My Guy

I blog about life, about family, about my kids, about being a mom boss, living HIPP and all things that hit the heart, home and humor of this magical thing we call life. I don’t go in to my marriage, my guy, my life partner, my best friend as much, I guess because he is even more private than me, and also, the past few years have been a challenge for both of us. We have both launched new businesses, experienced the loss of our moms, and are navigating the world our baby birds leaving the nest—those things are enough, never mind working on ourselves and our marriage. I have had such confidence in our marriage, our relationship, our family and our home—and I attribute much of that to Charlie, he is the rock, and the person I can count on most in my life.

This weekend we will be celebrating Charlie’s birthday, and it seems fitting to tell you about this incredibly special guy. I can remember when we first started dating, EVERYONE told me “you got a good one”—and what that meant to me, was the full package: handsome, kind, fun, sweet, sincere, smart, and driven. He was all of those things and more.

Let me tell you about Charlie in all his roles in life, be it my opinion, observation or what others have said. He is that guy that you can only hope and pray your daughter will marry some day.

Son: Let's start here because this is where it all started. The self-proclaimed nerds (his parents), have such wonderful stories of Charlie, their “jock” son, and how he brought a whole new element into their home. Popular, handsome and an athlete, Charlie changed the trajectory of Guyer’s, all the while, being influenced by his parents in such a positive way. Easy going, funny and active, they adored him throughout childhood and developed such close friendships as an adult. Charlie is an amazing son, seeing him care for his mom at thee end of her life, and now care for his Dad by always being there truly is an example of who he is, loyalty, love and laughter help remedy the loneliness in his Dad’s life.

Brother: I can’t write this for my sister in law, but I can say that he and his sister have a special bond, and they have stepped up as a cohesive team to care for their parents. What strikes me most is how they navigate through all of the difficulty with such humor, it is brilliant and beautiful—they hold each others stories, memories and humor—it is really special. Likewise as a brother in law, I can speak for the Mellor 5 (okay the other 4) that they all love Charlie, as did my Mom who called him her “Charliekins”! I wish my Dad got to know him, he would have loved him, I can only believe that he knows him deeply, and Charlie has learned so much about my Dad from me, that he has often quoted him or spoke to him.

Friend: I marvel at Charlie’s ability to build friendships and how relationships are such an important part of who he is. No matter his stage in life, he has a cohort of life long friends—while they don’t always see each other, the love and loyalty is there, and every circle and stage in life, has friendships that develop and most remain in his life. I used to joke about the show “everyone loves Raymond” as I felt like we had our own episode: “everyone loves Charlie”—it is true, he is a magnet of people of all ages, and I always say if they don’t like him, there is something wrong with them (truth)!

Husband: Yes, I hit the jackpot—never in my life, have I been so loved, respected, cared for and adored in a relationship as I have with Charlie. He is patient, kind, compassionate, and does everything he can to support me. Most importantly, he makes me laugh, and we get each others humor through and through, that makes our marriage work.

He is more laid back than me, so as you can imagine, that can be a challenge, and often we joke about that. We are one team and we have each others back, even thou we might argue, get annoyed and all those emotions we all experience in a relationship, I think what we do most is laugh, we get each other, we have the same humor and we created 3 amazing human beings that have our humor too. I often say “what is wrong with us”—meaning we think, laugh and say the most awful things sometimes (all in good humor, and all so very funny)! I love his voice, and there are times when he says “Pammy” that I still melt, and I will forever cherish how he also calls me “Mellor” (my maiden name), and uses it as a noun, verb and way of life. No one knows me better than him!

Father: Out of all of his roles in life, I think this one is by far his best, which is a big compliment because he nails it in every way—Charlie is the best Dad. From day one, he has been fully involved in the kids’ lives, he is a family man and would rather be home with his family than out on the town at night. He is a teddy bear, and when you see him with babies, and with my babies, you just want to melt. He has coached all youth sports, been on various boards in our community and has been such a positive influence on many kids, including our own. Charlie is an encourager, a teacher, a big kid himself, he champions everyone around him, especially kids. At home, he jumps right in and shares the duty of running the house, and raising the kids, and it truly has been a partnership all these years (ain’t no 50’s model here, Pammy don’t do that)! I give him all the credit when it comes to school projects, he embraced most of it, and he patiently sat at the kitchen island working on them with the kids. Now with adult children, I can assure you his relationships grow as they do, “good time Charlie” continues to have laughs and fun with the kids, and quite honestly, I love that about him and our Guyer 5 way of life. With the kids in college, there are times my Charlie thinks he is still in college too, so what, that is what keeps him young!

Another role in his life is his professional one, I just want to brag on him for a moment, because he is such an unsung hero in that regard too. What I know about my husband is that he is fierce, over the years if there has been a lay off, job change or challenge, he has taken it on steadfast and has come out on top each and every time. He has excelled at his career in PR/technology combining all of the attributes—hard work, driven, relationship builder, creative, smart, innovative and committed. He is very good at what he does and well respected in his space. A few years ago, he decided to launch his business Guyer Group, a small PR consultancy firm—whereby he leveraged everything he as worked on for the past almost 3 decades, the relationships in business were key drivers to the success of his firm. Admittedly, he works his “head off”, and between his business and caring for his parents (and our family), he is working so hard every single day. Finally, after years of me being a Mom Boss, I have been able to flex my schedule to accommodate his crazy schedule, and just be home with the kids and managing things on this front (which has been important to my mental health). We make a great team, and at this stage in my life, I am working on “being” rather than what I did for decades “doing”, and I am blessed I am able to focus on that and our family. Thank you Guyer Group and Beautycounter, finding my own cadence as I grow in my 50’s.

You’re a Good Man Charlie Guyer!
A look back at where we were and where we are today….
So there we were, a newly married couple, in our new home in Georgetown MA with a baby on the way, it was early November and we were celebrating your 30th B Day—a big party at the house with friends and family. To today, early November, two decades later (3 houses later too), we have 3 amazing kids, 2 in college, 2 cockapoos we adore, homes we have loved and are building our next one—life at the beach, our happy place.
It has not been easy, it is not all sunshine & rainbows, but it has been incredibly amazing, and we are blessed beyond measure. So I am taking time to pause, to write, to reflect and to share…. Wishing my amazing husband a wonderful 51st birthday, we have more grey hair and more importantly, we have an amazing, blessed family & life with so many more memories to be made. I love you, Charlie! XO