This weekend we will be celebrating Charlie’s birthday, and it seems fitting to tell you about this incredibly special guy. I can remember when we first started dating, EVERYONE told me “you got a good one”—and what that meant to me, was the full package: handsome, kind, fun, sweet, sincere, smart, and driven. He was all of those things and more.

There is a feeling in the air, one which brings me back to my childhood on Moncrief Road in Rockland—the anticipation of Halloween, the parties, the candy and behind all the sugar is something really sweet, the time of year, the chill in the air, the leaves falling and Halloween sky—it’s a feeling of home.

I listened to a podcast this week, and the topic was Leadership and how humility is an important part of Leadership—I have been pondering on this for a few days because I believe there are so many facets to this leadership principle.

Watching my father in law over the past two decades with his dogs truly has confirmed for me that a dog is man’s best friend. One of their neighbors years ago said, “if I come back in another lifetime, I want to come back as a Guyer Dog.”

There is this undeniable feeling that stirs within us when Fall arrives—while in September we are letting go "oh so slowly" of Summer, we anticipate new beginnings and for many of us, a fuller calendar and cadence to life. When October arrives, it is then when we truly are ready to indulge in the season, it’s beauty, it’s bounty and this special time of the year.

I am finally writing a post about my Cameron going off to college, my middle child, my oldest boy “big boy” and this beautiful human that has challenged me, touched me, taught me and makes my heart burst with love. When I had 3 babies in 3 years, my Mom talked about the positive, how much I will love it as they grow and are into the same things (same stage of life)—she said it would get easier. She was right, I loved having our Guyer 5, the stages were full, chaotic, but also so magical (in the mess). What Mom did not share is that the stages of them leaving the next would be fast and furious—Kaili last year, and Cam this year, I’m ready, but I’m not.

Last night on my way home from a Yoga class, it hit me once again (and it clearly became evident the feelings I have been trying to avoid, even though it truly is all good). My oldest son, my Cameron will be going off to college this Fall, we just went through this with Kaili, and now Cameron, I am feeling it deep, and am covering it up on the surface.

On the early morning of September 11th, 1993, my world came crashing down. I heard a door swing (crash open) and heard “Call 911, it’s George”! Awoken from my sleep, my Mom and I both picked up the phone, frantic and not knowing the situation, but with a history of heart disease, I lived my entire life in fear of this very moment.

My Dad suffered a major heart attack that morning, which was 25 years after his first major heart attack (age 29) where he they was not expected to survive. He did, and when we lost him, our comforting thoughts and my Mother reminded us, that were blessed to have him an extra 25 years, she was there 25 years before, when his last rights were read in the hospital.