Trick or Treat

There is a feeling in the air, one which brings me back to my childhood on Moncrief Road in Rockland—the anticipation of Halloween, the parties, the candy and behind all the sugar is something really sweet, the time of year, the chill in the air, the leaves falling and Halloween sky—it’s a feeling of home.

Our first Halloween with Kaili, she was Scooby-Doo—Charlie brought her around our small neighborhood because we were excited to start this tradition and begin our family fun. Each year we added another pumpkin, it is all a blur—for years, our home was the gathering spot, and we would have fun for the adults and children, and the best part is the night ended early. As a Mom Boss, Oct. 31st was also month-end close, I can remember many times handing out candy while closing the month out—it was energetic, exciting and full of empowerment—literally dropping candy with one hand and my cell phone (or was it a cordless phone) in the other hand. Getting the kids to bed with their sugar highs, and going into my office to work with my team to reach our goals—pure magic!

As I scroll through Social Media—it is a reminder of this event, one which does have a timeline for children, I no longer have trick or treaters at home, so now I get to enjoy all the pictures--the princesses and super heroes that come to my home. I am reminded of the stages and ages during this finite time. The babies all cute and dressed warm and adorable, the same is true for the toddlers—I can remember mine (Cameron as a Dalmation at age 2, not understanding the concept of going to someone’s door to get candy, each time the door opened, he would walk in, to this day we laugh about that one, he was so adorable). The pre-schoolers still in character, as I write this I remember Colby at age 3 as Batman, he was “almost” potty trained and I sent him without a pull up—lets just say Batboy had some bat poop that day—I can still remember his teacher telling me (and me cringing that I did not send him in a pull up, he was doing so good)! Early elementary and the parades at school—Kaili was a princess of every variety each year, it was perfect with her personality and beauty, to this day she is our princess. And then the time comes when you are no longer dressing them up, they are choosing their own (without your input) and things go dark, or things go strange, and things scary and it goes from cute to scary in a nanosecond. Another thing happens too…. You have your tradition, you have them with you, you are trick or treating as a family, and just like that, they are then off on their own, one by one. The next season you are then driving them to a friends house because they outgrow the family tradition and want to be with their friends, it is the natural progression of how they grow, and we as parents just navigate through, and enjoy each phase. They will usually push the trick or treating an extra year, and let’s be clear, that is just for the candy. I am okay with that, as we know, this is it for them, and I can remember doing the same with my girlfriend my sophomore year, going to the next town overdressed up to load up on candy.

It then all of a sudden changes, no kids trick or treating and dressing up, they are home (unless it’s the weekend) and then they are off to college—I miss those days, but I am okay with where we are, lets be honest, I miss the thousand dollar bars, and going through their stash!

The next stage is sending care packages with Halloween treats off to college, doing what my mom did for me when I was in college. They laugh at me, but I know how much they love it and for a split second or two, they feel like a kid again.

It all goes by so fast, I just keep thinking that, sharing that and seeing that. Those early years were so chaotic, I wish I could go back to that 30 something-year-old mom and say “be present, breathe and take this all in”. As Moms we are always multi-tasking, always racing, and trying to be everything to everyone—the hustle while important, is over-rated-- the best advice I can give: rest and be present. This over 50 mom knows all too well, time is our greatest commodity (in addition to health) and the race, be it in business, activities and all that is pushed on us is just not what matters in the end and over time. While important, so is rest and so is being present, I have learned that it is more important than the hustle and more enjoyable too!

As we begin the season of holidays, happenings and chaos, I hope those of you that are Moms, Mom Bossing, really take the time to be present, be connected, and know that the work will get done, the housework, the work work, the list of things to do. Trick or Treat, I say both, it is tricky, but all these moments are treats when we can really lean into them and just be. XO