I AM….
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The power of “I AM” can transform your life, your day and your moment.

I AM, and what comes after it can empower you or deflate you. Choose your words wisely and decide to make them power statements.
I love "I AM" statements, because they are our opportunity to decide, to declare and to own our space, ourselves, and our power in the world.

They are our truth, they are our statements that allow us to be brave, bold, and badass—even when we are feeling vulnerable and afraid.
We need to speak life into ourselves so that we may speak life into others. I find myself doing this and then also not doing this, and saying things to myself that are not filling me up, they are bringing me down. Do you do the same?

If you find yourself in that space of not thinking this way, and you have the need to feel more empowered, centered, and positive, begin with I Am statements. Make them true to you, who you are, what you want and perhaps what you need.

My “I Am” Statements:

—I Am Strong
—I Am Present
—I Am Light
—I Am Healthy
—I Am Peaceful
—I Am Joyful
—I Am Confident
—I Am Powerful
—I Am Happy
—I Am a Warrior
—I Am Productive
—I Am Passionate
—I Am Positive
—I Am Spiritual
—I Am Dynamic
—I Am Love

Create your list of I Am’s statements that will empower you to own it. What are you putting next to I AM and is it working for you or against you?
Lets change that today, lets speak life into ourselves so that we may speak life into others. We have one life, and many opportunities to make it great. Lets begin with I Am….

XO

Pam Guyer
The Power of the Ponytail
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The Power of the Ponytail is one of my expressions around girl power and being who we are.
I love the power of the pony, and how to use our girl power as our super power.
I love being a girl, I love girlie things, and I love the power that my ponytail brings to me.

I think it is okay to want to be pretty, and you can be that and powerful. We want to teach girls to be boys, but why not let it be okay to be pretty, and to celebrate the girl in you, if you like what it stands for. I think being yourself is the most awesome thing you can do, be authentic to who you are. Boyish, awesome, Girlish, so very awesome—why are we trying to dull down what makes some of us sparkle & shine?

The power of the pony, exactly what is it?
I love to throw a ponytail in my hair and get shit done.
I love a messy bun and yoga pants on the daily.
I love to wear my hair in a pony tail, and be on stage empowering others.
I love to wear a ponytail when I wash my face at the end of the day.
I love to wear a ponytail with a baseball cap. A little boy and a whole lot of girl!
I love how a ponytail takes a girl to a woman.
I love how a ponytail can be a power move professionally. Screw the corporate hair image...
I love how a ponytail can be a sweet hair style on a warm summer day.
I love how a ponytail is our power play and our girlhood to womanhood.
I love how a ponytail shows our face, and does not hide the fact we are girls, women and oh so feminine.

The power of the pony is a metaphor for the power we hold as women and girls.
It’s a "you go girl" spirit.
It’s a beautiful advantage that we take for granted.
It is our statement on being a girl, being a woman and celebrating that.

The power of the pony is the power of she. It can be neat, it can be messy and by all means it should be both!
We are not fragile, we are strong, capable, smart, passionate and pretty. Pretty powerful, with the pony or not….

XO

Pam Guyer
Step into Your Greatness 

Believe!  This topic is coming up a lot in my life, between parenting, my relationships and my own experience in life.  

I have reminded my kids over and over that you have to believe in more, you have to imagine, and you have to have faith.  Dream Big and go for it!

At times, things in life might feel impossible or based on “reality”, you might need to accept the situation.  However, if I lived my life that way, it would look a lot differently.  My story is one in which I followed my heart, I dared to dream, I cast a vision and I did the hard work to reach all of these milestones and trajectories—it changed my life.  I find myself currently in a place of resistance, and I can feel it all over me.  Your gut and your feelings (even when things seem to be impossible), truly know the path for you, we just need to be brave enough to step into our greatness, to step forward and have the courage to believe in more, and be willing to leave our mark, not for ourselves, but for helping others.  

Here is some advice that is proven, it worked for me, and it can work for you.  

1.  Try.  You never will get to where you want to be unless you try.  You’ve got to take action.  

2.  Invite Yourself.  Don’t wait for someone to say “you should be this, earn this or go here”. You’ve got to see it for yourself, even if it seems impossible.

3.  Decide.  What ever it is that you want or desire, decide to go after it, no one ever achieves anything, without making the decision to go for it.

4.  Believe.  While facts and figures may not agree, your belief is more important and this spiritual shift and energy will manifest your desires.  

5.  Put Your Blinders On.  Stop paying attention to nay sayers, doubters, and conservative views, you’ve got to take risks and be willing to fail.  

6.  Ask.  You’ve got to ask for what you want, only those that ask, and take action will achieve their dreams.  

7.  Fail.  You’ve got to fall down, you’ve got to make mistakes and be willing to be different, and brave enough to fall.  It strengthens you.  

8.  Work Hard.  In any endeavor or stretch, hard work can diminish fear, and hard work will make you stand out and achieve.  

9.  Be Positive.  You move forward with a positive mindset, about yourself and those around you.  There is nothing to be gained by putting others down.

10. Just Do It.  Timing is never good, there are lots of reasons you should not, ignore those excuses and take action.  Just Do It!  

 

This is your call to action to step forward and into your Greatness what ever that means for you. You have one life, be brave enough to take a step forward and go after what it is you want, and in doing so, leave your mark, encourage others to do the same!  

XO

Pam Guyer
Let Them Judge You  
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There will be critics, and it is hard when people say things about you that are either not true, far too judgmental, misinformed and quite honestly mean spirited.  I have had my share of this over the years, it is hurtful, it is frustrating, but the truth of the matter is, there will always be critics. Let them judge you, let them spend their time this way, and let them go (it is about them, not you).  The truth is, there will always be critics, and there will always be people that want to bring you down, especially when you dare to be great, or when you shine, they will want to dull your light, your spirit.  Shine anyways, and don’t ever let the darkness of others stop you.  The fact is, they are not brave enough to be in the arena with you (Brene’ Brown), it is easier for them to put you down, than to rise to their own greatness (greatness is not just success, greatness is goodness, it is being a good person, it is sharing love in the world).  

While this is happening, know that there are people that are cheering you on, spend your time with these people that get you, are there for you, and are inspired by you.  God (or universe if that works better for you) is working on you.  He is preparing you, and believe in that, and have that faith and belief in your heart.  There is not one person that has achieved greatness that has not had critics and others trying to tear them down.  

I dream of a world where we do less of this.  I dream of a world where we put an end (or at the very least make drastic changes) and stop the bullies, mean girls, or negative behavior that is happening.  While we may not stop it, I believe we can do better.  The more we focus on this, and focus on building others up, I believe we can shift this and create more happy (kind) people. Where do we start?  Start with you.  Ignore what others say and do, and know that you are being guided, all you have to do, is see the best in yourself and others.  It is never about being perfect, it is about progress. 

Speak Life into Others.

Cheer others on.

Don’t Gossip (I know this is hard, but try and do it less).

Look for the best in others.  

Choose to be Inspired.

Be the Encourager.

Be Kind.

Serve others.  Help those around you.

Treat others the way you want to be treated.  

Ignore those around you that are not your champions or that are trying to bring you down.  Also, this is really important (and we all need to remember this daily), ignore that voice inside, you know that bitch, the one that gets on your case.  We all have her on our shoulder, and our job is to not listen to her as well.  Acknowledge her, but move on towards the feelings and thoughts that are positive and build you up.  

You are enough.  You are special.  You are smart.  You are kind.  Remember, you are God’s child and he made you for greatness.  God does not make junk, so don’t you dare even go there, rise up to who you are mean’t to be (perfectly imperfect).  

Your job is to honor that, live that way, and erase the words and images that say otherwise.  Be You.  

Do You.  

XO

Pam Guyer
Follow Your Gut

Your Gut.  Your Intuition.  Your Inner Wisdom.  Your Heart.  Your Soul.

This is the voice you need to listen to, it is the compass from which to follow.

For decades, we can get tripped up by Society, and what is going on all around us.  Suzie gets a new pair of shoes, or gets a job, or is going to a particular school, or vacations at a place…..   Sally all of a sudden, wants what Suzie has, or wants to create a better version, or her own unique experience, not necessarily because she is following her heart, because she is following Suzie’s lead, this my friends is Society and selling ourselves short of showing up as who we really are.  So not good and a big problem in our world today!  

Here are some ways for you to follow your gut, rather than be distracted by those around you:

—Get quiet every day.  Find peace and serenity and just sit still.

—Stop comparing yourself and your journey to others 

—Listen to the inner voice, whisper and be open enough to hear the messages.

—Don’t put boundaries on what is possible.  Your greatest aspirations are not the norm, they are bigger than you

—Be Open, Be Brave, Be Bold, you are going to have to go in rather than look outside of you.  Have the courage to do that.

—Simplify Your Life, you can’t get clear on things when clutter in your home, head or heart weight you down.

—Don’t compare yourself to others

—Surround Yourself with Positive People 

—Be genuinely happy for others.  What others do or achieve has nothing to do with you or your path.  Choose to be inspired by it.

—Peel off the Layers (yoga is the best way to do this) but if that is not for you, go to therapy or talk to someone to let go of things

—Journal, writing things down helps to define your words and path, draw, journal and create your ideas that exist in your heart

—Be brave enough to remove the people, things or activities that are not feeling right or fulfilling within.  Let it go.

Your gut is your best friend, it knows what is best for you, and will be there when you are ready and willing to listen.  That bitch knows what is best for you, just listen, and trust it and take action on it.

Now you just have to have the guts to listen to your gut!  XO

Pam Guyer
Laugh Lines

Mid life and what it presents can be a challenge, an opportunity or both.   

This is a time in your life where you really begin to get the importance of “it does not matter what other people think” and also to be yourself, and follow your own path, not the path of others.  It is also when you realize that hustle is important, but peace and joy are more important.   It is a time for some of us that are able to take a deep breathe and say “what the heck just happened”.  Meaning, life just went by so fast, yes we accomplished some things, yes, we had great memories, but when do things shift from “doing doing dong” to “being being being”?    It is up to us to determine that.  It is up to us to be bold enough, brave enough and wise enough to really understand it is not about what you achieve, it is about the joy you experience and the peace in your heart.   It really is about the small things.  

All of a sudden, you look up and see your laugh lines.

You criticize yourself at first (because we women are pretty damn good at that), and then you catch yourself, and you say, okay, this is me, and this is mid life, and these are my laugh lines.  This face has seen a lot over the years: birth, death, many homes bought, many homes sold, starting of businesses, ending of businesses, friendships gained, friendships lost, dreams imagined, dreams achieved, building big, deciding on small and less might actually be better.   Emotions of joy, pain, sadness, happiness, love, anger, peace and angst.  Many good days but some bad days, and a roller coaster ride that has gone fast, has not stopped and has gone up and down and around.  In all of it, the laugh lines were there as was the laughter.  In any moment, humor and the simplicity of laughter can really just bring us back to our true joy.  They say laughter is the best medicine and I could not agree more.  

Laugh More.

Love More.

Time is going to pass anyways, and before you know it you have your laugh lines, and the years of laughter and love show up.  Embrace the beauty in it, and most importantly, embrace the moment, be mindful of the time and try and embrace more “being” than “doing”.  If you have worked hard your entire life, perhaps it’s time to shift and not only work hard, but be present.  Peace is in the presence, it is the shift from doing to being.  It is making the choice between the Award or the Reward—the award is the title, recognition, level, accomplished tasks, and spiritually, it is the Ego.   The Reward is the empowerment and confidence that comes with being you, it leads to: contentment, present moment, character, and feelings of joy, peace & clarity.  Spiritually, it is the soul—the Soul is the invitation to true happiness, joy and laugh lines that match your destiny.  

Laugh. Live. Love.  XO

Pam Guyer
A Year Without My Mom

I write this post on the day you left this earth, the day we cried by your bedside telling you how amazing you are and how much we love you and are going to miss you. It was early morning, the birds were chirping outside your window the sun barely beginning to rise, and you were ready to let go of our hands, and join God and join Dad in Heaven. It was beautiful, it was difficult, it was sad, it was your moment, it was your time (God’s time).

A week prior to that you were not ready and you had said “this is happening too fast”, but you still would not give any attention to your Cancer, you would not give it the time of day until the very end when it finally took you away from us. You left just like you lived your life, you were brave, you were strong, you just “did it”, you made everyone around you feel loved, you were sweet, polite “yes please” and you finally let us take are of you. I still can’t believe it and it still does not seem real, there are so many moments I want to or I go to call you, and I remind myself you are in a different place and you are with us each day in every way.

I know everyone thinks their Mom is the best, but one thing we all know (all 5 Mellor kids) is that we did have the best Mom. We did not have much growing up, and we certainly had challenges with Dad’s health, but that never impacted your ability to be the most loving, kind, funny, creative woman and Mom. You literally made every single person in your presence feel better, with your cheerful spirit, big wide smile, hardy laugh and loving hugs.

Your grandchildren all adore you and miss you terribly, however, they all have the gift of Nanny, they will always live with your spirit, kindness and love for the rest of their days. All 5 Mellor kids, you would be so proud Mom, as we are all somehow putting one foot in front of the other and living our lives (with this huge loss in our hearts). We have a group text, and we reach out at least weekly to share a memory, a laugh, some love and encouragement. Being the youngest I am so grateful for older brothers and sisters as they have stepped in for you and Dad, and they are enjoying the milestones of my kids, and are not only aunts & uncles, they are like grandparents too to my babies. Family is everything, and you and Dad have created a legacy that will always live on.

The year was not easy, it brought up feelings I don’t think I ever really dealt with in losing Dad. It was hard, but as anyone knows that has suffered loss is that you don’t have a choice, you just need to get up each day and put one foot in front of the other. As you would say, it could always be worst, and I realize that, and I turn to gratitude, thank God we had so many years with you, thank God we had a Mom like you and those reminders help me to keep things in perspective, and also carry on. We talk a lot about you, and it is warm and gives us all “happy thoughts”. The White Feathers are constant reminders of your presence and beautiful signs from you, please keep them coming. My wind chimes in my yard, are also a reminder of you, I call them Nanny Chimes. The bird feeder outside of your window is now outside of mine, I love to see them and I remember how much you loved that. I don’t fill it all the time like you do and I can hear you now say “Pamela, you’ve got to keep it filled with food”! On the boat anytime we feel a warm breeze, we call it “Nanny Breezes”. Constant reminders of you, your love and how much we love you.

There is no other love like that of a mothers. I thought I understood loss by losing Dad at such a young age, while that was difficult, there is nothing like the loss of a mother. The beauty in it is that there are a tribe of women (and men) that reach out to you that have lost their Moms, they know, they support you, they encourage you and they stand by you. I have had so many do this for me, and I now know, and will do it for others.
I miss you and I love you with all of my heart. I miss your advice on parenting, I miss sharing with you what the kids are doing, and also your love, how much you loved me and how much you love my family. I see your love in them. Kaili is so much like you Mom, the kindness, sweetness, and special way about her is so much like you, I consider you both my bookends in womanhood, and I could not be more proud. I have to have faith that you are there, you are part of it all in this wonderful spiritual experience of life. Life is but a dream.

While we had to let go of your hand one year ago today, I am never ever letting go completely. I will always hold on to your hand and heart in a spiritual way. I will always talk to you, talk about you, and let your example guide my wisdom and my path. I will do all of this while I move on, move forward and live life. We all know how precious (and short) it all is. Cancer took you too soon, but your love and spirit will live on forever. 

I love you mom and miss you with all of my heart. The world would be a better place, if we had more people like you!

Pam Guyer
The Truth about Marriage!

Today, we celebrate our Wedding Anniversary and 19 years of marriage.  This year especially is hard, because tomorrow will mark one year since my Mom’s passing—I swear she waited a day so that we would not share our anniversary with her passing.  This week is an example of how life is, many celebrations but also reminders of how vulnerable we are, how precious life is and how we need to Warrior On.  As a bride I had so much hope, so much wonder and so much excitement about the future ahead of us.  

As we celebrate 19 years, I reflect on our Marriage and how life has changed in these past two decades.  Our daughter came home from the hospital on our first wedding anniversary, and then within the 3 years following we had 3 babies, 3 and under.  Our first decade was full of homes, babies, businesses and the busy-ness that comes with all of that.  Our first 17 years were magical in many ways, while some days or moments were hard, we had so much fun, we grew our life, our family and had heart & humor at the center of it all.  We have had our moments or our disagreements but have always stayed on the same page (in the big picture).  The past 2 years have been HARD.   We have had too many changes, and also have experienced loss, and family health issues, and have had our share of bumps in the road.  So I suppose marriage is not always bliss, while it is magical, and amazing to have a life partner, it is also hard, marriage is hard and humor and love are the two things that help us get through the difficult times.

Our kids are the center of our universe, and while we try to put our relationship first, it does not always work that way.  The truth is, we love our kids more than life itself.  The joy that we share and the love that we share for our kids, is incredible, and something we value and cherish deeply. The past few years have been hard (we never got the 7 year itch, we got the 17 year itch), and life has thrown us many curve balls, and we are just taking it, and being there for each other, and putting our family first.  Humor helps us through the difficult times.  Humor reminds us both how much we love each other and how good we are together.   Looking at the entire 19 years, we have had a blast, I mean it, an absolute blast!  We have had so many laughs, so many important moments shared, we have been touched deeply by others (mostly our children) and feel incredibly blessed by our life.

I write this post sharing some truth because I believe people need to hear it.  I believe people need to hear that while we are a great couple and have a blessed life, we have our own struggles and marriage is not always bliss, it is so friggen hard some days.  Anything worth having in life will be hard at times, we will be tested at times, and this is truly what marriage is about.   We love home, we love family and we value our marriage and our life together.  It is that core, those values and this way of being that keeps us strong when we are challenged and life is hitting us hard, or harder than we would like.

The truth about marriage is that it is hard.  It is the most amazing thing to share a life with someone you love.  It is amazing to have someone that has your back, believes in you, loves you unconditionally—because when things get hard, you have the solid foundation to stand on (and lean on).  

Today I celebrate 19 years of marriage with my best friend, my rock, and for my family, our everything.  I hope my daughter marries a man like my husband, and I hope my sons, grow up to be like their Dad.

XO
 

Pam Guyer
Only 18 Summers….

Years ago in business, a mentor of mine shared this with me and many other Moms, “you’ve only got 18 summers with your kids”.  At the time I first heard it, it made me think about how important the growing years are, but quite honestly I still did not realize how quickly it would go (even thou the toddler to school years went by so fast).  

This past weekend, my first born and only daughter turned 18 years old.  We celebrated the weekend with some mother daughter spa time, shopping and then a nice family dinner in Boston. Leading up to this birthday, I really could not believe my baby girl was turning 18, it really does happen "in the blink of an eye".  As I coach other Moms in business and also share inspiration from the platform of Living HIPP, I wholeheartedly remind every single Mom that you only have 18 summers, and I say it with wisdom and knowledge of how true it is, and how they really do grow up.  We have another year of high school, so that makes these changes and these milestones a bit more easy to face as it is all so bittersweet.   

The boys are growing so fast too. Our oldest son is a full blown teenager that will get his license this summer, he will have a summer job and in the Fall will begin his Junior year in high school.  Our youngest has his own milestone of graduating 8th grade, he will join the other two kids in high school, 3 of them in high school at the same time will be a memory builder for them (and for us)! 

Our girl starts her Senior year, is 18 and in early spring, met a wonderful young man that she is now dating.  For the first time we are seeing her seriously fall for someone, and a beautiful relationship blossom.  Young love is a beautiful thing (I guess this is easy to say as we could not be happier with the young man in her life).  It has been our “Father of the Bride” moment, similar to the movie, it is about a girl that has fallen in love with a boy, and the Dad sees his little girl changing.  While she is not getting married, it is that sweetness in life that happens, we could not be happier for her, but her Dad has needed a little time to adjust.   Seeing them as a couple, and seeing two special people be together truly is a blessing.

So, only 18 summers.  Life is changing for us (and for many of you) in front of my eyes.  It just goes by, time keeps going, children keep growing and it is another reminder to be in the moment, live in the moment, and be grateful for the moments.  I find it is the simple moments, the laughs, the conversations, the memories that matter and for this season, the summer ones.  Our senses bring us back, they remind us of the sweet memories: the smell of fresh cut grass, the ocean, the lake, the grill and the sights of sun, of flowers in bloom, the pretty blue ocean and warm sand, the green grass & pretty tree’s—even the smell of rainfall in the summer, and splashing in puddles—it is all so sweet and reminiscent of summer.    

18.  How did we get here?   I am reminding myself that there will only be one summer of 2017 and to embrace it by living in the moment, and creating great memories for my family.  Finding that balance of working hard, but living better (meaning living life with meaning)—let the good times roll!   There were many moments I missed as a "work at home" mom, but also many many many moments we created because I could be there as well.  I can only share that you will never regret the moments & memories you made with your children and those you love.  You will never regret choosing your family first!  Remember, all you have is 18 summers, enjoy each one.  

Oh summer, I just love you!  XO

Pam Guyer
HIPP TIPPS for our Graduates!

As I watch my newsfeed filled with graduation pictures, I can’t help but think about this important time in a young adults life. Of course, I think next year as a Mom I will have my first graduate, and those sentimental feelings come rolling in. So while I am not going through this as a parent myself, I would love to offer advice to our graduates, as a professional Life Coach & Strategist, as they begin a new journey into adulthood and take on this important milestone.

Graduation marks two things, the end of an era and also the beginning of the next chapter in life. I would like to focus on the next chapter, and life lessons that I have lived, learned, taught and practiced over the years—these are great guiding principles that are important at every stage in life, and are a great foundation from which to build upon. These are leadership and life lessons which should be at the core of everything we do, graduate or grandparent, they can be applied to everyone. For today’s post, I focus on the graduates:

1. Believe in Yourself.
Always believe in yourself, no matter what. You always need to know that you matter, you have a voice, you are capable, you are worthy, and you can reach any goal you set your mind on. There will be times in life you need to be your own best cheerleader, coach and advocate, always believe in yourself and never let anyone take this away from you. Remember these two important lessons: What other people think of you is none of your business (it does not matter what other people think, their thoughts are a reflection of them). Also, never compare yourself to others (everyone has a different journey, focus on your own, also, with social media, you only see the highlight reel, never compare your behind the scenes to someone’s highlight reel on Instagram).

2. Work Hard.
Anything that you want in life requires hard work. Be willing to be the person that goes above and beyond, that gets the job done, that doesn’t give up until you reach your goal. Hard work is essential in life. This is the one thing you have control over, so while you can’t manage what happens or who has better skills and/or opportunities than you, you can work hard. A strong work ethic will serve you your entire life, let it begin now, and be that person that people and companies, and communities can rely on and want on their team, until you create your own.

3. Create a Vision.
Cast a vision for your life. You don’t have to have it all figured out and this exercise is on going and an evolution. Visualize as well what you want in your life, and believe that anything is possible. Expand your imagination, reach for a better version of you, and cast a vision of what is possible, believe in it and nurture it (even if it seems impossible, that word alone really means I’m possible). Have something in your living space that reminds you of your vision, even if it is pictures or words—review it each day. This is a powerful tool that can transform your life, and help you at each stage as you learn to expand your vision, and manifest what you truly desire in your life.

4. Set Goals.
This exercise and practice will help you throughout your life. The key is to take action on the goals you set, it is the activity that helps you achieve your goals. You can apply this to every area of your life. Choose two areas to begin, and work towards these goals—make sure you write it down, post it and review it each day. It is important to know where you are going, and to be clear on what to focus on each day. Focus on the activities which bring you closer to your goals.

5. Think Positive.
This is probably one of the most important lessons you can embrace in your life. A positive mindset will be what makes your life go from good to great. Life is hard sometimes, it is going to knock you down, and you will experience a range of emotions which are unbearable at times. Always remember that “it could be worst”. Think about the positive in each situation and train your brain to go to the positive thoughts rather than the negative ones. We are in one of 3 modes: complaining, blaming or building—be the builder, be the person that takes 100% responsibility for your life and take ownership of that and your attitude. Share your positive attitude with others, this will not only help you, it will make our world a better place. Be the light for others, and always shine light on darkness. Also, surround yourself with people that lift you higher and are positive, avoid those that bring you down. You become like the 5 people you surround yourself with, choose wisely.

6. Practice Gratitude.
When we approach life from a place of gratitude, it helps to shift everything. Gratitude helps us to put things into perspective, and also aligns us with the magic, beauty and blessings in life. If you can begin each day by simply writing down 3 to 5 things you are grateful for, it will keep you grounded in a positive place, and will help you stay the course, and focus on what is really important. It also allows you to appreciate the simple things in life, it is the simple things that truly bring joy to each day. If you can’t get yourself to do this daily, do it on occasion to begin, and when your mind wanders, or you are in a rut or overwhelmed, just capture the 5 things you are grateful for. An attitude of gratitude will truly make you accountable for your life, and also appreciate all you have.

7. Live in the Moment.
Mindfulness and living in the moment will help you really be present for your life, for those you love and for what is really important to you. As a young adult, you will need to plan for the future, however, don’t do so at the cost of the present moment and present day. Living in the moment helps you connect to what is important to you. Living in the moment helps you stay focused, and to engage in relationships that are meaningful and important. Remember, yesterday is a canceled check, if something has happened which bothers you, learn to put the past behind you, do what you can to make things right (apologize when you mess up), and move forward with your best intentions. Learn to be a good listener, and be interested rather than interesting when it comes to your relationships and being present for those you care about and want to be with.

8. Do Your Best.
No one can “do you” better than you. Always do your best, and don’t worry about being the best. When you do your best, you allow yourself to truly blossom and bring your best gifts forward. When you try and be the best, you can force yourself into competition mode, which is okay, but it is at the risk of not being aligned to your true self. When you do your best, you will grow in many areas, while staying true to yourself. Being Authentic and being who you really are is important, never forget where you came from and always honor yourself. The world does not need more imitations, the world needs more of you! Take a brave step forward, declare who you are and what you want and go after it!

9. Be Kind.
Be kind to others, and always be kind. The world has too many bullies and there is too much angst and fear that needs to change, let that begin with you. Be kind to others, and also be brave enough to stand up for others when someone is not being kind. Always put yourself in the persons shoes, and look to make everyone in your path feel important and recognized. Very simply put, treat others as you want to be treated. One important lesson here also is to be kind to yourself. Say kind things to yourself, be good to yourself, take care of yourself, and practice self care. Empathy and compassion are two attributes that are necessary for to achieve greatness, because greatness is not just achieving, greatness is who you are being.

10. Be Humble.
While it is important to believe in yourself, to achieve and reach your goals, to do better and to create success in your life, it is equally important to be humble. Stay grounded in all you do, and be good to all walks of life, it is diversity that allows you to be well rounded, grounded and an amazing human being. See the best in others, give credit to others, recognize the people around you and focus on others—when we serve others and genuinely want to make a difference, it becomes less about us, and more about being of value and service to others.

11. Give Back.
Be generous with either your time, money, skills, compliments and self. When you create a mindset of service and helping others, it truly will bring you joy but also, it makes our world a better place. If you see a problem in the world, don’t complain, ask yourself “what can I do to make this better”. Exercise your voice, be the difference maker, stand up for others that can’t stand up for themselves. Find a purpose or cause that you are passionate about and get behind it, if it does not exist, then create it. All great movements in life start with one person, believe you can be that person, or at the very least, get behind a cause that you believe in. Do you want to create a legacy that is selfish or do you want to create a legacy that you are a generous person that gives back and helps others. In life, there are givers and there are takers, be sure you are the giver.

12. Love.
Lead your life from a place of love. You only have one life, and for some it can be short or go by fast, put your heart into everything that you do, and lead your life with love. Tear down any walls that you have built, or lay down the fear of what others will think. Expressing love and opening your heart is the greatest gift you can give to the world and those around you. Tell the people you love that you love them. Show your affection, write the letter, send the text, make the phone call, and share how you are feeling. Your emotional intelligence is far more valuable than your intellectual intelligence—the world has not caught up to this yet, but listen here, and own this now, it will be what sets you apart. Always lead your life with love, and let that love begin, by loving yourself first. Speak love to yourself and others and always remember that YOU ARE LOVED.

13. Eat Well & Exercise.
You are what you eat. When you eat better, you feel better, this is so important yet so hard for young adults. Strive to practice this to some degree and make it part of your lifestyle. Choose nutrient dense foods when possible, and always try and get exercise and fresh air, it really does matter and it will be important to how you feel. Your health is by far your greatest asset, don’t take it for granted, and fuel your body well, so that it performs well. If you take this on as a priority, you will create good habits, and will feel better on a daily basis. Sleep, exercise, eating, hydration are all important when it comes to daily living, be mindful of this, and make it part of your daily practice—this will fuel you today and shape your future in mind, body & spirit.

14. Make Good Choices.
By now you know what they are. Really try and make good choices, when you are presented with situations that may or may not be a good option for you—choose good. There are consequences to our choices and you need to think through this and be aware of this in the decisions you make. Live by this simple motto to help guide you through decisions and daily practices of life: “Do the Next Right Thing”. You can ask yourself “what is the next right thing for me to do”, this will help you stay the course, do the next right thing and live life in a way that helps you prosper and grow.

15. Cultivate Integrity.
Integrity and character are as important as your health. Choose to be a leader, and an example for others by making integrity important in all that you do. Having integrity means that you are honest, responsible, reliable, and a leader in the roles in your life. Character is important, and it begins with you. Character and integrity mean that what you do when no one is looking should be equal to what you do when people are looking. God is always watching, and being honest to yourself and others is important to your values and the values and the core you are building. You will be tested, and in those times, remember how important this is, and by doing the right thing, you are leading by example and living a life of honor and honesty—expect this of yourself and others.

These are just a few lessons that are really important to remember, embrace, practice and live by. You only have one life to live, so begin by owning it, and getting to know your heart and soul and what it is you desire. Be patient as you figure things out, be willing to make mistakes, it is not about the setbacks, it is all about the comebacks. Have fun, take chances, and make memories with those you care about. Congratulations to you, and this is not the end, this is the beginning to so much more, the journey ahead begins today, it begins with you! Make the world a better place as you step forward in creating your best most wonderful life!

XO

Pam Guyer
Your Voice.  Your Purpose.
Your Purpose

This afternoon I was laying on my daughter’s bed with her, petting my dog Poochie and looking at my dog's sweet eyes.  

I had this thought about kindness and I was reminded of a conversation I had earlier in the day with someone, yet another person, that told me, “I was bullied when I was younger”.  I was hit with the thought and reality that kids are bullied every day, kids are mean to each other every single day.  I thought how so many kids go through life with a lump in their throat, wanting to be accepted, but dealing with the unkind comments, mean behavior, and thoughts that swirl around in their heads.  They just want to be happy, to be accepted and to be loved.  Bullying isn't only between kids, it even happens with adults.  Some kids are abused or treated poorly by adults.   While I want to focus on the good, I cannot ignore this truth, this fact and this huge, real problem that we are not addressing in the way it needs to be addressed.  

I told Kaili that for some reason, that I had these thoughts and that it bothers me to see kids treated so unfairly by others, and she responded, "me too".

I was reminded that I am so passionate about this topic.  It bothers me, upsets me, and I see it as a big problem, one about which we should be doing more.  I said out loud to Kaili, “I need to do more”.  I have so much passion. I know I inspire others, but what am I really doing if I am not doing anything more about this important topic and both the kids and adults that need someone in their corner?  They (we) need someone to champion this more.

That was the end of the conversation.  Was it a God Shot?  Was it a reminder to teach kindness?   My daughter said something brilliant, which I could not agree with any more:  “They should teach this more than so many other subjects in school”.  True.  The emotional health of our children (our future) is so low, even though we like to believe it is so high.  Testing, standardization, scores, and so much content that they will never use in life is shoved down their throats in every grade. Yet, being kind, being compassionate, being empathetic, and being a champion of others is not at the forefront of where kids learn, where they develop and how they embrace these important characteristics.  

Why on God’s earth are we not doing more about this?

Why don't Moms (who I believe are the most amazing people on the planet) speak up and rally to create change, not only for children but for adults (we can’t even be good to each other sometimes, as we judge, criticize and compare)?   One might argue this should start at home.  We all know it does not or it only does for a few.  I even see great families, families that sort of talk about kindness, push their kids so much that they become so competitive and lack kindness and furthermore learn criticism from their well meaning parents.  These parents continue to unknowingly teach their children how to criticize and compete rather than to understand and empathize.  Emotional intelligence is not valued as it should be and we as a society are suffering, our kids are suffering.  

As I think about my purpose, this topic comes to mind.  While I love to inspire and teach people to live their best life, I can’t help but want to teach kindness; kindness to self and kindness to others.  Empathy, compassion, kindness are not valued to the level they need to be.  School is wholly about academics and I can’t help but think that they will never use so much of it. Instead, the important lessons on how to be kind, how to treat others, how to build others up are what matters.  This is what will make our world a better place.

It is all so big and overwhelming.  How do I make this world a better place by teaching kindness? By standing up to bullies, by calling others on mean girl behavior, by sticking up for the children that are being treated poorly by peers, adults, teachers???????

I don’t have the answers, but I need to understand that I am being guided and that I will be used in this purpose and in His purpose.

I will reflect more on this.  I will remind myself that my own experiences with childhood bullies and adult mean girl behavior were not there to hurt me.  Instead those experiences were there to help me and prepare me to be a voice for so many. It is so much bigger than me.

What is your purpose? How can you use your voice to create change and make our world a better place?

We all have a voice, we all have a purpose.  It is our job discover it, to uncover it, and to exercise it for the betterment of ourselves and others.

My purpose and my voice scare me.  It is so big at times that I can’t get my head around it.  I remind myself that my heart is bigger and that I have way too much passion inside to just follow someone else’s passion. I need to unleash my own even more!

XO

Pam Guyer
Your Underdog Moment!
underdog

I love the underdog and have always had a heart to cheer them on, believe in them, want it for them and to know deep inside my core, in some way, we are all or have been the Underdog.

When was your underdog moment?

I believe it is our underdog moments that show us what we are made of.
I believe it is our underdog moments that push us out of our comfort zone.
I believe it is our underdog moments that build our character, determination and commitment.
I believe it is our underdog moments that humble us, and ground us in our humanity.  
I believe it is our underdog moments that make us more compassionate and empathetic towards others. 
I believe it is our underdog moments that are spiritual gifts we are given and should then share.   

It is unfortunate that some of our underdog moments are not necessarily a result of our aptitude or ability, sometimes they are based on others opinions or evaluation.  We know not to let that stop us, and we also know that we are 100% responsible for ourselves, our action and our results. The beautiful thing about our underdog moments, is that we persevere through any obstacle, doubts, fears, and people or things that are in our way, for these stones become steps in our journey and pursuit.  

My underdog moments have created who I am—they have been a series of lessons on life and shape my own experience on how I live and what I teach.  I believe I am a champion for the underdog because I am the underdog—my life would look completely different had I not reached inside of myself and listened to that voice that said “I want more”.  I would have had a completely different life had I followed the advice of others, and the path that was set for me to follow.  

Growing up, I felt like the underdog for a few reasons.  One being that school did not come as easy for me as it did for others, knowing myself today, I probably was ADD (most definitely) and a different learning style—to this day, this sets you back in traditional education.  Secondly, growing up with such humble beginnings and financial challenges just makes you feel like the underdog, it is apparent and beyond obvious to yourself that you don’t have the same advantages as your peers, this was something I felt to my core, you look at things differently and value them differently.  

My underdog Moment are many, but one that really stands out as my moment, and success story was as a high school student and my transition into Adulthood.  I will never forget being in the Guidance Councilors office discussing my plans for the future, and the path I should take regarding college.  In my high school, while people went on to college, a good percentage went in to the workforce so this was very much an acceptable path for many in my community.  I sat across the desk from my Councilor and I wanted her to tell me something like this “You have everything it takes to be successful in college, and we are going to do everything we can to support you in that process, I believe in you and want to help you”.  Those are not the words I heard and I will never forget how my heart sunk, and my hopes disappeared when she said something like (in a very kind voice), “I don’t think college is the path for you and I think you should look at getting an administrative job or secretarial job to start in”.  Gulp.  I was agreeable to her but inside I will never ever ever forget that feeling, disappointment, conflict, misunderstood, left out, labeled, mad, sad, confused, and hopeless.  I am certain I just put a smile on, agreed with her and thanked her for her time, I had not exercised my voice in that meeting, and buried the lump in my throat and the dream that was stirring in my heart.   Even though she did not say this, what I heard was YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.  

After graduation, I did get a job, and entered the workforce even thou I wanted to be going off to college as some of my friends were doing.  I hated it, it felt wrong inside, but by all accounts, I was doing what I was suppose to do.  I was working alongside some people my own age, but mostly women that were my mom’s age, I was stuck in a place I did not want to be, and did not know how to get myself out.  

Sometimes our Underdog moments have their break out moments because of a champion and someone who believes in you.  My girlfriend’s dads believed in the underdog (me), and took action and became my champion.  He said “Pammy, you really should be in college”.  It was music to my ears but seemed impossible.  I responded that I don’t know how I would do it, how I would afford it and how would I get in (two big huge hurdles that seemed impossible to get over).  As fate would have it, his friend was a Dean at a college and he would set me up on an interview.   I borrowed my girlfriends professional clothes, and brought my A game to the meeting (and Mr. F brought his belief and recommendation and obviously put in a good word).  I was accepted, the interview went well, and the next hurdle was financial—Mr. F told me that I would get scholarships, grants, Financial Aide and would probably need to borrow money, and with my parents help on filling out the paperwork, that is what happened.  My parents were concerned, could I really afford it, how will I do it.  I just told them, I didn’t care, I would make it work, it would somehow work out, and that is the path I followed that following Fall.  Faith filled my heart and fear slowly dissipated and while it was there, my faith was stronger.  

My underdog moment became my game changer moment.  I would thrive in college, work several jobs to support myself and not only put myself through college and earn a BS, I graduated Summa Cum Laude and would go on to receive my Master’s degree years later.  I love this story for many reasons, but at the heart of the story is a young woman (girl), that heard from an adult and professional that she “was not good enough”.   She also had a champion in her corner that validated the voice inside of her that said “there is more for you”, “you are worthy”, “you are smart enough”, “you can do it”.

It required me to be brave, it required me to move past the fear, to break down the labels, walls and opinions of others (even myself).  I moved past all of that and because I took that action, that step, it completely changed the trajectory of my life.  Education was the key for me to open up so much more inside of me, it put me in circles and circumstances I would never have been able to before.   Career, marriage and lifestyle would all change, because of this one very important Underdog Moment, the moment I had a choice, and decided to listen to the voice that said “what if”.  

What underdog moment are you facing today?
How can you be brave enough to step out in faith?
What will it take for you to break through the barriers, walls, and status quo?
What does God have in store for you that you are been neglecting.
Listen to your heart, listen to that whisper inside, listen to your soul.  It always knows the way!

Also, be the champion of yourself and others.
Who are you cheering on do do more, be more and have more?
Who needs you in their corner?  Who can you help go from impossible to I’m possible?

Be that person.  Be the champion.  Believe in yourself.  Believe in others.  

We are in this thing called life together.  Why not work together, see the best in ourselves and see the best in each other!

Pam Guyer
Preparing for Summer as a Mom Boss!

Having a business and/or working from home can be a challenge for many Moms.  

For over 15 years I have loved the ability to work around my family, work from home, have flexible hours and truly design my life, my schedule and be family centered while creating success from home.   

While there are so many benefits, it does not mean it is easy or that flexibility is care free, there were many times I had to struggle with the juggle, and have had to miss important things with my family in order to be successful and grow as a leader and create a thriving business.  

As a Mom Boss, I have had 15 summers of planning for work, 15 summers of planning for family life, 15 summers of making memories, making business grow, and some how, making it all work, from babies to now teens.  I have made mistakes, I have been held captive in my home office, I have had incredibly successful summers in business, and ones which were not so successful.  I have also experienced the joy of figuring out how to work smarter and more focused—and also coaching many women and moms how to do the same.  The summer months are a different animal, schedules are completely different, business can be really good but you really need to make that your intention and go after it and hustle for it.  Summer months can also be a great time for you and your family, to go on vacation, build memories and truly live in the moment with those you love—this is sacred time.  Over the years I have figured out how, and have also helped many Moms implement strategies to have a successful summer in business and at home as a Mom.  

Here are 5 HIPP TIPPS to prepare for your summer as a Mom Boss:

1.  Establish Office/Work Hours
This is so important to your success this summer.  Establish hours of when you will work, and make sure you have coverage or child care for your children during these pockets of time.   Also schedule in time for you, for exercise, meditation, reading non fiction content that inspires you.  

2.  Lazer Focus & Power Hours
Work smarter not harder!  Make sure the activity you do actually is income producing to your business and not busy work or administrative work (save that for either early morning or late night outside of your prime time work hours).  

3.  Increase Your Activity
My most successful summers in business have been when I have turned up the heat on my business, filling my calendar with more activity, and taking advantage of these awesome months to grow my business especially when others are not.  Also removing busy work, I will catch up with that in the Fall.  It is a mindset.  

4. Create A Summer Top 10 List
This has been really important to making sure we don’t miss out on the important things that we want to do as a family in the summer (or the very least, things I would do with the kids).  Sometimes it is a bigger adventure and other things on the list might be “picnic at the park”.  It is awesome to create with your kids, hang in the kitchen and check things off as you do them.  This guarantees fun family time & summer adventures and also helps to keep you family centered this season.  

5.  Daily Summer Fun!
Each day I would be sure that I was available to do something fun with the kids.  It could be a few hours on the beach, it could be a trip to the park, it could be going for ice cream, or just blowing bubbles in the back yard when they were little.  This is the time you shut off your phone and be present with your kids.

My Mentor Rita would tell me that we only have 18 Summers with our kids.  I can’t believe the little girl in my tribe will turn 18 next month.  It does go by in the blink of an eye so don’t miss out on being there, being present, and also know that you can build your business, you just need to get really good at planning, and working with extreme focus and tenacity (busy work does not work well to achieve all of these things).  

I have a saying, and it is “operators are not standing by”.  Meaning, put boundaries in place with your business or job, don’t always be available by phone, and responsive to every request, call and person that reaches out to you.  Unless you are a brain surgeon (which you are not), it can wait.  Be present, let texts come in, calls go to voice mail, and be present in the moment with your littles.  You can follow up in the evening or perhaps when they watch a show before dinner time.  Your office hours are your time to dedicate to work, and your family time is your time to be present with the kids, and I have done both (meaning present and interrupted, and the being present truly brings so much joy to you and your kids).  

When you feel stressed or overwhelmed, which more than likely you will at times this summer, try and remember how fortunate you are to have the ability to work from home, plan your day, your schedule and be able to be there for the memory builders, even just the ordinary day, which to many of us, is the true memory that we hold on to.

XO

Pam Guyer
Having It All
 
 

Can You Have it All?

As women and moms, we have this desire, belief or curiosity at times, can you have it all?

Lets first define what “it all” actually means….

For most, it means having a career, business or purpose in addition to raising children, and feeling you are successful in both areas.  

I believe the answer to that question is yes, and no!

Having it all is a myth, because it is not something that is easy, natural, and without intention, thought, guilt, sacrifice and friction at times.

I believe you can have it all, when you don’t do it all!  Meaning, you need to let go of trying to do everything and be the end all and be all to your family, your business, your work, your life.  We all know that behind the curtain, behind the scene is a Mom that is exhausted, feeling guilty (you are not a good mom when you are at work and you are not a good business leader when you are at home)—at least that is the story you tell yourself sometimes because it is not easy, and you are not super woman (she’s a myth).   

This nagging question needs to be answered based on your priorities, based on your values, and based on your aptitude.  

You can have it all, when you learn not to do it all.  Delegating responsibility and simplifying areas of your life make this possible.  Likewise, carving out time that you are able to dedicate to your family and to each child is what makes this work.  Here are some ideas and things you can delegate, and create a support system that allows you to thrive in both life and business as a Mom Boss.

Child Care:  Secure care for your children during the times you are working and they are not in school.  Even a mothers helper can be valuable for a few hours each day or week.
Personal Assistant:  This can be a game changer even just a few hours a week.  Outsource some of your errands and things on your to do list.
House Keeper/Cleaner:  You can save yourself hours each week (and stress) by hiring someone to clean your house, and perhaps fold your laundry as well.
Grocery Delivery:  This can be a big time saver and allow you more time with your kids and/or on your business or work.
Dry Cleaning Delivery:  Again, another option to mainstream and simplify your life. 
Virtual Assistant:  This is a smart way to leverage your time and skill set, hire someone to do the work that is not a good use of your time or skills.
Meal Delivery:  There are great options out there to have fresh meals delivered to your door, or ones that just need simple preparation.  

These are some ideas to get you started.  While there is a cost or investment to some of these, the payout on some is priceless and also in most cases, I have been able to grow my business even more, because I was able to build a support system, and leverage my time in my business and with my kids.

Having it all means not doing it all.  Having it all also means that you can’t have it all at the same time.  There are seasons and business cycles that pull at you more, and there are dedicated times for family that are sacred, guard each of these and be sure that you gain some balance when you are not in a busy season or project that demands more of your time.  Makes sure your life blends, and that you create time for the important areas and people in your life.  

XO

Pam Guyer