Haters Gonna Hate.


There are so very many kind people in the world. I am grateful for all the kind, positive, loving people that surround me.  I feel love and I love very deeply.

I also am reminded occasionally that there are haters in the world. I see them online. I see them in politics. I SEE them and I SEE right through them.

I am convinced a few have come to me to teach me something so that I can teach you something. Let me share more….

At the end of 2016 I received Hate Mail.  Yes.  Hate Mail.  

While I will not share details of the letter, I will share that someone had a lot of hate in their heart and it was directed at me.  

I was told by the author of this letter to not share it with anyone—and "don’t you dare go running to your bitches.”   One thing I know is that a classy person wrote this letter—a real class act.   I was referred to as a “bitch," “disgusting" and “arrogant" (yes, all of those words were used). The letter also included other disparaging commentary but I am not going to publish the letter, as it reflects poorly on more than the author.  As my mother raised me to do, I will act with grace, hold my head high and rather than let this letter get me down, I will stand up and use it as a platform for change, as a platform to use my voice.  I expect more from women, I really do, and when I see this sort of thing, and am the recipient of it, I can complain, weep & feel attacked, or I can take action and do something about it.  I choose courage & action, not fear & silence.  

So, lets break a few things down here….  
Disgusting:   Well, I have never been described that way, nor will I accept that or take that to heart.  I have to say that the letter and the act of sending it anonymously to me was purely hateful and this behavior and act of hatred is truly what is disgusting.  
Arrogant:  Well, this person does not know me very well.  Confident, yes, thank God I am a confident woman who knows her worth, her heart, and her desire to love and to be loved.  I love my life, I love my family, I love myself, and I love my people.  Thank God I am confident because that confidence is what carries me when my self esteem is not as high or as strong as I need it to be at times.  

Dearest hate writer.  Did you know that while I am confident, I too struggle, like you (and every woman on this planet) to know I am enough? You were hard on me, but did you know I am even harder on myself and that is something I am working on?   I live my life daily, trying to do good, trying my best to be good to others, to be vulnerable, and also to respect the gifts God has given me and to share them (because I can point out enough flaws).  

I fall down, I mess up, I am far from perfect. But one thing I do know is that I am caring. I genuinely care about others and I am passionate about being kind to others, even in the face of adversity.  I am passionate about how we (people) treat each other.  

I can say with certainty a few things I know about the person who wrote it.  They are mean spirited and hateful, clearly, someone I don’t want to be associated with in any way.  They are not my brand and will never be my brand—it and they are the opposite of me and I don’t want to do life, business, or anything with this person.   

They are a coward and a bully, sending the letter anonymously and also threatening me if I speak up—such a cowardly act and such a bully!   It is ironic as bullying and mean girl behavior is something I am passionately against and want to stand up and do more about.  Thank you sender, I believe this is a sign for me to stand up and speak out.  Sorry sister, but you messed with the wrong girl—it is not okay what you did and it is not okay that this sort of behavior happens.  It may appear to be an obstacle, and it was so hateful with an attempt to be hurtful, but I see opportunity, thank you.

Fortunately, I was and am able to put this in perspective.  Thank God that is not me.  Thank God I am not the girl sending hate mail.  Thank God I love myself, life, and others.   While there are people in the world I don’t like, I don’t hate anyone and I wish no one ill.  

The one thing that bothered me and really made me ask why and how someone could be so cruel is that it came during a difficult time.  The person that sent this knows me, knows my life, and knows that I lost my mom and that 2016 was a tough year for me.  It really bothers me that they could kick me while I was down. Did it really bring them satisfaction and joy to send such words of hate, such words for me to read, while I have been fighting depression (mostly grief)? I really was speechless and at a lost for words on how someone could be so cruel, another woman, another mom.  

I am fiercely loyal and the way I view this is that they were mean to my mom’s baby girl, and they were mean and hateful to Kaili’s mother, to Cameron’s mother and to Colby’s mother.  Oh no you don’t sister, you have messed with the wrong girl.  I am taking your hate and I am going to turn it around, not for you, but for me, my family, and my desire to create more kindness and happiness in the world. I am taking the stones you threw at me (boulders) and build something beautiful out of it.  

So, to my readers and my HIPP audience….  Please do me this favor.  I want to start a LOVE revolution and turn this hate mail into a love letter revolution. Would you please do me this favor—would you please send a love letter, note, e-mail, or text or public post to someone in your life (friend or foe)? Would you please help me turn this into a positive situation?  You see, my mom’s advice (after she called this girl a few words) would be to ignore her and look at the positive (she would also tell me to have pity on her).   So, lets turn this around, will you help me in doing that?  Write a love letter to someone and/or better yet, write a love letter to yourself.  

While it is not ordinary to get hate mail, I guess when you stand out, stand up, and dare to shine, you are going to have haters.

I believe with all my heart that LOVE is so much stronger and LOVE WINS.  Let's spread some more LOVE in the world, one person at a time.  Write your letter, or post on someone's FB page, or send a text, whatever you do, just share love.  My mom taught me not only to be kind, to be good to others, but also to look at the positive.  My dad taught me not to back down and not to take anyone’s _____.   I am taking both of these lessons and standing up for me, standing up for them, for my family and for you!  XO

Pam Guyer