The Truth about Marriage!

Today, we celebrate our Wedding Anniversary and 19 years of marriage.  This year especially is hard, because tomorrow will mark one year since my Mom’s passing—I swear she waited a day so that we would not share our anniversary with her passing.  This week is an example of how life is, many celebrations but also reminders of how vulnerable we are, how precious life is and how we need to Warrior On.  As a bride I had so much hope, so much wonder and so much excitement about the future ahead of us.  

As we celebrate 19 years, I reflect on our Marriage and how life has changed in these past two decades.  Our daughter came home from the hospital on our first wedding anniversary, and then within the 3 years following we had 3 babies, 3 and under.  Our first decade was full of homes, babies, businesses and the busy-ness that comes with all of that.  Our first 17 years were magical in many ways, while some days or moments were hard, we had so much fun, we grew our life, our family and had heart & humor at the center of it all.  We have had our moments or our disagreements but have always stayed on the same page (in the big picture).  The past 2 years have been HARD.   We have had too many changes, and also have experienced loss, and family health issues, and have had our share of bumps in the road.  So I suppose marriage is not always bliss, while it is magical, and amazing to have a life partner, it is also hard, marriage is hard and humor and love are the two things that help us get through the difficult times.

Our kids are the center of our universe, and while we try to put our relationship first, it does not always work that way.  The truth is, we love our kids more than life itself.  The joy that we share and the love that we share for our kids, is incredible, and something we value and cherish deeply. The past few years have been hard (we never got the 7 year itch, we got the 17 year itch), and life has thrown us many curve balls, and we are just taking it, and being there for each other, and putting our family first.  Humor helps us through the difficult times.  Humor reminds us both how much we love each other and how good we are together.   Looking at the entire 19 years, we have had a blast, I mean it, an absolute blast!  We have had so many laughs, so many important moments shared, we have been touched deeply by others (mostly our children) and feel incredibly blessed by our life.

I write this post sharing some truth because I believe people need to hear it.  I believe people need to hear that while we are a great couple and have a blessed life, we have our own struggles and marriage is not always bliss, it is so friggen hard some days.  Anything worth having in life will be hard at times, we will be tested at times, and this is truly what marriage is about.   We love home, we love family and we value our marriage and our life together.  It is that core, those values and this way of being that keeps us strong when we are challenged and life is hitting us hard, or harder than we would like.

The truth about marriage is that it is hard.  It is the most amazing thing to share a life with someone you love.  It is amazing to have someone that has your back, believes in you, loves you unconditionally—because when things get hard, you have the solid foundation to stand on (and lean on).  

Today I celebrate 19 years of marriage with my best friend, my rock, and for my family, our everything.  I hope my daughter marries a man like my husband, and I hope my sons, grow up to be like their Dad.


Pam Guyer