The Other Woman
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A few days ago, it was 2 years since my mother in law’s passing. My husband went to her favorite Florist shop, Leonards in Beverly, and had a gorgeous arrangement made which he brought to his Dad’s house. The two of them spent a few hours celebrating her life, a jack in Bumpa’s hand and a Tito’s for Charlie—also a nice walk down to the beach with the dogs--my father in laws favorite place on earth.

I joined them for their walk to the beach, and also brought “Bumpa” dinner, I knew on this day, it would be great to have a meal made as it is a sad day and sad time for our Bumpa. Married for over 60 years, so much of his life with his wife and best friend by his side, but every day he gets up, he gets going and we are grateful for Nel (his golden retriever) who protects him as he dotes on her. Bumpa is by far the kindest, nicest man I have ever known….

I am writing this post in honor of my mother in law, and also in honor of my relationship with her. I know there are so many stories of “mother in laws”, I am one of the lucky one’s, I had such a close relationship with her, and loved her as she equally loved me. Losing her was numbing, I honestly feel like I did not have adequate time to mourn her, while I felt sad, I needed to stay strong for my family, for my husband, and also, having just lost my Mom a year before this, I was grieving my Mom, and could not go to the place of truly grieving both of them. Her illness and decline was over a 2 year period, Parkinson’s Disease and Alzheimer’s, which I have learned ALZ to be an incredibly awful disease, it is so difficult for the patient and even more so for the family. We need to do more about brain health, Alz research--but I digress, I want to focus on my Margaret, and share more about my relationship with her and this most amazing other woman in my life.

When Charlie & I started dating, I knew we were from different worlds, but what I did not realize is how similar (while different) our worlds were (as I write this I realize this is another blog post). I remember so clearly the feeling I had before meeting his parents, while I was excited and looking forward to it, I was also inwardly intimidated, not by them, but by my insecurity of not being “good enough”. Think about how often we conjure up feelings of “less than” or fears, insecurities and “stories” when in fact they are not truths, they are not how it turns out and they do not serve us. Thankfully I also brought my “A game”, meaning I opened my heart and mind to all the commonalities, and also, all the good inside of me, and lead into this new place, these new people with my heart. I began to expand my experiences and also create such impactful relationships with my in-laws, it was a friendship in the making. Their influence on my life is something I can’t even explain, all that I can say is we all agreed that the Mellor Family and the Guyer Family absolutely embraced each other, and both families had such appreciation and respect from the beginning.

Peg and I really began to bond even more when Kaili arrived, every day she would drive 30 minutes to be with us, and her and I watched in awe, the baby girl that had changed both of our lives so deeply. My first child and her first grandchild—she dedicated her life at that time to being Gramma, and loved every second of it. Not only did she help me with Kaili, she also helped me, nurtured me, and did anything to support my role as a new mom. She was so sensitive to the demands of motherhood and also the exhaustion and inner fears of being a new mom—this was so different from my family, in my family, you had babies, and warriored on, you just did it, and it was no big deal. On one hand I had Peg saying “oh Pam, how will you do it, please take a nap, let me do the laundry, let us bring you dinner” in addition to all the help she offered and provided every day. Where as my Mom, 8 grandchildren in, mother of 5 and grandmother for 20+ years was all about, “you just do it, you’ve got everything you need inside of you, it’s instinctive”. My mom’s coping mechanism was a "suck it up and warrior on" style (although she will share she absolutely loved every minute of raising kids, she loved it so much and I believe it was just her make up). Peg was also an incredible mom, and she was more vulnerable about motherhood—as she understood real issues at this time of exhaustion, depression, anxiety and isolation (all real, all raw, and she taught me so much, that would later serve me in life). In those long days in Georgetown MA, I loved being a Mom, I loved my time with Kaili and I loved my time with Peg. We would stare at the baby, talk about life, fold laundry together and when not talking about serious things, we would laugh, poke fun at ourselves and build such respect, admiration and full on love and friendship for each other. It was so very special and I am so very grateful. Our parenting style was different, I was all about the schedule and Peg was not—she would comment at times but she saw how much my babies thrived, and she followed the schedule while also breaking the rules, just perfect for a Gramma. Her and Kaili had a special bond, she loves all of her grandchildren equally, it went from this special one on one time, to fast and furious a pack of 5 grandkids, who she just adored. “The Bumpas” became the place where all 5 grandchildren loved to be, house was transformed into a nursery and playroom and these two beautiful people just adored their roles as grandparents.

When it comes to motherhood we never do it alone—we have conversations with others, people in our lives that support us, and are there to cheer us on. Peg was my cheerleader, she was always checking in on me, and also gave me way more credit than I deserved. She would always say she did not know how I did it, even thou I learned ways and strategies to put support in place (I think that is where she gave me credit, creating a home, family life, and being there while building a career—the fact is, I could not have done any of that without her)!

We had many jokes and she loved when I would call her “Margaret”, of course, it was in a playful way, she would laugh so hard with my sassy tone and would respond back “Pamela”! It was our joke, our place to poke fun of ourselves and each other. When the decline in her health and memory declined, I would smile at her and raise my voice “Margaret”, she would smile so much that the home care attendant would say “she knows, she knows”.

While I could never do as much as my husband and sister in law did for their mom in those months and months of her decline, in my own way, I was able to sit with her, talk with her, rub her leg gently and tell her how much I loved her. How much she meant to me, and also told her she was going to be okay, that everything and everyone was going to be okay. I told her we would take care of Bumpa and how much all the kids loved Gramma. I miss my conversations with her, I miss her laugh, I miss her intelligent views on things, she was so smart and also so kind. We had deep conversations about life, we also talked about stain removal, and household chores (she was the queen of getting a stain out), the mundane, ordinary conversations that matter, especially when you turn it into humor and laughter. We would joke about Tupperware, how we both had a pet peeve when people would leave the house with it, say they would return it and never do (this was before the disposable ones)—we would laugh and any time we sent each other home with things in Tupperware we would cheerfully say in that joking way “Keep It”!

I think about how many people waste their energy and time on complaining about the in-law (granted, there are many that have good reason to do so). Beyond those difficult ones, what if we open our hearts and mind to the good. I opened my heart and mind (while scared and of course so loyal to my own mother), and because of that brave move, I was blessed beyond I could imagine with the most amazing other woman in my life. I love you “Margaret” and you will always be in my heart forever.

Pam Guyer
Fall - All the Feels, All the Things!

There is this undeniable feeling that stirs within us when Fall arrives—while in September we are letting go "oh so slowly" of Summer, we anticipate new beginnings and for many of us, a fuller calendar and cadence to life. When October arrives, it is then when we truly are ready to indulge in the season, it’s beauty, it’s bounty and this special time of the year.

All the Feels!

Our spirit holds the feeling of this time of year—it is sunshine, it is cool, crisp air, it is the chill in the air that makes our hearts warm—that Fall feeling arrives and is embedded in our being. Instinctively we know this season, the sights, the sounds, the sunshine (and yes the rain). The burst of colors so vibrant, leaves falling, leaves swirling and our spirit, memories, and presence are engulfed in this magical feeling, this magical time, that melds together years of growing, years of experiences that celebrate this season, this feeling and this magical time of year. When we open our hearts and minds to the beauty of it all, we allow our spirit to soar, bringing up all the feelings of the season and the positive vibe in it all. It is magical. It brings me back to my childhood, the smell of cinnamon in the kitchen, BC Football playing on the television, my Dad’s beautiful crisp & clear blue eyes and him saying “it’s time to get the woolies out” while rubbing his hands together. It takes me from that kitchen to my kitchen today, planning meals that are warmer and full of comfort, a candle burning and let’s just be honest here my kid looking into his phone snap chatting away. I have no doubt that he takes in the vibe, the feel the comfort of home. I am connecting my experiences and providing a space for theirs, it is something we don’t always talk about, but it is a beautiful thing, and each season I am reminded of the thread and tapestry of our lives.

All the Things!

There is nothing like experiencing “all the things” at this time of year. On a crisp, sunny cool day, here in New England, we can finally put on our chunky, cozy sweaters with a pair of jeans & boots—throw on some shades and we are feeling it all and ready for the day and this season. Let us not go too far without a warm drink in hand be it coffee, pumpkin spice latte, hot cider or whatever your favorite is this season—it just feels good. The tastes of the season are upon us and pumpkin spice is everywhere, I don’t love everything pumpkin spice, but I love seeing it everywhere, and I love seeing how people are so excited for the taste of the season. The experiences this season are festive and help to ignite all the feels: hayrides, apple picking (bring on the apple pie, apple crisp), pumpkin patch, football games, bonfires and gathering with family and friends.

That first fire of the season warms the home and warms the heart. The moon shows its glory in harvest and the sky is different, and sets the stage of this beautiful season from day to night, preparing us for winters hibernation. Fall Fashion, Fall Food, Fall Fun, it all matters, it all creates this Feeling of Fall.

This time of year is about harvesting, we plant the seeds to nurture and grow, so beyond all the things, and all the feels, it is a time of growth, of earth, of germination and work that is happening that you cannot always see. What seeds are you planting to harvest your life? Are you tending your garden? Do you feed it, protect it, pay attention to it? We are the seed. We are the garden and in each season, we need to look at our own harvest, our self care, our life, our dreams, desires and nurture, love and respect this beautiful bounty.

Life is busy, life is hard, all days are not always good days, I get it. Find your moments, be present with it, practice gratitude daily this season, and let your spirit rise this season—you deserve all the feels, you deserve all the things! XO

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Pam Guyer
Letting Go But Holding On Forever
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I am finally writing a post about my Cameron going off to college, my middle child, my oldest boy “big boy” and this beautiful human that has challenged me, touched me, taught me and makes my heart burst with love. When I had 3 babies in 3 years, my Mom talked about the positive, how much I will love it as they grow and are into the same things (same stage of life)—she said it would get easier. She was right, I loved having our Guyer 5, the stages were full, chaotic, but also so magical (in the mess). What Mom did not share is that the stages of them leaving the next would be fast and furious—Kaili last year, and Cam this year, I’m ready, but I’m not…

Cam is a 6+ hour drive away in upper state NY, it is long and the drive home when we moved him in was long, and miles and miles apart. Cam has now been at college for just over a month, we moved him in for Football Camp, and when we hugged goodbye, it was a quick goodbye in the dining hall, before he rushed off with his teammates he did not know, to be at the kick-off meeting. In retrospect it was good I suppose, because I just wanted to hold him, look at him, and not let go.

We walked out of the dining hall as Guyer 4, with our 5 in Canton NY, in the middle of nowhere. On the drive I saw the moon and the miles, I also thought about Cam’s journey, the boy that never gives up, never gives in and how this trait has served him so well.

Getting home very late (early morning), tired enough not to dwell, but peeking into his bedroom, and of course, my Cameron did his signature thing and left clothes on the floor (note: laundry basket right there)—a sweet reminder of what once drove me crazy, brought me such comfort (it was so gratifying to pick up his clothes from the floor this time)—I have no doubt he left them there knowing I would be picking them up with the same nostalgic spirit.

All of these emotions of change, letting go, knowing we are at this place in time are there, but also, more importantly, we are focused on his adjustment and orientation in to college (all while being on the sidelines and waiting for his call, his FaceTime and holding back from saying are you okay, have you met friends & are they good people, a gazillion times! We were thrilled to see him happy, see him enjoying the campus, his room, the team and all things college, our boy was settling in just great, which helped us to settle in at home. He loves it and so far he is happy and thriving.

The house is a lot quieter, Cam made up for many voices, commotion, and presence. He would instigate his brother every morning, misplace his keys or wallet almost daily and we now know who was not lifting the seat (moms of boys, you get that one)! A week from today we have parents weekend, and I can’t wait to see my boy, hear his laugh, be with him and indulge in all things Cam (football, friends, fun)!

I hope any parent reading this that has already sent their kids off, is reminded of this special bond, special time that is both incredibly challenging but something you just need to do and “pretend” it’s normal to raise a child (nurture, protect, feed, teach, love, care for) and then let go. Fly little birdie, fly! You read this with more wisdom and insight and know this feeling oh so well. I also hope parents with littles that are not at this stage just yet, are inspired to be present, be aware that those ordinary moments are truly the extraordinary ones. Life pulls us in so many directions and as a Mom (or Dad) your most important space is your home/family and the months and years are going to fly by. Hold on while you can, and be in the moment—put down your phone, put aside your to-do list and just be….

Cameron Charles, I might be letting go but remember, I am holding on forever! While I am here at home, a piece of my heart is in Canton NY—carry that love with you everywhere you go!

Pam Guyer
Good Night Moon!
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Last night on my way home from a Yoga class, it hit me once again (and it clearly became evident the feelings I have been trying to avoid, even though it truly is all good). My oldest son, my Cameron will be going off to college this Fall, we just went through this with Kaili, and now Cameron, I am feeling it deep, and am covering it up on the surface. I typically go to yoga during the day, but last night attended a Yoga Nidra class, which is meditative in nature, more healing and so good to balance out the typical hot power yoga that I practice. I left the class feeling grateful I attended, calm in nature and curious about my healing (why do I need healing when I am truly so blessed)—I don’t have the answer, but what my gut tells me is that we all have healing to do and those of us that are empaths, our hearts and bodies simply absorb more (the good, the bad and the ugly).

On my drive home, I was looking at the beautiful moon in the sky, my goodness, it was absolutely beautiful. There is a section of farm land, and with the moon lighting it up, it was something only God could create. As I looked at the moon, I was reminded of my Son Cameron, as a baby and toddler, he was so curious, he loved the moon, and looking out the window in awe of the Moon, Sun, Snow and Tree’s—most kids are, but he found such delight in this. I can still hear his sweet baby voice “Mooooon”, and his tender sweet hand and finger pointing at it. We had a routine every night, after story time, I would go to each window to pull the shade down and we would say “Good night Moon” and yes, the book was one of our favorites at that time. Those sweet memories warmed my heart as I drove, watching the moon, thinking about how time has passed, my Cameron is now a man, full grown: handsome, fresh, funny, sweet, caring, messy, curious but also cool. That bald little head, grew into sweet hair, that then became a “page boy” hair cut, that then became hair he would cut while mom was out (scissors, hair & kids don’t mix well), then a whiffle, then straight and curly and short and long. Today, it is that hair that bunches out under a ball cap, with hairy legs and arms and the sweet bedroom is now wrappers, dirty clothes and Boston sports teams abound.

The Moon.

The Moon is there every night and on some nights lighting up the skies. While we are changing, growing and going through the stages of life, the Moon is still there, and is that steadfast miracle that lights up the sky, working in tandem with the Sun (or Mr. Sun as we so happily referred to it in the toddler years). It occurred to me, and the Moon shined it’s light on, the emotions stirring inside of me. My Cameron is growing up and my Cameron will be off next year to college, just like his sister. I then pictured calling him at school and asking him if he can see the moon, I often joke with him about his infatuation about the Moon, and how much I love his curious mind as a toddler, and that sweet (and hard) time in our lives. We would sing “I see the Moon and the Moon see’s me” and I am certain his older sister tried to steal the show with her Shirley Temple way as a 3 year old. Cam was more quiet, more reserved, but let his needs be known with demands and maybe a tantrum. When those happened after dark, we would distract and find the moon, it soothed him, it soothed me, and all was well in the world.

While it was “many moons ago”, it was just yesterday. The mundane nights, good night moon, I am reminded once again that the small moments and the ordinary days truly are the extraordinary times and the moments that really matter.

Good Night Moon. Good Night Cameron. Good Night to this precious time in our lives, but it is not good bye, we are in it now and I am going to embrace it all. When the sun goes down, the Moon is always there, shining in it’s glory or hidden behind the clouds—an example of life and all it’s glory and the evolution of time and life.

Good Night Moon.

Pam Guyer
25 Years Without My Dad
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On the early morning of September 11th, 1994, my world came crashing down. I heard a door swing (crash open) and heard “Call 911, it’s George”! Awoken from my sleep, my Mom and I both picked up the phone, frantic and not knowing the situation, but with a history of heart disease, I lived my entire life in fear of this very moment.

My Dad suffered a major heart attack that morning, which was 25 years after his first major heart attack (age 29) where he they was not expected to survive. He did, and when we lost him, our comforting thoughts and my Mother reminded us, that were blessed to have him an extra 25 years, she was there 25 years before, when his last rights were read in the hospital.

We lost my Dad that day, gathered around him in the ICU—I can’t even explain the pain, the shock all the while knowing that this day would some day come. Loss is so very difficult, and sudden loss is really hard (as is long term)—so I am going to share more about his life, rather than his death.

My Dad was one of the strongest people I know. He has endured what no human should ever, a difficult childhood did not deter my Dad, it set him on a courageous path to change his life, and create a family and life that he so cherished. The song “Circle of Life” had just come out before my Dad left this earth, he loved this song, and had so much wisdom about life, he truly was grateful as he knew each day was a gift. He sought healing his entire life, he spent time with God (very spiritual), he loved music, he loved nature, he loved a good laugh and he equally enjoyed a dirty joke. As I describe him you would think he was an angel, yes and no! He was an angel and is our angel today, the biggest heart for family but also he was a guys guy. He loved to laugh with his sons, his brothers, his friends, his wife & daughters, he was so funny, fresh and fun. He also had a fiesty temperament, he did sweat the small stuff and worked hard each day not to “lose it” over small insignificant things. My Dad was the best when it came to big issues and how to handle them, he was so wise, so in touch with his character, and any time we had a challenge, he was the best person to give advice, and help us chart our course. What I would give to sit with him today, so much advice I would ask, so much credit I would give him for his lessons in life—I have often thought this, and am reminded he is here spiritually.

A small man with a big heart, handsome, bright crisp blue eyes, tan skin and a smile that truly lit up the people around him.

The Circle of Life is beautiful, and my Dad was wise to know that his words of advice, and his love would be shared spiritually, while he is not on earth with us, we continue to celebrate him, quote him, and seek his advice from the words he shared with us more than 25 years ago.

Those days and weeks that followed, I felt such deep pain—my Mom (at only age 54) strong as ever, took the lead and encouraged us to put one foot in front of the other. She stood strong beside us, and reminded us that we need to live our lives, one day at a time—Dad would not want anything else but for us to live fully. Even thou I wanted to remain in the fetal position, each day I became a little more braver, getting in my car, commuting to my job in Boston, and taking on all the firsts that year: Thanksgiving, Christmas, Dad’s B Day, Easter, Father’s Day and very simply, life as we knew it.

His greatest joy was being Papa to his 12 year old granddaughter and also the babies, 2 grandsons and 2 baby granddaughter’s. He would leave a legacy of a family that would continue to grow: 6 granddaughters, 4 grandsons and 1 great grand son—Nanny had enough love and her heart & home became the place that sheltered us all from our sadness, fears and challenges in life. I have days I get mad or sad, why can’t he be here to be part of our lives, why oh why God did you take him from us? I need to then remember that I can’t control that, and I just need to accept it, as hard as it is. Anyone that has experienced loss knows this feeling and also knows that through the pain, we need to create our comfort, our joys, our memories and continue on in the circle of life.

I did move forward, I did move on (with you in my heart)...

You did not get to walk me down the aisle, but my big brothers locked arms with me as we walked with you in our hearts. Best of all, I had a great man at the alter waiting for me—I believe in my heart you sent him to me.

We did not have our dance (Daddy’s Little Girl) but you did play it and if I recall I believe we danced to it in the kitchen on Moncrief Road. To this day, I have fond memories of you dancing to Feliz Navidad in the kitchen, with your goofy slippers on. While we did not have “the dance”, we danced, we sang and I have a girl that I will see have her dance with her Dad some day, and I will happily think of you.

My biggest accomplishment and proudest moment are the 3 amazing, beautiful children I have. Dad, I see parts of you in them—and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are there, you see my babies and delight in their lives. As I shared in the hospital room on 9/11, we knew you were leaving us and through tears, I assured you that my kids someday would know you, no matter what, they would know they had the best Papa in the world (even thou it was a few years before having children). We quote you, I talk about you to them, and I even had 2 hockey players to keep that Mellor Boys Hockey alive!!!!

Twenty Five Years has been too long. There were days I thought it was impossible to go on, but with the help of Mom and many others, I got up each day and put one foot in front of the other. And for me, time did heal, things eventually got easier, and while not fully healed, life still happened, and my own circle of life was waiting for me. What a beautiful life, what a beautiful legacy...

25 years…. I got married, I gave birth to 3 babies, I raised those babies, and have experienced so much personally, professionally-- many positive experiences and some difficult ones too. Losing Mom a few years ago was hard, but life is hard, and we can’t let these things make us hard. As you and Mom taught me, to live life fully, move forward, don’t quit, look at the bright side and never forget where you came from. I came from the best, while we did not have the best of everything, we certainly made the best of everything. To me, that is the best way to live and while you both are not here on Earth with me, you are my Circle of Life, you are part of me, you are my heart, you are the crisp leaves in the Fall, the snow in winter, the flowers in spring and the warm breezes and sunshine in summer, you are with me always. You are in my kids smiles and laughter, and while I am so proud of them and want to share it with you, Giggie, Cubby, Shelly, and Suzie get texts from me as they have stepped in to be grand parent like to the kids. The Circle of Life...

9/11 has significant meaning to our world and it is a day we will never forget (this anniversary is now significant for 2 big reasons) and I honor every person on this day. The 9-1-1 in my life was 25 years ago, and my life and heart, has never been the same. I miss and love you so much Dad, until we meet again….


Pam Guyer
Falling in Love with Fall
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I love the season changes, they bring back wonderful memories and soothe the senses in very healing ways.  Here in New England we get to experience all 4 seasons, and living my entire life in this region, brings back memories through sights, scents, and sensations of this glorious time of year.  

While we are in a state of mind and getting back to our routine, schedules, business and life—we are also hunkering down, getting grounded and most importantly enjoying this time of year.  

Some things I love about the season are big sweaters, boots, soup, pumpkins, sunshine, foliage, bursts of bright yellow, orange & red, falling leaves, cool crisp air, the smell of a fire at night, warm socks, football, comfort food, family dinners, harvest candle, decorating my home, a warm fire on a chilly night.

Here are some things you can do to celebrate the season, and enjoy it even more:

—find a favorite sweater, there is nothing like sweater weather

—Decorate your home with a few fall items, things that make you feel good and make your house feel more like a home.

—Be outdoors, be present, take it all in.  The color, the smells, the beauty, the air, breathe that fresh fall air.

—Go to a football game, or sport that you like, or at the very least, watch it on television, high school & college football truly help with that spirit of the season. 

—Build a fire or light a candle at night.  The warm glow truly does warm the heart, and helps to ground the soul.

—Walk outside as much as possible.  The cool air, bright colors and crunching leaves connect you to the season, the earth and yourself.  

—Visit a Farm or Orchard, apple picking, pumpkin patch, hay rides, warm cider and cider donuts, take it all in. 

—Lastly, get yourself a great pair of boots.  Yes, splurge, a Fall Sweater and Fabulous Boots, you deserve it, just do it!  

Fall is a Feel Good time of year.  Don’t miss out, try not to rush through it, racing and pacing and missing out on the miracle, the feeling, the joy in it all.  Feel the Feels of Fall and share that light and your light with the world!

XO

Pam Guyer
Being a Mom Boss
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I knew years ago when I worked in the corporate world that someday, I would be my own boss. I actually had visions (before I had kids) of being on the beach with a cell phone, kids running around and working this flexible schedule (I genuinely believe what you think about you bring about). This impression and visualization (which was not forced, just visionary) are what happened to me 3 years into Motherhood.

I was in the Corporate world teaching Leadership Development after my second child was born, I decided to end my corporate career and stay home with my kids, I so badly wanted to be home with them, and have them at home.

What I did not anticipate is that I would lose myself in the process. The days became mundane to me, and while I love my kids more than anything on earth, I missed myself, I missed passionate Pam, professional Pam and my desire to do, be and have more. Equally, I missed making an income, I had made an income from the time I was 12 years old, I also had always been financially independent, and in some way, empowered me to make my life better by putting myself through college, and saving a sizable amount of money to purchase a home.

So I set out to find work, I wanted to make an income from home, have flexible hours and make $50K a year part-time. It did not exist, or so I thought!

I was introduced to Direct Sales, and I very hesitantly began a business, not entirely sure it would work, and honestly a bit embarrassed to be doing business in a living room. However, my desire to have flexibility, earning potential and work on my own terms was stronger, and thankfully I jumped in. Within a year I met my income goal, but also saw a more significant opportunity for me and my family—I would work really hard, but over time, built an incredible income that far surpassed my full-time income, and my husband’s in the corporate world.

I am so glad I said yes, I am so glad I decided to take a chance and not worry about what others would think or say. Back then it was not as well received, today, social selling is where the market is, and it is easier and better than it has ever been—allowing me and other Mom Bosses more flexibility, more mobility, and working our businesses virtually.

The income as a Mom Boss can be incredible, and it indeed did change our lives for the better. But it takes hard work and time to get there.

You have late nights, you can hear no a lot, you can question yourself, your husband might laugh at your first check, but stay the course because you are writing your own story, the income will grow when you do, consistent activity and positive leadership & vision are key.

But, it’s not all about the money, even though it is important and certainly motivates me to do more activity and take action, if I did not do that, I would not have built a business like I did—yes, there were days of me in my office while the moms were hanging out in the cul-de-sac and yes, while people were home watching Gray’s Anatomy at night (or whatever the favorite show was), I was more than likely out working or in my office, catching up on work.

This opportunity as a Mom Boss changed me as a person. I found my voice, and rather than yell at the kids to listen or stop fighting (which obviously did happen too), I was speaking with passion, with purpose with conviction about what I did and how other Moms and women could do the same thing also. It became magic when I could share it with others, help others grow and see how it changed not only me but the women I worked with.

Here are some benefits that I have experienced, as well as many colleagues in the industry or doing their own gig.

—Grew as a Leader. I developed leadership skills like never before, even thou I taught leadership in the corporate world.

—Grew Personally. I became a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and businesswoman.

—Mind Set. My mindset changed, I learned so much about the power of the mind, and how that shows up in our lives positively or negatively.

—Confidence. I grew confidence both personally & professionally while maintaining humility & realness in both work and life.

—Life Balance. This has been an ongoing challenge & opportunity—while I worked hard & was out of balance, that taught me how to create it.

—Healthy Lifestyle. This is a work in progress, but learning and growing have brought me down a path of better living & better choices.

—Community. I have had a positive tribe for the past 16 1/2 years, and lucky me, two different companies with incredible people.

—Spirituality. While this is not for everyone, this was a huge benefit for me. I believe we all have a desire to believe, and faith is important.

—Recognition. At home, I did not get a standing ovation for folding the laundry, but in business, there was so much recognition & reward.

—Purpose. I believe we all have a purpose deep inside and having a business gave me the platform to discover and uncover mine.

—A Voice. I needed a platform to share my voice, my passion, my vision. This led to a bigger vision outside of the industry and into the world.

I think motherhood is amazing and all Moms are incredible. Working Moms, Stay at home Moms & the Mom Boss—there are no right or wrongs, it is best to do what makes you happy and is best for your family. For me, I needed more, I needed to work, but I also wanted to be home, and connect with the kids throughout the day—it was not always easy, but it worked and was the best thing for me and my family. I did not “do it all,” I built a team and support system that made it all work, I had to be vulnerable with this, and realize that it does take a village.

If you are afraid to start, my advice is just to start where you are. I was afraid too, I was doubtful, I was too busy, I was overwhelmed, I did think about what others would think, I had to challenge my husband on how much time I was working and not quite yet making an income. I am so glad I did not stay in my obstacles, I am so grateful I chose to believe, chose to take action, decided not to quit and chose my truth in needing balance in my life, being a Mom while being a leader and motivator. Not only has it been financially rewarding, but the real reward is also where it has led me, and how it has given me a clear vision of my purpose, and how I want to put a dent in the universe, just one person at a time! The cool thing, this is not my story, this is your story, or it can be your story. Listen to that voice inside, say no to the obstacles and say yes to the opportunity.

XO

Pam Guyer
“Back To”, It’s our time too!
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I love this time of year, even thou saying goodbye to summer is hard, it is the newness of the season and the vibe and feel of getting “back to” a routine, setting goals, having a schedule and more time to focus on work/life/goals/health that leads us to our best life.  

Arguably, September is the New Year for most Moms, we start "a new", our kids start "a new", and the schedule is oh so NEW!  

It does not matter if you have little ones or college age kids, this time of year brings out a feeling of anticipation, Fall is on the way and a busy schedule is something we need to jump in to, ready or not!  I truly love Fall, it is truly the time to harvest and grow.   

I crave this time of year because I crave getting back to my routine and having my kids on a routine.  We all do better, and this is where I thrive (yes, on a routine).   The lazy days of summer are so great, but admittedly, I enjoy it for the time that it is, but come late August, I am ready for my schedule, routine and inevitably that means taking care of myself on a daily basis.   One thing that I remind myself of every year is that September all of a sudden comes, and feels like A Tsunami—it takes weeks to truly adjust to the new routine, the switch from lazy days of summer to full blown kids out the door by 7am, yoga, work, driving kids, errands, house, homework, dinner and keeping stress at bay (hello yoga)!   While I love having my kids home during the summer, I do the happy dance when I see that big yellow bus (and these days it is seeing them go out to their cars), it is the most wonderful time of the year (truth)!  I love my time freedom when they are at school: I love owning my schedule, I love being able to go to yoga or go for a walk (my dogs love it too).  I love being a Mom Boss, I love to work, yes, I love setting my goals, sitting at my desk and charting out where I want to be by the end of the year.  I love even more helping women do the same.   

Here are some “hacks” I have used over the years to get myself “Back to” work/life and showing up in my life.  Over the years I have learned to put myself on this list, and that is where Living HIPP exists and was born.    So I guess you could call these hacks that help you show up and not lose your _____ while living your best yet busy life.    Interestingly enough, I was excited to kick off my schedule on Labor Day weekend, this week was going to be taking my schedule back and being on track—lets just say that did not happen (so be prepared that ____ happens).  My daughter got an awful stomach bug at college, we had to bring her home for 2 days as she was dehydrated and weak, then my husband got it (he went down hard), and now my son is feeling something coming on and he is home sick today.  Ummm, this was not part of the plan, so tip #1, expect the unexpected!  No yoga, no schedule, no kicking ass this week (as of today) for me—I have gone into Rambo mode (my husband calls it Pambo), taking care of everyone, disinfecting our house, and praying I don’t get this.  So, be okay when all is not okay, because this too shall pass!

Here are your “Back to Life/Work” Hacks:
—Wake up 30 minutes earlier for “me time”: reading, affirmations, meditation, exercise. I LOVE time in the morning, my Magical Mornings! 
—Make Your Bed (I’ve gotta work on this one) but when I do, it just makes everything better (thank you Admiral McRaven)
—Plan Your Day out.  I do weekly planning on Sunday, and then in the morning each day I review my game plan and agenda.  Calendar is key!
—Practice Gratitude: this helps build a HIPP life, it shifts your mindset and attitude, write 5 things in am and 5 things at night you are grateful for. 
—Do Yoga, or meditate at some point during the day.  It centers you, calms you and helps you live in the present in a peaceful way.  Breathe!
—Walk every single day in nature (just a 15 minute walk outdoors can clear the mind and lift the spirit).  Movement is key!
—Feed Your Body well!  Oh man, this is what I need to embrace, I am still in summer mode, it’s cupcakes or Kale.  Kale, choose the Kale!
—Set Goals:  What are your business goals?  What are your personal goals?  What daily action will you take to get there.  Write these down & do them!
—Create places and spaces that inspire you and make you feel good.  This may take you all season but do a little bit each day.
—Declutter Your space.  One space and one room at a time.  Donate things that you no longer use.  This will open up space in your heart & mind.
—Choose joy (happy) each day.  Revisit this throughout the day.  Look for the best in yourself and those around you.
—Be Kind.  Really, be kind to others that can do nothing in return for you.  The world needs this more than ever.  So do you!
—Drink Water like a warrior.  Hydrating your body will prevent you from slowing down.  Plus, it helps your skin glow.  Drink Up!
—Get off that hamster wheel!  I know, we all do it.  Live each day with intention, purpose, joy: it will literally change your experience. 
—Get into momentum.  Momentum in your work or business (do 5 things today to move toward your goals).  Be in it to win it!
—Let go.  Let go of the people or things that are not serving you.  You know what they are, just do it!
—Make that list.  Put things on the list that only have to be done (kids/home/family) or work.  Get things on the list, get them off the list
—Self Care: this is so important and is the difference maker.  Carve in time each day to fill your mind/body/spirit with caring thoughts & action.  

This is your season, your season to shine!  Get “back to” who you are, what you desire and your true authentic self.  Living HIPP is your platform to do just that.  Stick around here this Fall as we navigate through the amazing opportunities and yes challenges of life.  You’ve got one beautiful life, lets make it count, come back to yourself, be at home with yourself and create places and spaces that feel good & inspire you do be, do and have more!

Lets Go Sister, this is our season, our new year, our time to do amazing things in the world.  
XO

Pam Guyer
When College is Here!
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This past weekend, we dropped our first born off to college for her Freshman year—we feel grateful she is 90 minutes away, just enough space for distance but also close enough for us to visit or her to be home if she needs us.    This is such an emotional time, it is truly hard to believe we are here, I swear she was just getting on the bus for her first day of Kindergarten.  What I expected and what actually transpired while dropping her off are a big surprise to me.   I am a deep person, I feel deeply, I care deeply, and while change is great, I experience these milestones in their lives so deeply and emotionally—kind of like a “happy-sad”—so happy for them but bittersweet as we say goodbye to the childhood years, and those times when we were so close in their daily lives.    

It was my birthday, which of course did not at all feel like my B-day because I was entirely focused on getting her moved in and of course, creating a space that feels comfy and like home to her, that was my goal for the day.   In true fashion, once we were setting up her room, I was in full production mode and doing what I love and something I do well, making spaces look and feel good.  Once we were done after hours of setting up and also a last minute trip to Target, it was time to leave.   It was surreal, that is the only way I can describe it, it just did not even seem real, it has not yet hit me that she is in college, and we are really here, at this point in life.  I walked her back into her building after she hugged us all goodbye, she quickly said I love you and “happy birthday Mom” as she walked down the hall, away from me. She was walking towards her next chapter, the chapter of college, the chapter of growth, the chapter of independence, and the best years of her life (even though it won’t always feel that way for her).  My eyes teared up, but I couldn’t let it out, she turned around because she knows me so well, she knows I would just watch her walk until she was out of my sight, and I kept watching, standing alone, watching my baby girl who is now a woman, walk. Away. From. Me.  Gulp.

While it all feels emotional, it really has not hit me.  My husband said he knows what that means, it will hit me, and it will come when I no longer need to be strong, strong for her, strong for our family and when no one is watching or there, I will have my moment.  My husband, on the other hand, cried like a baby, we were not even at the exit to get off the high way to take her there, and I saw tears rolling down his face, behind his shades that covered some of it.  I could hear his breathing change, and see him grip the wheel, as in holding on to it, like he wanted to hold on to her.  The crying for him continued throughout the day and weekend, I thought I would be the weepy one, and it was him instead.  

I find it so hard not to call her, text her and check in as much as I would like.  She will not grow independence if I am checking in often, while she needs to spread her wings.  It feels like a contest with my husband and I, we joke and say “she face timed me today,” we are keeping count on who she is calling and who is calling her.  I have changed up my routines, and I think I am avoiding my regular routine because I know she is now not part of that daily routine—every night after dance she would jump on our bed, play with the dogs, make us laugh and be full of hugs and humor!  I have not yet really thought about that not being there for us, I expect her to walk in the door at any time—I think I might have some denial, or perhaps, just perhaps I have some acceptance, maybe I have prepared myself for this transition.  

We are so thrilled for her, excited about the opportunities she has, and to watch her soar.  We are fortunate in that she is on the Dance Team so we will be able to see her at home football games, which will be a treat, and an excuse to see her.  I think that alone makes me happy, and excited, and at peace, while I adjust to this new way of life in our home.  

I think dropping a child to college is one of the hardest and most proudest things we will do.  It is full of emotion, even when we are not genuinely facing them.  
The thing about time is that we cannot slow it down, we cannot ask for more and we cannot get it back.  These life experiences are reminders to be present, reminders to live full out, enjoy the simple things, and to be with those that you love.  Make memories together, and hug often, hug your kids every day and in every way.  In our family, laughter is our love language, but hugs are always part of the conversation, and how we express our love for each other.  

No one prepares you for these milestones in motherhood, the period of childhood ends for your kids, but motherhood is always there, even when your kids are not.  I am so very grateful for a daughter that is a pure joy to parent, she is my girl, my heartbeat, my life.  We are blessed with her brothers who are also my heart beat and my life, and I am grateful I have the next year with my son, before he goes to college, and 3 more years with “the baby” before he goes off as well.  The nest is changing, and time is moving, and I am watching and feeling in disbelief, and asking “where did the time go.”

When they are little, the days are long (oh man, are they long).  But the years, the years just fly by.  

Pam Guyer
The First Baby Step Into the World
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My Kaili had just turned 3 years old when she was to start pre-school for the first time.  We were all so excited, she was to attend the same preschool as her Dad, and one in which her Gramma had taught at as well years ago.  I can remember this moment, how could she be three, how could she already have two younger brothers and ready to fly the nest, at least for a few hours, 3 mornings a week.  I can remember her first day of preschool, a 2-month-old infant, an 18th-month-old Toddler, and our 3-year-old “big girl”.  We were excited, but also as any parent feels, anxious about having her in someone else’s care, she had been home with me or with my mother in law—we were entering that brave stage, when she is in another persons care.    

I remember it all so vividly.  We shopped for her “school dress” at Talbots Kids.  We bathed her extra the night before, I still remember how much I laughed when my husband said, "make sure she’s bathed really well, I don’t want my kids being the smelly kid at school”.  She has been spit shiny clean from day one, now her baby brother, on the other hand, is a different story (hello 3rd child)!  Hairbrush and put back in barrets , knee socks and school shoes, this was a rite of passage, an important time in her life and in ours.  

Will she be okay?  Of course, she is verbal, loves to play, loves books, and is an easy child, she was so smart.  

There were so many changes that summer, she just turned 3, we had our 3rd baby, adding a new baby brother to the mix made life a bit crazy at home.   We skipped off to school, and I held her hand as I walked her in.  I can remember being all dressed for the “I’m really a Mom” role, with my cardigan J Crew sweater & khaki’s, my Bob Hair (the mom doo at the time), and my cute matching Kate Spade Bag.  Yep, I meant’ business as a Mom bringing her child to school.  Exhausted inside, worried inside but by all accounts, had it together and ready to walk into this next chapter.   Ready or not, here we come!

All smiles to start.  I was able to get her inside and accommodated, with a lump in my throat, looking around at the kids and thinking you better not be mean to my beautiful Kaili.  She was fine, and out the door I went.  Yes, from outside I did go up to the window to look inside and see my baby girl take on the world.   My eyes teared up, and I realized I needed to walk away, go home and wait until I could pick her up.  

Day 2, she did not want to go to school.  She cried and cried.  We took her and the head of the pre-school assured me she would be fine and keep bringing her back.

Day 3, she is holding on to the banister at home as we were dragging her in.  It was so unlike her, she was such a happy girl, but she did not want to be there, she wanted to be home—we carried her kicking and screaming into the school as the teacher told me to do.  It began to not feel right, my gut was telling me she was just not ready.   One thing she shared with me was that the “lady yelled at her”—there was one strict teacher that raised her voice, and to Kaili, it scared her and made her not want to be there.  That and being one of the youngest there put her on the fence of being ready.

She was not ready for pre-school.  The teachers finally agreed with me, and she was no longer a student at Mrs. A’s.  

I thought we failed as parents.  I thought what if this happens at Kindergarten, and all through her school years, will she ever be ready? 

 Seeing her go through this is something I don’t want to experience again.     I can still picture my mother in law laughing when Kaili shared with her “I’m taking a year off”, as in I’m taking a Gap year.  It was a matter of fact, and that was her answer.  

We were fortunate to find a toddler/preschool program in our town that was led by a Mom and Educator that loved all over these kids a few mornings a week for a few hours.  We transitioned Kaili in and she thrived, Ms. Lawnsby’s was the perfect place for Kaili to grow her wings so that she could truly fly.  

We have seen the wings grow over the years.  We have been so incredibly blessed with one of the greatest girls in the world.  She truly is a dream come true.  My fear back then of “what will happen when she goes to Kindergarten, and Middle School, High School & College….

Will She Be Ready?

In less than 2 days, we will drop our baby girl and first born off at college and I am so proud to say she is completely ready.  

I am emotional about this (as many Moms are), I think so deeply and I am sensitive in nature, so milestones and moments are something that I feel very deeply about.  I keep picturing her first day home with us, and ask myself, how did we get here?  

In this picture, I am zipping her rain jacket, and at the time, not knowing if she was ready.

Now, I am watching her pack her raincoat, take my Hunter Rainboots (thanks Kaili), and knowing that the best is yet to come for her.

It’s a very happy time for all of us, but a bit sad because of all the love we have for her and all the gratitude we have for all those years of having her home, having her under our roof, and having her in our arms. 

This is what we work towards, and this is what we want.  This is not just my story, this is our story.

To the Mom’s that have gone before me in this process: I admire you and want you to know how brave you are.  

To those going through this for the first time along with me: you’ve got this, congrats on sending your baby off to college, you did your job and now he or she will do hers—great job Mamma.  

To the Mom’s that still have littles, tweens or teens at home: you know, “in the blink of an eye”, truly, it really does go by in the blink of an eye.  Say yes more often, don’t sweat the small stuff, be there, put family first.    All those moments you go crazy and you think you can’t get through the day, you will.  And those days will all of a sudden become years, and while you have 18 summers, at some point, it will be your last.  Cherish what you can, make time for it, and remember these moments, for they are the best moments.  

This “rite of passage” is for the parents sending the kids, but it is mostly the kids taking on this important phase and stage in their life.  

So while I have mixed emotions, at the end of the day I am so grateful, so excited and so confident my girl is ready!  It is almost time to zip up her bag, and head to college.  Just like that!

XO

Pam Guyer
Inspiration & Seasons 
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There are many things that inspire me, and I must say that words are one of my top 5.  I am a person that needs inspiration daily, and I believe that most people do.  In order to live a HIPP life, and feel an awakening, surrounding yourself with words, positive affirmations, places, spaces and people that you love and admire.   There are seasons in life and seasons for everything.  

The Goal-Oriented Season:

When I need to be in “go-getter” mode, I use words & phrases such as: hustle, just do it, work hard, focus, stretch, never give up, take action.

The Season of Peace:

While it is important to go after goals, stretch yourself and to strive for better, it needs to be balanced with a sense of peace, with a sense of calmness, and while activity & momentum is important, so is rest.   Some words/phrases that inspire me when I need to lean more into a grounded and peaceful approach is:  let go, breathe, peace, balance, compassion, light, love, kindness, self care, simplicity, yoga life, spiritual, authentic

The Season of Joy:

Choosing joy is a daily habit, practice and way of life we should all embrace daily.  If I am experiencing challenging times and/or grief, I shift my perspective on Joy.  There is a simple approach to this, and it is getting yourself from a worried or negative state of mind to a joyful one.  Imagine if you truly lived a life of joy each day, basing your decisions on what is best for you rather than what is best for others (people pleaser).  My words/phrases I typically use in my season of joy are: choose joy, say yes, keep it simple, it’s the little things, gratitude, be happy, love your life.  

The Season of Healthy Living:

This should be a way of life, and for many it is.  Even so, I find myself every season in the year going off track, feeling sluggish and not eating in the way that fuels me (I think so many of us do this and it’s okay).  Words & phrases inspire me to be on track, to put my health first and embrace this lifestyle, some are: yoga every damn day, just do it, healthy life, be fit   

The Season of Discovery:

At different stages in my life, I always need to explore and access where I am.  It is really hard not to judge myself, or be a critic, and I am working on this… Being aware of one’s self is so important to living HIPP and living life on your own terms.  Some words and phrases that help me out as I gain clarity on my direction are: dream big, vision, change, reignite, rejuvenate, transform, awaken, believe.

There are so many more seasons, but this gives you some inspired thought which will hopefully lead to inspired action to use words for empowerment and inspiration.  As I write this, it is the end of summer, we head into Fall, I am in a place where I am merging seasons, setting goals both personal and business for the Fall.  While I do that, I really need to be in a season of peace, to make sure that sense of balance is in place, choosing joy, being grateful, and leading with love (bringing love to work, play, self, others).  

Here are my words for this season.  Daily words and quotes are what inspire me and ground me in the practice of Living HIPP!  XO

Pam Guyer
Life Map
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How often have you given thought to your life, your time, how you spend it and the areas that are most important to you?

Each season I find myself revisiting this question, looking at my life, and gaining clarity on the areas that might need more attention and/or planning.  If I do not focus on this, I go into reactive mode, which inevitably will be less healthy and an escape from what I know works best for me, and what truly helps me to live my best life.   I believe most of us experience this, and that is part of life, and knowing the steps to take, and having a tool box and daily practice can help us to be on track and be balanced in mind/body/spirit.   For me, the most important foundation is health and self care, when I am working daily on this and taking good care of myself, it provides the strong foundation to work on the other areas of my life.  I believe that is true for most of us.   As we are in the last weeks of summer, I am feeling my usual feel, I need my eating, daily routine and structure back to a good place, at this time of year I tend to feel off balance, and this is a sign to start to plan all areas of my life, to get back to the balance & place that helps me to thrive.  

After coaching women in life & business for years, I know this to be true for most women.  That is why there are seasons and that is why each season is an opportunity to access where we are, and plan how we will be balanced in our Life Map.    Look at the areas in your life, and see where you are and also where you want to be.

Health: Are you exercising, eating well, and filling your mind with positive things?  Mind/Body & Spirit can truly change when we honor our health.  

Family: Are you making time for family and is the time together quality time?  What can you do to plan more of that this Fall?

God: Are you taking time spiritually every day?  What if we did more of this, and truly brought more of this into our lives?  Seek Spirituality.

Work: Are you doing work that is meaningful and you enjoy?  Are you aligned with your greatest purpose and your highest self?  If not, change that.

Home: Is your home a place you feel comfort, calmness and does it reflect who you are?  What project can you do to create your HIPP spaces?

Money: Are you feeling in debt or are you feeling abundant and debt free.  How can you manage your money and increase your income?  

Fun: What do you do for fun?  Is it what brings out your best self?  How can you add more fun to your life and make time for fun activities? 

It is the perfect time of year to access these areas in your life and decide where you want to focus most.  Rome was not built in a day and neither is your life.  It is in the daily practice that we align ourselves with our purpose, our joy, our freedom.  Look at these areas and decide how you will address each one this season—choose one area to really focus on, and decide what you can do in each area of your life.  

Your life map is not a destination.  It is an ever-changing road, with stops and bumps along the way.  If you have taken a detour, it is okay, let it be a signpost to find your path, and determine the direction that is best for you to go in.  

Mindfulness around this will help you see clearly, and embrace the road ahead.  Have a vision for what you want, and be brave enough to take daily action, practice patience and gratitude along the way.  Map it out, take action daily, and be okay when you hit a fork in the road, it is just a sign, be open and aware of what that sign is telling you.  

See it.  Plan it.  Do it.  

XO

Pam Guyer
Reflections on the River
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Our summer vacation was a significant change from what we normally do—I will admit, it was way out of my comfort zone, and honestly not how I wanted to spend summer vacation (but loved the idea of doing something different, and seeing a new part of the country I have not seen before).  Each summer we go to Martha’s Vineyard, it is a tradition we all love and holds so many special memories for us, this tradition will always be our summer vacation and a staple in our family.  This year, however, my husband Charlie and his Dad & sister, wanted to go back to the River Trip, a trip the 3 of them took twice, over 30 years ago—the trip is in Idaho, by a company called Oars.  It was a healing trip for them, as we lost my mother in law almost a year ago, and it was something my father in law could look forward to (at 84, it was an adventure for him).  It is a 4 day trip down the lower salmon river in Idaho, also known as the river of no return—with 3 teenagers, we knew it would be an excellent opportunity to bond as a family, and I was most excited about none of us having our phones, we were 100% unplugged.    Oh, make that our 3 teens and a boyfriend!  :)

I was reluctant but held that in for the most part, I voiced my concern to my husband that having no bathroom (toilet/shower) and sleeping in a tent was something I was not comfortable with and it was almost a reason for me to say, “no way.”  But, this has been the year of “yes” for me.  I have been trying to say yes to things that either push me, help me live in the moment and challenge me to break out of old patterns and the idea of “someday”.  The past few years have been filled with a lot of grief, much sadness, challenges both personally and in business, and for sure I have had better days.  This trip was not for me, it was for my father in law, his kids and my kids—I was “taking one for the team."   Up until a few weeks before the trip, I did not realize it was “White Water Rafting,” say what!?  I said to my husband Charlie, "you mean we are going to be in whitewater rapids", I have never done that nor do I want to do that (my fear and anxiety escalated and was it not only the accommodations that concerned me, but also the thought of being scared and afraid of the rapids).  My father in law assured me, I would be fine, the lower salmon is not as aggressive as the upper salmon, and I could go in the boats that felt safer.  Off to REI I went, buying things I don’t particularly like, nor did I want, including the tan bucket hat!  Rather than complain, I just rolled with it and had fun, making fun of myself and also putting myself into a look and feel that just does not suit me.  Calgon, take me away!  

When we arrived at the river and were getting ready to launch with the large group of 24 people (11 of which were my family—including 6 teenagers).  One of our Guides Kale (this guy is a dude, dreadlocks, athletic, and clearly an outdoorsman), gave us the Safety talk, he had to cover every possible scenario and what can happen, this sent me into panic mode, smiling on the outside, but inside my anxiety and fear was at an all-time high.  I was considering not going (a conversation with myself in my head) because once you are on the River, you are stuck, and can’t get off for 4 days (the girl that likes to feel in control was suddenly feeling so out of control).  I coached myself through it and decided I was in.  I immediately went up to Kale and shared that this was not my thing, I was only there for my family, and I was concerned about the rapids, and want the most conservative boat and ride.  He assured me I would be okay, and just to hold on tight—I ended up in his boat, and I am confident he was beginning to think “oh damn, she’s with me,” but to me, he was kind, assuring and chill.   I held on tight on the back of his raft, and it was fun, it was not scary at all. The beauty of the river, mountains, and scenery I am not used to, took over. I reminded myself to be here, be in the moment, and think positive (it was all mindset), this is an incredible opportunity, and I am going to be fine.   

We arrived at Camp, I decided to SUP (stand up paddle board), which was fun, and doing so on the river with the current was a small challenge, but doable.  Hanging in the water, gathering as a family, meeting the others, and chilling out was relaxing and fun.  The food was terrific, and our first night we had Salmon with summer salad and veggies.  The guides encouraged us to sleep under the stars, the weather was beautiful, so we all decided to do just that.  While it was cool, I will admit, I had a hard time falling asleep, and could not get out of my head (bugs, snakes, bears, oh my)!  The next two nights I slept in my tent, but also enjoyed the big sky before bed.   Having no bathroom, no shower, no means of my usual hygiene routine was hard for me, but I did okay, and that practice alone was a good reminder of how simple life can be, and that we only really need the essentials (even though I love beautiful things and lovely accommodations).  The toilet was called the “groover,” a bucket if you will, it was my least favorite part, but like life, you have to do what you have to do—and that I did.   Shit happens, literally!  

On the rafts & boats, I found myself really loving the rapids, it was fun, and I was now embracing it all and feeling more adventurous.  Riding the waves, and going with the flow, it truly helps be it on the river or in life.  One of the Kayaks flipped (very common), and they needed a new person for it, I wanted to do it, but was afraid, I spoke up and said “I will do it,” and at that moment, I let my brave voice speak over my fearful one.   I was truly becoming one with the River and embracing this experience rather than resisting it.   Practicing yoga for 10+ years kicked in, I used breathing techniques, I used my body (hello core), and I stayed in the moment, one rapid at a time, enjoying the beauty, the challenge, and letting go of fear because fear is a liar.  If I fall out, I will get back in.  I loved the Kayak, and remained calm and clear on the rapids—this was a significant progression for me on the trip, each morning and afternoon I would find myself progressing more, and letting the layers of the world fall off. 

Campfire songs, s’mores, new friendships, quality time with family, and guides that are amazing human beings started to fill the walls of the Canyon.  A short yet challenging hike to look over the River was yet another progression, and seeing my kids at the top, knowing someday they might be there with their children gave me chills on my sweaty body (as my husband was there with his sister 30 years ago).   Sounds of laughter, conversation and connection like we had not seen in years (that time before my kids had cell phones).  My 13-year-old niece said it reminded her of when they were little at our old house, and how they played together.  I could not agree more, as much as I loved so much about the River, the connection with each other, and no technology truly was the best part.  We had many laughs, we sang, I even heard John Denver, and I sang every word, reminding me of my Dad, and how he played his tapes over and over (I have not listened to this music in more than 25 years).  My parents were there with me, through music, breezes and the big sky at night.  The first night there was one shining star (before the sky opened up), I knew in my heart this star was my mother in law, I know she was with us in spirit, shining brightly over her most cherished people.  

Not only was it an amazing family vacation, but it was also transformational for me.   Breakthrough of fear, and expanding my circle of comfort.  Sometimes it is nice just to try another way, and seek new experiences.  Will I be a big outdoor girl, camping and such?   Most likely not…. Will I make a trip like this again, absolutely!  My entire family LOVED it, even my daughter who is a lot like her Mom.  We all loved seeing our “Bumpa” enjoy his river trip, how brave of him to do it again at age 84, seeing he was 55 the last time he was on the River.   I will admit I was thrilled to get back to the hotel to shower and have the bathroom facilities—I took my water shoes off in the shower because I had a lot of sand in my shoes.   As I showered and enjoyed the fresh, clean feeling and water pouring over my head, I looked down to see all the sand gathered and formed into the shape of a heart.  This spiritual girl knew that was a sign, a reflection of what you put in is what you get out.  Love was the catalyst for this trip, and God and the universe wanted to thank me and acknowledge me for leading with love.  When we lead with love, we bring our heart & soul on the journey—we practice patience, courage, faith, balance, passion, and compassion.  

Idaho and the Salmon River will always have a piece of my heart.   While I am back to life as I know it, I am reminded of the importance to unplug, connect with nature, try something new and make memories as we only have 18 summers, and this one is a monumental one!

Take me to the River….

Be Bold enough to try new things. Perhaps you are braver than you think.

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Pam Guyer
Focus is oh so HIPP!
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Focus is oh so HIPP! 

Where Focus Goes Energy Flows….

Focus, intention, and clarity are key contributors to living life on purpose and achieving your goals.

Many of us go off track, life gets in the way, we get caught in the trap and many find themselves on the hamster wheel of life. Let's be real, we are imperfect beings, with busy lives, and most often... far too much on our plates.  

When I find myself in this state, I bring myself back to writing things down, gaining clarity on how I want to spend my time, and leaning myself into a state of FOCUS.  

A big part of focus is that we need to make sure it is aligned with our vision, goals, and dreams.

There are times we might be “focused” on things that are not serving us—and our energy is spent on things that dismantle our best life rather than build our best life.  It is okay, you are human and this can be human nature for most. Remember, it's all about progress, not perfection!

Make sure your state of focus flows your energy in a positive, light, empowering, and peaceful way. Course correct when you are in the murky waters of negative thoughts, complaining or blaming.  

Focus is not just achieving goals and crossing things off the list, focus is a feeling, a direction, a light in which we ignite from within.

When I find myself in the abyss of life, be it feeling busy, caught in a lull state of mind or not feeling my best self, I go back to what I know works, my daily practices of Living HIPP.  These simple practices are not only important self-care practices, but also require me to focus each day on goals, and equally important, a mindset & state of being.  

Here are some tips for you to break through when you are feeling overwhelmed or off track, and gain some clarity and momentum on the path to your HIPP life.  Remember it is not a destination, you never arrive, it is a journey, with tools, practices, rituals, and actions that help you move in the direction of your HIPP life.

HIPP TIPP’s on how to Focus:

— write down each day the top 3 things that you want to achieve

— write down each day the feelings you want to feel (check in on yourself throughout the day that you are practicing those feelings)

— exercise every day.  Even if it is a walk outside it will clear your mind, and make you feel better (get those endorphins working for you)

— nourish your body with real food, it truly does make you feel better.  Watch what you eat and drink.  Again, progress, not perfection!

— start small.  Don’t try to change everything and focus on everything all at once (trust me, I know this), start out with small wins.

— implement a “focus 15” every day. This is where you sit for 15 minutes and work on the goal(s) you have set for the day in your life or business.

— Wake up early, the magic is in the morning and a morning spent in meditation, positive inspiration and preparation will set you up for a great day.

— Reward yourself when you accomplish tasks. Make sure the reward is aligned with your overall HIPP life.

—Be present, the more mindful we are the more connected we are to our day and how we spend our time.  

—Be aware of your attitude.  A positive attitude & energy will allow us to get into the flow.  Focus on this throughout the day.

Remember, where your FOCUS goes your ENERGY Flows. Let’s focus on our HIPP Life, and inspire others to do the same!

XO

PS Don't forget to download my Magical Morning Guide by clicking HERE

Pam Guyer