My first official Spring Break was my Senior Year in College, a trip to Jamaica with the school, I reached my goal of going away by my Senior Year for Spring Break, which was a big goal as I put myself through college financially, I had to work extra hard and extra hours to take this trip.   It was my first time away on vacation as an adult, I will never forget that feeling of being in a warm tropical climate while it was cold back home in Boston, I said to myself, I need to do this every year, I sincerely meant it at the time.   That did not happen, as I began my career, I had other goals professionally, and I am not proud to share that I went 4 years without a vacation, by choice, because I was working hard, saving money and after getting myself out of debt (another goal), I was promoted and wanted to crush my professional role—thankfully, I have a completely different POV on work/life balance and lean more into life than work.    

My First Spring Break….

Spring Break 1989, Pammy Mellor, long blonde hair, a tan that rivaled a Hawaiian Tropic Ad and a petite stature for this bubbly personality.   This trip was so much fun, aside from Aerobics, my sport at the time was my tan, and I got pretty dark, I spent a lot of time sunbathing.   

Bob Marley was the soundtrack of the trip, and forever more, I have enjoyed his music, and it brings me back to that time in my life, which felt the vibe of the island and the youthful spirit within.   Dancing in caves, tanning on the beach, glass bottom boats, coconut milk, red stripes flowing and my long hair braided is what I remember most.   While life has changed greatly from over 30 years ago, the music of Bob Marley, is timeless, while it brings me back, it also brings me to the present, and the wonder of music, moments, seasons and how it lifts our spirits in many ways.  

Oh how I would love to go back to the Dreamer, Pammy Mellor, who had no idea what life would be like, but had great expectations, imagination and belief to step into each opportunity and decade/season with vision, hope and a commitment to create more for myself which ultimately inspires those around me to create more in their lives too.  

I would grow in so many areas, and life also would hit me hard, as it does all of us, but we can do hard things!

Spring break today, oh so very different, and this last one, was a Yoga Retreat in Costa Rica, with Bob Marley on the Playlist, and the spirit of freedom and love pumping through my body.   While my mind went back to that trip, my first Spring Break, it also came back to the present moment, and how grateful I felt for this life of mine, how my story was written and how my spirit is very much the same, and during a trip like this, it ignites the spirit.   

We become wiser, we become stronger, we become more experienced, we become more vulnerable, we become more spiritual and we become our own teacher, and lead the way, when we are intentional about how we live and clear on how we desire to live.    

In the moment of being in the Shala and listening to Bob Marley, I felt such contentment, this word gets a bad reputation, but I propose it is the best gift and we should all seek contentment in areas of our lives.  A person that strives and pushes and screams and races, would say contentment is being stuck or just comfortable, a wise person would say it is being present in your life and feeling peace, those two things are magical, they are happiness they are the answer that so many are chasing.   When I find myself in this place, that is where I am at peace, it is not about how much you make or what you acquire (I’ve been on that track and while money is important, it is not success).  Success is living a life you love, it is about the time you spend, not the dollars, it is about what you are willing to sacrifice and what you won’t.  It is also the courage to be aligned with your integrity and authenticity, not participating in the gold rush, I have done that and it feels exciting at the time, but it is not even close to true joy and happiness.  

As we grow, we evolve, as we age, we become wise, as we change, we prefer different things, a different lifestyle and we have the power of choice.   Stepping out of this trip and this Spring Break with so much inspiration, gratitude and love for where I have been and where I am going.   Life is but a dream and we all can be the main character in our own story.   XO 

I am just back from a 7 day Retreat in Costa Rica, at Blue Spirit Yoga, world renowned for Yoga in the magical landscape of Costa Rica and the Blue Zone, a place where nature and your spirit come alive.   This Retreat was special for many reasons, and for me, it was lead by my Yoga instructor of 15 years, the talented teacher I have grown up with in my Yoga practice, her name is Tricia, owner of Elephant Tree Yoga, and her gift and calling is to teach.   

There were so many gifts in this Retreat and I want to share them in a way that inspires you to discover more of yourself, your spirit and growing your commitment to living your HIPP life with Yoga, either on or off the mat.  

I am a Yogi, I am fully into my practice, and consistently practice on the mat in studio 4 to 5 days a week, this is important to my recovery journey, going from a hustle bustle lifestyle, and years ago a drinking lifestyle to my Yoga lifestyle, my Alcohol Free lifestyle, which are all part of my journey in Living HIPP.   You don’t have to be a Yogi to attend a Yoga Retreat (one that is for all levels) and you don’t have to be AF to attend many, however, you do need to have an interest in better living, and bringing more healthy practices into your life.   Likewise, you are open to living more mindfully and practicing daily things that feed your body/mind/soul with goodness and light, it is such a transformational way to live, which requires us to be more grounded, and to simplify our life, so that we may amplify our energy and experience.   

The benefits are endless and are important to whole living, at a Retreat it is transformational and even the daily practice of Yoga on/off the mat creates positive change.  It is you, it is your spirit, it is your heart, it is your mind, it is your spirit, all being nourished and fortified with loving acts, loving thoughts and intentional living, all while navigating challenges and all the thoughts and experiences that we have and some that we heal.  I can’t think of anything that helps facilitate us back to our core being, and helps us live authentically and to ignite our spirit and essence from within.    You are the one you have been waiting for, and you already have everything inside of you that you need.  

This Retreat was filled with so much, and while I can describe some of it here, it left me with a feeling and more clarity on my Dharma (purpose) and how I continue to inspire women and use my voice and life as a force for good.  

I feel completely renewed and revitalized, which is an important process and experience that we should all experience each year (and also each season in our homes and in our lives).  Being in nature, not having any of the pressures of every day life, and the busy work we all juggle in our day to day lives.  While life is much less busier than it was just a few years ago, it remains important for me to Retreat and have time away from the distractions of daily life.  

This and similar Retreats provide time and space for creativity, connection, clarity, solitude, rest, realness, kindness, compassion, healing, mindfulness, contentment, peace, love and reflection.   Likewise it ignited my energy, my charisma, my joyful and happy way of life, something that is just part of me, but often can be buried with fear, should-ing on myself, taming (or at least the taming I inherit from those around me that don’t have the same spark or energy) and life….    We all do this and while I coach and inspire other to live out loud, let their light shine, I had that reminder again to really open up to the vibe of me….  We need explore who we are authentically and continue to write her story….   This keeps me grounded and true to myself, all while having vision, imagination and aligning with my values.  

Ask yourself this….   Who is She?  

She is a leader, she loves big, she performs, she entertains with humor, she smiles, she laughs, she inspires and she raises the energy around her, she has been doing this her entire life.   She sings, she dances and she loves love, she loves when people are having fun, when there is joy and laughter and it is real, and people are authentic.   She also loves deep conversations, humility & vulnerability and to surround herself with positive, kind, loving people who also just want to laugh, learn, and make the world around them a better place by making themselves a better human.   

She also requires alone time, while she is a master at getting a group going, leading the charge on building fun loving laughter through her words, actions, or dance moves (as she tries desperately to sing), she balances that with rest, introspection and time for reflection and relaxation.  As much as she loves to liven up a crowd or a group, she craves time alone and enjoys exploration and down time, this is how she builds her energy and cares for the introvert that she is, all while being extrovert.    She has a business mind (vision, innovation and opportunity) and a heart centered soul, she loves work that has meaning and creates positive impact on the lives of others.  

This Retreat was all about doing as much or as little as you choose, which is great for all women, because for too long we have had to wear the mask of doing it all, and in most cases socially, women rely on Alcohol to do so, and then we think we can’t have fun without it.   I get it, as I felt that way years ago, and it was a hurdle for me to get over, even thou I loved the feeling of being AF, I had so much learning and mindset work to do around changing my beliefs around drinking….   Now I love to share my life as an AF woman at middle age because I want to demonstrate for others that are curious or desperate, that life is better and even more fun, for many of us on this path.   It does not mean everyone needs to be AF, it just means it is another option and it is not what you think it is, trust me on that, it is a gift that you have to work for, and get over the hard and challenging process.  

Also, it is not overnight, it is a process for many, so I invite you to explore this and not need to make any decisions or define yourself or commit to anything, because that is an old model, that does not work for everyone, and Living HIPP has been a modern day “discovery” program/lifestyle that offers more prevention and positive change outside of traditional recovery or programs that might not be for everyone.    While this was not an AF Retreat, it was most definitely supportive and ideal for AF curious, or AF women, as drinking was not highlighted, celebrated or promoted as some “wellness” retreats or venues will do, which is just the wrong message, as it is not glamorous, healthy or cool, it is just something we have been seduced by, addicted to (yes, as in I can’t imagine not drinking, so many are in that boat, and I was one of them).   No shame, no blame, no anything but truth, and saying, it’s okay, and it is a process, and the more you learn and the more you really observe, you will see how it might not be as great as you believe it to be (alcohol that is), and you can begin Living HIPP, and making changes and ultimately (hopefully) achieve freedom from it.   Events like these speak to our soul, and while that was no longer an issue for me, I know the value of Yoga and Retreats and how it helps us find our power within, and your power does not have a drink (alcohol) in it’s hand, that is just an old belief, old habit and a can of “courage”.      There is a better way, and you can begin exploring that, and Living HIPP is a soft landing, because we believe in progress over perfection, we know this is a process and that is the truth of it.    It might not be alcohol for you, perhaps it is food, work, technology, procrastination, negative thinking/self doubt, and for most of us, a mental health “issue” (not the best word) that is underlying our coping mechanisms.   The work of Yoga, meditation, compassionate self talk and movement are all tools that support your best life, and help to redirect old habits into new ones.   Again, this is not just about habits, it is more importantly about better health and better choices.  

Retreats are that opportunity to get out of your daily life and into your best teacher and student, yourself.  As spiritual leaders, we guide you through this process but it is you that really molds the experience and also the degree in which you open up into healing, transformation and positive change.     I am looking forward to hosting a Retreat next year, as so many women need this opportunity to give themselves the gift of time, yoga, movement, reflection, visualization, and application.    I have been teaching adults in leadership and personal development for 30 years and to combine that with my Yoga experience and my own grief and growth journey, I am well equipped to serve and bring others on this journey with me.  

Retreats are not only trips to beautiful places that are warm and sunny, they are weekend getaways, can be done throughout the year daily and in Living HIPP, we practice the importance of Retreat in our daily lives, and that can be at home or a visit someplace local that fills your spirit.     When we live HIPP, we choose to Retreat, and we understand the importance of tapping into our essence, and living a life that we love from the inside/out.   XO 

We are just back from an amazing trip to the Swiss Alps, the Views and Scenery was epic, as was our experience hiking with snow covered mountains around us, it was simply majestic and breathtaking all in one.

Life moments be it every day moments or extraordinary adventures often mirror life in some way, and in Living HIPP and writing and sharing, I often use my life as my classroom, as it teaches us so much when we are tuned in. To that end, my experience on the Mountain relates back to my and our experiences in life. I am reminded that in life we climb in different seasons, we need to be challenged along the way and through that adversity or effort, we get to the top and the view is worth the climb, and it is part of what we have to do to get to the top. I am also reminded that it is not about getting to the top, while that may be the goal or vision, it is in the climb and in the journey that we experience the moments, the meaningful ones, the challenging ones, the connections and conversations and the thrill of the endeavor (all the feels). While I would love to say once we get to the top, we stay on top, we dominate and it is just clear skies, sunshine and eas…. We know that is not true, because life shows up again, with directions for a different climb, or perhaps to navigate downhill to another area, and to be ready to change directions, because change is always part of the journey.

Some seasons or moments we are in the Valley, and that just does not feel good, and sometimes it is out of our control that we are there, or it is something we could have avoided, there is no blame or shame in any of this, there is only learning if we are doing this thing called life in a loving and compassionate way. The Valley is not all bad, the Valley teaches us and prepares us in a way that we don’t always understand, it also shows us and gives us reason to climb, to get back up that mountain and be on the path forward—or perhaps we discover there is another mountain to climb, the more present we are, the better we navigate the path forward. While difficult, Valley’s teach us about love, about ourselves, our values, our character and our vulnerability and courage—who you are in the Valley says more about you than who you are at the top of the mountain. While the Valley is important to the Climb, it is a place we do not want to reside too long, learning to pull ourselves out of it and ask for help or build support is important. Pride gets in our way, fear of what others think stops us from breakout and through, self awareness and surrender or action is what will change the situation we are in and/or begin the healing process. No one on earth is immune from the Valley, unfortunately, some people become jaded in it, and rather than take responsibility, they will take any opportunity to blame others—which most often is a deflection of what they need to look at in themselves—this is an opportunity of growth for all of us, and it is in our choices we are either held down or lifted up, our spirit will lead the way. This is basic human conditioning, and in the interest of creating more positive energy, positive support, kindness and collaboration, we need to not settle for this and while we can’t change those stuck in the Valley, what we can do is change ourselves and find our way out. Believing in more and believing in what is possible can help with this, also patience, grace and compassion, those are the best gifts to give yourself and those around you—the view and experience will be different, it will be far more spiritual and less stressful with this spirit.

The journey is truly the majority of where we spend our time, the paths will bend and curve and we need to learn how to bend and curve with them (we won’t have all the answers and we don’t have to). We need to flow with the river but also climb the terrain and face the elements, it is in this work that we grow, that we get strong, that we learn more, and we also lead, even thou it doesn’t feel like leadership. It does not matter who follows, it matters that you lead, and stay true to your vision and values, it will test others, some will rise and others will choose another path, and that is all part of the climb, it is not to please others, it is to lead the way, to do so with intention and also authenticity, and in that, you teach others how to climb too, we all go at a different pace and that is okay, the spirit is to help others up which means to offer support, but there are times we just need to climb with or without others, depending on the circumstances and what the purpose is.

The view is worth the climb and the top is for everyone, but not everyone will get there. When we can be on this journey and help others, that is what life is all about, not everyone will want help, and in our journey, we can climb with those that share our vision and energy, and are on a mission to create positive change. It’s not always going to feel positive, and that is okay, let that be signals and signs along the way directing you towards what is mean’t for you and what is not mean’t for you. Forward motion, building momentum, consistent activity and you will arrive, however, mindset, attitude, belief and positivity will be what keeps you there longer, and truly feeling connected to this experience beyond the physical aspects, to feel it in your spirit, and have it lift you and others higher. Also, we have to have vision and belief, because without it, we lose visibility and we let challenges or distractions get in our way.

On Our Trip….

Seeing the Matterhorn on our journey was awe inspiring and one of those moments in life that you know you will seal in your mind. We had poor visibility one day, scattered clouds the day before and I kept praying for a clear day, so that we could see the Matterhorn in all her glory, and that is exactly what we got. It was better than I expected and I can’t even begin to share the experience and feeling I had….

It gives you the sense that anything is possible, and also feeling nature and being in nature in a way that is extraordinary is such an incredible uplifting experience, both spiritual and magical. We don’t have to wait until we go to the Swiss Alps or to another part of the world to have these experiences, we can have experiences in nature every day, while they might not be as awe inspiring, the are most definitely inspiring and the more mindful we are seeking simple joys, the abundant we are in these experiences every day. Micro Moments happen throughout the day, be it a beautiful view, a strangers smile, a loved one you are thinking of, or a moment of peace and contentment.

We can walk outside daily, and find so many beautiful sites along the way, so it is not just about the majestic scenery, it is about the beauty that surrounds us every day. The beauty begins within, it is when our spirit is one with nature and goodness and life force. We get distracted, annoyed, stressed and it takes away from this experience, as we grow, we learn to navigate this, it’s okay to do those things, but when we learn to reset and redirect and be present and joyful and grateful, that is where the magic happens. The magic is you, you don’t need the Matterhorn or any Mountain, you just need openness, curiosity, kindness and optimism to see the beautiful view! XO

I don't know who needs to hear this, but I know we all need to be reminded of this, and I invite you to stand up in your power, and that is authenticity and love (because fear holds us back and keeps us small), love is always the answer.

Love is......

Building a relationship with yourself, yes, it is becoming your own best coach, cheerleader, friend and person.

It is the ability to turn down the noise around you, what others say, do, and the constant info in this digital world—your answer does not exist on someone else’s page or reel. The answer exists within you, which requires you to stop searching, chasing, comparing, pacing and to let go of that energy and embrace your magic, the energy of you.

There is not a course, a coach, a company or a community that can save you or be the next big thing, you are the big thing, and it is in the small things that we create change. Positive change is not about always being positive or never feeling fearful, it is about going there and recognizing it, and taking responsibility to shift and choose love.

You are the one you have been waiting for.

Being able to discern this will be the breakthrough you need to step into living authentically and finding your voice, not her voice.

Let programs, people and things inspire and support you, but don't let them be bigger than you. Trust the wisdom inside, trust the voice that knows you and believes in you and surround yourself with others that encourage you and believe in you too.

We hold such power in the way we speak to ourselves, navigate our life and how we see ourselves in the world. We are human, and in that, our default is to be hard on ourselves or to be hard on others, and this is most likely old thinking, beliefs or behaviors that just need to be processed in a more positive and productive way. We also tend to "should" all over ourselves. I should be doing this, I should be able to do that, again, we will hand our power over to expectations of others or what has always been (and perhaps our old ways of thinking).

As much as we say not to do this, we do it, simply because we are human.

It's okay, it is part of how women (and men) have lived for years and years... What is not okay is when we let this be the way we live and we don't change or don't become aware of the important role we play in the relationship we have with ourselves.

Talk to yourself like you would encourage a young woman or child, imagine the loving words you would hear each day. Stop trying to fit in, you were not mean't to do that, you were mean't to stand out. Understand that not everyone is going to like you, get you or treat you kindly.... You can't change them, you can only change how you proceed and who you show up to be each day. Also, it is not your job to please everyone, once we get that, we get more space, time and freedom to be in places that are good for the body/mind/soul (it is a feeling, and trusting this is a way to develop discernment and trust in yourself. This is not hard to figure out, you just have to be in touch with yourself, your vision, your values and develop this trust in yourself, your intuition and wisdom. You intuitively know, it is a feeling and rather than try and get everyone on board (impossible), let go of others, let them do their thing and you do yours, and the right people will be by your side.

Your spirit holds so much power, be present with it, and rather than numb it away, invite it in.

Our worthiness or “enough ness” comes from within, it is God given and it is also part of our DNA, it is in you. Even so, we can look outside of us at times for validation, and then we question ourselves and in that, give away our power.

Am I enough?

Did I do enough?

Will they like me enough?

Have I performed enough?

Is this enough?

The Super Woman BS has to go…. We can be powerful, we can be impactful, we can be ambitious but also, we can be truthful with the unrealistic expectations we create and the bar we raise when we are This is coming from the girl who strived for years. Hard work is important, as is performance to some degree and having vision and goal setting is key....

However, none of it matters if you are not true to yourself.

It will not help you be happy. We need to give ourselves and each other permission to exhale, permission to not perform, permission to be vulnerable and powerful, because we are both. It’s okay to rest, it’s okay to retreat, in fact, it is what brings us back to balance, and when we are in a state of balance (feeling grounded) we feel more at peace. When we feel more at peace, that is where we feel happy, joyful and it is creating more space to feel, to experience and less time performing and pushing, which is not a healthy lifestyle, we need balance, and we need our nervous system and coping mechanisms to be supported, in healthy and mindful ways.

When we step out of the race, and let go of the pace (keeping up with others) we honor ourselves, we honor each other and we honor what it means to create a life you love, not an imitation of someone else’s or the expectations you feel you must meet.

You've got to get to know what lights your soul on fire. You've got to really get clear on what you want more of and what you want less of in your life. You've got to get brutally honest with yourself, and lovingly, guide yourself toward what your body/mind and soul is telling you (not what you see on line)—this is not over night work, this is intentional, wise, introspective and daily work, small steps, simple shifts and building a strong foundation, a grateful heart and positive mindset (not to a perfectly positive mindset, that is not real life).

Cultivating and reframing how we live...

You don't "have" to do anything. You just have to pause, get curious, get clear on your vision and values, and build from there. Faster is not better. Humility is, as is vulnerability and honesty.... That does not mean we need to focus on our fears or insecurities, it just means we all have them, we all have our strengths and weaknesses and the compassion we have for ourselves and others, the better we will pave the way for the next generation. So how do we achieve, or create or get better, yet do less? We rewrite the rules, we discover more about ourselves, we ask questions and we listen to the voice within. We get to know what inspires us, what heals us, what helps us, and we are brave enough to create that, not what we think you want us to be. We create a better relationship with ourselves, and we commit to this relationship as a priority in our lives.

Stop doing more.....

Pause. Breathe. Exhale.

Do what brings you joy....

yes, I said it and I mean it.... design your day in a way that you feel aligned with your best self, your best self is love, she is hope, she is cheerful, she is authentic—she also is quiet, reflective, needs support and time for restoration. She also is whole: meaning she has her strengths and she has her challenges in body/mind/spirit, we all do.

I know we want to numb it, run away from it, hide it, outsmart it, push it down or make it go away..... We need to heal it and that begins by welcoming it in, living with grace and compassion and feeling all the feels (we sit with our emotions, which is both brutal and beautiful).

Build a life that honors who you are and who you want want to be. It is not a different person, it is already in you. Remove the layers, the layers of doubt, the layers of expectations, the layers of not good enough, the layers of stuff that you have been carrying too long. Drop the weight, it is not yours to carry, know you can hand that over and in doing so, you open up space for renewal.

You are here to love. You are here to love others, but we can''t love others fully until we love ourselves. Loving ourselves is listening to ourselves. At HIPP, we lead with love.

We lead our families, our lives, our careers/work, our communities and each other. Not everyone is in this space, so stop trying to win others over, you do you and the like minded people will be there with you. Boundaries are Beautiful and self care is the key to how women live, because if we don't take care of our foundation, we are not going to be able to build the life we want. Rome was not built in a day and neither were you.

This work takes time. This work takes a positive mindset and attitude. This work is based on love, and it is hard in a world of fear and uncertainty. Don't let that harden you. Stand with me, hands on HIPP. Let's lock arms, standing in our power, in our worthiness, in our truth, in our love. There is enough room for everyone to stand, in fact, the more we collaborate and support each other, the more we RISE. #pamguyerspeaks #livinghipp #redefinehowwelive #retreat #restandrestore #pesonaldevelopment #leadwithlove #progress #positivity #love

It is so hard leaving home, moving on but it is part of the circle of life.

As my husband and his sister recently sold their parents home which has been called home for over 60 years, I am feeling all the feels, some of the wounds I felt in leaving my childhood home. In the updated version of Living HIPP, I share even more about losing my Dad and how that was a Trauma experience in my life (unexpected, although years of a serious heart condition and his sudden loss at a young age)—I share more and explore that more in the book, but the fact remains, we do somehow go on, and while we need to heal and honor our grief of letting go, we also need to heal and to be gentle with ourselves as we do so.

Moving out of my childhood home was traumatic, but at that point I was so full of grief, that we just did it.

My parents put there house on the market, accepted an offer and 2 weeks before the closing my Dad had a massive heart attack at home, and he died that day. The grief of that loss was and is a big part of who I am, it was so hard, but I did move forward, some how, some way, when I didn’t think it was possible. The fact that we had to move out of our home 2 weeks after was insanity, but my Mom was ZERO drama, she could have extended it, but she stuck to plan. It is so hard to move things that were last placed by those we love, I will never ever forget that deep pain.

The week after his services, I will never forget my Mom and I taking my Dad’s box of cereal (he loved his cereal every morning, it was just his and his daily treat). We empty out the box in the trash, crying, both of us sobbing, because we knew the reality of this, it was the end of something so big in our lives, and the love of our lives. We did it, with all hands on deck (all my siblings) we packed up the house, and made it special for the next family (they were not the enemies, this was our home, and we left it with the best karma and juju and while none of us wanted to see it go, it was a financial need for my parents (and now just my Mom). It’s hard, there is no getting around this, it is just hard stuff, that most of us experience at some point in life. My Dad would say (about selling the home) “it’s just wood & glass, home is where we are” (to try and make us feel better about this home sale). This helped me make moves in our RE journey, and making a home is, has been and will always be one of my things (home is not a just a place, it is an experience and a feeling). However, when we leave a childhood home, especially one that has been in a family for a long time. It is just hard stuff, many know this feeling, we all experience that difficulty of a life stage, it is sad, but also, we do get through it, as our loved ones want us to.

In this situation, I feel my own loss, my own memories of this family, my kids growing up at “The Bumpa’s”, and that second home for all of us to retreat to.

My Dad always said “it is just wood and glass” meaning that home really is where your heart is and where your people are. It is so true and a great reminder to all of us as we navigate change, be it our own homes, our family homes or the homes we raised our family in. I became accustomed to this when we sold our first few homes—I would get the itch to move every 3 to 4 years—I loved the process of buying a new house and creating it into a home. I love all things home, from design to creating a vibe and also having it be the place your shoulders come down, home to me is sacred and should be a reflection of your spirit and the love you have. The hardest move was years ago when we sold our dream home where we stayed the longest, over 8 years—it is what my kids consider their childhood home. This place was so special to us, we loved the location, we loved the renovation we did, and I had this feeling that it was time to move on, as we had intentions of a beach house, either a a second or primary home some day. Looking back, it was all mean’t to happen, and here we are, living in a primary home we moved to 4 years ago, it is the one by the beach—we knew this would happen, we just did not know when and where.

Something really strange has happened in this time of empty nesting and reaching our vision and dream to live in a coastal community by the beach. We had the opportunity to possibly purchase my in laws home, and while there were so many reasons it might make sense, we truly love where we are and did not want to leave. My usual itch to move is not here and that feels weird, it is this knowing and this grounded feeling of being where we are suppose to be, and knowing this place is special. This was a change for us, and we both feel this way, while the kids love it, it is really Charlie and I that feel so at home and grateful and blessed to call this home.

Home is not just a place, home is a feeling. It has always been important to me, almost like a hobby but also true passion, making a house a home. We never know where the future will take us and also at some point might we think it is too big for us, I don’t know……. For now, and for the foreseeable future, we are beyond grateful to call this home, and our investments and decisions over the years in Real Estate have paid off. I always want my home to be a place where my kids walk in the door, and their shoulders go down and they get that feeling of home. Home is where your story begins, and not where it ends. XO

This post is personal and it is shared in the name of creating a Life You Love. I love life, I love love (yes, I love kindness/love/good people, they rock my world). I love my family, friends and happy moments of pure joy and laughter. I love deep conversations, authenticity, laughing, making people laugh, and simple joys and inspiration every day. I am blessed beyond measure, I have already experienced so much goodness. I am passionate about my family, our love, our relationships because I put my heart and soul into all. Each stage and decade I learn and grow, and all my experiences (the good times and the challenging ones) were built around me growing, stalling, looking for answers, and having to trust myself and coach myself. My biggest tool is Yoga on and off the mat (among other important choices)--but that is just part of my story of happiness, inspiration, productivity & peace.

Pam Guyer is..... (people's words, not mine)

Dynamic, Magnetic, Funny, Kind, Loving and the real deal.

Best Speaker, Motivator, Inspirational and Passionate.

Heart Centered Leader, Mama Bear, Advocate, Loyal, Positive, Encourager, Funny, Cheerleader, what ever she touches turns to Gold (well, not really but I love that people have described me that way). Spiritual, Brave, Strong, Relatable, Role Model & Mentor.

She's our Oprah. She's Magic.

I know that girl, she is part of me and it's hard to write the glowing things that people say, but it is important that I am clear on these things, because other people (OP) will say other things (we need to remember what other people think or say is none of our business, that's on them/their stuff).

I am a Dreamer, Believer, Manifester, Doer, Intuitive (high EQ) Champion/Cheerleader, Spiritual Leader, Whole Human.

I am a WHOLE HUMAN. You are too! This is Authentic Leadership & Living....

What you don't see behind my cheerful smile, my beautiful & blessed life, my positive spirit and my post worthy pictures are my struggles, setbacks, sensitivity & successes as it relates to MH.

MH stands for Mental Health in case you did not pick up on that, it is something we all have and we all benefit from addressing and accommodating in our lives. We all have it be it situational or baseline, it hides in our busy lives, fear, need to belong/accepted, denial, distancing and numbing.

You don't see these things, but I deal, manage, accommodate them most days, some days more than others. Living HIPP is not this happy sappy brand, it is actually tools, rituals and practices that promote self care, positivity, and a proven framework to build a life you love based on You. It is a road map and blueprint to help us accommodate our own health (mind/body/spirit) and to lean into our best life (always lean positive or present) while embracing the whole human, because we all have these parts of us that make us brilliantly shine (but many stay in the dark of their thoughts and judgement). Living HIPP means more to me now than it did a decade ago, I created what I did not know I would need more than ever. But this is not about me, this is important for all of us, at least those of us that want to live our best life & live with love, joy, peace and the unknown. These are tools and a proven framework, daily practices & rituals (hope and healing) and also giving yourself grace, rest, and compassion when needed--women are desperate for more of this and I am here to share it.

These MH issues I shared are not me, they are just a part of me, and at times they are dormant, but other times they can be triggered and I need to accommodate--my daily practices are like preventive care--it just helps me live better. My lifestyle and choices on the daily also help to accommodate, because without intention and action, I would not be able to RISE and answer the call to show up as my best self, which is the whole human, all of it!

In the past decade, I have had to assess, accept, treat, love and integrate the parts of me I have wanted to run from, because they are more fragile, vulnerable, it's easier to be performing than it is to just be (neither are wrong, it is just a state of self awareness).

BTS and part of my Living HIPP (and the reason behind it) is accommodating my own Mental Health journey.

Behind my smile is also Anxiety, ADHD, Addictive Personality (hello Addiction), Depression--I am not those things, but they are part of me and something I am aware of every single day. I don't focus on the problems and these things do not define me, I address them, treat them and nurture them (because avoiding them does not allow us to grow). For the majority of my life I had to work extra hard for everything (yes, I was a hard worker) but having serious ADHD (which I did not know or treat appropriately) demanded so much (it's exhausting) as I reflect on it. I wonder how many people are brushing off their "things" and trying so hard to be "normal". What if I told you your life will become better, when you begin this work (and it is not overnight). It's worth it and YOU are worth it!

I focus on gratitude, my blessings, feel good vibes, simple joys, authenticity & wholeness. I equally practice and have a tool box that helps with healing, awareness, habits, behaviors, mindset, spirituality and mind/body care.

Why am I sharing this?

I am here to inspire millions (I know that to my core), how can I inspire you and the world without sharing the whole picture, my whole human experience and Living HIPP became the lifestyle & framework to support not only my Mental Health but to live a life I love.

Mic Drop.

Peace. Love. Heal. Be Real.

Do you need to go on SM and say this? NOOOOOO, this is your invitation to get to know yourself better, to accept the whole you, to expand in your beauty, to love the shadows and bring them into the light.

I am not titles, brands, companies, clubs, my strengths/weaknesses or my setbacks/challenges or what other people think. I don't fit into any narrative out there, I can't force one school or thought or the other, I have my own thoughts, and I want to shine light on this in a positive and helpful way. I can't try and fit into an ideal or area, I can only share my truth and tell my story. I am me.

I am committed to living how, where and the way I want (HIPP) on my own terms (FREE). I am also committed to inspire you (all of you) to do the same. The most important relationship you have is the one you have with yourself. Be there for her, listen, take action, surrender, be brave, know that we are all fighting a battle you don't see. Don't focus on that, flip it on it's head (acceptance) with love, care and being self aware. Darling Girl, your love, your heart, your spirit is your superpower! Let's unleash it like never before, let's embrace the things you have been avoiding and let's make room for the amazing life you have and to truly let your light shine. Need I remind you that your light and my light and her light is what makes this world a brighter, happier and kinder place. Stand with your hands on your HIPP! XO #livinghipp

Dear Pam:

You have been filling people up, helping them believe in themselves, find and feel their worth, lifting them up and raising the bar on how women and girls care for ourselves and each other. It is a heavy burden as you have learned, because not everyone has the same spirit and belief system you do—it is both inspiring and at times a challenge. Despite that, you continue to advocate for women supporting women, and also you are learning there is a learning curve, and your job is not to convince everyone, it is to align with the people that share the same beliefs as you.

In all of this work, you are brought back to the number one lesson, and the importance of having a practice where you love yourself first. Self Care and Self Love are essential to living a happy, abundant, positive and spirited life.

Your ability to reinvent and reimagine is key to your growth, it also can be an example to others, we never arrive, we are always invited to assess where we are and how we are, knowing we are empowered to create change and also to embrace choice—and knowing we are where we are suppose to be. You have reinvented yourself multiple times, and at this phase in life, you are now reimagining what mid life and empty nesting looks like, while you are in the sweet spot of kids flying home, and not fully out of the nest, you have time to look back, to be present and to reflect on the wonderment of life. This is a beautiful time in your life, don’t waste it over the angst you will feel or the old beliefs or feeling which at one time were important to you. Embrace this time as you are, and have the courage to use your voice like never before, but before you do that, make self care, self love and balance in your life a priority. While not a word many thought leaders want to use, you understand how important it is and how women need to hear it more. You are brave bringing up a word that is misunderstood and not embraced by many modern day women, “balance”. Yet your heart desires it, your nervous system requires it, and your wisdom at this age has learned that ambitious endeavors are good, but living in the present and taking time to pause, to breathe to be is what matters most. The magic is in the moment and you are the magic, you are the one you have always been waiting for. It is your second act, and let me remind you it is not an act, it is the real thing, and time is the most precious gift you have, as is your health: mental, physical and spiritual. Feed your soul with good vibes, feed your body with things that are good for it, feed your mind with positive thoughts and affirmations. Remember, the most important conversation you have in your lifetime is the conversation you have with yourself. Speak love, speak encouragement, speak spiritually, speak positive, speak truth, to those around you. More importantly, speak this to yourself and practice the power in that, words have power and how we speak to ourselves matters, it matter a lot.

Pam, I am so proud of you, I know your heart, I know your big love, you love: love and that is one of your super powers. Not everyone is on this same wavelength, and that is a reminder to serve those around you first, the ones that appreciate you, respect you and love you.

You preach positive living, but you know it is not about always being positive, happy or cheerful, you are real, you encourage all the feels, always keep it real, with yourself and others. God gave you a spirit and energy to rally people, your voice matters, share it generously and widely. Keep moving forward with good intentions, always promoting progress over perfection, as we are humans that have emotions, opinions and our own story—this compassion is important, give it to yourself as much as you give it to others. You have known what it is like to be loved by many and also you have experienced the ugly truth around the work we still need to do, that work is not your responsibility, your responsibility is to practice self care, self love and to inspire this daily practice in others. It is time for women to give themselves permission to slow down and not rush and race through life, busy is not better, it’s a distraction, be the gatekeeper of your precious time and energy.

Let’s talk about love, I love you. I sincerely love you and your heart, and your love for love, you love those in your life deeply and powerfully, and you are loyal and protect those in your circle. Continue to be unapologetic about being you, vibrant, happy, joyful and fun, alongside vulnerable and time for restoration, healing and time for reflection. While you love to laugh, be light and be fun, you have tremendous depth and your soul is meant to shine, your light is bright, let it light the fire within and radiate out in the world. Keep being you, keep sharing your positive vibe, keep standing up when others try and bring you down, and remember, that has nothing to do with you. You knew since the moment you understood your place in the world that you were special, you might not have all of the credentials but you have a spiritual knowing, invitation and voice inside that does not require validation, it is in your DNA. Your spirit is big, your energy is bright, and you have a quiet side that you like to turn down the noise around you, and tune into the wisdom within. Daily practices of gratitude, yoga and journaling/writing are tenants to how you live HIPP. You crave and seek balance, but in order to be your best self and to live HIPP, you require balance, which is a daily practice, and requires your facilitation and permission.

You are a blessed woman, seriously, think about the life you live, the love that surrounds you and the deep love you feel inside, this is your gift, this is your dharma and it is important for you to stay centered and grounded in this space. You have worked very hard to be where you are, your hard work is no longer the grind, you did that, the hard work is the ability to not be and do all the things, it is taking care of yourself first. You have learned to say no to people and things that no longer serve you. You have been able to build boundaries better than you ever have in your life. You have learned to (and continue to learn) to not be a people pleaser, you genuinely like to please others, but that can lead to a need for validation and acceptance (you have a seat at the table, because you built your own). You speak truth and try to do so with some sincerity, this will always be an art, and one that gets better when you create more time and space in your life to be, rather than just do. You have fulfilled many dreams, your life story has been about vision, desire, creating, working hard and leading with your heart. There is no longer a race, and there is not any competition, the only competitor you have is the person you were yesterday, continue with that spirit, not being the best but to be better than you were. It is time to play, time to do the things that bring great joy. Only you know what they are, and it is only you that can create that in your life. Laughter is your love language, continue to laugh, to sing, to dance and to let your spirit soar, it is ageless and timeless. Love is how you live, if you don’t love it, don’t do it. You find such satisfaction in the simple joys in life, keep doing the small things each day that bring great joy. You have enough love in your heart to share with many, share it, unapologetically, it is important to do, and it is important to teach. But remember this and don’t ever forget to love yourself first, love bomb all over yourself, because you deserve it, being kind so often and generous to others, keep doing and being that, but also invest in yourself, put your health, heart, spirit, mental health and well being first.

Your vision has been to age gracefully, you are ding it and growing into the woman you knew you would always be, it is a beautiful thing. You are present, you are joyful, you care about those around you, you care for yourself. You love beauty, and inner beauty remains to be the most important part to your beauty regimen. You are passionate, and voice your opinion, always do so with good intentions and when you make mistakes, own it and make things better.

Your younger version used to try and dull down or not shine, because of the opinions of others. You learned their opinions have nothing to do with you. Shine bright, lead with love, let your essence and your beauty be iconic in the life you live. You are a beautiful woman living a beautiful life, while you feel a tug for a bigger purpose, this is your purpose right here, to become your higher self, and in doing so, you inspire others to do the same. You are a visionary, you look beyond circumstance or probability and you believe in more. You manifest your dreams and also understand that it is not all in your control. You believe in magic, that zest for life, effervescent feeling and you create magic, it is within you. Learning to balance this magic with mindful moments is the art you are creating, the canvas is blank, the colors are bright and the artist is you, and you are here to paint a beautiful picture and inspire others to do the same.

The wisdom that you hold, is the anchor and foundation of how you live. You learned from the best, and it is your responsibility to continue their legacy, and to produce an even better example for the next generation to follow.

Every day is a gift, stay in gratitude, continue with a positive attitude and surround yourself with those that embrace this spirit of kindness and humility. We are not racing anyone, we are on a journey, and it is the scenic route that you will enjoy the most. Keep sharing your spirit, stay the course on living HIPP and know how loved you are, you are surrounded in the most precious, spiritual, authentic love. Go where the love is, because that is where you belong. You Belong.

XO

Pamela (your mother’s daughter)

There are different schools of thought around Dry January, and I think there is valid information in all schools of thought, but I think it is important to respect various points of view. I am sharing my POV because I have my own feelings around this topic, and I am sensitive not everyone thinks this way and that is okay. There are so many options, programs, ways of thinking out there, no one is wrong, it is about finding what is right for you.

In traditional recovery circles or those rooted from this that are now more flexible and open minded, there is this inherent thinking and dare I say shaming that exits and this is not a recovery issue, I believe it is a personal growth one. There are many leaders in this space that paved the way beyond a 12 step program, I thank them all, and I am grateful as they spoke to my heart, as I began my journey in this space. I have to say, that recovery has traditionally been dogmatic, and we are trying to get away from that, and also, it is important to realize that the old ways are not necessarily the best ways. I believe all programs and people have merit and they work for the people that relate and vibe with them. I actually like and rely on learning from everyone, and I can say that every single leader and voice in this space is someone I have learned from, and I thank them for that. I also had to find my own way, but I could not do it alone. I feel like I came in the back door with recovery because I was already immersed in personal development, my entire professional career (30 years now) was dedicated to Leadership & Personal Development and Training, so speaking, writing, and practicing this in both business and in life is what I have done and have focused on all while being a Mom and raising a family. There were times when I felt like I was drinking too much or I wanted to cut back and I did, but any traditional programs or linear thinking/shame sent me running for the hills, it actually worked against my ability to embrace all of it. I learned to take what I want and leave the rest but still, I had moments of thinking, I like my life better, because I was not trying to escape my life, I was trying to learn how to cope with Anxiety, ADHD, stress, motherhood and PTSD (which I did not know then, but I know now).

I believe respecting all Paths and that one size doesn’t fit all is prudent and necessary in Recovery, as is an open mind, compassion, and understanding different people need different things.

Let's get one fact straight and out of the way, Sober is Better. While I do not use the word Sober (because I don’t like it, if I like it down the road I will, but I have not liked it for myself for over a decade). I think most would agree, and they just used it because it is the only word really, and for many it is a badge of honor, as it should be.

I am not new to this scene, in fact, when I started this journey, Dry January was not a thing. In some circles I might be considered the biggest loser, because I resisted different parts of this and with that, slips and going back, this took me longer to grasp. To be honest, I did not love all aspects of it, and I still don’t, but I have let go of all of that, I take lessons and wisdom and have blazed my own trail. Living HIPP was created 12 years ago, back in 2009/10 when I got into Yoga and changed my relationship with Alcohol. For the first time in my adult life, I put myself first and I prioritized mind/body/spirit. While I had taken breaks from drinking, and got to the point where I was so limited and mindful, that worked until it didn’t (here is the thing, it was something I would need to deal with down the road, and that is what happened when I went through major change and loss). My journey was a dance, it was a 2 step, it was back and forth and while I don’t recommend it, I can also say I am glad I did begin what I call “Discovery”, because had I not, I would have had a serious Rock Bottom, I don’t doubt that one bit, that is just the way this works.

While living HIPP is more than drinking, it is about living a Happy, Inspired, Productive and Peaceful Life (why on God’s earth would we not want that or think that is not possible, it is and it is how I have lived and created so much in my life. Happy is not this state of everything is great, it is a choice in life, and life is hard, but we can choose to create our happy daily, and that is what I have been working on all this time. I was so excited a decade ago when I wrote the book Living HIPP, because I thought I could teach the world how to be happier, kinder, and to live with empowerment and intention as opposed to shame and oppression. What I did not know is the person who would need it most a few years later was me, when life blew up, and I had to climb out of the situation I found myself in, and navigate years of significant loss, it is part of life at middle age when losing our parents. All that to say I used drinking again to calm the nerves, to sooth the pain, and to cover up the depression and anxiety I found I was experiencing. I was not a big problem drinker, in fact, I was fun and also did not seem that bad, I would just over drink at times, but I knew it was holding me back, and at middle age, my body was not handling it as it did when I was younger.

I had tried different communities, some of which I loved and some I did not care for, and I was resistant yet hopeful, I did not like how the camps were so separate and also some recovery people or programs focused on the problems rather than focused on the vision and values (all while healing what needs to be healed). I began to see that my HIPP life had a formula (and being AF was part of it) and it wasn’t until I made it part of my foundation that I truly found freedom. Today, I feel freedom because I walked away for good and I just don’t drink Alcohol anymore, but I do insist on fun, I insist on inclusion and I insist on writing my own story, my own rules because while it is awkward at first, and it is damn hard work, it also does not need to be punitive. While I am an extrovert and introvert (and my introvert used to love the social lubrication), once I learned how to soothe myself and be socially, I insist on being included and having fun. I am AF but my life is not, and therefore I look at this and experience it through a different lense. I would imagine if things got worst (and I know eventually that is where I or anyone would end up) that I might think differently, but I sure as hell am not going to be silent or told that this is the way “sobriety” is done and be treated like the new kid on the block. I am not the new kid, I have been here all along, I have been here longer than many on line right now, and to be clear, I take this seriously because I have been around Alcohol Addiction my entire life. My Dad was “recovered” as they said back then, but basically, he was in Recovery and helped many people through AA which was the only option back then. My brother is almost 40 years Sober, 40 flipping years, and he does not say that or act better than anyone else, he reminds people that talk with him that we are all in the same day, it is all about the day and the choice (with compassion and humility as opposed to ranking more years sober). Longevity is important, but it does not qualify a person to think they have it all figured out, none of us do. Likewise, I observe people and having done this work, recovery in a different form, we all have room to grow. I believe when we truly love ourselves, we don’t judge others, we don’t shame others, we don’t need to be better than others. We just need to do what is best for us and so be it, that is it. It is okay to have preferences, I know I sure do. People in my life that I care about drink, I don’t judge them and I don’t think I am any better, far from it, I just ask them to accept me for me and I accept them for them and we can both leave shame out of our space and lift each other up, we can also raise a glass together. Friend can have alcohol in theirs, and I can have my festive drink without Alcohol, inclusion and integration are important to me, because it is my life and when I used to drink, I did not want to be told what to do and how to be, in fact, I still don’t.

I made my mistakes and I made good choices and while my only regret is that this did not click sooner, that is okay, because now I am sharing even more, opening up more space for the conversation of Discovery, which is normalizing looking at our drinking or cutting back or removing as a wellness choice. One leader in this space used these words that helped me “This is Your Thing”, and while I did not want it to be years ago, the fact is, it was and it was always going to be and it was a matter of both acceptance but more importantly to me, freedom. The reason being I am happiest now, I truly feel in my 2.0 (higher version) and this is the only way). I don’t need to shame others or think my way or the highway…. I just need to do what we all need to do whether or not we are drinking, I need to change my thinking. I also need to use my voice as a another voice added to the empowerment of better living, and I don’t replace anyone’s voice, I just add my own. There is enough room for everyone and quite frankly, the more people that embrace AF be it Dry Jan, or the others, the more we can educate and begin to change how to live. I am not anti-alcohol, in fact, I still serve it in my home with guests (and I have no shame in that). I changed my relationship with it to feel better and live better, not to focus on everything that is wrong with me, that in my opinion is what is wrong with some recovery circles but perhaps it isn’t wrong, perhaps it is just different. I choose to focus on my vision and align that with my values, I focus on being me, present, clear, vibrant and happy, and to heal the parts of me that need to be nurtured. I have learned that mental health and restoration and self care are and have to be a priority in my life (and I would argue every woman’s life).

I think what might be helpful too for some doing Dry January or taking a 30 day break is to stop thinking how hard this is (which is normal) and waiting for that drink on the 1st of the month. Think about how good it is, learn more about what it does to your body, learn ways to replace drinking with another way to calm your nervous system, let this be your time to change how you live, and see how it feels to wake up each morning without Alcohol in your body, and the better sleep, better skin, better patience, better focus, better productivity and time. It is hard and that is normal, but beyond the hard, look for the heart shots, they are everywhere.

I created a lifestyle brand 12 years ago that address looking at what you consume, and Alcohol and the reduction or removal was part of that. I can tell you all these years later that it is in fact the secret to my HIPP Life, and the only way I can truly show up as I want. You might not be there yet, and that is okay. I cannot emphasize this enough that this is a process, and we can’t be in our sober towers looking down thinking everyone needs to make it happen overnight and that it is black and white (it is life and death for many, but lets meet people where they are at). Perhaps take that message to some but not all. They are not there yet, we can only share (and share our stories, they are real), but my story (and God willing it won’t be) is not one that I am going to scream to the world to get into Recovery, stop drinking and that is the only way. Nope, I don’t think that helps people unless they have tried. I say try, I say take a break, I say discover, I say learn more, I say pay attention to how you feel, really, and I encourage some books and Podcasts. Now, someone that has some momentum and has built time and/or some trying again and they want to be AF, my tone is not as liberal and my conviction is even more…. At this point, I encourage that the work is no longer taking a break, it is the break away, it is breaking up with Alcohol which is making less important in your life. I also explain that it is the best decision, and when you approach it in an empowered way as opposed to a punitive way, you break free.

Living HIPP encourages 30 day breaks. Obviously, we all say, walk away for good, that is best case scenario, but for many, it takes a few tries and the sooner you get this and embrace empowerment and not torture the sooner you can begin to live an even HIPPER Life.

I was beyond thrilled to see that Taylor Swift earned Person of the Year, she deserves it and all that she does in this world makes it a better, HIPPER & happier place. She stands up for others, she stands up for herself, she has experienced major set backs and has been rejected, misunderstood, attacked and humiliated in public, which all has nothing to do with her. She is HIPP in every way, she leads with her heart, she has a generous and caring spirit and she makes our world a better place—can you imagine what our world would be like if most women lived this way?

I actually believe in a world where many can, I do believe that if people want positive change in their life, they can create it. They can also create a life they love, and in this process, grow personally, spiritually and radiate that positive vibe out in the world. In order to rise, I believe we have to fall in some way, otherwise, we would not know pain, desire, and the important relationship you build with yourself, it needs to be the priority relationship in your life.

When we let go of OOP (other people’s opinions) and begin to trust ourselves more, believe in our potential and let our light shine, that is how we rise (and (I believe we rise higher than we expected).

Not to take away from Taylor, I applaud her and I love her spirit, energy and the hope and kindness and messages she puts out in the world, and I think she would agree that she shares this with YOU.

Yes, you, person of the year!

What if we select you as Person of the Year, 2024?

What would you need to change to be her?

How would you need to grow?

Who in your life does not fit into your higher vibe and authenticity?

Who do you want to surround yourself with, this gets to the core of your values…

This right here is your opportunity to write out who you need to be in 2024 to rise to your potential and be another Cover Story. We don’t want to change who you are or fix anything, your essence is already in you. We just need to remove the BS you believed, you put up with, you like many women think about and you create this whole story in your head. It is time to write a new story, and this is one of hope, inspiration, authenticity, kindness, connection and leaving behind what no longer serves you (you already know what that is), just accept it!

I know you're afraid to do this because what if you don’t live up to it? So what, nothing happens from stalling, you just need to get clear on your Vision and your Values (the values are a key driver to full alignment, authenticity and genuinely creating a life you love. What if you fail? So what, what if you fly, you have wings you know, and they have been waiting for you and calling you.

Darling Girl…. Please stop trying to fit in, you don’t, you are mean’t to stand out, and to stand up!

Stand up for yourself, the inner self that radiates all that is vibrant, positive, magical and good.

What if you don’t feel it or you feel down, or not enough or judged? You will feel that, and you will have your moments and that is okay, it helps shape who you become. You will learn what you need, how you restore the mind and body and what sets your soul on fire. You will learn to be self aware and also how to practice more self care, you will become the person you have been waiting for, it’s been you all along darling girl.

Is it all bright lights, on stage and high energy? No, actually, a lot of it is behind closed doors, it is your spiritual work, your ability to retreat and restore and learning how to practice compassion for self and others. It will require you to peel back the layers you built around you, and all the stuff that truly does not represent you, the beautiful and magical you. Let’s uncover her. Let’s allow her to fly, lets allow her to fall, lets pick her up, dust her off and not tell the world about her struggles, lets shine a light on her essence, on her amazing soul, and on what makes her shine!

In order for us to rewrite our stories, we can’t edit and throw away what we have written so far, we build upon it, we leverage it as lessons and we take it with us, with confidence and walk into our purpose like never before.

How do you know who your 2.0 is, your higher self?

You need to get quiet. You need to stop looking around you. You need to stop being a copy cat, be inspired but let's take that and find you. It is that quiet whisper in your heart that says, you are made for more.

It is time for you to rise and it is time for you to get crystal clear on your vision and values and in Living HIPP, this is our framework that we create and curate based on ourselves, not a blueprint for everyone to use, it is a blueprint methodology and you customize and curate to fit you. The wonderful imperfect, beautiful, loving, deeply spirited person that hides behind a busy schedule, a need to fit in, a fear of failure or success, and bottom line, a feeling of not being enough. My darling, that is an old belief, an old story and one that has settled deep inside of you. Let’s gently welcome it to leave, and make space for your HIPP spirit and all the good that resides in you. We need you to step into this space, and we remind you, that you are not alone. We are doing this and we are doing it together.

Dream big about 2024 and stepping into the person you are mean’t to be! XO

Ben, lmk if you can put this pic on that frame “person of the year”. TY!

Life is the greatest teacher and such a beautiful space of growth, grief, love and fear. Celebrating our First Date and where we are now, it is so rich, and once again, one of my life defining moments of Hopes & Dreams hidden behind Fear and the Unknown. The time I finally said “yes” to my friend Mike who aggressively insisted I go on a date with his friend Charlie. It was out of my comfort zone, I did not want to go, I did this as a favor to Mike, not knowing it was a blessing to me.

Pam 28 Years Ago:

29 years old, love life DOA (break up/heartache)

Grieving, sudden loss of my Dad the year before, Sad

Living at my Mom's in law apartment, being her companion

Commuting into Boston, 3 hours in car round trip

Working at Deaconess Hospital, Recruiter & getting Masters

Got out of all the Debt I accumulated, saving $ for future

Driving a GEO (economy car), because my sports car was a financial disaster

Working hard all week, going to school in the evening (2 jobs)

Party Girl on the weekend, no Talbots Dresses allowed! :)

Pam Today, 28 years later:

Married, Pam, you are going to marry this dude!

Mom of 3, Pam, you are going to have the most amazing kids, a daughter you will adore and two sons that you will own your heart forever

Pam, you are going to move to North Shore, and all your hard work getting out of debt and then saving, will be the down payment to owning a home.

You will build 3 homes and renovate one, your home will be the place you do what you love, design, create, be cozy, and host your family & friends

You will be a stay at home mom, and realize, you need something for you. You will start a business in DS reluctantly, and create more success than you can imagine. It will be the vehicle in which you grow & discover your purpose. You begin to inspire others with your Vision, your Voice and teach and lead many. You were and are meant for more.

You will experience business challenges, and learn how to begin again. You will learn to find your voice as a Mom, and you will live in a community you have always dreamed of, you will travel the world. You will learn how to create success in business and family, you learned how to thrive on systems, routines, and building out a team--you will learn the importance of support and removing the image of "doing it all", you write a different story, and are unapologetic about creating the rules and not following them. You will have AuPairs that become daughters, you will have friends that become family, you will care deeply for others, which is being true to you, love will continue to lead the way. Love is at the essence of who you are and what you do. You will heal old wounds, you will see past experiences as Trauma--you will grow as a woman, professionally, personally and you will not abandon who you are and where you came from—you understand the value, and you create a masterpiece with that and who you are becoming, it is the best of both worlds. You will use it as part of your foundation, and your values will be your North Star, that and your Vision. You will transform at different stages and mid life will become your playground to discover and explore. You will discover Yoga in your 40's, and completely go from workaholic to seeking balance and peace. You will crave this balance & peace as foundation in your life, you realize it is important to who you are and how you live.

Your spirit is vital and it is the one thing that you know intimately, you will brand it, write a book about it and you will inspire others to create a Happy, Inspired, Productive and Peaceful Life. At mid age you will begin shedding layers of doing and you will give birth more to being. You will bravely address mental health, and realize it is something we all need to review and accommodate. You will struggle with over doing everything from drinking, eating, working, thinking and this will begin a process of discovery for you--you will open your heart to recovery, but you will rewrite the rules for you and others without tearing down what works for many. As a middle age woman, you will have experienced various levels of anxiety, ADHD, addiction and depression (it is a spectrum and you insist we acknowledge we are all on the spectrum and we address it proactively, as part of women’s health and leadership--you will ask for help, you will lead your discovery of learning more, accommodation and refuse to focus on just your challenges, you know the power of belief, mindset, vision and routine and rituals. You merge recovery with your years of personal development and you also create a space and movement called “Discovery”, you invite all women and people into the important process of self assessment, self care, self love and self aware, you speak your truth with the desire to inspire more, heal more and recover more space, and rewrite the story and level the playing field on topics that are tabu and need a spotlight shined on them, in a very inclusive way that encourages progress over perfection.

You begin to share more, and talk about the things we don't talk about, not because you want to, because you have to. Creating a life you love or happiness is not a grand place as described by some who just have not had the depths of Joy that you have. It is okay to have both, you know the valley well, and it is the peaks and the climb that get you out of it, that is the vision, hopes and dreams too. You learn that life does not happen to us, it happens for us, even in the situations we just can't bare or explain, we need to accept that and also that life is hard, but it is also so very beautiful and joyful. You become passionate not only about home but also working from home. You value flexibility, family time and this becomes the value that needs to be part of your work and life--you inspire others to create this and also to create a Vision for their lives, based on their hopes, dreams and discontents. You do this over and over, and at mid life, you have a better view and legit experience. You manifest many dreams and they do come true, you also have to navigate more difficult times including the loss of your precious mom and your beloved Bumpa's, and your dog Brady. You are a dog person now, you used to be afraid of dogs, but now you are crazy about them, you now focus on your cockapoo's, and enjoy a beautiful life with them on WBL. You have the most incredible relationships with your kids, as a family you are #goals, not because you are lucky, but because you and your husband will create that as a team, you will mess up but you will also put family at the core of everything you do, the investment will pay off tenfold. Your kids have the life you wanted so badly for them to have, they will have the same love and values that you grew up with, and a loving home. They will have the opportunities that you didn't and with courage, you will rewrite the story of your family and your life. Aside from your family, your greatest accomplishment out of all that you have created or done is becoming Alcohol Free. While it did not happen over night, because it did not seem "that bad", you knew in your heart it had to change, and you went long periods AF, until it clicked, and you proudly claimed, "I don't drink anymore". This is not easy in our culture, society and in your marriage and family/social life. You learned you could not do this alone, you also learned to once again, create your own path which honors your past, it does not shame it. Let's face it, you had some fun all those years. You knew the truth and you knew your best life and best self was AF and with the help of your sister and her example, you finally walked away from that elixir you occasionally danced with (and obsessed over) to choose Freedom, now you are inspiring others on their journey of better living. You insist on fun, you insist on inclusion and also no shame for anyone, lets all raise a glass together! BTS you heal, you also nurture your soul, the introvert in you that needs solitude, down time, healing and exhaling. Restoration and Retreats become part of your lifestyle, and you literally go from Bar Crawl 28 years ago, to Spa Crawl today, you give yourself a monthly Spa visit as a way to celebrate this hard work but no longer hard, it is just happy, kind, loving work. You are not the same girl you were 28 years ago, and you are growing with her, and nurturing her like never before. You laugh even more, get sillier and just let your spirit soar. You learned to cultivate the spirit without spirits and it is such a joyful, soulful, spirited and happy way of life (and yes, you still get mad and bring the fire, you are the fire)!

You are simple, yet you love nice things, you crave luxe experiences, and you balance simplicity with special moments. Your taste is still exquisite but your heart equally appreciates simplicity. At 28 you were all about the brands, and while you still love your brands, you have far more appreciation for Personal Brand, you care more about who a person is and how they treat others, that is how you value people and this is what separates you from the crowd, you lead your life with love, and you discern who you associate with in doing the same.

You are living your dream, and you and your husband did live out the dream of living by the water--it is a wonderful life in Beverly Farms, the ocean calms your nerves and it soothes your soul. You learn to go where the love is in all things, the people, the places and the sights & sounds that feel good and are good calm the mind and soothe the soul.

You experience all the hardship over the years, and experienced both success and failure in work and in life. At mid life, you choose you. You are stronger than you have ever been, and more clear on who you are, your value and not everyone will be in your circle, you are wise about your circle and trust your instincts like never before. You rise and remain unapologetic & authentic in your brand--you grow your personal brand, but on your own terms and authentically, you are whole, the imperfect and the vibrant one, you embrace the light and the dark.

You realize that you have been the one that you have been waiting for. This message is important and one that you are compelled to share and inspire in others. Speaking of which.... We are not competing with each other, we actually are more powerful when we collaborate and lift each other up, that is the spirit of HIPP! Women standing up for each other.

We all need to grow, heal and ignite the spirit within (HIPP) to create this. You will become the woman you visualized you would be. A woman aging gracefully, who radiates a timeless inner beauty, that becomes an invitation for another woman to do the same. You are self made, but not alone. You are incredibly caring, but not naive. You are vulnerable but you are also strong and brave. You feel both grounded and at times messy, you seek balance and peace. You are the leader and creator, you also need to be cared for and guided. You are spiritual and enlightened, your intuition and spirit is your gift. You are passionate, and that brings out the best and sometimes worst in you, you are letting go and building boundaries like never before. You are the example for many, because you are both vulnerable and vibrant, and you inspire others to tap into their magic and essence too!

28 years.

This is not just my story, it is our story. We all have our untold story, we all have our fears and anxieties, our challenges and our moments that we think we might break.

We also have an incredible strength and a spirit inside of us that will lead us, it will direct us, it will help us navigate the flow of life. If I have learned anything it is this…

Don’t settle for allowing life to just happen, and being on the sideline in fear or in waiting for things to work out in your favor. Be the author of your story and know that you already have everything you need to live an amazing life. Lead with Love, embrace fear (acknowledge it but don’t feed it) and while you create a life you love, take your humor with you, it is all about knowing when to be serious, and when to allow in the fun. Laughing and smiles are priceless, build a life where you can do that, because there will be times that you just can’t, and that is life, both incredibly beautiful but also hard, it is all of it, and you are the light which will lead the way.

As I write this it is Thanksgiving week and I am feeling tremendous gratitude for my life, I am a blessed woman and I am beyond grateful for the life that I live. I believe every stage and every age (or decade) we evolve, it happens multiple times in a decade, and at times it is driven either by desire or it can be detriment, life happening, and the peaks and Vally of life, it is both beautiful and also hard at times. At middle age, and closer to 60 than 50, I do look at things differently, and there is something so remarkable about this period in time (Empty Nesting and having space and time for the first time in our lives). Clearly I don’t know beyond this stage, but I look at my friends and family as they are HIPPer and Wiser, with even more experience and wisdom with older kids and the blessing of another generation. I can only imagine that to be the most amazing time in life (I see it and saw it with my parents and my in laws). While I am not in a hurry for that to happen, I am so loving the space and time right now, freedom, and enjoying the time with my kids, as they fly in and out of this nest of mine, while residing in my heart forever and always. Every Mom knows this feeling and at the core of our humanity, it is this love we can access not only for our kids, but for ourselves and each other. Leading with love, and putting our heart & soul into our people, and starting with ourselves first. It is a practice, it is not one and done. Every day is a new day, and every day is a new opportunity and invitation to check in with yourself, your heart, your soul, your body, your spirit, your mindset, your mental health and live a life that you love, or at least one that you don’t want to run away from. I know both very well, but honestly, it has been far more love, far more gratitude and living life with open eyes, a full heart, vision, intention and also compassion and patience, as the gears need to change, and it is learning how to slow down and just be. I know grief, loss, pain, and the feelings that are part of life, they are real, they are part of the package and while we can let go of a lot of it, with grief, loss or trauma, it becomes part of who you are. It is invisible, but it is there, and it is yet another reason to put your mental and emotional health first, to simplify your life in order to reduce stress, which is really hard for ambitious women, and also women that have a lot on their plate. Gratitude continues to help me live and experience life from a place of love and abundance, otherwise, fear/anxiety/grief/pain would lead the way and I would miss out on the joys in life, the happy moments, the innovation, creation, reinvention and restoration that we go and grow through. While we move forward, we don’t leave all the pain behind, we heal, and in the situation of loss, we bring those loved ones with us, because love never dies. So when you see this bubbly, positive, charismatic girl, that has passion and fire, know that she also has a scars, wounds, and invisible challenges that she accommodates and carries every day. While she has been through a lot, she knows that so many have been through far worst, and she also knows leadership, love and the importance of resiliency, it is how she grew up, and it is how she lives her life. I share this because it is important and might help someone, none of us are getting out of here without the whole human experience, I refer to it as Whole Life. Whats more, it is not just loss, having financial insecurity completely is a part of who I am, I have so much compassion for many, because I know what it is like, and I see you, I hear you, and I want to remind you, you are enough, there is enough and you were born for greatness. Your gifts are inside of you, and only you can truly ignite the power within, but you don’t have to do it alone, so grab hold of your precious life, your dreams, your desires, your discontents and let's write an amazing life story. Happiness is a feeling, it is not a destination, and it is the art of knowing how to experience simple joys. Never underestimate the power of the small things, the present moment and the magic of now. I found that I learned this lesson over and over, because as an ambitious woman and mom, I also demanded more family time and being part of their daily lives, I built a team and system to create that at home. I am so grateful for every stage, because it created who I am today, and I am back to simplicity, and just being me, and a fun loving woman that is aging gracefully, or at least that is the vision. I am in the pause, I am slowing down, and the scenic route is so much better, I have no regret of the fast lane, but my wisdom and experience teaches me to simplify, modify and continue to reinvent, grow, experience and be.

Gratitude is one of the pillars in Living HIPP. Here are some of the things that I am grateful for today:

—Guyer 5, my family is my everything

—Growing up Mellor, it was not always easy, but my parents demonstrated love and gratitude

—My health and that of my family, this truly is wealth

—My cockapoos, life on WBL is amazing. We love our walks, cookies and cozy vibe at home

—My marriage, I have had such strength in it and from it, while it is not always easy, my husband is my home

—My Yoga practice, I am so grateful I “get to” do Yoga every damn day (or 5 days a week)

—My Life today, I am present, I have flexibility and time and space that I never have had like I have now.

—My extended family, my parents, my bumpa’s, my siblings, I love and care for them all so deeply

—My Friends, each stage of life, both old and new friendships, I love my people and they love me.

—My Home, I love love love my home. It is a dream come true, and it is a wonderful life on WBL

—My AF Lifestyle and commitment. I didn’t get sober, I got curious, I got better, I made progress, I stumbled (just literal I swear) & I became FREE.

—My Spirit. It is the one thing that if I could bottle and sell it, we would be billionaires.

—My Introvert ways, I need rest, restoration and alone time, that is how I restore. While I bring the energy, more importantly, I need to unplug and learned to

—The version of me at every age and stage. I love her, I don’t know how she did it, but she did, and she lead with love.

—My ADHD, while it is not easy, it makes me who I am. I love that is makes me innovative, creative, a visionary sparks my imagination

—My mentors in life and business, I am so grateful for the people that have poured into me and believed in me. I always want to be that for others

—The Beach, it soothes my soul.

—Magical Mornings, a morning routine is and always has been important to me (since becoming a Mom). My soul craves this connection & reflection

—Good strong coffee. It is my beverage of choice

—Humility, I have had to grow confidence, because I had to be my own advocate at times. I know what it is like to feel less than, not enough and not included

—Positive Energy, I know it, and I bring it. It’s too much for some, but I’m not here to please everyone. It is mean’t to ignite others that vibe with it

—My businesses: Both DS companies I have been part of, and Living HIPP, they influence each other in the most dynamic way.

—Humor. I truly don’t think I could do life without it. Laugther is in fact medicine.

—Music, the soundtrack of my life, the therapy to my soul. Music captures all of the vibes, emotions and moments of this thing called life.

Gratitude is so Powerful. It has become my top 5 tools that I have consistently practiced for almost 10 years. I was inconsistent before that and that was better than nothing.

I encourage you this season to begin each day with gratitude, for those that decide to join the membership, daily gratitude will be facilitated and become part of your daily rituals, along side other really cool things that help make life better: happier, inspirational, productive & peaceful.

It’s your friend Pam, for over a decade I have been talking about Living HIPP, this lifestyle brand I created. As I go through yet another re-branding, I also take in account my life lessons, my personal experiences, my observations and my framework (both the framework that I created for HIPP and the framework of me, the DNA of life experiences and how they shape each one of us).

For years, branding experts and consultants have told me to brand myself, even though I already had my personal brand, I did not want it to be about me, it was so much bigger than me, it was about us. A decade later it still is about us, but not all of us. We are not exclusive, we are more inclusive, however, not everyone shares the same values, spirit, mindset and therefore, this is not their thing nor should it be. This is for the woman or mom that wants to raise the bar on the modern day woman and how we define ourselves—the super woman mentality needs to go, and we need to nurture our mental, physical and spiritual health even more. Women are busier than ever, moms are doing double duty (this is a fact, now picture a busy woman, add children on top of it and she is not just busy and overwhelmed, her heart and brain are with other little or big humans, and that never ends, not until her last breathe. Clearly this is mostly women, and it is not to say that Dad’s have it easy, we know some are the stay at home ones. The fact is…. We need to unveil the truth behind the expectations and demands on women and especially moms because we are promoting it in a way, not even realizing it (which I have contributed too, and with HIPP I am trying eradicate that and talk about the importance of mental health, radical self care and balance).

There is no simple fix, and the important thing here is to operate and communicate with far more grace, compassion, love and kindness to self and to others. Yes, it is that simple but yet so hard…. Social media has made it worst (and I love SM for many reasons with the exception of this one, the highlight reel). Please don’t compare your insides with someones Kodak moment “outsides” on line, it is self defeating and far from the truth. Likewise, there is no need to compete with anyone, the only one we need to compete with is the version we were yesterday, ourselves, and be a better us, not a perfect us, just one that knows how to dance through life. This requires grace, humility, love, acceptance and a caring heart. I had a decade of both amazing things and really tough things and at the end of the day, beyond healing and growth (letting go and trusting) comes an undeniable confidence in the relationship we have with ourselves. The journey to self, loving her, getting to know her, respecting her, listening to her and leading her (and even protecting her).

You are the one you have been waiting for.

Let me say it again…. You are the one you need, trust, and who needs you, self care, compassion, love and belief.

Don’t try to win anyone over, not a person, not a brand, not a group, organization, no one. Look at yourself in the mirror and say this “lets go baby”. As I write this I realized I have not done exactly that (in those words), but in the past few years I have chosen myself, I have chosen my love over fear, and I have chosen to take responsibility to move forward, even in the face of adversity, betrayal and changes along the way. This is life, and this happens for us, not to us (I know it does not always feel that way and I certainly know it is hard for us to accept, at least it is for me). You are so much bigger than any of the stuff you deal with—if it does not impact the health of you and your family, you are just fine.

I struggled a little with this, and I fought, let go, accepted and denied all sorts of things, because it sucks when life is hard or people disappoint you or you betray yourself (that can happen because we are human—we can only make things right and/or do the next right thing). I had to learn (and ironically I knew this all along before creating HIPP), a company or brand does not define you, it is not bigger than you and it is not as important as you allow it to be. Meaning, when something outside of you, becomes more important than you or the only thing in your toolbox, that just is a house of cards, that will come tumbling down, at least for the woman that is clear on her vision and her values.

Also, people show you who they are the first time. Remember that, and trust your gut, she is almost always right. The decade of living HIPP, has taught me a lot, it does not change HIPP, it just makes it more meaningful for me. The concept is this….

Create a life you love.

I have done this throughout my life and it has been hard work, a hustle, adversity and some big wins, it has been all of it. As I grow and learned even more about myself, mental health and true joy, I learned to trust myself even more, and follow my spirit even more, and experience my gifts even more, and also learn to love the parts of me that are vulnerable, that need rest, solitude, compassion and grace.

I don’t fit into the work cultures I was part of because I have changed, the culture of hustle, or idolizing a company is just not how I think and look at the world. I feel passionate about brands and communities, but it is not the brand, it is the people, it has always been about the people to me. I could not exactly pinpoint, my love for an industry but also my love for personal growth more, not based on one company but based on one life. I love diversity, and I was missing collaboration with people and entrepreneurs in other areas doing other things be it a local business, or digital on line business. I wanted more, I wanted change and I also realized my worth, even more than I knew it a decade ago…. I have become more clear about what I enjoy, am passionate about and what I am good at. Speaking, writing, teaching, inspiring, loving, leading and helping women and moms to build a life they love with Vision, Values, Goal setting, innovation, creation and building belief in themselves, and building a foundation for success.

At this point in my life, work is not as important to me (gasp)…. There, I said it and that feels so good. A brand is not life to me, my life and my brand is (my personal brand).

Empty Nest is a new phase and I pinch myself because even through hard times, I created a life I love. I don’t boast on this, I say it to inspire you to create a life you love. Will it be all love, no, it does not work that way. It is having a vision, it is getting clear on your values and it is not about what you do, it is WHO you are and how you are being, to yourself and others. Our purpose is beyond something we join, it is in what we create. Ironically, I am pulled back into some work, but that is okay, because I focus on what I love, which is the people, what the business model offers, and leadership, growth, personal development and encouraging and mentoring others in life and business. I am doing that with HIPP as well, and moving forward I merge the two, because they fit each other, at least in my leadership strategy and personal development interests—our mindset is so important, as is our physical and spiritual health. Also a belief in working to live rather than living to work, time leveraging and time to prioritize self care—that is important as is following our passions and heart, and the answer to that is different for everyone and changes over time.

Time is important at every age, and at middle age it is important to reimagine and reinvent how you work, how you live, and how you play. I’ve always loved flexibility as a Mom, and that is why Direct Sales worked so well for me for so many years, I love that about this industry among other things. It is still important, but also for me is freedom, at this point in my life, I value freedom so much. Not only in designing my day, but also in how much work I do, I’ve logged years and years of hard work, and I am healing from that. I will get a touch of guilt of feeling this way sometimes and my husband reminds me I don’t have to carry that weight any more, I carried it my entire life. I am not done, I still have a purpose inside of me, but admittedly, I am doing it part time and on my own terms. When I think about what I love to do and what I am good at and those two circles coming together in the center is this: she speaks, she writes, she inspires, she motivates, she loves. I use my life as my classroom, my professional experience is legit, but it is my heart, and my ability to know to keep going that keeps me in the game. What are in your circles? What do you absolutely love doing, what are you good at and how can you merge those two things. At mid life, to be able to do this on your own terms is important, you may or may not be there, and that is okay. Who and how do you want to be, that is where we begin, it always begins with Vision, let the work or purpose follow suit, but first, go deeper into your life, your internal dialogue, your dreams, your desires and your discontents. This is soulful and spiritual work, and it is no longer about building a career (at 50+) it is about stepping into your 2.0 (and this is not age specific, so this can happen at any age). At mid life, and as you begin Empty Nesting, it is real, it is visceral and it is magical, that is if you do the work, and the work is unique to you. Listen to your wisdom, your guide, your inner genius, she knows the way and she will surprise you, challenge you and lead you down a path that you need to pave.

I am in my own unique place, but feeling very blessed that I get to make these choices. While HIPP is the brand I have a big vision for, I am creating it in a way that is on my own terms which feels limiting but personally for me, it feels aligned. My commitment to myself, my mental & physical health is a priority and will always be that for the rest of my life, many women benefit from this message and hopefully will take some content or inspiration from my story, the stories of others and this brand. Likewise, the spirit, the spiritual growth is both a practice and part of who I am, I want to share more of that and teach others how to create it, which absolutely makes life better. In order to be that in my life and for myself and my family and my circle, I have my HIPP FRAMEWORK which I have customized personally into my formula and foundation—it has been the key to my evolution and growth this past decade, even through the difficult times.

HIPP is a Global Happiness Brand, who says that? I do.

I don’t know what that looks like, and I am not worried about it’s evolution. I don’t want to run a company, I want to lead a positive impact, one that has a legacy far beyond my lifetime—that is why I chose HIPP, it is not Pam Guyer (even thou that brand is about inspiration, motivation, self made and from grit to grace, this lifestyle of HIPP can go on for generations, inspiring us and those we love to focus on wealth (their health, mind/body/spirit and live a purposeful & passionate life). I believe so much in this, this spirit, this vibe, this need for self care, more love, more heart centered leadership, more positive cultures and teamwork, at home and at work (I have been blessed with both and I have had the burden of challenges too).

Unapologetic about blazing a trail that does not exist.

I see it, and it is as if I can’t explain it clearly…. So I just live it, and share it and teach it (daily practices, mindful living, positive thinking along side life happening. I also am branding it, and through this work, I share my light with the world. I am not special, we are all mean’t to shine our light in the world and we also need to know what to do when other try and dim it (which they will). “They” (who ever they are) don’t matter, F——forget them! Have you heard of the “Let Them Theory”, this is by Mel Robbins and it is so powerful. When others do things, say things, make decisions and it is not congruent with you or what you would do, appreciate or desire…. Let Them….. Let them go, let them lie, let them be, let them change, let them leave, let them make you the villain, let them make up their own story, let them follow their heart, let them grow and go their own way, let them be….

Life is a choice and your personal brand is being built by you. Are you a copy cat or are you the real deal? Do you chase or do you create? Are you willing to stand up for yourself and the truth? Are you willing to stand alone? The more we tap into our essence (our light, our love) the more we will experience joy, love, peace and true happiness. Does it remove the fear, sadness, emptiness and pain we feel, no, they are part of us too. Our job is to stay HIPP which is also Heal, Instinct, Prayerful, Patient—it has several layers as you go and as you grow. There is no right or wrong here, there is just compassion, grace, dignity, love and a second chance, we all deserve a second chance, including giving it to ourselves. Each day is a new day, a new beginning, an opportunity to choose happy, an opportunity to deflect toxic and to create a space for you to thrive and come alive, in your home, possibly in your work or passion projects, community, family and circles.

It occurred to me recently when I some fear around being happy (which is fair, we are not always happy nor should we be). Happiness is not a bad word, bad thing and should not be something we are fearful of (even thou we are sometimes, that is okay). It is a choice. I believe people that feel this, just have spent more of their life with negative thinking, pain, abandonment of self or others and what ever conditioning or people they were exposed to. Not their fault but I want to speak up and say, the person preaching to you, do you want her life? Is she the end all and be all? Perhaps, just maybe she is doing the best she can, perhaps she does not know what she does not know, and perhaps, she does not know the the level of happiness and true joy and spirit someone can truly live (it is magical, and I am here to tell you I know it, I love it, I feel it, and I go back to it). Does that mean we are fearless and that we don’t get sad, have fear or self doubt? No, of course we do, we are human. However, we are miracles too. So don’t you dare go trying to dull down your spirit or think u need to be plain vanilla, no, no, no, no, hell, nooooo!

Get those “jimmies” girl, you get those jimmies and you sprinkle them on top—chocolate, rainbow, all the types, we love them all! When I was a little girl we could not afford to get the jimmies on our ice cream cone most of the time, I swear to God (but at least we got the ice cream cone). This is not a “poor me” story, I had a lot of love in my life, but also I wanted the jimmies, and I built a life I can have all the jimmies I want, in fact, I could buy the ice cream stand if I really wanted, but I don’t, because it’s not about the ice cream cone, it is about the acceptance of that was then and this is now. I was blessed then and I am blessed now, grateful for both experiences as the shape who I am today. Attitude is a choice, and attitude, belief and mindset is everything, it really is. So when someone says, beware….. I want to look at them and think, do you want their life, not what they have, do you want their effervescence and spirit…. Look for the thought leaders that are joyful, powerful, authentic and believe in more. I’d rather be looking at life through rose colored glasses than criticizing and dissecting it under a microscope. We are whole humans, we are built with darkness and light, we have seasons or days of darkness and light, it is just a fact. Find your light, let it flicker, don’t dim it, let it shine bright. Not only do you need your light to show you the way, the people around you need your light too. It is not bad or wrong or too bright, it is meant to shine and you are meant to shine. We shine for each other, and our light might help someone get through their darkness. HIPP does not focus on our problems, it focuses on our gifts, abundance, blessings and shows compassion and grace in our hard times too. XO

I am learning how to be and not do. I’ve been learning this for a while but more than ever before. It is weird and hard for me, I know how to rest, I’ve got that down nicely, and I love it. I just don’t know how to be patient, as my husband shared with me about me, I am wired to work. The hustle days are over and I am never going back—this stage of life, my mental health, and worthiness come first, and I perform for no one. I am writing this because you need to hear this. Your story may not be mine, but you might need the reminder to stop choosing and looking outside of you, and choose you. The magic is there, it will always be there, it won’t leave you, it just might need to be accessed over and over because life happens.

You are the power my Darling Girl, the Power is you!

Whole Heath: Mental, Physical, Spiritual

We all have mental health…. Some are diagnosed and treated while others self soothe and manage to not manage it until they are ready or it escalates. In Yoga the other day, I heard a reading on how MH should be prioritized over physical health and I have to agree, lets not wait for things to go south, lets build resources, and normalize the need to have a Wholeness Plan and create less toxic environments for people (Kindness Matters, it matters a lot).

There is such a stigma attached that it prevents us from truly living in a way that nurtures our Mental Health as opposed to triggering it. Like many sensitive topics, we tend to ignore this every day challenge and allow things to build and become a problem and that is typically how we address our mental health. It is so backwards and it is so damaging to many, the MH becomes a conversation in the head, a battle, a shame, a “what’s wrong with me” state of mind, when in fact, it is quite normal to feel anxiety, depression or other MH issues. It is important for us to take back our power and to break through any shame or stigma that surrounds this topic. You are human, humans will experience mental health issues throughout their lifetime. Some of it may be situational and based on events and for some it could be a baseline of how their brain/body transmit and is wired. There is nothing wrong with you, what is wrong is the lack of awareness and making it fundamental to our wellbeing. For many, it is both, and for many, we avoid the topic until we reach a point that our coping skills become maladaptive, and that is an invitation to look at ourselves and to care for ourselves equally in mind/body/spirit.

Women are master’s of disguising mental health issues, even to the point they may not be fully aware. MH is hidden in many things and we normalized doing it all and having it all together when in fact, we don’t, and rather than normalize our MH, we normalize performance and our ability to raise a family, build a business/grow a career and look good while doing it.

There is nothing wrong with any of those things, in fact, that would describe myself and many others I know. However, inside we feel spread thin, overwhelmed, stressed and for some, burnt out. Rather than normalize the race, the unrealistic expectations for women and moms, why not normalize the importance of “balance”. When I say balance, I don’t mean a perfect schedule with perfect parts (that is not the goal), it is being able to look at one’s life, one’s wellness, one’s schedule and commitments and see where we can simplify, delegate, remove and normalize this as a way of living. In Living HIPP the Framework, we build a support system, and this is a continual process each season which empowers us to focus on our gifts and not our challenges. Superwoman is a myth, and none of us as Moms should strive for that role, because the result is truly Super Stressed Woman—but, we can put our hearts into our homes & families as well as have meaningful work. This requires grace, compassion, a framework for success and a PDP, Personal Development Plan (which we have in Living HIPP).

The Mom role is just double of everything, I will advocate and speak up for Moms as I know when you become a Mom, your life is forever changed and your focus is no longer linear on a career, we can offer programs of support for Moms and work/life balance that helps to create better work environments and the care and support Moms need and deserve. My nerves were fried raising young children. While I loved every part of family life and having a business, my home, my kids, I lost myself to some degree in the hustle of trying to do it all. With 3 babies born in 3 years and leaving corporate, I was working as hard as ever, and no one was recognizing my efforts with the exception of feedback from my MIL at times and my husband. When I started my business, I did make accommodations, had help with the kids, support structures in place, so that did help, what was missing for me until my early 40’s was really nurturing my MH. I grew up where you “sucked it up”, hard work and being strong were pillars of how to live. It came from a loving place, and some of this helped shape who I am and it has been good, but the downside is that you dismiss the feelings, and processing the emotions that come with being human.

This topic is one that we assume things are real bad and/or many of us don’t want to wear any labels or feel exposed in a way that we don’t show up as our best selves, our zest for life and with MH attached to our names. The truth is….. it is attached to all of us in some way, and should be a priority on our schedule and in our lives daily. If I look at this topic, and women and the real, real—most women that I know have dealt with some sort of MH challenge and/or have it but are self medicating or hiding it in other projects be it work, home, career, fitness, etc..….. Both my Mom and Mother in Law dealt with MH, and the interesting thing, they came at it from two different schools of thought and how they managed it.

My MIL was very open and honest about her MH, anxiety and some depression, she had a difficult childhood and shared with me that when her kids were young, she went through extensive outpatient therapy to deal and heal with some trauma from her younger years. I was so impressed that she was so progressive in the 70’s where by she dedicated time and resources into her MH and she explained that it was important to her ability as a Mom and her being there for her family. She was so aware and sensitive of women’s health (and specifically MH), when I became a Mom, she was so supportive and would think I did too much, or would say she doesn’t know how I do it. At the time, my working class mentality kicked in, you just do it…. Mellor’s raise babies, we just do it, and we create a nice home and family environment, it was just what you did. Being the youngest, I watched my sisters become Moms, and I watched my Mom be a Nanny to all these kids and it was all about home, family, babies and love. On the contrary to my MIL, my Mom was the example of grit and grace and we didn’t talk about MH, you just created a routine, and used your instincts and organization and love to raise your babies. While my Mom was so kind and compassionate, she just lived off of strength and marching forward, and did so with such grace and cheerfulness. Looking back, we realize my Mom had anxiety, however, it was not treated, she self soothed with sweets and was so dialed in to her home (playing the role of homemaker and handyman as my Dad was not able to do any labor with this health). My Mom’s MH became an issue when she retired, so her anxiety was wrapped up in her busy life, playing two roles for our family, her work as a teacher and being the light and love to everyone in her world—she submerged it, and let her strength and grit be the driver in her life alongside her love and affection. Once she did not have work, and her routine and and it was an empty nest, and my Dad was gone, she faced a depression that I am guessing was years of suppressed emotions of all that she endured with my Dad’s health, losing him and leading our family forward with strength. Mom was not as open to therapy, she was definitely old school and while she was treated with medication, she would laugh with her doctor and say she had no interest in therapy, this was her personality, she was a strong woman with grit and grace that was used to a stand up and march forward way of life. To this day, this part of my Mom serves me well, we all need resilience and grace, so it is not all bad, it actually is good, but it is important to have support, therapy and to work through life events.

So the dichotomy of both women in my life was interesting, on one hand I had my MIL saying things like “take a nap”, “oh Pam, you need a break” which I was not used to, I have not napped since I was 3 years old. My Mom was loving, but it was just expected you show up, you do your best, your a Mom and that is what we do. I will say, advice from both helped me as a Mom, and when I experienced mild depression for the first time when my second was born, both my MIL and Mom were very supportive and were proud that I asked for help. Then my asking for help was simply… “I don’t feel myself”. I felt okay to take care of the babies, but I did not feel joyful and myself, and that was my first experience in treating my MH. I got through this, and realized, that I needed something outside of being a Mom, after my son was born, I left my career, and in that I left my identity as a professional, this was a post sign that I was a person that needed either a purpose or career outside of being a Mom. We should be unapologetic in how we work, when and where we work, everyone knows what is best for themselves and their families and we as women’s and moms need to support each other more. It is by far the hardest and most rewarding job on the planet.

Baby 3 came along, and so did my decision to build a business from home in Direct Sales. I did not have time, and I did not know what I was doing, but I needed something that did not include the demanding work of being a stay at home Mom (which in some ways was a gift to me). This became my platform to grow as a person and grow as a Mom, it allowed me space and time to nurture the side of Pam that was dynamic, a go getter, speaker, leader and Mentor. Earning income was important to me, I have always been independent financially, and missed having my own income and ability to earn. Looking back, it did not make my life easier or more simple in building a business from home, but what it did do is give me an opportunity to create balance, meaning, dual roles in my life and that proved to be important to me and my family. This experience made me a better Mom, wife, friend, leader and professional, building something once again from the ground up (and from the comfort of my home). As I built a business, and my family and worked super hard at both, my MH was good, I had support in place, I had flexibility and I was able to use my voice, speak, teach and inspire others, something I have done my entire corporate career.

Looming in the background, but was not really evident was that I had anxiety which was not treated and really should have been. The way I dealt with it (and what many Moms do) is that glass of wine (or 3) at night. This became my thing, and for a while it worked (or at least I thought it did), because after a 7/8pm bedtime for the kids, it was my “deserving” time to relax and unwind. This became a habit and at various points it did not feel right, but it seemed so normal so my “mommy juice” was medicinal and how my husband and I “connected” after long days of kids/work/life—this became part of our nightly schedule. Years later it would become that monkey on my back, and in my early 40’s, I got super healthy with my eating, removing alcohol, got into Yoga and felt amazing. While this transformation was great, I still did not deal with the issue at hand, and when life got hard again, the self soothing habit came back, and so did the cycle of trying to moderate something that just made me feel worst. I am surprised wellness professionals don’t talk more about the direct correlation of Alcohol and Anxiety/Depression, it literally makes it worst and is like adding fuel to the fire. We think we are “relaxing” and letting loose (which feels good), it is screwing up our organs, specifically our brain, our sleep and our over all well being, we feel tired, exhausted and then the cycle of drinking off/on enrolls so many that don’t talk about it, because they either don’t want “a problem” or they can’t imagine life without it. I understand both, and I worked my way through both of these topics, and what I can say is that life is so much better, brighter, calm, peaceful, happier and authentic being AF. It is a process of discovery, recovery and ultimately, reinvention, making it so irrelevant in your life.

This past decade, I focused more on my Mental Health than I ever have. Life events triggered some of this, but what I have learned is that we can only submerge it so long, at some point we need to deal and heal (that applies to anything in our lives). After a few years of a lot of stress, a lot of changes and loss, I was able to come out of that realizing I needed to make my MH a priority, and I took charge of getting to understand this and myself and also getting professional help to navigate this topic that comes with shame and secrecy because we don’t want to appear “weak” or like we have a problem, so once again, we contribute to the maladaptive coping and conversations around this topic. I lead this process, no one was saying, let's look at this Pam, but certainly my primary care was fully supportive and helped with resources.

I do not label myself, I am not my MH challenges (or gifts), they are just something that I accommodate in my life (and I prioritize this commitment because life is better when you feel better, grounded, whole and happy). For me, the leader of the pack is ADHD, this is the one thing that has made everything a challenge for me and I had to work extra hard to compensate for it, not even knowing how it was impacting my life. Next up is addiction, yep, I said it, I don’t call myself an addict, but my personality and what I live with is addiction, this is not one thing, it is a concept of how I live and I just need to be aware and not expose myself to anything that is highly addictive. A lot of people have addiction or have addictions, we just don’t talk about it, because addiction is a scary topic and once again, comes with shame and stigma. It is so wrong…. Addiction is not bad, it is not a character flaw or weakness, it is a behavior that stems out of a few things, one being that it typically is either a high achiever or performer, who is challenged with the ability to find balance and moderation in all things. I am so much more aware of this now that I had to learn more about it…. Addiction is not the user on the streets (and these people are not criminals, they are sons/daughters that are addicted and need help and I pray we do more)—it is mental health hidden under a destructive coping mechanism. Addiction is also that stay at home Mom that appears to have it all together, but what you don’t know is that she is falling apart inside. Addiction is that leader, top performer, athlete or type A that exceeds in his/her zone of genius. Addiction is that runner, that wellness owner, that lives/breathes/sleeps all things wellness or performance, it is not all bad, it just has a bad rap because we don’t normalize that many have varying levels of addictive behavior. Mine is significant, meaning if I don’t treat it or “Live HIPP”, I am vulnerable to the challenges it presents. This is work, it takes tremendous work to change behaviors, understand this, accept this and to manage it, it never goes away, it just gets accommodated and treated, so while Living HIPP seems all cool and fun, it actually is tracks to run on to deal with MH and overall wellness. Anxiety is up next in my own portfolio of the wholeness of me. I have had anxiety my entire life, and I was not diagnosed until my adult years. Medication can help, and in addition, I have daily rituals that help calm the mind and soothe the soul. Drinking was no longer an option as it was years ago to deal with my anxiety (not knowing it made it worst), so I have practices and tools that I use to calm my mind or my racing thoughts. A flexible schedule is important, because we need to rest, pause, breathe and in this we heal. We all need this and rather than do all the “do”, how about we be, and breathe, and practice mindfulness and breathing. I get this now, but this took me time, and practice.

I don’t appear to be an anxious person, I have learned how to appear vibrant, calm, engaged and most times I am, and preparation is important, as is self care. The ability to rest, recharge, and reset is so important for my anxiety and my overall MH. With anxiety, along comes it’s friend depression, which for me was a hard thing to accept and accommodate. While the others are more prominent for me, depression can show up and when it does, it just requires a pause, extra self care, and nurturing the mind/body/soul. I seem to experience it more mild, but I have experienced a few times being paralyzed with it, and for that reason, my HIPP rituals and daily care is so important as preventative care. I am an Empath (Highly Sensitive Person) so while that is great for people in my life if they need support or understanding, it makes it harder because things hit me harder.

As I shared, Living HIPP is positive and intentional living—it is leading with Love, and for me, is designed to accommodate my Mental Health—we are not clinical, we are lifestyle and self care based (love for self, love for others, love for life, how much more simple can it be). Over the years I made changes, and have spent more time addressing this important topic, and at this stage in life as an Empty Nester, I feel time and space to breathe, to do this work, and teach this work, not as an expert, just as a woman, mom and person that desires to live her best life, and be real in the challenges we face. Self Care and being Self Aware are so important to our well being and Mental Health, so the first step for anyone is to change some behaviors (progress over perfection) and put rituals and routines in place that support your growth and being grounded. I first started with a formula, which is something I followed and when I did, it worked. I realized I needed a foundation, that some things in my formula needed to become my foundation, my bedrock, my no matter what, this is what I do and this is how I live. Today, this is my Foundation for Living HIPP and how I accommodate and treat my mental, physical and spiritual health. I am Alcohol Free (AF), this has been the most profound self care I have done—it was a process, but I now live an AF lifestyle and do so in a way that is fun, active and engaged. Medication and vitamins have been important for me, I am a believer in doing what works, be your own best advocate and be willing to try different things. Yoga is another tool, I do 5 classes a week, in addition, I work on my meditation practice (truth be told I am not great at meditating, but like anything, you just keep showing up, keep doing it and then you get better at it). Water and eating well, the water I am usually good with, I like to eat well but I have my moments I go off track, sugar can become a problem and I find when I remove it, I just feel that much better. Obviously sleep and building rest and down time in my schedule, this has proven to be really important, we all need to replenish and restore our energy. Routines and Rituals, these are so important to my MH, they take the the guess work out of everything and you just do it. A morning practice has always been a good thing in my life, it is really important to give yourself some time in the morning to either read, write, pray or at the very least, practice gratitude. Walking outside and fresh air, so important to our well being, this is something I think everyone should do, even if it is only 15 minutes a day. Exercise and movement, the endorphins increase which makes you feel better, I also like that it helps me make better choices, so our wellness practices often influence our choices and decisions. Living mindfully and in the present, this is a practice, and one that I do well and struggle with, but again, keep at it and that is how you get better at it. Small changes every day. Don’t try and change everything over night, give yourself grace and compassion to build new behaviors, new habits and new ways of supporting your mind/body/spirit. XO

Cheers to You, Cheers to Us!

Redefine how you drink & how you think!

Living HIPP, is a lifestyle brand that promotes being happy (and healthy), being inspired (and intentional), being productive & peaceful, women crave peace and it is because we need to disrupt the expectations and how we live.

The truth is, we have to live differently…..

The expectation and landscape for the modern day woman is a MYTH.

She does not do it all, she can’t, she is not that social, pretty and without pain, it it total BS.

We are taught to do it all (and some of it is well worth it and quite frankly, what I wanted):

—The Beautiful Home

—The Beautiful Family

—The Successful Career/Business

—The Volunteer & Stay at Home Mom

—The Pre Baby Body

—The woman that flows, does yoga, does not break a sweat and meditates (Squirrel)

—Raise great humans

—Make everyone happy and accept you

—Look like you have it all together

—Look Beautiful

—Do all the Things

The past decade has made it all worst, and it was hard more than a decade ago…..

Social Medial, also known as the “comparison reel”. We listen to the influencers, we see the highlight reels, we compare those beautiful lifestyle photos to our reality when in fact they are just “Kodak Moments” for those of you who are younger, it basically means they are just captured moments, the pictures we take, the stories we share. There is nothing wrong with them, share them, share your wins, your wonderful and joyful moments, share the love, we don’t want to see complaints and woe is me on SM. However, remember in your scroll, to know that when you see others highlights, remember, that is exactly what they are. We all have the BTS story, situation, struggle or season (none of us are immune to that).

Let’s not judge it, judge ourselves, judge each other…..

Let’s just celebrate life together, and understand, life is our gift, and when we live it with gratitude, presence and a positive spirit, it is that much better. We also need to be willing to grow, willing to get uncomfortable, willing to be vulnerable and willing to fail. This is how we evolve, success or Living HIPP is not a straight line, it is in fact a scribble (a toddler one at best).

We hide behind the veneer at times, which is okay, but don’t allow yourself to go too far. The veneer can be many things, it can be a busy schedule, a fashion statement, a distraction, or anything positive or negative. It can also be the numbing out which we confuse for chilling out. We all need an escape, but unfortunately what we think of as the escape we love, often can become the escape that brings us down. The example for many (and we just don’t talk about it) is DRINKING. Yep. That thing that helped us belong, be cool, be included, melt our nerves, feel confident, be funnier, be fun, be real, be festive, be relaxed, be nice, be a people person, lets admit it, it worked, for many of us. But let me share the other side that we don’t talk about, that is real, that is truth, and it is killing our true and authentic joy. It is not only our drinking, it is also our thinking….

While we think it does these things, it actually does not do any of them….

You have been duped, in a big way…. Does it mean you need to not drink, no, it just means you should really explore your relationship with it, and if it is something you can’t live without, that is a sure sign you are addicted (I’m sorry, no one tells you this because addiction is scary, it is a wide spectrum, and you don’t drink out of control, or in the morning, or like the horror stories you see in the movies or you hear about. No, you just like to drink and you say “in moderation"….. I get it because that was me, and I did not want to quit, I did not want to “get sober” and I did not see myself as this rock bottom person, I had my shit together, and I worked hard to keep it in check. The black & white boxes we use, keep us stuck and in the grey, which is in our heads, which if we could see the bubbles over your head, it would not be warm and fuzzy, not when it comes to the WHOLE story.

Living HIPP started over a decade ago because I completely distrusted my habits, daily priorities, lifestyle and self care. I put myself first like never before, I discovered yoga, I discovered my relationship with Alcohol (and Food) and I changed it, I did better…. I was so mindful, that I did not completely give it up (I was not ready to say that or do that, note: it still had a hold on me), I was just limited in doing it. This worked until it did not work. But I believe it is okay to say, that is part of the process, reduction, removal, rethink, relapse, rinse, repeat, and it becomes like a diet, and the back and forth thing can really suck.

You can be on the AF Diet, and do that until you finally embrace the AF lifestyle, which is freedom from the social pressure, the self pressure/thinking, the desire (I know, I loved it too) and the demise (hangovers and 3am wake ups suck).

Living HIPP became my tracks to run on. When I was Living HIPP, I was AF. I use to like to drink, it was part of my personality, and while not a big drinker, I let it become an important part of my life (can’t we just drink beer on a Friday night). I was not a take it or leave it type, I liked it, I enjoyed the ceremony of it, the gathering, the letting loose, all those things that I associated with it, it was the reward at the end of the day (or so I thought). I was giving it up without a commitment with hopes I would no longer want it, but I still thought of it as the elixir that helped me to connect w/people, chill out, have fun, and all those things I conditioned myself to believe.

Back to the truth…..

The truth is, it was no longer any of these things to me. I am not a person that enjoys just one, or having to think about managing it, that mental gymnastics can drive you batty. Likewise, I was a middle age woman, still thinking to some degree that it made me cool, I liked being the party girl, and I liked the people that could chill (truth, I still do). I had to look at the facts…. The truth was it made me feel like shit. It never made me more fun, sloppy maybe, louder maybe but honestly, it was no longer that for me. It felt good for the first 30 minutes (okay hour) and then the rest of the time I was just chasing that feel good buzz (which you never get after that first 20 minutes (or lets say hour), you just get tired, sloppy and back in the drinking loop. I missed it thou…. This was a few years back but I missed it. I loved being AF but I could not commit to forever, and I did not want to be Sober Sally, the buzz kill of the party scene. I still liked the party scene or the drinks before dinner, or sitting outside al fresco, or by the fire, or the ritual of the gathering, the light hearted spirits, when people are nice and chill. We think it is the booze, in fact, we think that not only for ourselves but also for others. It could be in part, but the whole story, the whole life, the whole scene says otherwise. We see the vision of people having fun, the drinks are flowing and the party is going…. What we don’t see is the sloppy ending (for some). We don’t see or talk about is the late night, middle of the night or the next morning. It could just be passing out, only to wake up in the middle of the night with a racing heart, anxiety, pounding head ache and dry mouth. Maybe it is just waking up and not falling back to sleep (it does that to our bodies), then being foggy or fuzz the next day, but we shake it off, suck it up and say we won’t do it again or that night, and then there we are, breaking our promise to ourselves. This is addiction. Alcohol is addictive, and even if we are not physically addicted (like the scary stories) it is in our system, and it our body craves it again, that is how it works. Rinse/Repeat, sign up for the 5K, maybe that will get you on track again….

What if you lived differently?

What if you drank less? When you like it it is hard to manage and do less, I did this, it worked until it did not, that is why sober people make the decision to be sober, they finally get it out of their lives, and address the reasons they drank (ate, worked, what ever) in the first place. What if it didn’t have to be punitive, filled with shame, labels, black & white thinking etc…. That has been my journey with Living HIPP, I did not plan it, it is what happened…. There does come a time where the breaks are not good enough, and you want this to not have power over you (which is hard because society loves it, as does big alcohol, the marketing has duped most of us, me included).

I am speaking up because I just want to level the playing field and call it what it is…. Toxic. Yep, you can still have it, but let’s at least be clear on what it is, a toxic substance that we revere, and think is the answer for everything. Even wellness professionals will teach you how to moderate, which is a joke because that is not the goal (even thou we think it is). The goal is not to desire it. The goal is to have so much fucking fun, real conversations and joy without it. The goal is to see it for what it is, a carcinogen that wreaks havoc on your body. Now, if you don’t see it a problem in your life, have at it, my friends and family indulge. Let’s stop glorifying it, that shit has to end. It does not relax you, in fact, it makes you more anxious and depressed (TRUTH). It is not a reward, it is a liability that compromises how you act, feel and live. It does not make you more fun, it is fake fun, I did not know that until I learned genuine real fun (but no offense because I get it has been fun for many of us). It does not make you sexier or prettier, it actually makes you look sloppy and like shit. There is ZERO benefit to drinking, no it is not good for your heart, many people die because of it but it is under the cause of “heart disease”. TRUTH. Health: Alcohol increases risk of heart disease, stroke, cancer, brain disease/memory loss, IBS, accidents and making an ass out of yourself. Beauty: this golden elixir or “clear/clean” (BS) makes your skin look like shit, red/blotchy/dull, weight gain, bad breathe, dull eyes, puffy eyes and a good chance you will eat like crap that night or the next day. It is CRAZY to me the marketing and story we fell for, I fell for, and I did the research, and I can tell you I finally walked away, for good!

Sober is boring! Yes and no…. I think the word is boring and I don’t like some of the beliefs out there and I don’t agree with all of the approaches because there is a spectrum, and we need to honor the process more. All approaches work, I just think people need to find what works for them. I borrowed what I liked, I plugged into likeminded groups, and also am speaking up about it as a lifestyle choice, and the process (because not everyone is at rock bottom). I break it down in these steps, it is not Recovery to me, it is Discovery. 1. Reduce/Research 2. Remove/Recover 3. Rebuild/Rebrand 4. Freedom Cheers to all, the drinkers, the non drinkers and having no shame in this game!!!!!! To be clear, I think sober people are bad ass, my approach is about positive mindset/living, empowerment and redefining how we have fun.

So why give it up, why not just do it once in a while….

Great question and the one question everyone asks or tries to answer for themselves….

I tried, it does not work that way…. The truth is, I am so much better AF, and deciding to walk away for good “I don’t drink anymore”, gave me a freedom I have always wanted, but did not know how to achieve. I have an addictive personality, so I tend to go big or go home (balance is key, and I try to apply that to most areas of my life). Trying to keep drinking in my life is way too much work, if it isn’t the drinking (and shitty feeling that comes with it), it is the thinking, and caring so much about it—it is such a waste of time, energy and life. I love the rituals and the experiences, so I still do them, it is more about the getting together or the memory than it is about the drink, we just think it is the drink because it immediately calms our nerves so we want that feeling. It is a behavior change, which takes time. For most, there does come a time when you are done with your back and forth or having this be your thing, you try to prove otherwise, but this is your thing.

I no longer count days, I did the first year or the time I had to start again (which I don’t recommend but that is my story). I wasn’t that bad, that thought kept me stuck in a place of not allowing it to click into FREEDOM. I had to realize this….. It wasn’t that good…. my belief system needed to change and I to rewire my beliefs, and I also had to navigate a way to have fun, to be me, to show up authentically and unapologetically me, and also respect others for where they are at. Stop the shame and blame, let’s just cheers each other on!

I’ve decided I will count years, because I did enough of the Day 1’s, 30/60/90 day cycles, I am just in it, this is how I live, I am not going anywhere in terms of a goal, because I met all the milestones, all the holidays, the travel, the loss, the firsts of everything the year of freedom, all of it. I am just me. Living my best life and inspiring others to do the same. Do you need to be AF to live HIPP, no, but I will ask you to explore your relationship with it and hopefully change it (a process you begin, and I have some great resources for you).

Each month I reward myself with a Spa Day or a Spa Service.

It is hard being AF in an Alcohol obsessed world. I still like to party…. Yep, and I do, I just don’t have alcohol in my drink. I sing, I dance, I raise a glass (and I insist on a fancy glass)…. I just don’t have alcohol in mine and it is the best decision I have made for myself—it is in fact my super power. It did not start that way, and I think it is okay for people to explore this. But let’s stop pretending that alcohol is the answer as it very much is the demise for many. Also, let’s be inclusive of each other…. You want a drink, go for it. You are not drinking, cool. Let’s normalize being inclusive, that it really doesn’t matter what is in your glass, it matters how you show up for yourself. I call this HIPP SIPS, it is our ability to raise a glass together, an AF option or your drink of choice, lets just raise the bar (pun intended) on how we socialize, how we gather and disrupt the narrative on having fun.

Cheers to us!