I love the New Year, and not only is it a new year, but a new decade, the roaring 20’s but 2020 style.  I love the ring of 2020, to me, it is all about Vision.  What is your vision for your life?  What do you want to create, where do you want to be?  How do you want to feel?  These questions are important because they help us to live on purpose, they help us to align with our true selves and they awaken us to what is possible—sometimes we need to break from the cycle of life (I often refer to it as the hamster wheel).  

A healthy exercise for us all to do is the “More  & Less List”.  This is something I do most every year—it helps me to gain clarity on the things I want and don’t want in my life.  I created this idea (or list) as a way to guide myself towards the things that bring me joy, make me whole, ignite my spirit and also identify the things that take away from me, drain me, and prevent me from being my best self.   We all have them, and in the journey of self care and self aware, they are important to explore.  

Here are some things that may resonate with you and encourage you as you create your own list.  

More of in 2020!

More...Joy, peace, positive thoughts, gratitude, simplicity, organization, confidence, mindfulness, yoga, meditation, healthy meals, books, journaling, water, travel, coffee dates, God time, music, walks, writing, passionate work, affirmations & mantras, letting go, earning income, creativity, quiet time/reflection, serving those in need, field trips, beach walks, dog walks, salt air, hiking, capturing moments and memories.  

Less of in 2020!

Less… stuff, junk (food/thoughts/things), weight, negative thinking, fear, shame, guilt, anger, complaining, blaming, bitching, debt, wasteful spending, drama, negative people, status quo, bad habits, comparing, judging, toxic things and people.   

Chart our course for the new year and the new opportunity to live even more on purpose.  Small changes each day, and small reminders to choose joy, practice gratitude can help in these shifts in the direction of the things we want more of, and away from the things we want less of.

Find some quiet time for yourself, and write your More & Less List, the exercise alone is healthy and helpful!  Cheers to you and more Living HIPP this year and always!  XO

2010 to 2020
So many things have changed in this last decade. Some great things have happened, and overall, I feel truly blessed. I also experienced my most challenging years as well, this decade has brought me great joy and also has brought me to my knees—challenged in so many ways, and also encouraged to stand back up.  Each experience has been an opportunity to practice gratitude, grow in faith and learn to love myself a little bit more (I am truly compassionate and empathetic with others, and I am learning to be more of that way with myself).

The 2010 version of Pam:
This was an exciting time in my life, as I was in my early 40’s and finally letting go of all the expectations I put on myself (okay society, you too), and on the “hustle” mentality that served me well, but was not true to how I needed or wanted to be.  Note: while it was a shining time in my life, it was after a challenging few years of business decline, feeling lost on my purpose, and also realizing I was out of alignment (we need to go through the challenges to discover what is on the other side).  If we draw back the curtain and peak back to the earlier Pam (20’s & 30’s), she was all about achieving and moving up the ladder of life (financially, socially, and personally)—I was the living example of “work hard,  play hard” (while it worked my entire life, this mentality ultimately does not create my best self).  While some of that drive that is innate in me is important and has served me well, it also needs to be in balance with nurturing my soul, life is so much more than accomplishments or things, it is the people, the moments and the feelings that matter most—it is good health, experiencing joy and being brave enough to be vulnerable and your true self.  Up until this point in my life, I had created everything and hard work was the catalyst behind it all, but I was exhausted, and knew I needed to make some changes, and align my spirit in a way that felt less chaotic and more calm.  In 2010 I had discovered yoga and built a regular practice, this changed everything for me.  I shifted my focus from building business and achieving to unpeeling layers and discovering me, learning to “be" and getting in touch with my authentic self as opposed to following the crowd.  This time in my life proved exhilarating, challenging and more so rewarding, I let go of all the titles, roles, and expectations I put on myself (or I thought I should be doing) and I followed my heart and my gut, I became a healthier version of me.

This decade brought so much change, so many incredible blessings and some really challenging times.   We sold our newly renovated dream home, to downsize to a family home that would allow us to “settle in” and perhaps get a second beach home (never happened) and/or eventually move closer to the Ocean when the kids got older (which just happened sooner than expected).  So not only did we renovate 2 homes this past decade, we also sold these two homes, and built our new home, so the dreams, desire and drive in me channeled into our real estate investment and homes (reinvention, creation, design, home, all things I love).  Another big event was leaving my previous company and starting with Beautycounter—this was not an easy thing for me to do, I loved the people and company I worked with and am so very grateful for this company and all I learned, gained and was gifted with as a result of hard work, belief, open-mindedness & commitment.   I am proud that I was brave enough to create change and let go of what was comfortable and rewarding and took a risk to open up more opportunity for others and potentially myself.  I have met so many more incredible people in this journey and have been challenged in many ways  that I continue to be challenged by and allow for things to unfold.  I never wanted to be defined  by a company and a brand (no matter how much it has done for me, this one act allowed me to be free of that, and to place value on me rather than what company I "belonged to", it is true to who I am.   I have had a few branding experts remind me I am my brand, Pam Guyer, that is the brand that matters most and has far greater reach and influence (gulp, the fear begins to percolate in me as I write that).  

All this to say, I am grateful for both companies that have taught me, supported me, and continue to allow me to live my life by design, for that I am beyond blessed and grateful.   I love to be able to share that with others, and help them to create a business that supports their HIPP life, now that gets me fired up.   The past 2 decades for me have been navigating my way as a Mom Boss and teaching and inspiring others to do the same!  
This decade also gave birth to the creation of the book and lifestyle brand Living HIPP.  Living HIPP has been so important to me as it is a platform to share my passion, my voice, my lessons on life, leadership, motherhood and hoping to inspire others in this journey of living on purpose (while vulnerable and embracing our imperfections).    I have a much bigger vision for Living HIPP and this decade has taught me what my first boss told me years ago “Pammy, Rome was not built in a Day”—once again, patience and letting go, let things unfold, you are not in control.   I love immediate gratification and the latter part of this decade has been the more challenging part for me personally, I am trying to settle in and flow (to be honest, I am not in the flow, but that is okay, I have been here before and I know that the breakthrough will come, when I stop pushing and let it be).  Speaking of Rome, I am coming for you in this next decade, more travel, less burning gas and running on empty.  

The decade brought me great sorrow, with the loss of my Mom and Mother in Law—it really took me off my tracks, and I felt more vulnerable with too many changes: a new business, a serious & long term concussion injury, and grief that just felt crippling some days.  Loss is part of life, and something we all experience, some greater than others, I write this because I know you reading this may feel this in your heart for your loved one, I want you to know, I see you, I hear you and I honor the love and your loved one, always celebrate that love.  

My Mom and MIL (whom I adored) had such a positive and tremendous influence on my life, they were both my teachers, friends, and confidants.  Let me share more, with the hope that my transparency helps someone or brings them comfort…  One thing that these two amazing women experienced, and more recently I have experienced is depression (this topic that we as women don’t want to talk about because it may make us look weak, sad, different or less than)—truth is, most of us in our lifetime experience it to some degree.   While I wish I had all the answers, I don’t, all I know is that it is very real, and I am learning that it is a base line of who I am, which has been hard to accept as I like to think of myself as a positive person, but even us cheerful positive people get down, feel blah some days, even paralyzed and we need to honor that and sit with it.  I have been trying to hide it and hide from it, letting shame, fear, and all of those shitty feelings reside in my brain (this next decade I will stop running from, and start embracing this part of me and this part of you, this part of us).  I am the queen of reinvention,  not because I have kicked ass in business, went from major debt in my 20’s to a blessed life (home, community, family), and went from humble beginnings to a charmed life—yes, I can teach you how to have a vision, set goals and reach them (if you are committed to the process), but, where I have really been challenged is by the way my brain and body work —the truth is it works differently (as I was told by an expert, everything is much harder for me)!   My challenges are invisible:  ADHD, Anxiety, Addicitive Personality & occasional depression.  I have spent the majority of my life moving ahead, building and creating an image, working hard to be accepted and respected and in doing so, did not embrace, acknowledge or even consider my mind & body and these gifts god gave me (the next decade I will use these things I have felt shame about, and share them as my gift, I am still working on the shame and secret world of these topics).  So, the decade has taught me about anxiety and depression (and ADD & Addiction), not something I like to talk about (feeling vulnerable here people) but I must talk about it, because it is real, and it may help someone and/or encourage someone (it is far more prevalent than we talk about, and it is high time shine some light on this historically dark topic).   I am reminded there is a spectrum to all of this (I am fortunate that not one thing is on the heavy end of the spectrum, but nonetheless they are there, they wreak havoc at times and I try to show the world all I am made of, with this heavy & silent knowing on my shoulders that I struggle with these things, and I can’t keep up with the Jone's because I am not her (she is a myth), I am not going to pretend I have it all together because I don’t, and I am done with this myth we women and moms share or abide to.   It’s total Bullshit! 

I have a very blessed life, and it does not matter how blessed you are, we all need to be aware of our mental health (BTW, I don’t even like the word mental, perhaps mind health is better).  While I have my challenges in this area, I am so grateful that I always have hope, and also that I have a husband that supports me, and accepts that this is part of who I am (even thou I had a hard time accepting it myself).  My mom sends feathers when I need to see them, and my mother in laws keen understanding on emotional intelligence continues to teach me and support me as a go and grow.   I am not alone even though I feel alone in this at times. 

This is not a new topic for me, it is just one I have uncovered this last decade, but for years I experienced feelings, challenges and did not know what it was, I was too afraid to address it or even talk about it and I subconsciously hid it and buried it in work, food, alcohol, shopping, ultimately I learned you can run, but you cannot hide!    The only time I really recall addressing it was after my son was born, I experienced mild postpartum depression—this was the first time I asked for help, and it was the first time I acknowledged feeling the blues (I took great care of my babies, but felt depleted and empty inside of me).   So when you see me write all the time, remember, Social Media is the highlight reel, it is not the behind the scenes, I am sharing my behind the scenes, to serve you, those of you that need to know that I see you, I hear you and I care about you

I am a highly sensitive person (perhaps you are too) and I feel things deeply, which is really good (but the burden is there too, because I absorb the pain around me as well, and I embrace and am touched by others stories in a very heartfelt way).  At times, it is easier to escape these feelings rather than sit with them (I am learning to try and sit with them, and it is not easy).  

I share all of this because I am watching so many women hustle, prove, show the world they can do it all (I get it, I am that person too), but at what expense and let me ask, is it really bringing YOU joy?  Hard work for anything in life is necessary, so don’t ever stop working hard on your dreams and goals, just work even harder on yourself, design your plan and life based on you, not on what others are doing, wearing, saying, we just need to stop comparing, stop the madness that exists in the era of the girl boss, and showcasing a level of perfection (be it real life or social media) that honestly, does not exist.  If you follow me on Social Media, don’t ever think I have it all going on and am lucky, yes I have a blessed life (which I have worked my ass off for) but also, while it is beautiful and blessed, I face each day with my own vulnerabilities, to this day I don’t think “I am enough” and I too struggle with things, we all do.  I don’t talk about these things all the time because it does not serve me or you, I sprinkle it in, but I also practice gratitude, choose joy, and try and live with that spirit, and I share that to influence you to do the same.  I genuinely, wholeheartedly hope this helps someone or speaks to someone because it is vulnerable to write and share, but I feel tugged to do so, because you never know who it will help (God is pushing me all the time)!  :)

Now that we have this party started, let's tackle more truth bombs!   “But wait, there’s more”!
Another big change this past decade was the shift from partier to discovering that alcohol is not all that I had it chocked up to be!  I have such mixed emotions on this topic as I can’t say I quit drinking 6 years ago and lived happily ever after.  No, that would be a lie.  The truth is, I am proud of myself for looking at an area of my life and taking it on, and realizing I am better without it.   I have gone AF for long periods of time, and I am hard on myself because I have not stuck with it 100%—I allow myself to indulge at different times (or seasons, and that has brought some shame and as I write this embarrassment)—it is hard to live a life where alcohol was a part of the day, the celebration, the stress, the (you name it, lets drink over it)—to finding the voice to say “I really don’t want this, I used to love it but I no longer do”.   This probably deserves its own blog post, but working on my marriage, trying to be AF in a boozy world, going from the couple that entertains, enjoys drinks to saying “Babe, I just can’t do this”, has been HARD and is HARD.  But, make no mistake it has also been amazing, and I am proud to share that as much as I have loved drinking (yes, it has been relaxing and fun at times in my life) it is so much better without, and the whole drinking scene is total bullshit (as in not all it is cracked up to be), I am so much happier (HIPPer) without it.  No hangover, clear mind, heart, head and eyes truly are magical and in this past decade has taught me that, even thou I have not let go 100% yet, so much progress has happened.  So, I guess you could say I have had some.briety—and I will figure this out (with the help of God).  Progress, not perfection, I will lean into being proud that I do address it, and am aware and brave enough to make changes, I can only imagine how many other women are challenged by this, but live in this secret or shame because it is not a black or white thing for many of us, it is totally in the grey.   Don’t hide in it ladies, embrace your grey and discover what truly works for you (and don’t fall for the bullshit we all have been brainwashed over all these years, there is nothing sexy, sophisticated, or sensational about Mommy Juice, it is all a lie and for most women (who love to imbibe) the downside but played as the upside in their life (speaking truth, and speaking my truth).    Don’t even get me going on the food thing, all I can say is that it is either Cupcakes or Kale…. Enough said, and more to come on that!

My greatest accomplishment and joy this past decade has been raising 3 amazing humans, this by far is my greatest joy, proudest accomplishment and what fills my heart and makes it whole.  In 2010: Kaili 10, Cam 8, Colby 7—it was that crazy busy time, hockey, dance, carpool, chaos, and so much love, laughs, tears, shouting, mess & magic.  I loved this time, they were under my thumb and watching them grow from childhood to tweens to teens and now college-age has been the greatest gift, honor, and blessing in my life.   I am so proud of who they are, and I can say that I have felt that at every age and every stage of their lives.   How the heck did we raise such amazing people?  We did it as a team, we did so much of it imperfectly, and by the seat of our pants, but one thing I know for sure is that we did it with love and we put our family first and that somehow helped us in this most important role and journey.    If there is anything I am most proud of in my life, it is my family, they truly are my everything.

So, this decade has been a really good one - a really challenging one - and going from 40ish to 50ish is even more freeing, even more permission to fly your freak flag (insert song freak out from the 80’s).  You truly begin to no longer give a shit what others think, do or say.  We say it in our 40’s (but we still do care), we begin to become bolder in our 50’s (and I imagine there is some holding on there which I will better understand in my 60’s), but for now, I am grateful I am charting my own course, and celebrating my wins, yet sharing my losses (vulnerabilities, challenges and real-life matters that affect so many of us).   Life is oh so good, and on some days, oh so hard.  I am so grateful for the life I have, it is a blessing every single day.  I am excited about the next decade, and while I have my vision, I also have my commitment to be mindful, live in the moment and find the simple joys in each day.  I am committed to work on myself every day, and also be more compassionate toward myself—I am a person that needs rest, that needs alone time, that needs boundaries in place, I need to honor that and stay true to that.    While I am an extrovert in some ways, at the heart of it all, I am an introvert, and gain my energy by retreat.  This decade taught me that I spent my life being “social, outgoing, always game” and that my true self while loves a good time & fun also likes (and needs) alone time, less social gatherings, more intimate ones.   I always have raised the energy in the room, but what I have come to realize is that my energy does not come from the room, or the people, it comes from the rest and time in between, less is more, and I am going for more of that this decade and next.  

The present moment is the greatest gift of all.  For this dreamer and doer, learning to be even more present in this next decade, using mindfulness, yoga, meditation and gratitude as my daily practice.  So, this last decade I learned a TON, I shed light on many things, and this decade I am leaving the shame behind, and shining the light on the good, the bad and ugly.  You heard it here, ugly is the new beautiful.  Cheers to the beauty in you!  XO

I blog about life, about family, about my kids, about being a mom boss, living HIPP and all things that hit the heart, home and humor of this magical thing we call life. I don’t go in to my marriage, my guy, my life partner, my best friend as much, I guess because he is even more private than me, and also, the past few years have been a challenge for both of us. We have both launched new businesses, experienced the loss of our moms, and are navigating the world our baby birds leaving the nest—those things are enough, never mind working on ourselves and our marriage. I have had such confidence in our marriage, our relationship, our family and our home—and I attribute much of that to Charlie, he is the rock, and the person I can count on most in my life.

This weekend we will be celebrating Charlie’s birthday, and it seems fitting to tell you about this incredibly special guy. I can remember when we first started dating, EVERYONE told me “you got a good one”—and what that meant to me, was the full package: handsome, kind, fun, sweet, sincere, smart, and driven. He was all of those things and more.

Let me tell you about Charlie in all his roles in life, be it my opinion, observation or what others have said. He is that guy that you can only hope and pray your daughter will marry some day.

Son: Let's start here because this is where it all started. The self-proclaimed nerds (his parents), have such wonderful stories of Charlie, their “jock” son, and how he brought a whole new element into their home. Popular, handsome and an athlete, Charlie changed the trajectory of Guyer’s, all the while, being influenced by his parents in such a positive way. Easy going, funny and active, they adored him throughout childhood and developed such close friendships as an adult. Charlie is an amazing son, seeing him care for his mom at thee end of her life, and now care for his Dad by always being there truly is an example of who he is, loyalty, love and laughter help remedy the loneliness in his Dad’s life.

Brother: I can’t write this for my sister in law, but I can say that he and his sister have a special bond, and they have stepped up as a cohesive team to care for their parents. What strikes me most is how they navigate through all of the difficulty with such humor, it is brilliant and beautiful—they hold each others stories, memories and humor—it is really special. Likewise as a brother in law, I can speak for the Mellor 5 (okay the other 4) that they all love Charlie, as did my Mom who called him her “Charliekins”! I wish my Dad got to know him, he would have loved him, I can only believe that he knows him deeply, and Charlie has learned so much about my Dad from me, that he has often quoted him or spoke to him.

Friend: I marvel at Charlie’s ability to build friendships and how relationships are such an important part of who he is. No matter his stage in life, he has a cohort of life long friends—while they don’t always see each other, the love and loyalty is there, and every circle and stage in life, has friendships that develop and most remain in his life. I used to joke about the show “everyone loves Raymond” as I felt like we had our own episode: “everyone loves Charlie”—it is true, he is a magnet of people of all ages, and I always say if they don’t like him, there is something wrong with them (truth)!

Husband: Yes, I hit the jackpot—never in my life, have I been so loved, respected, cared for and adored in a relationship as I have with Charlie. He is patient, kind, compassionate, and does everything he can to support me. Most importantly, he makes me laugh, and we get each others humor through and through, that makes our marriage work.

He is more laid back than me, so as you can imagine, that can be a challenge, and often we joke about that. We are one team and we have each others back, even thou we might argue, get annoyed and all those emotions we all experience in a relationship, I think what we do most is laugh, we get each other, we have the same humor and we created 3 amazing human beings that have our humor too. I often say “what is wrong with us”—meaning we think, laugh and say the most awful things sometimes (all in good humor, and all so very funny)! I love his voice, and there are times when he says “Pammy” that I still melt, and I will forever cherish how he also calls me “Mellor” (my maiden name), and uses it as a noun, verb and way of life. No one knows me better than him!

Father: Out of all of his roles in life, I think this one is by far his best, which is a big compliment because he nails it in every way—Charlie is the best Dad. From day one, he has been fully involved in the kids’ lives, he is a family man and would rather be home with his family than out on the town at night. He is a teddy bear, and when you see him with babies, and with my babies, you just want to melt. He has coached all youth sports, been on various boards in our community and has been such a positive influence on many kids, including our own. Charlie is an encourager, a teacher, a big kid himself, he champions everyone around him, especially kids. At home, he jumps right in and shares the duty of running the house, and raising the kids, and it truly has been a partnership all these years (ain’t no 50’s model here, Pammy don’t do that)! I give him all the credit when it comes to school projects, he embraced most of it, and he patiently sat at the kitchen island working on them with the kids. Now with adult children, I can assure you his relationships grow as they do, “good time Charlie” continues to have laughs and fun with the kids, and quite honestly, I love that about him and our Guyer 5 way of life. With the kids in college, there are times my Charlie thinks he is still in college too, so what, that is what keeps him young!

Another role in his life is his professional one, I just want to brag on him for a moment, because he is such an unsung hero in that regard too. What I know about my husband is that he is fierce, over the years if there has been a lay off, job change or challenge, he has taken it on steadfast and has come out on top each and every time. He has excelled at his career in PR/technology combining all of the attributes—hard work, driven, relationship builder, creative, smart, innovative and committed. He is very good at what he does and well respected in his space. A few years ago, he decided to launch his business Guyer Group, a small PR consultancy firm—whereby he leveraged everything he as worked on for the past almost 3 decades, the relationships in business were key drivers to the success of his firm. Admittedly, he works his “head off”, and between his business and caring for his parents (and our family), he is working so hard every single day. Finally, after years of me being a Mom Boss, I have been able to flex my schedule to accommodate his crazy schedule, and just be home with the kids and managing things on this front (which has been important to my mental health). We make a great team, and at this stage in my life, I am working on “being” rather than what I did for decades “doing”, and I am blessed I am able to focus on that and our family. Thank you Guyer Group and Beautycounter, finding my own cadence as I grow in my 50’s.

You’re a Good Man Charlie Guyer!
A look back at where we were and where we are today….
So there we were, a newly married couple, in our new home in Georgetown MA with a baby on the way, it was early November and we were celebrating your 30th B Day—a big party at the house with friends and family. To today, early November, two decades later (3 houses later too), we have 3 amazing kids, 2 in college, 2 cockapoos we adore, homes we have loved and are building our next one—life at the beach, our happy place.
It has not been easy, it is not all sunshine & rainbows, but it has been incredibly amazing, and we are blessed beyond measure. So I am taking time to pause, to write, to reflect and to share…. Wishing my amazing husband a wonderful 51st birthday, we have more grey hair and more importantly, we have an amazing, blessed family & life with so many more memories to be made. I love you, Charlie! XO

There is a feeling in the air, one which brings me back to my childhood on Moncrief Road in Rockland—the anticipation of Halloween, the parties, the candy and behind all the sugar is something really sweet, the time of year, the chill in the air, the leaves falling and Halloween sky—it’s a feeling of home.

Our first Halloween with Kaili, she was Scooby-Doo—Charlie brought her around our small neighborhood because we were excited to start this tradition and begin our family fun. Each year we added another pumpkin, it is all a blur—for years, our home was the gathering spot, and we would have fun for the adults and children, and the best part is the night ended early. As a Mom Boss, Oct. 31st was also month-end close, I can remember many times handing out candy while closing the month out—it was energetic, exciting and full of empowerment—literally dropping candy with one hand and my cell phone (or was it a cordless phone) in the other hand. Getting the kids to bed with their sugar highs, and going into my office to work with my team to reach our goals—pure magic!

As I scroll through Social Media—it is a reminder of this event, one which does have a timeline for children, I no longer have trick or treaters at home, so now I get to enjoy all the pictures--the princesses and super heroes that come to my home. I am reminded of the stages and ages during this finite time. The babies all cute and dressed warm and adorable, the same is true for the toddlers—I can remember mine (Cameron as a Dalmation at age 2, not understanding the concept of going to someone’s door to get candy, each time the door opened, he would walk in, to this day we laugh about that one, he was so adorable). The pre-schoolers still in character, as I write this I remember Colby at age 3 as Batman, he was “almost” potty trained and I sent him without a pull up—lets just say Batboy had some bat poop that day—I can still remember his teacher telling me (and me cringing that I did not send him in a pull up, he was doing so good)! Early elementary and the parades at school—Kaili was a princess of every variety each year, it was perfect with her personality and beauty, to this day she is our princess. And then the time comes when you are no longer dressing them up, they are choosing their own (without your input) and things go dark, or things go strange, and things scary and it goes from cute to scary in a nanosecond. Another thing happens too…. You have your tradition, you have them with you, you are trick or treating as a family, and just like that, they are then off on their own, one by one. The next season you are then driving them to a friends house because they outgrow the family tradition and want to be with their friends, it is the natural progression of how they grow, and we as parents just navigate through, and enjoy each phase. They will usually push the trick or treating an extra year, and let’s be clear, that is just for the candy. I am okay with that, as we know, this is it for them, and I can remember doing the same with my girlfriend my sophomore year, going to the next town overdressed up to load up on candy.

It then all of a sudden changes, no kids trick or treating and dressing up, they are home (unless it’s the weekend) and then they are off to college—I miss those days, but I am okay with where we are, lets be honest, I miss the thousand dollar bars, and going through their stash!

The next stage is sending care packages with Halloween treats off to college, doing what my mom did for me when I was in college. They laugh at me, but I know how much they love it and for a split second or two, they feel like a kid again.

It all goes by so fast, I just keep thinking that, sharing that and seeing that. Those early years were so chaotic, I wish I could go back to that 30 something-year-old mom and say “be present, breathe and take this all in”. As Moms we are always multi-tasking, always racing, and trying to be everything to everyone—the hustle while important, is over-rated-- the best advice I can give: rest and be present. This over 50 mom knows all too well, time is our greatest commodity (in addition to health) and the race, be it in business, activities and all that is pushed on us is just not what matters in the end and over time. While important, so is rest and so is being present, I have learned that it is more important than the hustle and more enjoyable too!

As we begin the season of holidays, happenings and chaos, I hope those of you that are Moms, Mom Bossing, really take the time to be present, be connected, and know that the work will get done, the housework, the work work, the list of things to do. Trick or Treat, I say both, it is tricky, but all these moments are treats when we can really lean into them and just be. XO

I listened to a podcast this week, and the topic was Leadership and how humility is an important part of Leadership—I have been pondering on this for a few days because I believe there are so many facets to this leadership principle.

It is obvious to us that confidence is important when it comes to leadership, you’ve got to be confident in what you are doing, in who you are, in your ability to lead, and standing your own ground, not someone else's. I think we can all agree that confidence is the name of the game (to a degree) when it comes to leadership (not to be confused with arrogance which is something that deters most people, amiright). Confidence also has a shadow side, it is the truth of not having confidence 110% all the time, and to know that, is to experience vulnerability. Any world leader or true leader will share they had fears, doubts, and lacked confidence in their journey if we did not, we would not grow, we would not understand people and we would not understand challenges and how to navigate and grow.

The greater question is…. How can you be confident, and have humility?

The Podcast never went in that direction but my mind did, and my pondering did, and once again, checks and balances come in to play when it comes to developing confidence and embracing humility. Let’s be clear, humility is not meekness, it is not in the context of meek and/or weak when it comes to leadership. Rather humility is vulnerability, and vulnerability is what humans are made of, at its core it is how we relate. None of us are exempt from vulnerability, we are all vulnerable at various stages of our lives. To understand this and to embrace this builds our character as a leader, it builds our emotional intelligence and it builds strength, strength that is not seen or heard but present as we endure the days in business and/or life that are challenging, that are not aligned with our core values and perhaps the path that we are on. I can think of various stages in my journey as a leader and also in teaching and studying this topic—confidence, vision, communication, action are all important traits—equally thou is the ability to listen, to learn, to lead through emotional intelligence and truly understanding people and leading them with compassion, humility, and heart (this is what more leaders need to learn in the corporate and entrepreneurial worlds).

Leadership is Lifetime. It is broader than business, it is how we lead our lives, our communities, our families, our vision, and how we are of service to others—to be, that is leadership.

I believe the answer at the core of all of this is AUTHENTICITY!

Leaders, share your fears.
Leaders, share your losses.
Leaders, share your mistakes.
Leaders, share your vulnerabilities.
Leaders, share your truth.
Leaders, share your voice.

While we need to be vulnerable, and vulnerability is one of our greatest teachers and partners in humility, we must also work on ourselves to grow, to evolve, to change (without losing ourselves, our core values and who we are).

Let’s balance this out, while vulnerability is our greatest asset in leading people, we must also find our courage, strength, and confidence to take action and move forward in a positive direction.

Leaders, share your vision.
Leaders, share your conviction.
Leaders, share your belief.
Leaders, share your heart.
Leaders, share your love.
Leaders, share your gifts.

Great leaders are also great followers.
Who are you following?
Who are you learning from?
Who are you inspired by?
Who do you look to with an open mind and heart?
Who are the people you surround yourself with, are they authentic, compassionate, empathetic, positive, service-oriented?

Our legacy is not who we become as a leader. Our legacy is who we influence in our leadership. Our leadership is not a title, a pay rank, a popularity contest, or what we have achieved…. Our leadership is our example of who we are, how we treat people, how we show up (even if we don’t some days) and how our voice, life, or actions impact others in a positive way. Creating this perfect authentic storm of vulnerability and vitality in life and in leadership! No matter what you do and how you lead, be sure to lead with love!

XO

Watching my father in law over the past two decades with his dogs truly has confirmed for me that a dog is man’s best friend. One of their neighbors years ago said, “if I come back in another lifetime, I want to come back as a Guyer Dog”. Yes, if you have read about my in-laws at all, you have come to know they are (and were) the most servant-hearted, kind, loving, generous people—on the daily I have heard, “what can I do, what do you need, let me help you with that”. They lived to nurture their family, friends, and dogs—all the while, having a great life. I have such wonderful memories of their Golden Retrievers, and how they treated them like their children, I did not quite understand this as I did not grow up with a dog, but the love, I related so well to the love that was shared. We nicknamed their home “The Yellow Dog”, because it was a great place to be, with dogs wondering, and for Charlie and I as a young couple before kids, a great spot for drinks, dinner and the best company ever. We would have fireside chats or a more casual dinner “downstairs at the dog”, with the football game going, crackling fire, dogs curled up on the floor and the most wonderful two people to share many conversations, laughs, dreams, plans and memorable moments with. Grandchildren came on fast and furious, and the dogs grew with them, and at this time, I truly observed love and loss of Pets with my in-laws, when both Molly & Maggie eventually moved on. While the grandchildren filled their lives beyond anything they had ever dreamed of, there was always an empty space on the dog bed that remained in their home. Dogs just make a home and family complete, and that is true for my in-laws.

Eleven years ago, our dear friends were getting new puppies, Golden’s from a mutual friend of ours, one of the most loving breeders and incredible women, Deb. I had mentioned to my in-laws, and they had said a few times they were getting too old—but would keep it in mind. Sure enough, they decided to call Deb, they all talked about aging and were they up for a puppy, it almost deterred them. They made the day trip up to VT to see Deb and meet her litter of beautiful Golden’s. It was love at first sight, and “Nel”, made her way to Bumpa, quietly resting on his leg, and the rest is history. Nel just made her way into the best home possible and has had such an incredible life.

Nel became Bumpa’s best friend, companion and has been right by his side (literally) for more than a decade.

Losing my mother in law 2 years ago was hard, and while we were by his side, his companion Nel has been their 24/7. Nel has given him purpose, and his caretaker role continues with the love and care for her. Just a few weeks ago, we learned that Nel has Cancer, and Bumpa was left with the decision for surgery (which was no guarantee or putting her down), he could not bare the thought of not trying, so he invested in surgery. Unfortunately, we learned that she has cancer throughout her body, and she had days, weeks or months left. Our heart breaks for Bumpa as he does not know what he will do without her. We assure him we will be by his side, and between both families, we will help him through this.

Man’s Best Friend. These words could not be truer when it comes to Bob Guyer and his beloved Nel. The realities of love and loss are hitting him hard these days, and yes, hitting my husband and his sister hard too. At this time, it is “One Day at a Time”. This phrase we use so often, and the wisdom in this phrase is so underrated (I see another blog post here).

His golden years, his golden retriever, it is all so bittersweet, but I keep reminding him and my husband how blessed he is, and how blessed we all are. The special bond between these two goes beyond anything I will ever understand—it is real, it is raw and it is love.

Dog, man’s best friend!

A few days ago, it was 2 years since my mother in law’s passing. My husband went to her favorite Florist shop, Leonards in Beverly, and had a gorgeous arrangement made which he brought to his Dad’s house. The two of them spent a few hours celebrating her life, a jack in Bumpa’s hand and a Tito’s for Charlie—also a nice walk down to the beach with the dogs--my father in laws favorite place on earth.

I joined them for their walk to the beach, and also brought “Bumpa” dinner, I knew on this day, it would be great to have a meal made as it is a sad day and sad time for our Bumpa. Married for over 60 years, so much of his life with his wife and best friend by his side, but every day he gets up, he gets going and we are grateful for Nel (his golden retriever) who protects him as he dotes on her. Bumpa is by far the kindest, nicest man I have ever known….

I am writing this post in honor of my mother in law, and also in honor of my relationship with her. I know there are so many stories of “mother in laws”, I am one of the lucky one’s, I had such a close relationship with her, and loved her as she equally loved me. Losing her was numbing, I honestly feel like I did not have adequate time to mourn her, while I felt sad, I needed to stay strong for my family, for my husband, and also, having just lost my Mom a year before this, I was grieving my Mom, and could not go to the place of truly grieving both of them. Her illness and decline was over a 2 year period, Parkinson’s Disease and Alzheimer’s, which I have learned ALZ to be an incredibly awful disease, it is so difficult for the patient and even more so for the family. We need to do more about brain health, Alz research--but I digress, I want to focus on my Margaret, and share more about my relationship with her and this most amazing other woman in my life.

When Charlie & I started dating, I knew we were from different worlds, but what I did not realize is how similar (while different) our worlds were (as I write this I realize this is another blog post). I remember so clearly the feeling I had before meeting his parents, while I was excited and looking forward to it, I was also inwardly intimidated, not by them, but by my insecurity of not being “good enough”. Think about how often we conjure up feelings of “less than” or fears, insecurities and “stories” when in fact they are not truths, they are not how it turns out and they do not serve us. Thankfully I also brought my “A game”, meaning I opened my heart and mind to all the commonalities, and also, all the good inside of me, and lead into this new place, these new people with my heart. I began to expand my experiences and also create such impactful relationships with my in-laws, it was a friendship in the making. Their influence on my life is something I can’t even explain, all that I can say is we all agreed that the Mellor Family and the Guyer Family absolutely embraced each other, and both families had such appreciation and respect from the beginning.

Peg and I really began to bond even more when Kaili arrived, every day she would drive 30 minutes to be with us, and her and I watched in awe, the baby girl that had changed both of our lives so deeply. My first child and her first grandchild—she dedicated her life at that time to being Gramma, and loved every second of it. Not only did she help me with Kaili, she also helped me, nurtured me, and did anything to support my role as a new mom. She was so sensitive to the demands of motherhood and also the exhaustion and inner fears of being a new mom—this was so different from my family, in my family, you had babies, and warriored on, you just did it, and it was no big deal. On one hand I had Peg saying “oh Pam, how will you do it, please take a nap, let me do the laundry, let us bring you dinner” in addition to all the help she offered and provided every day. Where as my Mom, 8 grandchildren in, mother of 5 and grandmother for 20+ years was all about, “you just do it, you’ve got everything you need inside of you, it’s instinctive”. My mom’s coping mechanism was a "suck it up and warrior on" style (although she will share she absolutely loved every minute of raising kids, she loved it so much and I believe it was just her make up). Peg was also an incredible mom, and she was more vulnerable about motherhood—as she understood real issues at this time of exhaustion, depression, anxiety and isolation (all real, all raw, and she taught me so much, that would later serve me in life). In those long days in Georgetown MA, I loved being a Mom, I loved my time with Kaili and I loved my time with Peg. We would stare at the baby, talk about life, fold laundry together and when not talking about serious things, we would laugh, poke fun at ourselves and build such respect, admiration and full on love and friendship for each other. It was so very special and I am so very grateful. Our parenting style was different, I was all about the schedule and Peg was not—she would comment at times but she saw how much my babies thrived, and she followed the schedule while also breaking the rules, just perfect for a Gramma. Her and Kaili had a special bond, she loves all of her grandchildren equally, it went from this special one on one time, to fast and furious a pack of 5 grandkids, who she just adored. “The Bumpas” became the place where all 5 grandchildren loved to be, house was transformed into a nursery and playroom and these two beautiful people just adored their roles as grandparents.

When it comes to motherhood we never do it alone—we have conversations with others, people in our lives that support us, and are there to cheer us on. Peg was my cheerleader, she was always checking in on me, and also gave me way more credit than I deserved. She would always say she did not know how I did it, even thou I learned ways and strategies to put support in place (I think that is where she gave me credit, creating a home, family life, and being there while building a career—the fact is, I could not have done any of that without her)!

We had many jokes and she loved when I would call her “Margaret”, of course, it was in a playful way, she would laugh so hard with my sassy tone and would respond back “Pamela”! It was our joke, our place to poke fun of ourselves and each other. When the decline in her health and memory declined, I would smile at her and raise my voice “Margaret”, she would smile so much that the home care attendant would say “she knows, she knows”.

While I could never do as much as my husband and sister in law did for their mom in those months and months of her decline, in my own way, I was able to sit with her, talk with her, rub her leg gently and tell her how much I loved her. How much she meant to me, and also told her she was going to be okay, that everything and everyone was going to be okay. I told her we would take care of Bumpa and how much all the kids loved Gramma. I miss my conversations with her, I miss her laugh, I miss her intelligent views on things, she was so smart and also so kind. We had deep conversations about life, we also talked about stain removal, and household chores (she was the queen of getting a stain out), the mundane, ordinary conversations that matter, especially when you turn it into humor and laughter. We would joke about Tupperware, how we both had a pet peeve when people would leave the house with it, say they would return it and never do (this was before the disposable ones)—we would laugh and any time we sent each other home with things in Tupperware we would cheerfully say in that joking way “Keep It”!

I think about how many people waste their energy and time on complaining about the in-law (granted, there are many that have good reason to do so). Beyond those difficult ones, what if we open our hearts and mind to the good. I opened my heart and mind (while scared and of course so loyal to my own mother), and because of that brave move, I was blessed beyond I could imagine with the most amazing other woman in my life. I love you “Margaret” and you will always be in my heart forever.

There is this undeniable feeling that stirs within us when Fall arrives—while in September we are letting go "oh so slowly" of Summer, we anticipate new beginnings and for many of us, a fuller calendar and cadence to life. When October arrives, it is then when we truly are ready to indulge in the season, it’s beauty, it’s bounty and this special time of the year.

All the Feels!

Our spirit holds the feeling of this time of year—it is sunshine, it is cool, crisp air, it is the chill in the air that makes our hearts warm—that Fall feeling arrives and is embedded in our being. Instinctively we know this season, the sights, the sounds, the sunshine (and yes the rain). The burst of colors so vibrant, leaves falling, leaves swirling and our spirit, memories, and presence are engulfed in this magical feeling, this magical time, that melds together years of growing, years of experiences that celebrate this season, this feeling and this magical time of year. When we open our hearts and minds to the beauty of it all, we allow our spirit to soar, bringing up all the feelings of the season and the positive vibe in it all. It is magical. It brings me back to my childhood, the smell of cinnamon in the kitchen, BC Football playing on the television, my Dad’s beautiful crisp & clear blue eyes and him saying “it’s time to get the woolies out” while rubbing his hands together. It takes me from that kitchen to my kitchen today, planning meals that are warmer and full of comfort, a candle burning and let’s just be honest here my kid looking into his phone snap chatting away. I have no doubt that he takes in the vibe, the feel the comfort of home. I am connecting my experiences and providing a space for theirs, it is something we don’t always talk about, but it is a beautiful thing, and each season I am reminded of the thread and tapestry of our lives.

All the Things!

There is nothing like experiencing “all the things” at this time of year. On a crisp, sunny cool day, here in New England, we can finally put on our chunky, cozy sweaters with a pair of jeans & boots—throw on some shades and we are feeling it all and ready for the day and this season. Let us not go too far without a warm drink in hand be it coffee, pumpkin spice latte, hot cider or whatever your favorite is this season—it just feels good. The tastes of the season are upon us and pumpkin spice is everywhere, I don’t love everything pumpkin spice, but I love seeing it everywhere, and I love seeing how people are so excited for the taste of the season. The experiences this season are festive and help to ignite all the feels: hayrides, apple picking (bring on the apple pie, apple crisp), pumpkin patch, football games, bonfires and gathering with family and friends.

That first fire of the season warms the home and warms the heart. The moon shows its glory in harvest and the sky is different, and sets the stage of this beautiful season from day to night, preparing us for winters hibernation. Fall Fashion, Fall Food, Fall Fun, it all matters, it all creates this Feeling of Fall.

This time of year is about harvesting, we plant the seeds to nurture and grow, so beyond all the things, and all the feels, it is a time of growth, of earth, of germination and work that is happening that you cannot always see. What seeds are you planting to harvest your life? Are you tending your garden? Do you feed it, protect it, pay attention to it? We are the seed. We are the garden and in each season, we need to look at our own harvest, our self care, our life, our dreams, desires and nurture, love and respect this beautiful bounty.

Life is busy, life is hard, all days are not always good days, I get it. Find your moments, be present with it, practice gratitude daily this season, and let your spirit rise this season—you deserve all the feels, you deserve all the things! XO

I am finally writing a post about my Cameron going off to college, my middle child, my oldest boy “big boy” and this beautiful human that has challenged me, touched me, taught me and makes my heart burst with love. When I had 3 babies in 3 years, my Mom talked about the positive, how much I will love it as they grow and are into the same things (same stage of life)—she said it would get easier. She was right, I loved having our Guyer 5, the stages were full, chaotic, but also so magical (in the mess). What Mom did not share is that the stages of them leaving the next would be fast and furious—Kaili last year, and Cam this year, I’m ready, but I’m not…

Cam is a 6+ hour drive away in upper state NY, it is long and the drive home when we moved him in was long, and miles and miles apart. Cam has now been at college for just over a month, we moved him in for Football Camp, and when we hugged goodbye, it was a quick goodbye in the dining hall, before he rushed off with his teammates he did not know, to be at the kick-off meeting. In retrospect it was good I suppose, because I just wanted to hold him, look at him, and not let go.

We walked out of the dining hall as Guyer 4, with our 5 in Canton NY, in the middle of nowhere. On the drive I saw the moon and the miles, I also thought about Cam’s journey, the boy that never gives up, never gives in and how this trait has served him so well.

Getting home very late (early morning), tired enough not to dwell, but peeking into his bedroom, and of course, my Cameron did his signature thing and left clothes on the floor (note: laundry basket right there)—a sweet reminder of what once drove me crazy, brought me such comfort (it was so gratifying to pick up his clothes from the floor this time)—I have no doubt he left them there knowing I would be picking them up with the same nostalgic spirit.

All of these emotions of change, letting go, knowing we are at this place in time are there, but also, more importantly, we are focused on his adjustment and orientation in to college (all while being on the sidelines and waiting for his call, his FaceTime and holding back from saying are you okay, have you met friends & are they good people, a gazillion times! We were thrilled to see him happy, see him enjoying the campus, his room, the team and all things college, our boy was settling in just great, which helped us to settle in at home. He loves it and so far he is happy and thriving.

The house is a lot quieter, Cam made up for many voices, commotion, and presence. He would instigate his brother every morning, misplace his keys or wallet almost daily and we now know who was not lifting the seat (moms of boys, you get that one)! A week from today we have parents weekend, and I can’t wait to see my boy, hear his laugh, be with him and indulge in all things Cam (football, friends, fun)!

I hope any parent reading this that has already sent their kids off, is reminded of this special bond, special time that is both incredibly challenging but something you just need to do and “pretend” it’s normal to raise a child (nurture, protect, feed, teach, love, care for) and then let go. Fly little birdie, fly! You read this with more wisdom and insight and know this feeling oh so well. I also hope parents with littles that are not at this stage just yet, are inspired to be present, be aware that those ordinary moments are truly the extraordinary ones. Life pulls us in so many directions and as a Mom (or Dad) your most important space is your home/family and the months and years are going to fly by. Hold on while you can, and be in the moment—put down your phone, put aside your to-do list and just be….

Cameron Charles, I might be letting go but remember, I am holding on forever! While I am here at home, a piece of my heart is in Canton NY—carry that love with you everywhere you go!

Last night on my way home from a Yoga class, it hit me once again (and it clearly became evident the feelings I have been trying to avoid, even though it truly is all good). My oldest son, my Cameron will be going off to college this Fall, we just went through this with Kaili, and now Cameron, I am feeling it deeply, and am covering it up on the surface. I typically go to yoga during the day, but last night attended a Yoga Nidra class, which is meditative in nature, more healing and so good to balance out the typical hot power yoga that I practice. I left the class feeling grateful I attended, calm in nature and curious about my healing (why do I need healing when I am truly so blessed)—I don’t have the answer, but what my gut tells me is that we all have healing to do and those of us that are empaths, our hearts and bodies simply absorb more (the good, the bad and the ugly).

On my drive home, I was looking at the beautiful moon in the sky, my goodness, it was absolutely beautiful. There is a section of farmland, and with the moon lighting it up, it was something only God could create. As I looked at the moon, I was reminded of my Son Cameron, as a baby and toddler, he was so curious, he loved the moon, and looking out the window in awe of the Moon, Sun, Snow and Tree’s—most kids are, but he found such delight in this. I can still hear his sweet baby voice “Mooooon”, and his tender sweet hand and finger-pointing at it. We had a routine every night, after storytime, I would go to each window to pull the shade down and we would say “Good night Moon” and yes, the book was one of our favorites at that time. Those sweet memories warmed my heart as I drove, watching the moon, thinking about how time has passed, my Cameron is now a man, full-grown: handsome, fresh, funny, sweet, caring, messy, curious but also cool. That bald little head, grew into sweet hair, that then became a “page boy” hair cut, that then became hair he would cut while mom was out (scissors, hair & kids don’t mix well), then a whiffle, then straight and curly and short and long. Today, it is that hair that bunches out under a ball cap, with hairy legs and arms and the sweet bedroom is now wrappers, dirty clothes and Boston sports teams abound.

The Moon.

The Moon is there every night and on some nights lighting up the skies. While we are changing, growing and going through the stages of life, the Moon is still there and is that steadfast miracle that lights up the sky, working in tandem with the Sun (or Mr. Sun as we so happily referred to it in the toddler years). It occurred to me, and the Moon shined it’s light on, the emotions stirring inside of me. My Cameron is growing up and my Cameron will be off next year to college, just like his sister. I then pictured calling him at school and asking him if he can see the moon, I often joke with him about his infatuation about the Moon, and how much I love his curious mind as a toddler, and that sweet (and hard) time in our lives. We would sing “I see the Moon and the Moon see’s me” and I am certain his older sister tried to steal the show with her Shirley Temple way as a 3-year-old. Cam was quieter, more reserved, but let his needs be known with demands and maybe a tantrum. When those happened after dark, we would distract and find the moon, it soothed him, it soothed me, and all was well in the world.

While it was “many moons ago”, it was just yesterday. The mundane nights, good night moon, I am reminded once again that the small moments and the ordinary days truly are the extraordinary times and the moments that really matter.

Good Night Moon. Good Night Cameron. Good Night to this precious time in our lives, but it is not goodbye, we are in it now and I am going to embrace it all. When the sun goes down, the Moon is always there, shining in its glory or hidden behind the clouds—an example of life and all its glory and the evolution of time and life.

Good Night Moon.

On the early morning of September 11th, 1994, my world came crashing down. I heard a door swing (crash open) and heard “Call 911, it’s George”! Awoken from my sleep, my Mom and I both picked up the phone, frantic and not knowing the situation, but with a history of heart disease, I lived my entire life in fear of this very moment.

My Dad suffered a major heart attack that morning, which was 25 years after his first major heart attack (age 29) where he they was not expected to survive. He did, and when we lost him, our comforting thoughts and my Mother reminded us, that were blessed to have him an extra 25 years, she was there 25 years before, when his last rights were read in the hospital.

We lost my Dad that day, gathered around him in the ICU—I can’t even explain the pain, the shock all the while knowing that this day would some day come. Loss is so very difficult, and sudden loss is really hard (as is long term)—so I am going to share more about his life, rather than his death.

My Dad was one of the strongest people I know. He has endured what no human should ever, a difficult childhood did not deter my Dad, it set him on a courageous path to change his life, and create a family and life that he so cherished. The song “Circle of Life” had just come out before my Dad left this earth, he loved this song, and had so much wisdom about life, he truly was grateful as he knew each day was a gift. He sought healing his entire life, he spent time with God (very spiritual), he loved music, he loved nature, he loved a good laugh and he equally enjoyed a dirty joke. As I describe him you would think he was an angel, yes and no! He was an angel and is our angel today, the biggest heart for family but also he was a guys guy. He loved to laugh with his sons, his brothers, his friends, his wife & daughters, he was so funny, fresh and fun. He also had a fiesty temperament, he did sweat the small stuff and worked hard each day not to “lose it” over small insignificant things. My Dad was the best when it came to big issues and how to handle them, he was so wise, so in touch with his character, and any time we had a challenge, he was the best person to give advice, and help us chart our course. What I would give to sit with him today, so much advice I would ask, so much credit I would give him for his lessons in life—I have often thought this, and am reminded he is here spiritually.

A small man with a big heart, handsome, bright crisp blue eyes, tan skin and a smile that truly lit up the people around him.

The Circle of Life is beautiful, and my Dad was wise to know that his words of advice, and his love would be shared spiritually, while he is not on earth with us, we continue to celebrate him, quote him, and seek his advice from the words he shared with us more than 25 years ago.

Those days and weeks that followed, I felt such deep pain—my Mom (at only age 54) strong as ever, took the lead and encouraged us to put one foot in front of the other. She stood strong beside us, and reminded us that we need to live our lives, one day at a time—Dad would not want anything else but for us to live fully. Even thou I wanted to remain in the fetal position, each day I became a little more braver, getting in my car, commuting to my job in Boston, and taking on all the firsts that year: Thanksgiving, Christmas, Dad’s B Day, Easter, Father’s Day and very simply, life as we knew it.

His greatest joy was being Papa to his 12 year old granddaughter and also the babies, 2 grandsons and 2 baby granddaughter’s. He would leave a legacy of a family that would continue to grow: 6 granddaughters, 4 grandsons and 1 great grand son—Nanny had enough love and her heart & home became the place that sheltered us all from our sadness, fears and challenges in life. I have days I get mad or sad, why can’t he be here to be part of our lives, why oh why God did you take him from us? I need to then remember that I can’t control that, and I just need to accept it, as hard as it is. Anyone that has experienced loss knows this feeling and also knows that through the pain, we need to create our comfort, our joys, our memories and continue on in the circle of life.

I did move forward, I did move on (with you in my heart)...

You did not get to walk me down the aisle, but my big brothers locked arms with me as we walked with you in our hearts. Best of all, I had a great man at the alter waiting for me—I believe in my heart you sent him to me.

We did not have our dance (Daddy’s Little Girl) but you did play it and if I recall I believe we danced to it in the kitchen on Moncrief Road. To this day, I have fond memories of you dancing to Feliz Navidad in the kitchen, with your goofy slippers on. While we did not have “the dance”, we danced, we sang and I have a girl that I will see have her dance with her Dad some day, and I will happily think of you.

My biggest accomplishment and proudest moment are the 3 amazing, beautiful children I have. Dad, I see parts of you in them—and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are there, you see my babies and delight in their lives. As I shared in the hospital room on 9/11, we knew you were leaving us and through tears, I assured you that my kids someday would know you, no matter what, they would know they had the best Papa in the world (even thou it was a few years before having children). We quote you, I talk about you to them, and I even had 2 hockey players to keep that Mellor Boys Hockey alive!!!!

Twenty Five Years has been too long. There were days I thought it was impossible to go on, but with the help of Mom and many others, I got up each day and put one foot in front of the other. And for me, time did heal, things eventually got easier, and while not fully healed, life still happened, and my own circle of life was waiting for me. What a beautiful life, what a beautiful legacy...

25 years…. I got married, I gave birth to 3 babies, I raised those babies, and have experienced so much personally, professionally-- many positive experiences and some difficult ones too. Losing Mom a few years ago was hard, but life is hard, and we can’t let these things make us hard. As you and Mom taught me, to live life fully, move forward, don’t quit, look at the bright side and never forget where you came from. I came from the best, while we did not have the best of everything, we certainly made the best of everything. To me, that is the best way to live and while you both are not here on Earth with me, you are my Circle of Life, you are part of me, you are my heart, you are the crisp leaves in the Fall, the snow in winter, the flowers in spring and the warm breezes and sunshine in summer, you are with me always. You are in my kids smiles and laughter, and while I am so proud of them and want to share it with you, Giggie, Cubby, Shelly, and Suzie get texts from me as they have stepped in to be grand parent like to the kids. The Circle of Life...

9/11 has significant meaning to our world and it is a day we will never forget (this anniversary is now significant for 2 big reasons) and I honor every person on this day. The 9-1-1 in my life was 25 years ago, and my life and heart, has never been the same. I miss and love you so much Dad, until we meet again….

I love the season changes, they bring back wonderful memories and soothe the senses in very healing ways.  Here in New England, we get to experience all 4 seasons, and living my entire life in this region, brings back memories through sights, scents, and sensations of this glorious time of year.  

While we are in a state of mind and getting back to our routine, schedules, business, and life—we are also hunkering down, getting grounded and most importantly enjoying this time of year.  

Some things I love about the season are big sweaters, boots, soup, pumpkins, sunshine, foliage, bursts of bright yellow, orange & red, falling leaves, cool crisp air, the smell of a fire at night, warm socks, football, comfort food, family dinners, harvest candle, decorating my home, a warm fire on a chilly night.

Here are some things you can do to celebrate the season and enjoy it even more:

—Find a favorite sweater. There is nothing like sweater weather

—Decorate your home with a few fall items, things that make you feel good and make your house feel more like home.

—Be outdoors, be present, take it all in.  The color, the smells, the beauty, the air, breathe that fresh fall air.

—Go to a football game, or sport that you like, or at the very least, watch it on television, high school & college football truly help with that spirit of the season. 

—Build a fire or light a candle at night.  The warm glow truly does warm the heart and helps to ground the soul.

—Walk outside as much as possible.  The cool air, bright colors, and crunching leaves connect you to the season, the earth and yourself.  

—Visit a Farm or Orchard, apple picking, pumpkin patch, hayrides, warm cider, and cider donuts, take it all in. 

—Lastly, get yourself a great pair of boots.  Yes, splurge - fall sweater and fabulous boots, you deserve it, just do it!  

Fall is a feel-good time of year.  Don’t miss out, try not to rush through it, racing and pacing and missing out on the miracle, the feeling, the joy in it all.  Feel the Feels of Fall and share that light and your light with the world!

XO

I knew years ago when I worked in the corporate world that someday, I would be my own boss. I actually had visions (before I had kids) of being on the beach with a cell phone, kids running around and working this flexible schedule (I genuinely believe what you think about you bring about). This impression and visualization (which was not forced, just visionary) are what happened to me 3 years into Motherhood.

I was in the Corporate world teaching Leadership Development after my second child was born, I decided to end my corporate career and stay home with my kids, I so badly wanted to be home with them, and have them at home.

What I did not anticipate is that I would lose myself in the process. The days became mundane to me, and while I love my kids more than anything on earth, I missed myself, I missed passionate Pam, professional Pam and my desire to do, be and have more. Equally, I missed making an income, I had made an income from the time I was 12 years old, I also had always been financially independent, and in some way, empowered me to make my life better by putting myself through college, and saving a sizable amount of money to purchase a home.

So I set out to find work, I wanted to make an income from home, have flexible hours and make $50K a year part-time. It did not exist, or so I thought!

I was introduced to Direct Sales, and I very hesitantly began a business, not entirely sure it would work, and honestly a bit embarrassed to be doing business in a living room. However, my desire to have flexibility, earning potential and work on my own terms was stronger, and thankfully I jumped in. Within a year I met my income goal, but also saw a more significant opportunity for me and my family—I would work really hard, but over time, built an incredible income that far surpassed my full-time income, and my husband’s in the corporate world.

I am so glad I said yes, I am so glad I decided to take a chance and not worry about what others would think or say. Back then it was not as well received, today, social selling is where the market is, and it is easier and better than it has ever been—allowing me and other Mom Bosses more flexibility, more mobility, and working our businesses virtually.

The income as a Mom Boss can be incredible, and it indeed did change our lives for the better. But it takes hard work and time to get there.

You have late nights, you can hear no a lot, you can question yourself, your husband might laugh at your first check, but stay the course because you are writing your own story, the income will grow when you do, consistent activity and positive leadership & vision are key.

But, it’s not all about the money, even though it is important and certainly motivates me to do more activity and take action, if I did not do that, I would not have built a business like I did—yes, there were days of me in my office while the moms were hanging out in the cul-de-sac and yes, while people were home watching Gray’s Anatomy at night (or whatever the favorite show was), I was more than likely out working or in my office, catching up on work.

This opportunity as a Mom Boss changed me as a person. I found my voice, and rather than yell at the kids to listen or stop fighting (which obviously did happen too), I was speaking with passion, with purpose with conviction about what I did and how other Moms and women could do the same thing also. It became magic when I could share it with others, help others grow and see how it changed not only me but the women I worked with.

Here are some benefits that I have experienced, as well as many colleagues in the industry or doing their own gig.

—Grew as a Leader. I developed leadership skills like never before, even thou I taught leadership in the corporate world.

—Grew Personally. I became a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and businesswoman.

—Mind Set. My mindset changed, I learned so much about the power of the mind, and how that shows up in our lives positively or negatively.

—Confidence. I grew confidence both personally & professionally while maintaining humility & realness in both work and life.

—Life Balance. This has been an ongoing challenge & opportunity—while I worked hard & was out of balance, that taught me how to create it.

—Healthy Lifestyle. This is a work in progress, but learning and growing have brought me down a path of better living & better choices.

—Community. I have had a positive tribe for the past 16 1/2 years, and lucky me, two different companies with incredible people.

—Spirituality. While this is not for everyone, this was a huge benefit for me. I believe we all have a desire to believe, and faith is important.

—Recognition. At home, I did not get a standing ovation for folding the laundry, but in business, there was so much recognition & reward.

—Purpose. I believe we all have a purpose deep inside and having a business gave me the platform to discover and uncover mine.

—A Voice. I needed a platform to share my voice, my passion, my vision. This led to a bigger vision outside of the industry and into the world.

I think motherhood is amazing and all Moms are incredible. Working Moms, Stay at home Moms & the Mom Boss—there are no right or wrongs, it is best to do what makes you happy and is best for your family. For me, I needed more, I needed to work, but I also wanted to be home, and connect with the kids throughout the day—it was not always easy, but it worked and was the best thing for me and my family. I did not “do it all,” I built a team and support system that made it all work, I had to be vulnerable with this, and realize that it does take a village.

If you are afraid to start, my advice is just to start where you are. I was afraid too, I was doubtful, I was too busy, I was overwhelmed, I did think about what others would think, I had to challenge my husband on how much time I was working and not quite yet making an income. I am so glad I did not stay in my obstacles, I am so grateful I chose to believe, chose to take action, decided not to quit and chose my truth in needing balance in my life, being a Mom while being a leader and motivator. Not only has it been financially rewarding, but the real reward is also where it has led me, and how it has given me a clear vision of my purpose, and how I want to put a dent in the universe, just one person at a time! The cool thing, this is not my story, this is your story, or it can be your story. Listen to that voice inside, say no to the obstacles and say yes to the opportunity.

XO

I love this time of year, even thou saying goodbye to summer is hard, it is the newness of the season and the vibe and feel of getting “back to” a routine, setting goals, having a schedule and more time to focus on work/life/goals/health that leads us to our best life.  

Arguably, September is the New Year for most Moms, we start "a new", our kids start "a new", and the schedule is oh so NEW!  

It does not matter if you have little ones or college-age kids, this time of year brings out a feeling of anticipation, Fall is on the way and a busy schedule is something we need to jump in to, ready or not!  I truly love Fall, it is truly the time to harvest and grow.   

I crave this time of year because I crave getting back to my routine and having my kids on a routine.  We all do better, and this is where I thrive (yes, on a routine).   The lazy days of summer are so great, but admittedly, I enjoy it for the time that it is, but come late August, I am ready for my schedule, routine and inevitably that means taking care of myself on a daily basis.   One thing that I remind myself of every year is that September all of a sudden comes, and feels like A Tsunami—it takes weeks to truly adjust to the new routine, the switch from lazy days of summer to full-blown kids out the door by 7 am, yoga, work, driving kids, errands, house, homework, dinner and keeping stress at bay (hello yoga)!   While I love having my kids home during the summer, I do the happy dance when I see that big yellow bus (and these days it is seeing them go out to their cars), it is the most wonderful time of the year (truth)!  I love my time freedom when they are at school: I love owning my schedule, I love being able to go to yoga or go for a walk (my dogs love it too).  I love being a Mom Boss, I love to work, yes, I love setting my goals, sitting at my desk and charting out where I want to be by the end of the year.  I love even more helping women do the same.   
Here are some “hacks” I have used over the years to get myself “Back to” work/life and showing up in my life.  Over the years I have learned to put myself on this list, and that is where Living HIPP exists and was born.    So I guess you could call these hacks that help you show up and not lose your _____ while living your best yet busy life.    Interestingly enough, I was excited to kick off my schedule on Labor Day weekend, this week was going to be taking my schedule back and being on track—let’s just say that did not happen (so be prepared that ____ happens).  My daughter got an awful stomach bug at college, we had to bring her home for 2 days as she was dehydrated and weak, then my husband got it (he went down hard), and now my son is feeling something coming on and he is home sick today.  Ummm, this was not part of the plan, so tip #1, expect the unexpected!  No yoga, no schedule, no kicking ass this week (as of today) for me—I have gone into Rambo mode (my husband calls it Pambo), taking care of everyone, disinfecting our house, and praying I don’t get this.  So, be okay when all is not okay, because this too shall pass!

Here are your “Back to Life/Work” Hacks:
—Wake up 30 minutes earlier for “me time”: reading, affirmations, meditation, exercise. I LOVE time in the morning, my Magical Mornings! 
—Make Your Bed (I’ve gotta work on this one) but when I do, it just makes everything better (thank you, Admiral McRaven)
—Plan Your Day out.  I do weekly planning on Sunday, and then in the morning each day, I review my game plan and agenda.  A calendar is key!
—Practice Gratitude: this helps build a HIPP life, it shifts your mindset and attitude. Write 5 things in the am and 5 things at night that you are grateful for. 
—Do Yoga, or meditate at some point during the day.  It centers you, calms you and helps you live in the present in a peaceful way.  Breathe!
—Walk every single day in nature (just a 15-minute walk outdoors can clear the mind and lift the spirit).  Movement is key!
—Feed Your Body well.  Oh man, this is what I need to embrace, I am still in summer mode, it’s cupcakes or Kale.  Kale, choose the Kale!
—Set Goals:  What are your business goals?  What are your personal goals?  What daily action will you take to get there?  Write these down & do them!
—Create places and spaces that inspire you and make you feel good.  This may take you all season but do a little bit each day.
—Declutter Your space.  One space and one room at a time.  Donate things that you no longer use.  This will open up space in your heart & mind.
—Choose joy (happy) each day.  Revisit this throughout the day.  Look for the best in yourself and those around you.
—Be Kind.  Really, be kind to others that can do nothing in return for you.  The world needs this more than ever.  So do you!
—Drink Water like a warrior.  Hydrating your body will prevent you from slowing down.  Plus, it helps your skin glow.  Drink Up!
—Get off that hamster wheel!  I know, we all do it.  Live each day with intention, purpose, joy: it will literally change your experience. 
—Get into momentum.  Momentum in your work or business (do 5 things today to move toward your goals).  Be in it to win it!
—Let go.  Let go of the people or things that are not serving you.  You know what they are, just do it!
—Make that list.  Put things on the list that only have to be done (kids/home/family) or work.  Get things on the list, get them off the list
—Self Care: this is so important and is the difference-maker.  Carve in time each day to fill your mind/body/spirit with caring thoughts & action.  

This is your season, your season to shine!  Get “back to” who you are, what you desire and your true authentic self.  Living HIPP is your platform to do just that.  Stick around here this Fall as we navigate through the amazing opportunities and yes challenges of life.  You’ve got one beautiful life, let’s make it count, come back to yourself, be at home with yourself and create places and spaces that feel good & inspire you do be, do and have more!

Lets Go Sister, this is our season, our new year, our time to do amazing things in the world.  
XO