Beauty & Elegance

Elegant is she who sees the beauty in others.  

“Elegance comes from being as beautiful inside as outside.” 
― Coco Chanel

Admittedly, for most of my days of being a Mom, I don’t know what I am doing but I do know how I am feeling….

Well, let me take that back.  I know what I am doing when it comes to the important things, but it is a journey, each stage in their lives, and learning how to love, lead, learn, and let go.   The emotions are high, strong and oh so vulnerable and full.  

I can’t tell you how many mistakes I have made and I will continue to make.  Balancing a business, motherhood, growing as a woman myself, and raising kids is not easy.  As much as we attempt to do it all, each and every Mom knows the work that goes into it.  Some days are long and mundane, some are insane, some are overwhelming and some are pure joy and magical.  

I am on the other side.  I have not arrived but I am on the other side.  The other side of this is the strong desire to raise a girl that is confident, kind, responsible, lovely, strong, and exercises beauty from the inside out.   While we have not arrived, I can see it all happening, I can see her light shine and it is that same light she has had since day one.  Beauty is an inside job, it all begins in the heart.  

That fine balance of a girl (or shall I say young woman) that will be kind but also stand up for herself and others.  As I watched my daughter stand (and pose) for Prom, I could not be more proud of the woman she is becoming.  As her Mom, of course I think she is beautiful on the outside, but what really takes my breath away is her inner beauty.  She really is that girl.  When she is not rushing out the door, or on her phone, or with her friends or at dance—she asks for hugs, she jumps on my bed and we talk, we laugh, we connect, we bond.  While in my professional life, I inspire others, and hold that honor sacred, I teach leadership, I teach life mastery, and I practice these things each day—being a mom is more visceral, vulnerable and is my most important work here on Earth.    

My mom was my teacher, and now I am hers….   
She hears me preach more than she wants to.  She hears these lessons she does not want to hear, all thrown in to the chaos of every day life at our home.  I pray she hears, I pray she knows, I pray she always believes in herself, her worthiness, her ability, her heart, her mind.  Today, I look at her and say, we’ve done good. This is not just me, it is my husband, it is the community that surrounds her, and it is her (and in all things it is God).  She is divine.  She is grace.  She is what is lovely.  She is my baby girl who is in this incredible evolution of womanhood.   I sit back in wonder, how did we get here, and how did it happen?  I am in this vortex of holding on and letting go….  Is she ready?  

So for those of you reading with younger girls, and want them to grow up to be beautiful human beings that a strong, independent, confident, kind….
I don’t have all the answers, I don’t know what I am doing all the time and I make mistakes…. but this is what I know for sure….
Don’t raise the best, don’t look to be #1 in everything, don’t get so caught up in doing it all, that you suffer the consequences in the next generation.

Teach kindness.  Be Humble. Fall down.  Hug them every day.  Make Time.  Forgive Yourself for not being there at all times.  Surround Yourself with Good People.  Put Family First.  Lean on God.  Laugh.  Follow Your Heart.  Embrace Your Humor.  Let it be.  

Ask the question, “will this matter in 10 years”, ask it again….   Teach empathy, compassion, love, grace, and exercise those things as much as you can.   

I made some really good decisions and I have messed up daily.  I have felt mom guilt, and have had moments that I did not think I was doing it right or good enough.  I am here to tell you that it does not matter, what matters is love, just love them with all your heart (which is one thing I did), and when they know this, and feel this, they capture it inside.    

Another milestone and another opportunity to see my girl, and to see Gods work, and to see love and her community (family, teachers, friends, parents, care givers) all shine through as part of her cloth.  This fabric all threaded together with different touch points, sewn together so beautifully.    
Raise them Up.  The dress, hair, make up & style will only carry them so far, it is the inner beauty that radiates and truly defines their beauty.

A girl should be two things, classy & fabulous!   It is she that sees the beauty in others that truly shines herself.  Stunning, grace, beauty, elegance are all simple measures of the heart.  And this girl right here has stolen mine, and will always have it captured.  

Pam Guyer