Good Night Moon!

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Last night on my way home from a Yoga class, it hit me once again (and it clearly became evident the feelings I have been trying to avoid, even though it truly is all good). My oldest son, my Cameron will be going off to college this Fall, we just went through this with Kaili, and now Cameron, I am feeling it deep, and am covering it up on the surface. I typically go to yoga during the day, but last night attended a Yoga Nidra class, which is meditative in nature, more healing and so good to balance out the typical hot power yoga that I practice. I left the class feeling grateful I attended, calm in nature and curious about my healing (why do I need healing when I am truly so blessed)—I don’t have the answer, but what my gut tells me is that we all have healing to do and those of us that are empaths, our hearts and bodies simply absorb more (the good, the bad and the ugly).

On my drive home, I was looking at the beautiful moon in the sky, my goodness, it was absolutely beautiful. There is a section of farm land, and with the moon lighting it up, it was something only God could create. As I looked at the moon, I was reminded of my Son Cameron, as a baby and toddler, he was so curious, he loved the moon, and looking out the window in awe of the Moon, Sun, Snow and Tree’s—most kids are, but he found such delight in this. I can still hear his sweet baby voice “Mooooon”, and his tender sweet hand and finger pointing at it. We had a routine every night, after story time, I would go to each window to pull the shade down and we would say “Good night Moon” and yes, the book was one of our favorites at that time. Those sweet memories warmed my heart as I drove, watching the moon, thinking about how time has passed, my Cameron is now a man, full grown: handsome, fresh, funny, sweet, caring, messy, curious but also cool. That bald little head, grew into sweet hair, that then became a “page boy” hair cut, that then became hair he would cut while mom was out (scissors, hair & kids don’t mix well), then a whiffle, then straight and curly and short and long. Today, it is that hair that bunches out under a ball cap, with hairy legs and arms and the sweet bedroom is now wrappers, dirty clothes and Boston sports teams abound.

The Moon.

The Moon is there every night and on some nights lighting up the skies. While we are changing, growing and going through the stages of life, the Moon is still there, and is that steadfast miracle that lights up the sky, working in tandem with the Sun (or Mr. Sun as we so happily referred to it in the toddler years). It occurred to me, and the Moon shined it’s light on, the emotions stirring inside of me. My Cameron is growing up and my Cameron will be off next year to college, just like his sister. I then pictured calling him at school and asking him if he can see the moon, I often joke with him about his infatuation about the Moon, and how much I love his curious mind as a toddler, and that sweet (and hard) time in our lives. We would sing “I see the Moon and the Moon see’s me” and I am certain his older sister tried to steal the show with her Shirley Temple way as a 3 year old. Cam was more quiet, more reserved, but let his needs be known with demands and maybe a tantrum. When those happened after dark, we would distract and find the moon, it soothed him, it soothed me, and all was well in the world.

While it was “many moons ago”, it was just yesterday. The mundane nights, good night moon, I am reminded once again that the small moments and the ordinary days truly are the extraordinary times and the moments that really matter.

Good Night Moon. Good Night Cameron. Good Night to this precious time in our lives, but it is not good bye, we are in it now and I am going to embrace it all. When the sun goes down, the Moon is always there, shining in it’s glory or hidden behind the clouds—an example of life and all it’s glory and the evolution of time and life.

Good Night Moon.

Pam Guyer