50 at 50!

This summer I turn 50, how on God's earth can I be turning 50?  

I feel 29.  I look at life like I have years and years ahead of me, it is crazy to think I will be 50.  My spirit is so young, feisty, full and is embracing this birthday with abandon.  I am going to be 50 and I am going to own being 50, even though I really can't believe it, don't feel it, and feel so young, HIPP & vibrant (most days).  To me, this is not about growing old, it is about growing wiser.  

It is about being empowered to embrace my life, my story, my time and standing in that power and owning it.  It also is about being an example.  I am living midlife, and I sure as hell am not done, for I am only beginning.  I believe my best days are ahead of me, and my purpose will be realized and shared in the decade ahead.  

I worked my butt off through my 20's, working hard and playing hard, working my way out of debt, working up the corporate ladder, saving enough money for a sizable down payment for our first home, and leaving the scene of boys, relationships gone bad, and the challenges that single women face.  In my 30's I get married, finally earn my Master's and begin a family.  Three babies in three years and a launch of a business in direct sales--it was a blur to some degree.  

In my 30's, I continued my pattern of work hard, play hard, but now with the emphasis on family. This decade took me out of balance and caring.  While I cared for my family, home, business, and team, I did not take care of me.   Due to the weight of trying to do it all, and be there in business and for my family, I soothed with food, and at the most successful time in my business, I was at my highest weight, and not feeling great about myself.  In my 40's, I took my life back.  Finally taking time for me, I realized my "all or none" approach was taking its toll on me.  I slowly began to exercise more, pay attention more to what I was eating and also how I was thinking.  

At 44, I discovered yoga and that changed everything for me.  For the first time in my life I made my self-care a priority in my life.  Yoga became my daily practice, and I became more mindful in every area of my life.  The layers began to peel off, leading me to self-discovery like never before.

I began to heal old wounds, accept the vulnerable parts of me, look at my relationship with food & alcohol and how I used them to take the edge off and numb my feelings.   Yoga became my drug of choice and it opened my heart to living authentically, following my heart and not the path of others.  

I would love to say that I am in the best place of my life, but I would be lying.   While the past six years of living yoga, and mindfully, this past year has had it's challenges with an injury and also most recently the illnesses of my mom and mother-in-law.  It has thrown me off course, and I am simply trying to practice grace as my heart hurts and as my anxiety is heightened.  Some days I rise, and other days I crumble.  But every day I move forward.  I do, however, look forward to the next decade, to my 50's, as I want to shine and live life full out.  I have decided to come up with a list of 50 at 50.  These are 50 things I would like to achieve in my 50's (notice it is not 50 by 50 because that would just stress me out and not be reasonable).  Some are big goals, others are the simple things and/or just ways of being.  

50 at 50's list:

1.  Best shape of my life

2.  Family trip to Italy

3.  Write & publish 2+ more books

4.  Gratitude journal 365 days

5.  365 days alcohol free

6.  Drink more water

7.  Meet Oprah, be under the trees in Santa Barbara with her

8.  Create non profit 

9.  Launch & sell national lifestyle brand 

10. Yoga Certification 

11. Host TV/Web show

12. Speak at MA women's conference 

13. Attend a retreat each quarter

14. Host two retreats a year

15. Advocate on behalf of Beautycounter in DC

16. Influence Culture at BC, partner with field and home office

17. Solid meditation practice

18. Daily walks with the dogs

19. Family dinners, time for family 

20. Daily video on inspiration & motivation

21. Impact on bullying, co-produce song that includes many artists

22. Beach or ocean every day

23. Purchase a beach/ocean front property

24. Purchase a new boat for Charlie

25. Customize every closet

26. Renovate kitchen

27. Hire a personal chef for a few meals each week

28. Fashion makeover

29. Speak at colleges (women self-care and empowerment)

30. Weekly date night 

31. Visit my girls in South Africa

32. Speak at Oprah's school in SA

33. Family trip to DC

34. Family trip to Grand Canyon & West Coast

35. Family trip to Ireland, England, & Germany

36. Sail BVI with family

37. Canyon Ranch (me)

38. Kripalu 2+ times a year

39. Pearl in Laguna 

40. Blog & Vlog Exposure

41. NYC with Kaili

42. Treat sisters to spa weekend

43. Pamper five women each month

44. Run a half marathon

45. Family hikes 

46. Speak on Oprah's stage

47. Learn, spending mornings in discovery mode

48. Create a tea ritual

49. Multiple brand ambassador 

50. Practice love every single day

Now it's your turn.  

What number is your next birthday number, and what are the things you want to do at that age or that decade.  Write your list and let it inspire you as you cast a vision for your life, how you want to be, what you want to do, and what you want to have.  You are the author of your beautiful story and it is still unwritten!  XO

Pam Guyer