This is a tagline I am using this holiday season and it is dual meaning. It is the exuberant claim of being Festive AF, and what that means is joy and celebration this season (ON MY TERMS)! This is my practice and I am encouraging you to do the same, and the details will differ, because you do you, but the concept is universal, do more things that bring you joy, on your terms, unapologetically and with a festive spirit! This is not just this season, but I am using this season as an example of the spirit of Living HIPP all year long. You do You. Do more of what you LOVE and less of what does not bring you joy or feel goods. It’s not about the “doing, it is far more about the “being” but more on that in 2023.

For me, the dual meaning and my true meaning for Festive AF is Festive Alcohol Free! Yup, I am living out loud (and quietly on my downtime) to demonstrate that an AF Lifestyle is not only possible, but it is enjoyable. The truth about alcohol is that there is ZERO health benefit, it actually is BAD for your health (Cancer, Heart Disease, Mental Health, Energy, Brain Damage/Memory Loss) but I don’t need to tell you that, because when you have too much, you feel how shitty and damaging it is to the body (the body does not lie). I have earned the place to talk about this, not because I easily gave it up and lived happily ever after…. No, my story is not that, it is a combination of several things: a love affair, it is managing Anxiety, it is easing the pain of loss, loss of income, loss of loved ones, and disappointment. It is also about celebration, marriage, “connection” and how flowing spirits take the edge off in all occasions. I had a love affair with it, and I left it out of my life several times and gave myself the option to invite it back in. We don’t talk about this in a way that is educational, real, relevant and what most women and men deal with but do not bring attention to (denial is real, and I know that denial very well). This topic is not black and white (although for those with serious problems, it needs to be). The untold truth is that there is a wide spectrum, and in that are grey area drinkers, I have been one of those. I will share more of my story, but for now, I just want to be an example of what an AF Lifestyle looks like—I did not get here over night, I have been curious, careful, and my approach has been my own, removing it for periods of time, as it no longer agrees with me feeling my best. I am at the point I don’t want to drink anymore, I now say “I no longer drink” which took me some time to arrive at. Let's be real…. Hangovers suck, like are awful and for some reason we go back to the poison (and it is exactly that, poison, it is no wonder you feel like shit when you drink). Society reveres it and truth be told, years ago, so did I! I did not want to quit drinking, I did not want it to become a problem for me, so I took breaks, so many as I felt amazing when I did not drink. At middle age (and especially for women) our bodies reject it, that shows up in different ways, but for me, it mean’t sleep interruption and more anxiety, I truly thought it helped with my anxiety and it only made it worst. I will delve in more at another point, but for now, my decision to embrace an AF Lifestyle is only about one thing, it is about feeling better, being the best version of myself and leaving things behind that no longer work for me. This was not overnight, it was a process, on in which I will invite some in to share more about.

Living HIPP for me, is a curated plan that helps me feel good in mind/body/spirit—for me, I am AF and rather than feeling like shit, I am going to yoga, I am taking better care of myself, I am no longer trying to detox to retox, that dance we do to keep it in our lives because “we are not that bad”. This year, I have had situations happen, like serious rejection, financial loss, losing a loved one, several disappointments —in the past I would have drank over these things (nothing crazy, but in that, I would add fuel to the fire of “not good enough”, and numb out and feel defeated. I did not do that this year, I fought back, I used my voice, I let go, I went to yoga, I kept my vision and knowing alive and for the first time, really stood by myself like never before. All the work I do and have been doing was really in motion, and my worth was no longer in the hands of others, it was not trampled upon, it was held close, in my power, and in that I truly grew and evolved.

I don’t like the way we handle this topic and also how far behind we are because of marketing, outdated societal norms, misinformed wellness professionals and outdated content that makes me want to run for the hills.

My friends and family drink, it is part of the scene, and sometimes I participate (without alcohol) or I choose to stay home, or rest or do what my body needs, no longer what I think people need from me (or what I think I want or need for myself, peer pressure is real, and it is ridiculously present in drinking culture).

I refuse to just have water, or to feel like an outcast or outsider, or dear I say party pooper. Listen folks, this girl knows how to party, and I must admit it is so much more fun, more magical and bad ass doing it without poison in my glass (yeah, that is what I call it now, because it offers me nothing, nothing but regret, shame, shitty feelings and false “good vibes”. There is nothing more authentic than being clear headed, present and a full on spirit, and it is that spirit that I am demonstrating this season. My spirit is my super power, and alcohol only dampens it, numbs it, when for years I thought it ignited it and made me and things more fun. Did I have my fun, hell yes, but that was years ago, and honestly, the fun was short lived, and the feeling like shit became the outcome, the truth, the net/net when drinking alcohol. Drinking is still a part of my life, my family and friends drink, I do too, just no alcohol in my glass. I refuse to look at this as being deprived (as I had at one point), it is very simple, without it, I am so much better, I feel better, I live better and this realization and shift is a gift, and also just speaking my truth, I don’t fit in any particular group or set of rules, I made my own, and that is what has worked for me. So, when you see me living HIPP, know that part of my formula is being AF, however, Living HIPP for you might be the brave step in looking at your own relationship, do you need to quit? I don’t know. What I do know is that is normally not how people do it. However, the shame and silence attached to this topic needs to be shattered, we need to shed more light on it as a wellness choice, and realize it cannot be (or start as) being black & white. It is okay to be in the grey. It is where the learning and growing begins.

Another tradition that I love with my daughter is our Trip to NYC at Christmastime. We do this every 5 years, and each time I have been in awe of the girl I have raised, and how spirited living and love show up in our life. I first visited NYC at Christmas with my grandmother, it was a magical trip, and I felt that magic again when I took Kaili there during the Christmas Season when she was in Middle School—it was such a memory builder and magical time for both of us. So much that we decided we would go back, and we did when she was 17, another Mother/Daughter trip and this one was healing as it was my first Christmas Season without my Mom. Now 6 years later (Covid did that to all of us) but we had our Mother/Daughter NYC Christmas weekend, and it was like being there with a Best Friend, because I was. We have so many similar interests, and that makes it easier for us and being together. We have the same sense of humor, and that just makes everything so much fun. Indeed, we were laughing all the way!

We packed a lot in on our weekend trip, but also we both enjoy yummy food, a dining experience so that helped to off set the hustle/bustle and crowds (which we both don’t love). This year seeing the Rockette’s topped our list of favorites, we have seen the show each time, and there is something about it that just brings on the Christmas Spirit.

This is her first year out of college and living in the city, we picked up our girl in Boston, and Charlie brought us to the train station. Listening to her on a work call made this Momma proud, she is crushing it in her sales job, working hard & is dedicated to go above & beyond (while I believe in work/life balance, as a new graduate and a person in her/his twenties, hard work should be part of the game, something part of this generation does not get. She gets it, but also I need to remind her to slow down, not over commit and most importantly, take care of herself while she works hard growing her career. On occasions such as this, I am in the moment, enjoying our time, but somewhere in my mind I also am in awe of where we are, how this new stage in her life is the beginning of so much more. I want to be there every step of the way, but also taking steps back, I’m growing as she is growing, we are both learning together, the beautiful dance of life.

We arrive in NYC and the hustle and bustle is real. I insist we walk to our hotel, which we do, and freshen up, and hit Bryant Park for some shopping and then dinner. The start of our weekend felt magical, spirits were high, and we were happy to be there, and be together. It rained on our Christmas Parade on Saturday, but that did not stop us from seeing sights and shopping—lots of laughs, a few moments of “really mom” or “c’mon Kaili” and more importantly festive spirits abound. Our evening began early with festive libations at Valerie, a decked out place Kaili wanted to have a drink before the show. Much to my surprise they had a selection of AF options, which fancied my experience, and was a nod and wink to somethings I envision in the bar scene of the future. We enjoyed the Rockette’s, and if there is anything that will get you into the spirit of the Christmas season it is that show. Kaili being a dancer makes it even more special, I told her she should be up there, she stated she can’t, she’s not tall enough, my outlier spirit pondered that and believes there is always a way (I believe that with my whole heart and spirit, we CAN do anything we want to, period end)! We had the nicest dinner at a steak house, taking our time, enjoying every course, from apps, to salads to entree’s to dessert—I love dining out, I do not like to do it so much (home body here) but when I do, good food, good company and good cheer (more to come on how I define good cheer these days)! Wink. Wink….

Once again, we found ourselves at Rockefeller Center, the sights and sounds were great, we experienced some crowds, and that was my cue it was time to call it a night (my girl was fully on board). You see, as festive as my spirit is, and as I do feel magic as a grown mature woman, I have anxiety that is dormant, then appears, and in that, I listen to my body (or mind or both) and say, lets get out of here, nothing big or urgent, just living life on my terms.

Sunday morning we were up early, tried to take advantage of the “free breakfast” my husband had mentioned came with our stay at the hotel. We were anxious to get out, so we chose the cafe’ grab and go, have coffee and will travel.

We walked to Central Park, watched some skating, went to the Plaza and ended up having brunch at the Peninsula Hotel, it was wonderful! After a few stops along the way, it was time to get back to the hotel and head to the train station to head home to Boston. On the train I reflected, I thought about how grateful I was for this trip, how grateful I am for this girl, and how grateful I am for our relationship. We are close, we are connected in a way I can’t describe, but feel deeply in my heart, I know she feels it too. We have our moments, trust me, there is a lot of sarcasm, laughter, and eye rolls, but that is just sprinkled in, it is also filled with so much joy, so much love, so much laughter and a little girl, who became a grown woman, who is not only my daughter, she is my best friend. My love for my children is so strong, so strong that my fear and anxiety can ignite, and I need to bring myself back to the moment, to breathe, to remind myself I am okay and we are okay. I have had a lot of love in my life but my love for my children is something I can’t even describe, the feeling is so deep and is just built into my heart, body and soul. It is who I am and it has captured my heart unlike anything else.

Charlie picked us up in Boston at the train station and this time, rather than come home we dropped our girl off at her apartment in Boston. How is it we got here, the lightening speed of time is just something I will never get my head around. We headed home, I saw my puppies, got on jammies and felt the comforts of home. Grateful for another girls trip and also thinking how the trips in the future will change and grow. For now, it’s her and I, this special bond that will always be part of us—and will never end. Love never ends, it is who we are and how we live.

Love for ourselves and each other be it mother/daughter, son, friend, sister, and all the roles we play. It just grows, evolves and is always present, always there to feel.

These are the times, these are the moments that matter, the trips or outings, and the everyday, the conversations, texts or love we express through laughter, through words or through thoughtful expression.

XO

Losing a loved one is never easy, and grief is something I know well as it came into my life sooner than I was ready.

My Dad left this earth too young, too soon, and it is a pain that resides within me that is still healing. A few years after the sudden loss of my Dad, a new man would enter my life, and he would bring with him a family that I would become part of and fall in love with. Charlie’s Dad (and his Mom) entered my life almost 30 years ago, and I am better because of them. While we are sad (and yes, I have been weepy all week), this is a celebration of his life, a long, beautiful life—we are so grateful for all the years, and all the wonderful memories.

As I watch my husband and his sister grieve this loss, I know the hurt and pain and I feel it inside as well. Seeing my children lose their Bumpa is hard, it is the end of an era, a person and time in their lives they will always cherish, in their world, “Bumpa” means Happy. They are blessed with such love, incredible memories and a grandfather that would become iconic to many, and also a Bumpa to all, as many kids looked to him in that role. In the family, I am trying to be the strong one, the supportive one, there for my husband who is incredibly close to his Dad, and there for my children who are incredibly close to their Bumpa. It is here that I come to process, to write, to reflect and to feel the feels that are simply love, the love I have for him, the love I have for the years of “The Bumpa’s” and how he and Peg influenced my life, and how they became my family.

I will never forget learning about his parents and then meeting them for the first time. I wasted time and energy before hand thinking “will I be enough: smart enough, mature enough, sophisticated enough, essentially good enough?"

From the moment I met them, they embraced me, and welcomed me into the family with love and open arms. The vast difference between our families, with the Guyer’s it was candlelight dinners, fancy dinnerware, great conversation and a lot of laughter. A Mellor gathering was full of the same love, but it was large, loud and full of kids and young adults—it was social, family centered and full of laughter--we had the best of both worlds. I was always seated next to Bumpa at family dinners, he was so kind, so loving, so attentive and he and Peg made me feel special, we would in fact become an integral part of each others lives.

Bob could not take the place of my Dad and we both knew that and unspokenly respected this. He did become a hybrid of both father and grandfather to me, when he became Bumpa, it gave birth to a new chapter in his life. While he always shared how much I brought to the family, it was their love in return that I will always remember and hold close to my heart. They were so involved in our lives, and we loved the friendship, the support, the gatherings and the laughter and conversations throughout the years. Living close by, they were there for everything, kid’s sports & dance, school activities, and there to support and help in every way—the best of both friendship and family. Holidays became the opportunity to host them, and take care of them as they spent their lives taking care of all of us. Of course, in the later years we were finally able to really take care of them and that is the wonder and grace of the circle of life.

It feels like the end of an era, but I can’t help but think it is a continuation of love, legacy and the memories that connect each generation. Being part of the Bumpa stage of life has been nothing but a gift and seeing these amazing people in their element as grandparents—the kids were so blessed as were we. So while I stand by my husband in his grief, and my children as they miss their Bumpa, I also have this piece of my heart that will always be with the Bumpa’s. For they have been and will forever be dear to my heart!

We celebrated so many things about Bob (Bumpa) this past week, and we were so amazed and then not surprised by the common theme: nicest man, kind/friendly/special, humble, always of service and helping others. He was truly a remarkable man in so many ways, that of which, not many people knew about…

This loss is big for our family and those that loved Bumpa, he was such a big part of our lives. I keep reminding myself and our family that he had a long and wonderful life, 88 years and blessed with a beautiful life, so while we miss him, we celebrate him even more. They (Gramma & Bumpa) were so dedicated to us, supporting us as a young family, helping us with the kids and that miracle of grandparents and their grandkids was felt in our home and in our many visits to “Bumpa’s”. In later years, we would take care of them, our lives changed 7 years ago when Gramma got sick, and Charlie was there almost every night for his parents—Bob would often say he knew the sacrifice we were making, I recall always thanking them for help and knew we would be there for them someday. It was time to take care of them, and we did so in the best way we would, while I held down the fort at home and cooked for Bumpa, Charlie and he had companionship, and a friendship that flourished even more.

They will be part of our family, our memories, our conversations and our traditions—that is love and that never leaves us, it is here to stay. While they loved their two children beyond anything, it was their 5 grandchildren that would become their pride & joy these past two decades.

Every time I saw him he would say “Oh Pamela, I love you—do you know how much I love you". I would respond, I love you too Bumpa—we were both so blessed and we knew the gift we were to each other, it was beautiful, genuine and something I will forever cherish.

This is the circle of life, it is part of what we all experience. Charlie and I were so blessed with being close to our parents, and our in laws, love truly was the foundation of it all. We have learned from the best, so as we heal, and as we figure out our life moving forward, we take that love with us, and we focus on the love, which is far greater than the loss. We love you Bumpa, you are and always will be the nicest man I have ever known. XO

There are some stories in my life and the lives of those around me that are profound and worth sharing. It is the ordinary becoming extraordinary and it often involves Fate, Faith and in my life, Dreams, not just mine, but the Vision and hopes of others. We lost my husband’s Dad, Bumpa to our children and as I refer to him, the love of our lives. It is a mix of sadness and celebration, and we are in awe of the man he was, so humble, so kind, so giving, so smart, so accomplished and always there for everyone. Simply put, he was one of the best, I was so blessed with not only amazing parents, but also amazing in-laws, and in this post, I will share a full-circle story.

Bumpa had many accomplishments, but he was the last to speak about them or himself. This Midwestern boy (and couple) came to Boston in the late 50’s to pursue his Master’s Degree at MIT—he did not complete that degree, but he and his wife fell in love with Boston and made it their home for the rest of their lives. It began in a Brownstone on Comm Ave in Boston until they stumbled upon their home in Beverly, MA which is where they would raise their family, welcome their grandchildren and become part of the community in both big and small ways. Peg & Bob enjoyed the arts including the theatre, the symphony and all of the museums in Boston—they created a great life, and experienced it all, and provided so much for their two children. In 1999, it was their turn to be the grandparents, and to fully enjoy the magic and wonder of grandparenting—they would soon have babies, toddlers and school age children bringing joy to their lives and their home (and they indulged in this role with their 5 beloved grandchildren). We were all so blessed to be so close to “the Bumpa’s” and the friendships, relationships and bonds grew even stronger. I saw their love first hand, I experienced it personally, I saw it in my children and in my husband, I can’t speak more positive about who they are and how they were, they truly led their lives with love.

Bob and Peg consider themselves coming from humble beginnings, education was extremely important, and culture, experiences and living on the East Coast aligned with their dreams of creating more opportunities for themselves and their family. While they pursued their dreams and lived a great life, they were sure to always be of service, and felt strongly about equal opportunity for children, especially those less fortunate. In the early 70’s, Peg and Bob were part of the Founders of what is known today as Beverly Children’s Learning Center (BCLC), a program that they and a few church friends started almost 50 years ago, to provide educational opportunities (pre-school education at the time) for financially underprivileged children in their community. What began in a church basement from the vision and heart of it’s generous founders has become a state of the art learning center that has served hundreds of children over the years. It is a remarkable legacy, one in which we will continue to support and participate in.

The story is interesting enough, but for me personally, it means even more—they mean even more to me (my Bumpa’s whom I love and adore). In the early 70’s when they created this program on the North Shore, little did they know that on the South Shore their future daughter in law would be one of those children that would benefit from a federally funded program. When I was 2 years old, (with 5 kids under the age of 8) my Dad suffered a Massive Heart Attack, he was only 28 years old. He was not expected to survive, but miraculously, he pulled through. His health condition was so serious that he could no longer work and his loss of pay was devastating to our family financially.

As a working class family, we went from paycheck to paycheck to no paycheck, and were classified (and truly) low income. I was put in a program called “Head Start” which was pre K, and I thought it was just school (and my Mom worked there), but later years when I got my degree in Elementary Education I learned about this program “Head Start”, and how it was to support low income and financially challenged families. You see, I was one of those kids. I was a young child that had been impacted with financial insecurity, and while they created a program, I was a kid at that very same time benefiting from a similar program. I had the blessing of great parents, a loving home and my parents always turned our situation around, we made the very best of what little we had, and love costs nothing, so love became the center of family and how we were raised.

The little girl that attended Head Start and wore hammy downs from sisters and cousins, would always have hope, always have dreams and while their home was small, her Mom always made it cozy and a place people felt comfort and at home. That little girl would deal with financially insecurity her entire life, and education was her way out, so she did all she could to put herself through college. That one decision (college), that was scary and seemed impossible changed the trajectory of her life. Her circles would open up and grow, and in that process she would meet her husband (Charlie) and they would begin a life together. The irony of the pre-school and being a student in a funded program at the same time 2 hours away, is the beauty of this story. My in-laws appreciated my hard work and independence but also wanted for me to just be a kid (when you are financially independent you grow up quickly and you either lead the charge or you fall victim to the circumstance. and as I grew my Vision, I wanted more opportunity for myself and my family (the one I would have some day). Charlie and I truly have the best of both worlds in the families we came from, while our experiences were different, the core values were very much aligned. We both bring our family culture with us in building our own, the main components are family, faith, love, gratitude, humor, authenticity and even more opportunities, traditions and our own stamp of Guyer 5. Looking back at what they have done for me (love, support, friendship, encouragement), they were I gift to me and seeing them with their grandkids, I know now and as they shared, I was a gift to them. I get chills just thinking about it.

Seeing the BCLC grow and the legacy that they started, makes me so proud to be part of this family, and also knowing my own journey of pursuing more, creating opportunity, working hard and not blaming anyone or anything became my roadmap and how I drastically changed my life, yet did not change the values I grew up with.

To be a guest at the school or to be part of any celebration is so meaningful, as we are so proud of our Bumpa’s legacy. I also feel a deep appreciation that I can inspire others to go after their dreams, to create more in their life and to take 100% responsibility in making that happen. As Bumpa would say, you can’t control the cards you were dealt (when he would refer to these kids that were part of funded programs), but what I know and have experienced and revisit all the time is that we can control how we respond. How we rise. How life challenges are either going to take us down or we see it as an invitation to believe in more, believe in better and be the change we want to see.

Even thou I was considered “Poor” based on the numbers growing up, my Dad always reminded us how Rich we were, it is all in how you think, act and live. I hope this story inspires you to do better, be it being of service to others or perhaps grace for yourself and letting go of what you can’t control, but inviting positive change with what you can.

Believe in your dreams, believe in what is possible, follow your heart and always know, you are enough, just the way you are!

Little Girls with Big Dreams become Women who will Change the World. This little girl wanted to make her life even better, and she did just that. Now she wants to make the world better, and she is working on herself because when she does, she will in fact, change the world! XO

I am a big proponent of Retreating and that can be done in a variety of ways. We can “retreat” daily for 15 minutes of alone time. While it is not a Retreat I refer to it as an Exhale, an opportunity to quiet the mind, still the body, and breathe.

I also like one-day retreats, taking myself to a quiet location, perhaps doing some planning or creative work and ideally having a spa service—it depends upon the reason and season.

Over the years I have hosted several “Leadership and Team Retreats”. By nature they are inspiring, heart centered, and allow people to get clear on their vision and goal setting for the season or year. The connection and community are the magic in these retreats. It is the people that make it, and transformation in thoughts, beliefs, and vision grows bigger, and the plan and execution are always either determined or the follow-up to the event. It all matters.

Leading training events has been a core part of my professional life, both in corporate and for the past 20 years as an entrepreneur.

Even when the location is dreamy when I facilitate, I put my whole heart and self into the planning an actual Retreat, that I need a few days following to rest and reset (even though I feel some of that). It is just what happens when you are so invested in creating a great experience for everyone.

I got to be a participant last week and attended a Retreat for both Refresh and business expansion.

I came close to not going, as the usual excuses were there (too much happening right now, this is a big investment, etc….). While that was part real and part fear blocking me, the real thing holding me back was that my father in law has not been well, and I was afraid to leave. My husband insisted that I go. And after going through several disappointments and truly unbelievable events—I just said YES, I CHOOSE ME! I can say I am so glad I made that bold move, as not only did I say YES to me and choose me, but I also grabbed my power back and let my heart lead the way (not other people). It has inspired me, even more, to continue on that Path of YES, and inspire others to do the same.

This Retreat was definitely luxury, a real treat.

Located in the Berkshires in Lenox, MA, Canyon Ranch is a renowned Spa and Wellness program that embraces a holistic approach to better living. Personally, it provided space and time to reflect, time outside in nature, and time attending lectures on various topics around Better Living—my inner geek was doing cartwheels. I have had a love of learning for a long time, and this filled that part of me that loves to learn. That felt really great.

I had other amazing opportunities including a Spiritual Guide that facilitated a great session.

She encouraged me on my Path and reminded me that I know the way. Time in the Spa and both relaxing and healing. It felt incredible just to release the weight of others, and be present, and mindful—which led to spiritual and powerful from beginning to end. The food was incredible, super healthy, and delicious.

And while this girl used to love her drinks—can I say how nice it was to be in an environment that was Alcohol-Free? That is real wellness, and the Canyon Ranch demonstrates alignment in truly providing healthy options. Years ago this would have been a “what the heck”, I did not understand authenticity, vulnerability, and the social injustice around this topic.

I loved the beverage bar. I was doing immunity shots, having matcha lattes, and my nightly golden milk. This made it a true rest and recovery Retreat—as everything we ate and drank was clean! Well done, Canyon Ranch!

Part of this particular Retreat included a business component that focused on growth & results.

I equally loved this part of the Retreat as it spoke to my desire to grow Living HIPP, which I put on hold for many years. Now it is time to make up for the lost time (and revenue) and create something that will serve others in the most profound way. So many things have happened and I am being pushed to do more. As a young fifty-something, I am accepting the invitation and calling.

All I have ever wanted to do is inspire others, to create opportunities for both people and companies to grow. I have had the good fortune of working with and for some companies that had incredible leadership and team culture and along with the spirit of Living HIPP (women supporting women) I am determined to do more because we can do better. The world is scary and fragmented and we need to bring Emotional Intelligence, Team Work, Personal Growth, Kindness, and Compassion into every community we serve.

I am freeing up space

I am letting go of people pleasing/waiting and walking into my greatest chapter with a far bigger purpose and divine guidance. We all know our higher self, our 2.0 version, and I have been working on her diligently this entire year. She knows where you are going and what your calling is. Just listen to her, and don’t pay attention to the noise and distractions around you. You know the way, you are the Path, and it is your time!

If you have read this far in this post, this is a reminder to make sure you schedule “time to retreat” on your calendar.

A daily retreat of alone time (if only for 5 minutes of breathing/no technology), monthly to escape your home and cozy up in a coffee house, nice lounge, or co-working space. The best is the day retreat, the weekend retreat, or the days away that feed your soul. As part of your Bucket List, add a luxury retreat/spa experience, everyone deserves this experience and it will open up space for so much more!

Remember, Retreat to Restore.

Let's Do This!

Fall is such a spirited time and season. It touches all of the senses and evokes feelings of comfort and change all in one. Many welcome Fall and are ready for the change in Season. While some resist and want the summer months to stay.

I love the Fall Season. It ignites my spirit and my senses in this season are comforting and grounded. I have read a few things about the Season that I would like to share here, as this season brings lessons and reminders as we are constantly learning, growing, being, and awakened in our intentional living.

Change

The season is a time of change and a reminder that change is inevitable and healthy. We resist change at times because we might have fear of the unknown or feel less in control. We all need to be reminded that we don’t have to take on that burden. We are guided, and the Universe has our back. Welcome in change, and lean into those feelings of delight and discovery (as opposed to fear and resistance).

Letting Go

The leaves teach us the shedding that occurs each season. While it is necessary, it is also spiritually aligned with letting go. I believe life and our experiences are a process of letting go. We create attachments to things that are truly not ours. We try to control things that are just not in our control nor should they be. Letting go is the gateway to Peace. It is a process and an important step in alignment and flow. What are you holding on to that you need to let go of? How can you release what is no longer serving you, and lighten your heart and soul?

Harvesting

While the crops turn over, and the frost is upon us, there is a harvesting happening and seeds being planted that will later grow and bless us. It is underground. We can’t see it. We need to believe that the work we are doing when we don’t see results is a reflection of how life often works. Tend to your garden, and show up on the days there is not anything to see or proof of growth. Have faith that your work will create abundance in the seasons ahead.

Comfort

This is a season of comfort, from food, to festivities, to warm drinks, warm homes, and a crackling wood fire outdoors or warmth from the hearth indoors. There is a cozy feel to the season, from clothing to conversations and the shorter days bring an opportunity to cozy up. Home is a sacred space for many. Our homes should be a place where we retreat, and feel comfort, joy, peace, and love.

Growth

While we don’t see it happening, we are in a process and evolution of growth. Growth comes out of both synergy and challenges. Everything happens for a reason. Seasons are opportunities. They are times when we change and shed what no longer serves us. In this season, most of the growth goes unseen. It is energy and transpiring that will rebirth in a new season.

Love

Love is everywhere every season! We must lead with it, lean into it, and align with it. In doing so we will attract more of it into our lives. This spirit and energy are best ignited in family life or at home when our hearts are full and we have more love to give. We must receive that love each day—filling our cups each day with positive thoughts, positive feelings, and love for ourselves and others.

Fall is a great time for intention setting.

While we grow and evolve, we restore this unforgettable feeling inside that the season brings. I like to call it the “warm and fuzzies”, which is the spirit and love you reside in as you enjoy the comforts of home and the beauty of the season.

The end of August and early September is a time of transition, and I can feel that change in energy and see it in those around me. I had to do a training the other day for my team, and my immediate thought was, “where are they mentally and in life”. It was about transition which can bring on overwhelm, anxiety, business, or procrastination as a result.

We have trained and trained and trained on “how to” do the business.

I equally value emotional intelligence and what life is bringing them. That is the true essence of ebbs and flow in business & life. When it comes to productivity, it is crucial to implement a plan while addressing where you are at, honoring your time, your family, and as I always say, being able to put family first. So I trained on the obvious need for “transition” and how to create momentum in business while putting family first. Being a Mom in business takes a lot of grace, and I will shout from the rooftops that Moms are in fact, the Super Heroes (and yes Dads, many of you are too)!

I decided to write a post on it because many of you are feeling the same.

It does not just mean for Moms. It is for all of us. And wouldn’t you know in yoga yesterday, my teacher read a message about “transition”. I immediately thought of my training and how my gut instinct once again was aligned with where people are at. And to me, it was a God wink on where we are at.

I had to also realize that this is where I am at.

My boys are going off to college. My daughter flying the nest with her big girl job and apartment in the city. My husband and I once again are looking at each other with excitement and uncertainty about how we do this. It is all still so new. We love our routine, really found our groove last year, and we are establishing that again this year.

I am going to share some things here that I trained on, but also some things I am doing to transition into the next season.

This season requires so many things: vision, grounding, organization, energy, reflection, planning, love, and gratitude. I am going to say it again and again and again, a positive attitude! It’s okay to feel “all the feels”. It is just not okay to stay there for days and weeks. Life is too precious and you are way too important to get pulled into the weeds of life.

These are guidelines for transition. They are not about kicking your Fall off and being on fire. That comes, but before that comes, we must take time to be present, time to inhale, time to exhale, and practice grace & gratitude.

1. Take time to Plan.

Coffee or tea, your calendar and if you are like me, your list, what needs to happen between now and end of the month. What are the absolutes for next month? What can you take off your list, delegate, not do, and let go of?

2. Take time for YOU!

Your energy and how you feel are important. Refuse to burn it at both ends (that was my strategy in my 20’s & 30’s). While you might crush goals, you will also crush your soul. Perhaps this time will require more from you, but embrace progress over perfection, and try your best each day to practice self-care.

3. Take time to assess.

At the end of summer, what did you do that you are so grateful for? What did you not do? Are you feeling like you had enough time with the kids and you are ready for the magical yellow bus to pull up? Are you wishing for just one more thing? How about work/business? Did you achieve your goals and/or you are feeling good about your performance? If not, what can you do to move the needle, and work smarter not harder? Summer 2022: is there something simple you can do to celebrate this season as you welcome on the next? No phone: unless you are a brain surgeon, it can wait.

4. Take time to declutter.

Oh, the season transition is also a time to release what weighs you down. I am not just talking about the rooms in your house, I am talking about your house, your home, and your body/mind/spirit. This is an ongoing process. For me personally, my bedroom needs major attention. But also my body/mind/soul needs that refresh and reset. I love a new season, and this time of transition offers hope. But also an underlying feeling of anxiety, which is why all of these things are so important.

5. Take time to walk it out.

You know how important I think it is to walk outside, every single day (even if it is 5 to 10 minutes). Fresh air, pretty scenery, and sun on your face (light) will help with not only your thoughts, but it can shift your energy. It is a simple power play in resetting instantly. When in doubt, walk it out.

6. Take time to talk it out.

We need to process our feelings. This can be done in a number of ways. I suggest all. A walk or talk with a girlfriend is good for the soul. This helps us release what is on our minds. It helps us get input or validation and at times clarity and direction. It simply allows us to release our thoughts around current events in our lives or in the world.

These conversations are real. Also, I encourage you to make sure you are talking with the right people. It is okay to complain, but don’t surround yourself with negative people or complainers. Walk with those that are like-minded, heart-centered, and support each other. We all need a friend.

I also highly recommend therapy. It is so important to have a person to talk to who is focused on you, objective, and skilled at listening and giving you insight. A life coach is another valuable role, I recommend both.

7. Take time for mindfulness.

This is everything. In these times of transition, we want to escape. We want to numb, run, check out, and get through it and on to the other side. Often we feel like we are on the hamster wheel, and we don’t see how to get off.

Begin where you are. Be present. Be mindful. It is a practice. The more you do it, the better you get. In no way am I saying don’t escape. We all like to escape at times, but choose a positive escape and try and avoid the traps of overeating, over drinking, over scrolling, and over binging. I have done all of these things, and have also learned how to avoid this trap. When I am more mindful and present, I am happier.

8. Take time to breathe.

Inhale the good juju (hope, inspiration, possibility, new season), and exhale the negative (fear, doubt, exhaustion, paralysis, negative thoughts). Exhale even more. Give yourself space. Open up space for all the good. The good vibes, the bright side, the positive people, the light. Create a lens of gratitude. This shifts EVERYTHING. Gratitude is your superpower, and using it daily will change your life. Breathe in gratitude, exhale the attitude.

One Day at a Time. It is the best advice to get through challenging, busy or transitional times. Clear Eyes, Full Heart, Can’t Lose.

Let’s Do This!!!!!

I am being called to talk and teach about manifestation. While I have some ideas, I don’t know exactly what that looks like. I am in this place of pregnancy. No, I am not pregnant, that ship has sailed. What I am doing is growing and preparing for more.

My “more” is not to be confused with adding on. My more these days always means “less”. It means clarity, simplicity, unapologetically calling in what is meant for me, and releasing all that is not meant for me.

I have been on a journey of personal development, personal growth.

When I created Living HIPP, it was because of my own personal transformation of going inside and finding my voice, and honoring myself in body, mind, & spirit. The trajectory of Living HIPP is not linear. As life happens, and while we are spiritual beings attracting more (or less) into our lives, we also encounter challenges which shift our energy, pull us, and pause us.

While they do not feel good at the time, most of our challenges are our opportunities for growth. We just don’t see it and that is okay. Just having faith, you will get through. You are being guided is all you need in these times.

After a decade later of Living HIPP, I have far more lessons and more wisdom than I had a decade ago.

That is the beauty of life. We never arrive…we are always learning, growing, being, and evolving. When we get stuck, it is just a signal to either change direction or go deeper and get curious about our inner knowings. Turning our confusion into curiosity is what brings clarity.

I am not an intuitive, professionally.

I don’t see that as my calling, but I do see intuition as my gift. I have been intuitive & it has become even more clear as I open up space and my life simplifies. Clarity is key and finding space and time to nurture this is the answer for all women.

I feel people’s emotions. I can easily think about the other person. I can easily see the good in others (and I also observe the areas for growth). I deeply care, and that works for me as a leader. But at times, it can be a burden, because there are situations I should not care as much as I do. I am aware of this.

In order to truly live in alignment, on purpose, and own our lives (as I talk about in Living HIPP), we must be self-aware.

That is truly where it all begins. Self-aware means being fully open to what is possible, believing when the evidence says otherwise, being compassionate with self and others (I continue to work on this one), and being mindful of our thoughts, actions, and reactions. We need to become our own best coach, our own best cheerleader and to have an open mind and heart to allow in more, and to believe in more. Self-aware is our ability to go inward, listen to the voice and whisper inside, follow our gut, and see our Dharma (purpose). it is listening to the wisdom inside.

For 2 decades, I have labeled myself a Mom Boss, and that has been my truth.

My incredible experience in creating success as a businesswoman and mom is one that I am so grateful for. I have also hidden behind this identity as well because that next step or bigger calling is felt, but I have allowed fear to stifle it to some degree. I realize no one is coming along and choosing me. I think I have thought that was to happen and/or would be more comfortable than putting myself out there even more. Have I not done that enough?

Perhaps you too have felt this tug, and have had these same feelings. You question your path and you know spiritually, that there is more inside of you. I have felt this. I have nurtured this. I have in fact looked for the validation outside of me (still waiting for that invitation from Oprah to sit on her Couch under the trees and talk about the lifestyle of Living HIPP)!

The truth is, no one is going to do any of it for you and you are not to be chosen.

The fact is…You are chosen. This requires us to release the fear and build the faith to know that we have everything inside of us that we need. We are enough. So while I accept that I don’t need Oprah to call me, validate me, and choose me (even though I feel that need, perhaps it is a knowing). The point here is to step forward, do the work, choose myself, and show up as me to do the work on my higher self.

This is my spiritual calling and what needs to happen in order for me to teach women to do the same. I am doing the work. I am in it, and I don’t have all of the answers. But what I know for sure is that we are the co-creators of our life. We attract what we believe. We become who we believe we are. Our work is to shift and align with ourselves (and our higher self) to know that she is being called to be, do and have more.

So I am sharing what I do.

I’m sharing my daily rituals and routines and also acknowledging that this all happens from both strength and vulnerability. I invite my vulnerabilities along and embrace them as gifts (yes, I am working on this and continue to build belief in it when I used to allow it to hinder me).

Why Manifestation?

Why do I believe in it, and how can I lead women through creating more (and less) in their lives? While I am not one of the giants (Oprah, Elizabeth Gilbert, or Gabby Bernstein to name a few), I have in fact manifested the shit out of life. And I am growing even more in this space). I see entrepreneurs teaching and doing this work, and I realize, I have more experience in life, and business, and have actually achieved bigger things. This is not a brag, just a fact I had to remind myself of.

Here is the difference…they are talking about it, teaching it, and creating programs for women to find their voice, and own their life and while I talk about it, I have not launched that program (yet)! Here we go again, stop thinking and start doing. Yes, see it believe it, but take that next step and create it!

A look back at what I have Manifested…..

Child: Winning the Slurpee raffle at the beach (I actually believed my ticket would win, it did)!

Teens: Homecoming Queen & Prom Queen (for real, I actually pictured this in high school & it happened)

20’s: Going to college. Career & Getting my Master’s, later meeting my husband (dreams come true)

30’s: Owning a Home, Being Married & having children, Being a Mom Boss (I literally saw it when I was single)

40’s: Success in Business, Family-centered Living (my amazing kids), Healthy Lifestyle (Yoga), Purpose: teacher/speaker/writer, Dream Home (huge renovation), Travel, Write Book & Simplifying (downsizing).

50’s: Balance, Raising amazing humans (the best work I have done), meeting Oprah (it was meant to happen)

Personal Brand (in progress), Coastal Home (another big one), Living HIPP (my life and routine is how I love to spend my time: reading/writing, yoga, beach, walking dogs, simple joys).

Note: All of the above happened and it was all part of my vision and imagination before any of it happened. It also happened alongside challenges, setbacks, and dealing with personal struggles which I would later identify as anxiety, ADHD, and Addictive Personality/Behavior (more to come on all of this).

I believe so much in this because I have lived it.

I continue to live it. I also know that I need to step out even more (which is the simple step to be braver and do the work, not only with myself, but to teach others how to do it, unlock it, and live it). I am in that next chapter of Empty Nest so my viewpoint is even more relevant as I have raised amazing human beings (every mom’s dream).

I have built successful businesses. I have learned to balance both work & home (pretty, and not so pretty). I have designed my life, and a long time ago I refused to be designed by life. I can share this because my beginnings were humble. I am proud of that and know that anything is possible when you believe, take action, and lead with your heart.

Admittedly, it would be easier for me to get a call from Oprah’s producers to book me, talk about my book, my experience, and share from that platform.

But in that thinking, I am handing my power over, and not truly owning it. I have to be brave, step forward, and continue sharing my story, my triumphs (as shared above), my challenges (because we all have them), and help more women create and manifest the life they desire.

Who am I to do this? Oh darling…. (My spiritual guide), Who are you not to?

The world is waiting! Step forward, be you and create a container for women to discover themselves, their voice, their desires, dreams, and discontents. You want to make the world a better place? It is simply you living your best life (higher self) and teaching and inspiring others to do the same.

We Rise Together!

My husband and I had the good fortune of going back to the home we built/renovated and raised our family in for almost a decade. This home was a dream of ours, and we put our hearts into it. Within the walls and grounds of the residence, we built the most amazing memories with our children in their growing years. This beauty you see was the vision we had when we first looked at the house which was a worn, single-story ranch-style home that needed a full renovation and update.

The location of this property is was drew me in.

I will never forget going to the Open House when it was a ranch. It did not have curb appeal, and the interior needed updating, but I saw the vision immediately. The location was special, and to have a flat lot, in a beautiful area in the town we were raising our kids was so appealing. I immediately said to my husband “Let’s buy it.”

We were not seriously looking at the time as we lived in a fairly new home. But we wanted more privacy, more land, and our dream home. He rejected as he does in every home sale. But I persisted and cast a vision with him of what it could be. We made an offer that night so that we could make this our home. The rest is history. We did some renovations before we moved in to make it comfortable until we could do a major renovation.

Our kids were little, and moving into this home and location was exciting.

Upon entering Boardman Lane, it felt like the Hampton’s of the North Shore. However, our home needed to transform, and our vision was to make it one of the most beautiful homes on the street. More importantly, it was to create beautiful memories & moments with our kids.

We wanted to create a 2 story shingle-style home, and for it to look like properties you see on Nantucket or MV. I can remember I had a binder full of magazine pictures that reflected my taste. With 2 kids in preschool and 1 in Kindergarten, it was a place and space where we built magical memories. Those memories and this home are so special. it is indeed magical.

We hired one of the best architects on the North Shore and began our journey and vision of creating our Dream Home.

The only thing missing for us was the ocean. That was our long-term dream and desire from the beginning. The vision was a beautiful shingle-style home, open space, coastal vibe, and accommodating family living, and entertaining. It would have modern amenities yet classic style. The source of inspiration was many, but specifically the Harborview Hotel in MV (where we stay) and the movie “As Good as it Gets” (East Coast/Hamptons Vibe).

While renovating is hard, and we actually lived there during it, we loved the process.

This is the time in our lives that we built our Dream Home. Friends still refer to my Kitchen. It was amazing and most certainly a Dream Kitchen, designed by another Mom in town who happens to be a sought-after kitchen designer across the country. She is so talented).

We loved this home, the interiors, the land, & location. It was a dream come true! In 2012, we still had projects on the home to do. There was some landscaping and we wanted a pool.

But the excitement of doing more wore off.

I knew if we wanted this, I had to work like I did a few years previously, and that did not appeal to me. I suggested to my husband we consider selling the property. He thought I was crazy, and insisted we stay. We loved this home, but I hit the wall. My spark and energy to do projects outside were not there, and my vision (the bigger one) was to live by the ocean.

I wanted to downsize and most importantly, I wanted a home in our town that did not need any work (and then we could save for that second home by the beach). Looking back now, it was my gut telling me, you’ve got to release this so that you can simplify and have more down the road. I convinced Charlie that this would be a smart decision, and we decided we would put it on the market. If it were not to sell, we were meant to stay.

This was a difficult decision.

But I had a gut feeling it was the right one. Leaving this home was so hard. I can remember crying as I pulled out of the driveway the last time. I was leaving my baby behind, and I was closing the door on the place that held my family, was home to my babies, and a reflection of my heart & soul.

While the selling process was not easy (because it is emotional) the end result was a family new to town, that loved the home as we did. I wanted them to enjoy it as much as we did. I also had to explain the value of the home, the vibe, the good juju, and the amazing views from every room. I knew in my heart it was a gem, and my wishes for them were sincere in that they enjoy it as much as we did, and they see the value in it as they would update the landscape and install a gorgeous pool.

I had the good fortune to connect with the owner, and we stay in touch each year.

Seeing her make this home even better, is a nod to how each home has a story, and we are all part of it. Some might think, I would be closed off to them, or resent that this was now their home. My spirit was and is quite the opposite. I made a choice to be positive, to be happy for them, and as such, she and I have a special relationship where we both love the home and respect that we are both parts of it. It truly is the best feeling.

They made it even better, and they welcome me back and make me feel at home. As I walk through the space, it feels like home. It is so familiar and I can remember so many memories from design decisions, to delicious dinners, and everyday family living.

The fireplace is original to the house. It is huge, and we have had so many roaring fires, which include wonderful gatherings and conversations with family and friends. We hosted so many holidays and get-togethers. At one time, it was a great place for business events & socials where I would host my team for bigger events.

While all that was incredible, we were entering a phase of wanting to do less.

We did not want to always have parties and entertain. We wanted to simplify. This was in a way, an opportunity to simplify our living. It was a time in our life, and while “home” is something that is sacred to me, life does change, and being open to that change is part of all of our stories and journeys.

Here is the big lesson of this story….

There was a reason we sold our Dream Home even at the time it was with such ambivalence. We landed in a great location with a pool that suited our family just perfectly. Had we not made this decision, Charlie would never have started his business Guyer Group which has been an incredible opportunity for him and our family.

Sometimes we need to let go of something really good, to create space for something really great. We are in our next phase and ultimately are in the place we have always wanted to be, a coastal home by the beach. Is this the end of the story? No, because this dreamer just does not stop. But I am in this magical place of gratitude. While we have had several moves and homes, each one is near and dear to my heart, and each one was never a house, it was always a home.

I am so grateful I had the chance to “come home”.

My baby on Boardman is just beautiful and even better than when I left her. She will go on to host generations of families, and incredible memories. I have to believe the love put into her will always be a part of her vibe.

My family of 5 was able to take our trip to Italy, which I have dreamed about since I was their college age. There are world travelers and there are those that enjoy travel. I, however, fall into the person that enjoys travel but also loves her routine at home, and life of ordinary & extraordinary moments. But this trip was truly a dream come true.

Our trip began in Venice.

We arrived to our hotel by water taxi. It was magical from the start. As we chalked off the first day as “travel day”, we shared meals, walked around, and also took a family nap in one room (a king-size bed with a twin, while we waited for the second room to be ready). We all fell asleep, and that power nap prepared everyone for the evening. I chose to stay in, as I knew I wanted to feel well rested for the 2 weeks ahead of us. Venice was magical. The gondolas, Saint Marks Square, and our hotel was historic and had the best rooftop views of Venice. It was awe-inspiring.

After a few days in Venice, we took a train to Florence.

By this time, we were all so happy to be there, so in love with Italy (with just experiencing Venice), and ready to explore Florence. Florence is the city where Kaili was to study abroad. It was truly beautiful in its own way. Our hotel was on the River and within perfect walking distance to the sites, restaurants, and shopping.

Travel days were just that. Take the train, and not have an agenda on that day. So we had lunch on the rooftop deck at this hotel that had incredible views of Florence. It really gave us another flavor of Italy.

The next day we had a walking tour of Florence, we saw David and learned about the history of the city, saw the amazing architecture, and learned more about Michael Angelo. it was interesting. We all agreed that we are the family that likes the tours but at our own speed. There was much humor among Guyer 5. Each person that joined our circle made their own impression. I have no doubt we did the same for them.

Our 3rd day in Florence resulted in an amazing day trip around Tuscany.

We visited a Vineyard and had our own private lunch & personal guide. it was amazing. The views were incredible. To actually have a nice luncheon on the vineyard with amazing views was incredible. Our driver “Veri” was so great. We enjoyed his hospitality in taking care of our crew. His humor and guidance on our day trip were invaluable. He is top of the list of the people along our way.

My daughter and I enjoyed our tour of the House of Gucci. Shopping at Gucci was a treat and we treated it as such. This trip included great shopping, but alongside many other great experiences, we had as a family. Our last night in Florence included a fabulous dinner. We loved the restaurant and our server. It is the best Bruschetta we have ever had.

The food and our entire experience were amazing. By this point, we had already experienced some amazing food, so much pasta, pizza, bread/oil, and Gelato most every day. Florence had its own magic. Between our experience in Florence and our day trip around Tuscany, it was a magical experience for all.

The next stop was Rome.

We would stay in the city for 4 nights. We had private tours for 2 days. We did our tours in the morning, leaving the afternoon to explore, shop, and enjoy meals and more pasta all over Rome. This was the most historical part of the trip. The architecture was amazing, and what the Romans did in terms of building and infrastructure back when they did not have suitable resources is astounding.

Rome included a trip to Saint Peter’s Basilica, the Vatican, the Coliseum, and other museums and churches. Roman times were fascinating and once again, we enjoyed seeing some of Michael Angelo’s work, and the incredible sites. The Spanish Steps, shopping, and fabulous Pasta dinners were enjoyed by all. We even did a meal or two at the Hard Rock Cafe Rome. We tried to eat as authentically as possible. But with 16 days of travel, the kids also wanted a burger or taco as well.

We found Rome so interesting and enjoyed its beauty and history.

It is a must-see at least once. Like the other two cities, Rome did not capture our hearts. It was far busier and the hospitality was okay, unlike it was in Venice and Florence whereby the hospitality was exceptional. We embraced the spirit of “when in Rome” and by this point, we were getting our language down. As a family we were bonded, we were traveling really well together, and yes, we also had our moments of frustration/complaints/disagreements—we are, after all, family!

After our time in Rome, we were ready for the next stop.

So once again, we boarded the train to Naples. On arrival in Naples, we had a driver waiting for us. He had a big van and took us from Naples to our last stop on our trip, the Amalfi Coast. It was about an hour's drive, but by the time we got to our hotel, he had us laughing and gave us an informal tour and drive along the coast. It was beautiful and he was great.

My son’s girlfriend and her Mom were to meet us in Sorrento. We would spend a few days together before they left to head back to the states. Young love in Italy…how romantic. While in Amalfi, we ended up staying in Sorrento and did a day trip to Positano and Capri. I initially thought I wanted to stay on one of those islands and my travel agent suggested Sorrento as a convenient way to experience Amalfi and easily accessible.

Having been there, I am so glad she encouraged that. Our hotel was perfectly situated in Sorrento. I loved the vibe of this charming city. It was now more about exploring, but also rest and relaxation along the coast.

The pizza in this region is beyond. On our second day, we had a pizza-making class which was so much fun. I must say, our pizza was delicious. Pizza will never taste as good as it is in the Napoli area.

On Day 3 we planned a special day trip to Positano.

It was also my daughter’s 23rd Birthday. So we had a luncheon planned at Chez Black, a well-known spot for visitors & celebrities. The food was so good, as was the celebration and cake at the end. Not a bad place to celebrate your 23rd birthday. Lots of shopping in Positano and we were able to take the Ferry back to Sorrento, after a nice day in this beautiful village.

We had a few days of pool time, relaxation, shopping, and wonderful meals.

Our hotel was great, and we enjoyed our lunch by the pool and got to know the staff and servers. Breakfast each morning was on a Terrace. The views were gorgeous, the omelet’s amazing and the waitstaff were a pleasant part of the routine. By this time, we were feeling the need to relax as we had already done 3 cities, and planning the Amalfi Coast as our last stop was perfect.

On day 4 we had a special day planned.

We celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary with a private chartered boat to explore the Amalfi Coast and a day trip to Capri. We had lunch on the island. This was a highlight of the trip and an unforgettable experience for all. We toasted with drinks on board. We swam in the blue sea, which was warm, and gorgeous and felt like a salt bath. We had so much fun as a family and felt extra special being our anniversary.

As we anchored, with swimming, drinks & snacks, our captain played music. The weather was beyond gorgeous with clear blue skies, blue sea, warm salty water, and views of mountains, rocks, and Capri as our backdrop, it was beyond! The soundtrack Mama Mia played in the background, and we jumped from the boat into the ocean feeling pure magic on this special day.

In the afternoon we were dropped off on Capri at a restaurant on the water where we had a lunch reservation.

This felt special. On the special menu was Sea Bass, which was part of our Wedding Reception Menu 24 years ago. So of course, Charlie and I had to order the Sea Bass. The kids all had Seafood & Pasta. Once again, another great meal.

The kids secretly ordered champagne and sparkling water to toast us, and after our meal, the staff came with a lit-up cake, singing “Celebrate good times come on”. It lit up the entire place. Of course, Charlie and I stood and danced, and the entire restaurant was singing and clapping. The energy and vibe were amazing.

We had a beautiful drive up to Ana Capri. The boys took the lift and we separated. Kaili and I enjoyed a little shopping and the charm of Ana Capri. We got back on the boat and had another hour on board, enjoying the music, the sites, and this special day—one which we will never forget.

We were to see Pompeii, but the kids begged for a “free day” rather than our last full day on a tour all day.

This was one of those situations I wanted to insist we “must see it”, but my yoga voice and spirit thought, what is most important is what will feel best for everyone. By this point in the trip, the kids wanted the R&R, and sometimes that is more important than seeing every little (or big) thing.

While in Sorrento, we had such incredible food. One dinner out in particular was in a magical setting with Lemon Trees and an Enchanting garden. That night was superb, and another experience we will never forget. On our last night in Sorrento, we enjoyed dinner by the water, with music, incredible views, and more pasta and fish. Dessert had to be a Gelato, and we each enjoyed this and our last stroll back to the hotel from town.

In the morning, we were up early. Our driver was back to pick us up, and we had 30 minutes for breakfast, and one more omelet from the “Omelette Boss”. The best part was saying goodbye to him as I finally got him to smile. I told him he was the “best omelet chef” and smiled which got his burrowed eyebrows to relax and that mean face to smile. Now that was magical! We hugged another waitress as she said she was sad we were leaving. She loved our family and took pride in knowing our espresso and cappuccino orders each morning.

This was by far, one of those once-in-a-lifetime trips that I have wanted to take for years.

But to share it with my family. and especially at the ages they are. We experienced it all. The love of this amazing country, its beautiful sites, history, and people. The food was beyond fresh. We had so many laughs along the way. Growing up Guyer means you have to have a sense of humor, and my kids each have that and more.

We have new family jokes. We laughed in so many situations and made so many great memories together.

We each had our meltdown or moment at some point during the trip. I share that to "keep it real". We are a close-knit family and I am not more proud of anything than my family. But traveling with 5 adults, personalities and differing opinions can bring on those moments. I am grateful the majority of the moments were magical, beautiful, enjoyable, and laughable. We all fell in love with Italy, and feel blessed by the opportunity to be there together, and experience it as a family.

Guyer, Party of 5 (and here we are at the Empty Nesting time). So grateful for this opportunity, and I humbly share that you can have it too (what or where ever your dream vacation is). Our hearts are captured, and we will be back (and this time I don’t think it will be Guyer, party of 5)! For now, my heart is full (as is my waistline), and I will have sweet dreams of this beautiful trip and also dream about where to go next!

At least begin your travel in your dreams…

As I write this post, I am on a train from Rome to Amalfi. As a family, we have FINALLY been able to go on our trip to Italy which is something we have wanted to do for years. I am on Social Media sharing lots of posts, and in doing so, I hope it inspires others to dream big, imagine travel, and book that trip (or believe in it and work towards it).

I feel like I have earned the right to write this and share these pics.

At other times in my life, I would not have shared so much, but I am sharing with the intention of inspiring or influencing others. No braggagadocious! if you know me, then you know it is genuinely from a place of dreaming, casting vision, and doing the things in your life that inspire you and ground you.

My life and my personal story are about creating what you desire in your life with belief, vision, and action. And doing so with a positive attitude (which does not mean you are always positive). It is the story of a girl who grew up with humble beginnings, came from a loving family, and wanted a family life similar to her own, but with even more opportunities for herself and the next generation. My vision was and is to grow beyond my comfort zone (and zip code) but also to never forget where I came from. That is my magic. The combo of appreciating what is really important in life: family, love, health, laughter, simple joys, experiences, and doing so with a kind heart and kind spirit.

I am not a world traveler.

I am actually a homebody. I love my home. I love all things home, and I love my simple life of yoga, writing, dog walks, beach walks, family/home, and the wonder of home and family. But I find myself in this place of transition. I still want the simplicities of life (even more so as I am in this stage of life), but also learning to transition from a full home and family living to be an empty nester. It is all so good, but it is not without reflection and sentimental feelings.

Living a HIPP Life is living life on your own terms.

You doing you, but also working on a better version of you. Progress over perfection. We are human. We are highly capable. We are heart-centered because at the end of the day, aside from good health is love. Love is all you need.

Italy has been high on my travel list for the longest time.

In fact, I wanted to backpack through Europe after graduating college. I regretted I did not do this, but no resentment, just a desire to see more and experience more. I also have a much better budget these days. So in adulthood, I am making up for it.

Charlie and I have traveled to many cities for both work and recreation. We were able to take trips in our 40’s without the kids. To date, Paris is my favorite city (and was an unforgettable experience for us as a couple). I had a vision of taking the kids to Italy (and Europe) while they were in HS/MS. That never happened as a result of new business launches (both Charlie and I), kids’ sports schedules, and sick parents.

With our oldest graduating college, we know that these “Family Trips” are numbered.

The Guyer 5 will only have a few more years of this as our core family before we are blessed with more family members someday. For this reason, and the fact that Kaili was to study in Florence, but Covid changed those plans, we made the decision that we would do Italy as a family after her graduation and before she moves out and starts her new career and life.

We originally planned 10 days, which would not include the Amalfi Coast. But truth be told Charlie & I really wanted the Amalfi Coast. So rather than plan a second trip for us, we decided to make this a 16-day trip and treated it as a “once in a lifetime trip”. Although, we hope we will be back and hope the kids come back again with their families someday.

Going on trips, travel, and vacation is different for everyone because what I think is important is that “you do you”!

The best trip is the one that you take because it is planned with you and your family in mind. On this particular trip, we decided private tours and drivers so that we could be on our own schedule, avoid lines, and were willing to invest in that way. But that is not necessary and we would have gladly chosen another option at a different time in our lives.

Charlie and I think back on our own experiences with our families growing up.

Charlie had the good fortune of lots of travel, both domestic and international, while my family did not. It’s not that they did not desire it, but finances restricted vacation travel. But my Mom & Dad did the best they could.

Charlie’s family motto while on vacation (from his Dad) is “Screw the Money”. So we adopt this approach in our travel for the most part, but again, we all have a budget & we are no different. My parents did not have the means to travel like Charlie’s family did. But my Dad absolutely embraced the “Screw the Money” spirit when he booked a trip to Disney World for us, which he put on his credit card as he would have Open Heart surgery that year. I did not know at the time, but my Dad was wiser and knew how short and precious life really is.

So what do you do when you are in your 30s and faced with major surgery, you book the trip! At least that is what my Dad did. We don’t all need that situation, but we do need to be reminded to book the trip (whatever that means for you now or in the future). Life is short and family time is precious.

I will always remember that trip. it was a big deal going on it, and was truly magical, as were our other excursions growing up, most of which were road trips in the Station Wagon growing up Mellor. While Disney was more than likely on a budget, as a kid I don’t remember any of that. I remember the magic and the excitement of it all.

As Guyer 5, we have had the good fortune of family vacations over the years.

But we certainly have not come close to traveling the world. Life will change and these trips will be fewer and fewer. However our vision (Charlie and I) is to plan a few more, and some of which will end up being a summer vacation local, but quality family time together.

I share my trip with you and on Social Media to inspire you to #takethetrip. Even if you are not ready to book or travel, let the trip begin in your imagination. Put it on your Vision Board. You will manifest it. Undoubtedly, life will happen, and the trip may not, but it eventually will. The point is to believe and visualize, and when it is time, you book that trip even thou the timing will not be perfect. Hint, it never is!

We are in love with Italy.

There is too much to say so I will dedicate a post next week specifically to this trip. We expected this trip would have happened sooner, but God knows better. And while it was not good timing a few years ago, it ends up being a perfect time now! Each city is filled with its own magic, which truly aligns with my word for this year, which is magical.

This experience so far is magical, and equally magical are the simple joys each day in our ordinary lives when we live with a grateful heart, curious mind, and kind/positive attitude. (which is not without other emotions, they all are real and matter). Speaking of emotions (both positive and negative), to be transparent, this vacation has been incredible and the experience is a lifetime (as are the family jokes and humor). It is not without any frustration, arguments, family moments, and irritability. No family vacation is, can I get an amen?.

We have had our moments, and have laughed about most, but have also shared in the joy, the wonder, the spirit, and the blessing of being together and traveling this beautiful country. I still quote my Dad from trips growing up, “if I have to pull this car over” when kids were acting up while on a road trip. Or…. “Is everybody happy”, is a funny chime in when kids are being grumpy. But my Dad felt cool as a cucumber (which was not always the case)!

As I shared, my purpose in life is to inspire others and to do so through the way I live (which is ordinary with some extraordinary moments).

It is also to live a vibrant life despite the vulnerabilities we experience or have (because we all have them). The most important thing to remember is for YOU to do YOU. Don’t go on a trip because everyone is, or do something because everyone else is doing it. You go where your heart desires, you travel your own journey and experiences with the people you love.

As far as family travel, while it is fun to travel with other families, I prefer most of our travel over the years to be our own family, because the experience is true and genuine to family time (the discovery, the desires, the discontents and yes, the occasional dysfunction). It all matters! But the most important word to close out this post with is to DREAM. Dream about that next big trip, or the smaller places you will travel and discover. Travel is more than the trip. Travel is how you experience life. It is the integration of simplicity and abundance and living with an open heart, curious mind, and positive spirit.

Where do you want to go? Where do you want to travel? What do you want to see?

Take that trip. In the meantime, what experiences can you enjoy in your travels? The beautiful sites in your area. Take in the beauty that surrounds you—be it a walk outside, quiet time in the garden, or looking out the window and enjoying the view. Be it city, country, coastal, or mountains, take the trip! If now is not the right time, start planning (imaging) it in your mind, and visualize what experiences you want to have and want to have as a family.

Happy Travels!

XO,

Pam

This weekend my little girl is graduating from college. She will really be leaving the Nest.   I have such mixed emotions. With that, I feel numb or don’t know how to feel.  So I am just going into this weekend with a grateful heart and an intention of being present and taking it all in.  

I swear she was just off to Kindergarten.  

The big yellow bus pulled up at the end of Boardman Lane, only to have our friends, the Fibbe’s on the bus. Kaili’s best buddy with big sisters that were going to be sure to take care of her on the ride. I had tears as that big yellow bus left our street. I am a sentimental girl. I have big emotions and love even more—so while my life was about to simplify a little bit more, it was entering a new phase for school-age kids. And those beautiful years that were oh so busy.  

When they are little, the days are long. And with 3 born in 3 years, it was overwhelming and busy.  The years truly fly by. One minute you are tying their shoes, brushing their hair, and emptying their backpack when you should have the night before. By the way, I still have trauma from those school notes and signatures required.    

As parents and Moms, all we want is to raise good humans.

We want them to be happy, productive, and good people. At least that was our vision and the work we did.   When you see it happen, it is magical. It really is.  My children are my greatest teachers. While I was far more structured when they were little (because kids thrive on routines), I have slowly been letting go. It is all part of the circle of life.  

I wish I could talk with my Mom because she did this so well, and did not break a sweat.

Her kindness, compassion, and understanding as I matured were remarkable. She would listen, share advice, and give me a pep talk when I needed it.   My mother did not meddle. She did not put expectations on me that made me feel bad (like holidays with her or injecting her opinion).  She was such a class act. I don’t think I will be so graceful and cool.   

This Nest Life is really getting real.  

This HIPP Mom is just so darn proud. I’m proud of my girl, and what she has done, but more so how she has done it.  She is one of the most remarkable humans I know.   We are so proud of her and her brothers. I just find such strength and confidence in my family (it is my favorite place on earth).  

To all the graduates, including my own:  

Dream Big, always have a vision for your life, and believe that anything is possible.  

Know your Worth.  You are Enough and you Matter. You are a child of God.  

Choose Faith over Fear, believe that you are guided, believe in God, and believe in better.  

Take care of yourself in Body, Mind, and Spirit (Living HIPP). it is so important and lifelong.  

Work Hard, but learn to rest too.  Hard work is necessary, but burnout is real. So be aware. 

Follow your heart and not the crowd. Listen to your inner voice. It has the answers and knows the way. 

Move Your Body every Day.  Exercise will keep you happy. A walk outside every day is refreshing.  

Stay Positive! You are going to be down (and honor that), but know how to bounce back, and move forward. 

Sleep! Make it a priority, try to create good sleep habits, and do the same for your kids someday.  Rituals work. 

Do work you love, and if you don’t love it, don’t do it (or make a change and follow your heart).  

Be kind to others, but be kind to yourself first.  Self Care is necessary for adulting. Parent yourself first.  

Lead with Love.  Share your heart. Show you care and know that love is one of the best gifts to share.  

Practice gratitude every day.  It makes everything better and puts everything into perspective.  

Laugh. Be Silly. Don’t perform and impress. Just be yourself and be unapologetic and authentic!  

And just like that, from Kindergarten to college graduation.  The world is your oyster. Now go explore, have fun, be safe, and have the adventure of your life!!!!

Behind the scenes, I have been working really hard. My “hard work” these days looks very different from my hard work of building businesses and raising great humans.  In this new chapter of living my Nest Life, I am committed to prioritizing myself again, and making self-care and Living HIPP the main thing (because for me it is critical to feeling great and feeling myself, an even better version of myself).  

I had a great coaching session, which influenced me to start my Pam 2.0 Instagram account.

Essentially it is me living my life, capturing what I do and why I do it. This works for now as I am feeling called to do more in the world. A spiritual teacher told me that my purpose was to be the steward of my life and really take charge and prioritize my health and happiness and to do so proactively.  This year is the first time I really dove in and got to the root cause as opposed to juggling the symptoms.

For me, ADD has been a big area in my life that went unaddressed.

This diagnosis was just misunderstood and not given the attention it needed until now.    The good news is I am finally being treated for my ADD (which impacts other areas I will get to at another time).   I am in a state of Living HIPP, and I feel like myself again. I have not felt like myself or fully aligned in a long time.  

I have learned and relearned that putting Mind/Body/Spirit first and as the foundation of everything, allows me to truly feel good in those areas.

It has taken time to get there (but we never arrive), it is a lifestyle.   I am going to share more on Living HIPP and what it has been for me, but not just yet. For now, I can tell you that I am putting my Body/Mind/Spirit as the main priority in my life. It should always be this way, but this girl loses her focus, gets distracted, and gets stuck. I think many can relate as this was true for many of us during Covid.  

A big part of what makes Pam feel good is being active and fit.

Not in an expert way, just a daily practice that becomes automatic.  I went back to the Yoga studio in January, after lame attempts to start again during Covid. This was a two-year window of feeling lost, stuck, and off track.   I showed up even thou I did not want to be there.  I felt gross as I had gained weight during the lockdown. In fact, lockdown became my meltdown. I know many can relate to this.  

I knew in my heart that I just needed to keep showing up, and just being there made me feel good, even though I did not feel good in my own skin.

Yoga is my thing. it is the one tool that transforms my life in mind/body/spirit. It was 12 years ago that I created Living HIPP based on my transformation with Yoga, Self Care, and making Mind/Body/Spirit a priority. When you have ADD, it is extra hard to stay on track.   So I just kept going and going and going. I am in month 5 of consistent Yoga and Self Care. I am being treated for my ADD (more to come on that and some other things) and I am FINALLY getting myself back. It feels so GOOD!  

Alignment.  

I am in alignment personally and that feels good.  I need to do more exploring in this, and fine-tuning as I have not fully aligned with my purpose (and I know that).  But for now, I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, all the things that make me feel good (I will be sharing more as I share Living HIPP).  

Truth be told, I have not felt myself in years (that is hard to write as I have tried hard over the past years, but never broke through, and I think I know why).   I am in this space of discovery right now, not declaring anything, but working on myself and being committed to that, and inspiring others to do the same.   There has been a disruption. I don’t know if it was Covid. I don’t know if it was letting go of my resistance. But what I do know is that I am being called to align fully authentically and to speak from that space. Oh man, this scares me. Why do I always end up feeling Fear and wanting to hide?

For now, I am quiet but not silent.

I am doing the work behind the scenes.  I am working on my mindset even more (and I do this work but I am really diving in more).  I am unapologetic about what I “should” do, and other things that hold me back. I am owning my power and taking it back.   Sometimes this happens loudly and sometimes this happens quietly. But for all of us, it should be work behind the scenes and when we are ready, we can then share if we choose to.  

One thing I have learned over the years is resiliency.

I am really good at stopping, assessing, and creating a plan to get back on track to create a new path.  I have done this personally, and I have coached others to do this.  What blows my mind is that what Living HIPP started out as 12 years ago, is not what it is today to me.  

I can’t wait to share more, but for now, just come with me on this journey. This Yoga Girl lives her life based on mind/body/spirit and growing in those areas (the fine balance of the whole human experience).  I also am going to be writing another chapter to the book, and in that new release, I will be ready to share more. In the meantime, lets build our HIPP life, and prioritize our mind/body/spirit so that our spirit can shine bright.  

Namaste!  XO 

Every few years I refresh my website, I get a little braver to do more things with Living HIPP and somehow, I step back from it. While I have been such a vision caster and goal getter, I am also stuck at times, and let self doubt, distraction or my own vulnerabilities get in my way. Maybe you can relate….

I have an amazing assistant in place, and our goal this year is to create digital course content, launch my Podcast and bring more brand awareness to my little grass roots effort of Living HIPP. When I created this brand more than a decade ago, it was a passion project, and to this day, it is a passion project that gets only part of my attention. Over this decade, I have a better understanding of why Living HIPP (Happy Inspired Passionate Peaceful) is important to me.

You see, we all have our things.

For me, my things are anxiety, ADD, depression, and I have an addictive personality. This is hard to write, but I hit the jackpot. I have felt such shame over this, and I have wanted to avoid these feelings, topics, and realities because I just want to “feel normal” and “be normal”. My truth is that I am not, or maybe, just maybe I am. I believe we all have our thing(s), and these things make us special, and rather than hide in shame, we need to shine a light on this being part of our health and wellness.

I was in a really great place when I created Living HIPP.

It was that transformation that I spoke about. Also, the lifestyle brand encompasses my passion on how we as women show up in the world. I am so passionate about women cheering each other on and supporting each other, and I want to change the landscape more with women and girls and how we treat each other.
I have experienced both sides of this. I have worked with and am friends with incredible women that are positive, empowering, true partners, and cheer me on, as I do the same for them. I have also had the awful experience of women tearing me down. While it is brutal to experience, I know these things happen to remind me why I step up as a voice for good.

We are so powerful when we bring our best selves forward.

We will change the world when we change how we care for ourselves and those around us. So, as I work on the refresh, and launch the Podcast (which every year I have put off), I am gaining more clarity around how I want to influence others, and what spirit and energy I want to bring to the world.

So as I read this Manifesto I wrote a few years back, I think about why and what Living HIPP is:

—A lifestyle brand of Self Care
—A lifestyle brand of Kindness (being better to self and better to others)
—A lifestyle brand of Purpose and Intention (which is really good for someone like me with ADD)
—A lifestyle brand of Personal Development, being growth-oriented and balancing that with life.
—A lifestyle brand of Vulnerability, we all have our thing. “HIPP” is a set of tracks to run on when you carry your thing.
—A spirit of positivity, love, compassion, and empathy
—A spirit of being a force for good, with your life, with your words, and with how you treat others and yourself.
—A spirit of progress over perfection, life is hard and beautiful and we experience all of it.
—A spirit of gratitude, we react, we have fear, we have bad days but we are able to reset and renew
—A spirit of authenticity, we release comparing ourselves and embrace our authentic selves.

Living HIPP is about core behaviors (self-care, purposeful work/play) along with the power of women working together.

Be You. Be Love. Be Free. Be Kind. Be Vulnerable. Be Real. Be a champion of others!