My mother used to instill in us an attitude of gratitude.  I truly did not fully understand that until I really began to practice it and write it each day.  

I have learned that Gratitude is a practice that can help us go from negative thinking, fear, and scarcity and replace those suffocating feelings with positive thinking, faith, abundance, and hope.  Moreover, Gratitude is for everyone at any time.  An attitude of gratitude costs nothing, requires nothing, and you can practice at any age, anywhere in the world, at any time, with or without people.   You can think it, write it, type it, say it, and share it.  I highly recommend doing all of the above, but the written form done daily is powerful, let’s explore this more.  

How to Practice an Attitude of Gratitude

I have been practicing gratitude for a long time.  I used to record in a journal, and there were days or weeks I would be consistent and other times I would abandon it like all the other practices (because that is what we do as humans).   I had the good fortune more than 6 years ago to begin practicing daily gratitude with an amazing group of women online.  These women were all strangers, and from all over the country—in this daily group practice, we became friends, cheerleaders, and lifted each other up in the daily ups/downs of life.   We had a common bond, and gratitude was our way to check-in, and also stay grounded in the most loving mindset, even if life was hard, in fact, that was even more reason to find gratitude in each day—it truly can turn things around.  

Begin Today

List 5 things you are grateful for.  You can write it out, you can type on your computer.  Just make sure you do this daily, 5 things. 

Include the Big Things

Be sure to randomly choose the big things, your health, your family, your home, the food you eat (I think now we are reminded how blessed we truly are).  

Include the Simple Joys  

Coffee, fresh air, chocolate, clean sheets, Netflix, sun on your face, music, (what ever simple joy means to you in your life) etc….

Practice by Yourself or Practice in Community

If you decide to do it in community, just find a few friends that want to come together to practice an attitude of gratitude.  The easiest way is to set up a private FB group (gratitude group), and each person posts 5 things they are grateful for that day.  Simple.  No obligation, but encouragement to post every day, 5 things. This accountability and support is amazing, and it helps encourage a great mindset every single day.  Also, it is inspiring to hear what others are grateful for, you get ideas, you get perspective, and you feel connected and “in it together”.  Start your GG group today!  

Share Your Attitude of Gratitude

Speak gratitude into those around you.   “How Blessed are We”.

“I am so glad that….”,  "I am grateful for”,  ask “what are you most grateful for”.  I think this is a great conversation starter at dinner, not just for Thanksgiving, but family dinner, and yes, if you have teens and they are like mine, they may make fun of you, we usually need to break into a few rounds of humor.    In our family, I am constantly trying to redirect, I acknowledge the disappointment, and I do what my mom did, “it could always be worst”, at least you get to “XYZ”.  There is always silver lining or light. Look for it, and move yourself and those around you in that direction.  

Let this be the birth of your gratitude practice or a consistent practice for you.

To begin, write 5 things you are grateful for…..  Then do it again the next day, then the next day and keep the attitude of gratitude going….

I am grateful for you!  XO 

A mindset reset is the best thing we can do for ourselves sometimes. There has been no better time than now, to learn ways to calm the mind. We cannot control the world around us, but what we can control is how we respond.

Part of our daily mindset reset practice needs to be activities that help calm the mind for ourselves and the people around us.  This is an opportunity to reset our mindset, we can choose love over fear, and we can choose to live from a place of gratitude as opposed to scarcity thinking.   In order to do both, we must first implement ways to calm the mind.  

Daily Steps to Calm the Mind

Meditate:  Commit to sitting for at least 5 minutes before you start your day 

Breathe: Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth 

Movement: Yoga poses, walk in nature, exercise at home

Elimination: Reduce exposure to news (limit what you watch) & negativity 

Mindfulness: Be present, practice mindfulness, choose joy (and activities that are joy-filled)

Journal:  Feelings will come up, get them out on paper, remember, you are not your feelings

Mindset Reset:  How to Create a Platform of Positivity and Peace 

Practice Gratitude  

This is a game-changer.  Every day, write down 5 things you are grateful for.  Commit to this daily, and start your day with gratitude. It will shift your perspective.

Affirmations

The power of “I Am” is either working for us or against us.  Come up with 8 to 10 affirmations that build you up, make you feel good, and are how you want to be in the world.  Say them every single day, what you tell yourself and what you believe really matters.   Example:  I am strong, I am healthy, I am present, I am mindful, I am positive, I am blessed, I am focused, I am caring, I am empowered.

Visualization

Take time to visualize how you want to be, how you want to show up in the world (what does that look like).   Visualize in your mind’s eye what that looks like. What are you doing? Who are you with? What are you wearing? How do you feel? What do you believe?  

In order to create and manifest these things, you have to believe in them for yourself and others.   The law of attraction is working in our favor when we visualize what is possible and open up space for positive thinking and abundance.  

Positive Thinking  

Negative thinking is the enemy of peace, love, productivity, and positivity.  We all have negative thoughts. Don’t beat yourself up, just take action to try and replace the negative with the positive. That’s a key part of a mindset reset. 

When it comes to business and/or life, people are in one of these three modes: complaining, blaming, or building. Choose to be the builder.  Build yourself up with good thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes. Attitude is just as important as activity and effort. Choose to have a good attitude. It will make your entire experience and day better.  

Build up those around you. Not only do we need positive self-talk, we also need to be encouraging with others.  See the best in yourself and see the best in others.  Evaluate where you stand in this area. Be honest and have the courage to open your heart to healing this part of you.  

Do you judge others, criticize, gossip, or speak negatively about others? It is human nature at times, but how can you shift that?  How can you assume the best intentions in others?  How can you understand and accept that everyone is trying their best?

We need to keep our eyes on our own paper. It is hard to do but more important than ever.  Forgive those that have not been kind, and forgive yourself if you are one of those people.  It is time to Rise Up, it is time for you to work on the better version of you.  Your thinking is as important as the food you eat. What are you feeding your mind?  Let's nourish it with good thoughts, good intentions and a loving and caring spirit.

Belief  

Belief is a choice. What you choose to believe will attract what you think to be true.  Belief requires you to have faith, and it requires conviction. You have to let your belief carry you before the facts.   Be brave enough to believe in the higher good. Believe in better. Believe in yourself. Believe in others. Believe in the miracle of your life. Believe that this time of uncertainty is an opportunity for a mindset reset.  Tap in to your faith. Let it guide you in knowing you are not alone and there is a power greater than you that is co-creating your life.  

Servant Leadership

We are all leaders, or at the very least, we have an opportunity to lead.  Servant leadership is truly about how you can serve and support others.  When we take the focus off of ourselves and make situations about other people, we truly serve with our hearts and put people first.  We all have influence over the people around us, be it our family, friends, colleagues, or communities. How are you influencing others in a positive way?   Lead with your heart. What that means is to exercise compassion, empathy, and kindness, replacing all the negatives as stated above with love.  

Teamwork  

Teamwork and your tribe is your most powerful tool in lifting your spirit.  Teams are all around us, starting with our family, our friends, our community, our work or businesses, and the groups we are part of.   Teamwork is so powerful, and especially now. There has never been a more important time to be together (however remotely) and rally each other.  

We are all in this together. Let's all be reminded that united we stand, divided we fall.  Lock arms virtually with those around you. Choose to be positive. Choose to lift each other up. Choose to be brave to live differently (live HIPP) and be there for each other during these uncertain times. Kindness and teamwork are more important than ever, and we can get through anything if we do it with heart and we do it as a team.  Be Unstoppable. Be unstoppable together.  

Love

Love is a powerful force in your mindset reset. Open your heart (let it crack open) to put love into everything that you do.  Making a meal? Make it with love.  Doing an activity with kids? Do it with love. Working on business or other work? Do it with love. Focus on the things that you love and remind yourself why you love them.  

Be extremely mindful of this. It requires you to truly shift from reactive (which we all do especially being home and dealing with life/family/work).  Be loving (forgiving) of yourself when you experience the opposite feelings (anger, frustration, sadness) it is all okay. We are human, and we feel all the feels.  Step forward with love.  

Likewise, keep this mantra and live with this mantra “Go where the Love is”.  That simply means to surround yourself with the people that build you up, cheer you on, and are a positive force in your life.  Step away from those that are not. Remember, not everyone is going to get you or like you. Don’t try to fix it. Just let it go, and surround yourself with those that get you.  You be you. If someone else has a problem, that is their problem. Stay in your lane and move forward.  

Another mindset reset mantra is “Let it Go”. There are so many thoughts that don’t serve us, and it is high time to let it go.  Ask yourself this question “is this serving me?” If the answer is no, then let it go.  Add more love language in your heart and home, I love you cannot be said enough, especially now. People need to hear that from you.   

Movement

Get those endorphins pumping.  Some ways to achieve this other than a walk outdoors. Outdoor play with the kids is a dance party.  Yes, get the music pumping, and get your body moving. It just feels good. Dance Party in the kitchen! Play the tunes, sing, dance, and literally dance like no one is watching (but the truth is your kids are, and if they are old enough, they are rolling their eyes). Don’t worry, you are showing them how to lift their spirit during difficult times.  

Goals 

Goals are how you put your mindset reset into action. Hopefully, you have personal goals and business/work goals. If not, it is a good time to vision cast and write goals.  Chances are your goals are taking a hit right now, because of limitations in the world today.  Don’t give up. Don’t stop believing, and don’t stop taking action.  

Get clear once again on your goals.  What action can you take every day to move in the direction of accomplishing your goal?  If you fell off track, that is okay, just redirect back to your goals.  Revisit your “why”. What was the reason you wanted or desired this goal? Write it down. Get really clear with it and decide to commit every day to reaching your goal.  Progress over perfection is a healthy mindset. Don’t ever, ever give up!

Make Today the Start of Your Mindset Reset

You’ve got this!  Start your journey toward a mindset reset today. Mindset is always important but especially in times of distress or challenge. It is often not the situation that is most important, it is truly how we react.  The world needs your light more than ever before.  Let that shine from within. Take this time as an opportunity to work on you.  Cheering you on!!!!  XO

I am the expert on being a Mom Boss and working at Home.

This was not the case more than 20 years ago when I worked in Corporate doing Leadership Development. 18 years ago this month, I started a business, working at home with 3 babies under the age of 3. The business I created was successful, and almost 2 decades later, I have built-in two companies and have coached hundreds of Moms how to do the same.  

A Bumpy Start to Working at Home

The only reason I experienced success is that I was 100% coachable, I followed the leader and took every action step. I was fiercely committed to my business and made it a priority in my life.  The biggest player in my success was consistent activity. That was what brought my dreams into reality - “doing the do”.  

It was not always pretty. I had to learn to let things go. I worked my business in those early years during nap time. I fed the kids lunch, read them a story, and then it was “nappie time”. Once I got them in their bed and cribs, I came straight down the stairs and into my office. The peanut butter & jelly scraps were left on the counter, and the mess was dealt with later. Productivity and time needed to be prioritized.  

Mom Boss Tips for Working at Home

My first year in business I did not have much help, I worked part-time with kids at home, and I managed it. Many of you are in that situation now, and these strategies can help you create even better work at home practices moving forward. You have to be willing to let some things go. The housework, laundry, and piles of mail will be there. Just focus on the kids and your business and learn to lean into imperfection. It is a great part of your success story. The untold truth about working at home is that it is messy, hard, and frustrating. Feelings of being overwhelmed for the work at home mom are real.  

By using the following strategies, you will lessen the burden, be more productive, and feel more present as a mom.  I am a big believer in delegating. If there is anything on your plate you can delegate, do it. Know this time is only temporary. It is a season, but a season in which you still want and need to be productive. So let’s do this.

Time Block

Look at your calendar and block out time that you will work your business. Commit to work during this time (non-negotiable) and make sure your work is IPA (income-producing activity).  

Create a Family Schedule

Kids at home mean so many distractions while you are trying to work.  Create a schedule to build some normalcy into your day. Include time to be outside, have the kids run (get tired) and fresh air for all.  Carve out time where you are present as a Mom. Put your phone away. Do an activity with the kids. Be present. You will feel so much better about yourself and give yourself more permission to focus on work during your work hours.  

Delegate

Business and housework can be delegated if your kids are old enough.  Assign tasks to them so that they are busy and you get the support you need. It needs to be a team effort. Ask your spouse/partner for help. My husband and I would tag team so many times in those earlier years when the kids were younger.  

Create a Space for Working at Home

Make sure you have a private place to focus on your work.  Some of you have a home office which is great but not everyone has that luxury.  Use a bedroom or room/closet that you can have a desk & chair set up, with your goals posted in front of you.  

Find Your Why

Clarify your “Why”.  Your “why” is why you started your business in the first place. That might have changed over time. What is it that you are trying to achieve? Be clear on that and let it be your daily inspiration to do the work.  

Be Flexible with Screen and Meal Time

If you have to put a movie or show on so that you can jam for an hour of work, then feel free to do so.  I can assure you your kids will grow up fine. I did this when mine were little, and they turned out great if I do say so myself. Likewise, go easy on yourself with family meals. Keep things simple. Feed them the best you can, but be willing to let it go.  Take Out is a great option some nights, and right now these small businesses need our business.  

Bribery Works Wonders

Parenting experts tell you not to do this, but this Mom Boss expert disagrees. Have treats for the kids, and when they give you the time and space to work, give it to them. Things like a movie to watch, a sweet treat, a game you will play with them, and the like work.

Moon Lighting

This to me meant waking up early to work on my business because I am a morning person. You can get one to two hours of work done either by getting up early or staying up late, depending upon if you are a morning or night person.  This was a game-changer for me when my kids were young, I even worked out before they woke up. 

A Must-Do List is a Must for Working at Home

The must-do list will help you be more productive. Put a star next to the most important items, and make yourself do the hard ones first.  Use the phrase “Just Do It”!  

Embrace Technology

There has never been a better time to be a mom working at home. If you normally meet with people, you can use various platforms to stay informed and stay connected. You can literally meet with anyone in the world through video conferencing or face time.  

Personal Development

Begin each day with some positive reading, affirmations, meditation, or prayer. Do things that will ground you for the day.  Part of the waking up early can include this so you are better prepared and in a better headspace to take on the day.   

Accountability When Working at Home

Last but not least, find an accountability partner for working at home.  Reach out to another mom that works from home.  Share ideas, support each other, and set some accountability partnerships to pace with each other.  Make sure this relationship is positive, two-way, and that you are building each other up, cheering each other on.   You are not alone, we are all in this together.  

Stay healthy and stay at home. It’s the most important thing we can do for ourselves and each other right now. Spending more time at home will require us to be patient, to do things differently, and to work on ourselves like never before.  While it is a scary time of the unknown, I also view this as an opportunity to make the best of what is.  It is what it is.

Stay Healthy in Body and in Spirit

The world, the news, and the people are advising to do the following:

—Wash hands

—Stay home (especially if sick)

—Do not travel 

And some are saying this:

—Have two weeks supply of non-perishable food 

—Which we break down to, load up on toilet paper  

There is nothing wrong with being prepared, and certainly, it is a time to practice safety for yourself but also with social responsibility in mind. Be self-aware and mindful like never before. 

I would like to address some topics and tips to keep you sane, and also, to fortify you during this time. We can waste the days scrolling, complaining, being in fear, and blaming.  It is a choice, and I am going to choose to do more, be more, and create more during this time of hibernation at home.  Do I have some anxiety? Absolutely, but also, when I seek grounding, I do the following things to nurture myself and my soul.  

Living HIPP to Stay Healthy in Spirit

Maybe, it’s the perfect time to lean into your own HIPP Life. What do you desire more of? What do you desire less of? It’s time to put pen to paper - to dream, plan, brainstorm and get clearer on ourselves and shining our light, even though there is darkness around us.  In order to do this, you need to put world events aside, for now. Don’t worry, it will all be there when you get back to the news.  

Breaking Down HIPP (Happy, Inspired, Passionate, Peaceful)

You can implement these ideas and tips while you have more time. Rather than live in a place of scarcity and fear, let’s shift into a place of being mindful and working on ourselves so that we can be prepared for anything coming our way.  

Happy

When you’re happy, you’re better able to stay healthy in mind and body. Write down what brings you joy. Answer the question “what makes me happy” and implement the things you can readily do at home.

Listen to music, sing, dance, look at pictures (memories) that make you happy, watch a comedy, and listen to podcasts that educate you and lift the spirit.  Call a friend, send a note, help a neighbor (or elderly person), walk outside, exercise at home (get those endorphins going).  Practice gratitude each day. It is by far the best practice to get your mind in the right place.  Affirmations are also highly effective in positive thinking. The power of “I am” is something that can work for us or against us. Use positive affirmations to build your muscles in your brain and how you are wired.  

Inspired

It is a challenging time to feel inspired, and that is the very reason we need to tune in to this. While we might not feel it, we can create it, even in small dosages.  

Read and practice personal development every day. A feel-good book, something that lifts the spirit, something positive, a biography on someone you admire - these lift the spirit.  Use this time to think about what inspires you. Write down a list of things, people, and places that inspire you, and think about how you can add these to your life journey. Even though it may be something you cannot do today, know that you can do it in the weeks, months, and years ahead.  

In order to be inspired, we must also inspire others.  Are you pouring your belief into others? Are you inspiring others? How can you continue to be you remotely and use the power of technology to connect with those you inspire and those that inspire you?  Stay close.

Surround yourself with positive people. This, by far, is one of the most important things you can do.  Avoid the negativity, especially the conversations that are not productive. Fear is okay, but complaining and blaming are not. Avoid those people and conversations.  Wash those people out of your life.  

Passionate

Admittedly this has been a harder one for me to grab hold of at this time, so I need to dig even deeper to think about how we practice this during these uncertain times.  I believe this comes from a place of gratitude, and that we need to look at all we have (our health, our family, our homes, businesses, careers, work, etc…).   We are not here to live on the hamster wheel of life (something we get on often and go day to day, mindlessly living in the busyness of life.  We are in a pause, a time when we need to slow down, let's jump off that hamster wheel and think about life, think about our passions that exist in all of us.   It is unique to you.

What are you passionate about?  What fires you up either positively or negatively that you want to change in the world?  What are you REALLY passionate about?  My next question after you answer the first one is this:  So when we get out of this prison of a pandemic, what are you going to do about it?  

Remove the boundaries. Remove the fear. Remove the doubts. Remove the hurdles, and JUST DO IT. Explore your passions, use your voice, and know that NO ONE has the gift that you hold inside of you. Your ideas are there for a reason.  Speak your truth and you do you!!!!!

Peaceful

I recently read that Peace is success, and I can attest that. When I am at Peace, I am feeling my best. It removes all the burdens of life, all the pressure, all the negativity, all the anxiety, fear, disruption, sadness, and dis-ease.  While it is the most challenging time to practice peace, I believe it is needed now more than ever.  This is your spiritual cue to embrace this and practice it daily. Peace is key to staying healthy.   

Some ways to integrate Peace in your life include:

Meditation: Even if you sit for 5 minutes each day, breathing in and out through your nose, that can help.

Pray:  Prayer truly does heal.  Pray to God or the Universe, and whatever your beliefs, pray for peace and restoration.  

Be Present: While it is difficult to do, be mindful. Be present and appreciate each moment.  Be proactive rather than reactive, This really requires you to get your “present” game on. Train your brain to think positively and not negatively. This is so important during these challenging times.  Be the calm in the storm, before you react, before you think those horrible thoughts (I know we all do), just bring yourself to the present moment and say to yourself “I am well, I am here, I am peace”.  

Commit to Sit: Take time each day to “commit to sit”.  This means to sit in meditation, but also, I advise that you sit 30 minutes each morning (or whenever you possibly can).  Mediate for 5+ minutes, read positive & inspirational books, journal about the topics discussed above.  As far as managing the fear and uncertainty, write that down too, acknowledge it, and then somehow, let it go.

Stay Healthy in Both Body and Spirit

We are all in this together. You are never alone.  Make the choice to implement Living HIPP and the morning practice each day.  This is what I refer to as Magical Mornings. It will set you up and fortify you at a time when you need it most.  My Mom would always say “It could always be worst”.  In any challenging situation, she led my family to see the positive, to realize it could be worst, and to set a tone of strength, positivity, and resilience.  

Join me in resilience, even if you are afraid or have anxiety, truth be told, I do too.  I choose to also seek the spiritual gifts in this and as time such as this.  

You’ve got this and I am holding your hand, even thou virtually and germ free!  XO

Mind, body, and spirit - we have to protect and nourish these parts of ourselves and of each other, especially now. I can’t help but lean into spirituality during this time of uncertainty - the Corona Virus Pandemic is uncharted water. It is something we have never experienced and its impact far exceeds anything I have seen in my lifetime.   For the record, I do have feelings of anxiety (after all, I have anxiety) so this is not just a soft message of deeper meaning and fluff—this is just some thoughts for now to help us all put this into perspective which is a really difficult thing to do.  

Let's be clear, we don’t know what this will bring, and this is a real-time post - an opportunity to get our mind, body, and spirit prepared. There is so much out of our control, so how about we embrace what we can? Let’s inject some spiritual practices, and in through this devastation, let’s look at the silver lining and opportunity.

Embracing Mind, Body, and Spirit

While a completely different circumstance, this historic time in our lives is something that is reminiscent to me of 9/11.  All the “small things” are really just that and they just need to go. This is a time to be reminded to keep the main things the main thing.   My husband and I (like we did during 9/11) are gathering each night to watch the National News. We want information, we seek direction, and most importantly, we want to know of any changes or new findings.

While it is scary and anxiety levels are high, there is something else happening. We are in this together. We are trying not to lose our minds in the fear of the unknown. We find ourselves exploring some scary possibilities, and when we get anxious, I declare we are going to take this one day at a time.  

Our first concern is the health of our family, and likewise, the economy has our attention big time as we are both self-employed/ Truth be told, I could not be more grateful for my business with Beautycounter. Working from home and having a digital business today is more important than ever.  Charlie was quick to remind me that this business is a big player in our survival plan during the uncertain times—like it has been in the past for us.   Let’s dig deeper, though, because it’s not about the money.

Mind, Body, and Spirit Thrive When We Slow Down

As I seek spiritual meaning to all of this, I can’t help but think this is a sign that we all need to slow down. That it is time for us to connect, to focus on the important things in life, That it is a time to be more kind and more loving toward ourselves and each other. It is time to nourish our mind, body, and spirit.

I think back fondly of 9/11. That most horrific unimaginable tragedy brought us together as a nation. There was no political party. There was no race, no religion, no hate (other than the evil that was responsible for that awful day in American history).  There was love. There was community. There was selflessness. There was teamwork. There was a resilient spirit to stand together, pick each other up, and love one another like never before.

Embracing Each Other - From a Distance

I believe we are being called to do the same now.  I believe this is a time of opportunity in the midst of this crisis.  There is so much hate in the world - so much hate in our country. It is divided and we can’t function in this dysfunctional environment.  It is time that we come together. It is time that we realize that we are in this together. It is time to exercise respect, compassion, unity, and goodness during these challenging times.  

We need to take care of our elderly. We need to support those that are more vulnerable. We need to “love thy neighbor” and remove the veil of politics, discrimination, hate, and the weapon of words in this digital world.  We need to exercise love more than anything else to survive and to thrive, not only during this virus but during the spiritual pandemic happening in our world today, especially in our country.  

Speak Life Into Your Fellow Man

How about we speak life into each other?

How about we accept the emotions of everyone during this time of crisis, and not make fun of the reaction of each other?  This is deeply frightening for some, while others think it is overblown. The fundamental truth is, we just don’t know.  The only thing we know for sure is that we all need each other in mind, body, and spirit, now more than ever.

Give Each Other Grace

How about we realize that perhaps this is a wake-up call? It is a time such when God is saying, “Be good to one another”.  How about we demonstrate more grace?

How about we realize what really is important in life? Did we get too carried away and forget about the big things, which are really the small things?  We are all human. We are all one.  

How about we slow down in this crazy, busy, hustle driven world?  How about we just be?

Nurture Your Mind, Body, and Spirit for Yourself and for the World

My brain can get me into that anxiety mode, and yes, I do have some fear and do feel unsettled. However, when I shut down the noise on the outside and go inside myself, my intuition is so clear and so clearly telling me that this is a spiritual time. That it is a message from God, the Universe and this is our calling.  It is our calling (and wake up call) to look for the good, to practice the good, and to shine our bright light (within ourselves) like never before.  It is a time for embracing and nurturing our mind, body, and spirit.

It is time to simplify.  It is time to put the weapon down (thoughts, words, beliefs that do not serve you or others).  

It is time to stand together, to unite, to help one another, to take incredibly good care of ourselves.  It is time for love.  Love is having its time.  

Wash your hands from the germs, and wash your brain and heart so that you too can shine your light, let love heal, and embrace your mind, body, and spirit now and for all the days to come.

Be well, Be kind, Be spiritual, Be Love.  XO

This month I celebrate 18 years of becoming a Mom Boss!

I can’t believe it has been 18 years since I first opened my eyes to something that was not for me on the outside, but in my search to find a way to make an income and have flexibility. I ended up here, in Direct Sales as a Mom Boss!

My Mom Boss Beginning

I will never forget signing on to start a business, I was scared. I was out of my comfort zone. I was skeptical. I was not in love with the industry. I loathed the idea of being salesy and doing business in a living room. It was a lot of emotions for this mom of three.  

Fortunately, those real feelings were met with curiosity, hope, and desperation to find a way to build an income on my own terms around my family.  I wanted it all. I wanted to be home with my kids, make a kick-ass income, and have something for me to feel passionate about.  I became a Mom Boss before I even knew what a Mom Boss was. I had so much resistance - so much fear, and in spite of that, I had God working in my life, bringing me down a path I never would have been brave enough to go.  

Choosing an Unknown Path

I am beyond grateful I took a chance, that I did the unpopular thing, that I did what most people would not do, and I swallowed my pride, my fear and my ego, and opened my mind and life up to so much more.  I am so grateful I did not listen to the naysayers who happened to be my good friends, my mother, my husband, my sisters, and my closest tribe. They meant well. They were concerned about me because they, too, had a negative impression of the industry and did not see this for me. Fortunately, they supported me when I decided to begin.  

I had just earned my Master’s Degree a few years before and had built a great corporate career in Leadership Development, and now this (insert: get over yourself Pam)?  At the time I was looking to start my business, my husband and I had met with a Financial Advisor. She said, "you should not do this, I don’t see this work for many people".  

Doubt, Fear, and Negative impressions surrounded me (and I had my own), but I could not help but think, “what if”. What if this does work? And odds and thoughts were stacked against me.  The fact that I was pregnant might have helped. I think I was nesting and had this strong desire to earn a part-time income from home or on my own terms.  That opportunity did not exist until I considered starting my own business, and hanging my shingle. I believed in better!  

My First Year as a Mom Boss

The first year I dove headfirst into being a mom boss. I was determined to create an income.  It was hard. I wanted to quit. I felt such a conflict between raising 3 little babies and building a business.  So when you see pics of Moms saying life is great, I’ve got this successful business, my kids are gorgeous and I don’t break a sweat, don’t believe it—they are selling a dream, not reality.  The truth is, being a Mom Boss will challenge you. You will feel like you don’t have enough time to work and/or enough time for your kids—that is when you are looking to build a significant income.  I stuck with it. I got good at not trying to do it all (it’s a myth). I let my kitchen be a mess. I let the laundry pile up. I told my husband to wear his underwear inside out day 2 (haha). I rushed lunch and storytime to get my kids to nap, and I had more sticky notes all over my office, sometimes with jelly on them from making sandwiches for my kids.  

I can remember vividly looking out my office window, seeing my mom friends in the cul-de-sac, and thinking, “I just want to not think about anything but hanging out and having coffee.” Those were the moments when I realized I had a lot on my plate. I also knew if I worked hard, I would get results. And that I did!  Within 3 years I promoted to the top of that company, and the following 5 years, I grinded and helped and coached so many others to achieve the same success I was experiencing.  

It became magical, I was growing and the whole Direct Sales thing truly became a platform for me to do what I love: speaking, training, inspiring, motivating, developing, coaching, mentoring, dreaming, casting vision, growing, and having fun!  I mastered leadership in this space and the culture was an incredible training ground to use my skills and transfer them to growing an organization.  

A Mom Boss Trying to Find Balance

The one thing missing was self-care, me time, and a lack of balance. At that point, I was in my 40’s, and I wanted more. I wanted to look and feel better. I wanted more balance and more time for me.  I was able to evaluate my life and my schedule and create more of the things I knew I needed in my life. Around that time, I walked into a Yoga studio, and everything changed.  

I decided to go after some personal goals: lose weight, write a book, renovate our home, etc. I did all of those things, and this time proved to be a time of evolution and personal transformation.  Business was not booming (hello 2008), but I was in balance and at a cadence that brought me more joy, and brought me more moments with my family, for myself, and for the first time, pulling me off the fast track—a track I had been on since college.  I felt freer, and all that work as a Mom Boss was pointing me in the direction of my purpose and passion. I started to write more around Living HIPP, and the importance of doing things that bring you joy and cultivating balance in a busy world.    

Helping the Next Mom Boss

Now, 18 years later, I find myself in the same space of the desire to help others, while having balance, freedom, and time to do the things I love: yoga, writing, teaching, inspiring and sharing my wisdom for the years of being a Mom Boss and small-town girl with a dream.  

I dove headfirst into my Beautycounter business, I had to hustle in a big way to work back to the income I left behind.  I was fueled with passion, but I knew my cadence was not sustainable—so once again, I had to go back to my values, my desires, and make this work in a way that feels aligned with my life.  I’ve realized in this next chapter that it is not about me, it is about the thousands of women that have since joined us, and that it is about them, providing an environment for them to thrive, and sharing this opportunity with so many more.  

There is nothing I love more than sitting down with a mom (or woman for that matter) and finding out what her vision is, what she is passionate about and helping her see what is possible and coming up with a plan to create it.  I knew this company could provide that opportunity, and we have built a team of women, some that earn a six-figure income, some that cover the mortgage, some that pay for tuition, some that are getting out of debt, some that are going on vacations, paying for the extras, and all of these stories fill my heart, because I know the difference it makes, and I know that they are being compensated for their work, both financially and personally.   Moreover, the intangibles are what really stirs my heart, seeing women build their confidence, get uncomfortable (hello growth), become team players and friends, empower and encourage each other, advocate and use their voices like never before, it is so inspiring to witness and be part of.  All because I took a chance once again.

You Can be a Mom Boss, Too

I truly can’t believe it has been almost 2 decades, and as I look back, this by far (aside from marrying my Charlie) was the best decision that I have ever made (okay, going to college too).   If you are reading this and you are a Mom Boss, I am cheering you on, remember, it is not easy, it is exciting and hard all at once, there are ups and downs, my advice is to not get too high with the highs or too low with the lows, just stick with it, don’t quit, and believe in your dreams, they are there for a reason.   For the Moms that are not in business but have a desire for more, my advice is to go for it, be it Direct Sales, or starting your own business that you have dreamed about.  I think the greatest benefit is the flexibility, the empowerment, and the people you meet along the way.   Cheering you on, always!  XO

Making assumptions can ruin our peace. As much as we work on ourselves, we also are human, vulnerable and for many, there are scars that are deep. When things happen, especially if making assumptions, we can let those ugly thoughts bubble up.

I know, because this recently happened to me.

Making Assumptions is Easy to Do

Without going into detail, I will share with you my knee jerk reaction to something that was never anything to do with me (and was truly not a big deal).  You see, I fell into the trap of making assumptions. I conjured up what might have happened, and I created a story in my mind. It was an old story and one that did not serve me or the situation.  My gut told me to drop it - it really was not a big deal - and move on. But, my fear, my wanting to be right, my vulnerable self won the argument.  

There are times in life that we react. We just say, do, and respond in a way that serves no one and is far from the truth.  In many situations, I am able to process, see clearly, breathe, separate, use wisdom, and move on with grace.  I have had to hold my head high so many times silently, with grace throughout the years—I have leaned on humility, grace, and faith.  

Resetting and Making It Right

In my case, I let anger bubble up around something that had nothing to do with me, and my story was made up in my head. It wasn’t a fact.  How many times do we do this as women? How many times do we make up a story in our head? When we conjure up assumptions, we let fear prevail over faith.

So what do you do when you have an adult tantrum? What happens when you go into reactive mode based on your emotions, old wounds, and place of vulnerability?  You recognize it, you own it, you apologize, you forgive yourself, and you do the next right thing.  

How to Avoid Making Assumptions

I do not do this often, but there are times I let old stories replay in my mind.  Recently, making assumptions lead me to some turmoil within myself. While the situation was not a big deal, I let my assumptions make it one. It reminded me once again, to "mind my mind".  I needed to go back to a vigilant practice of letting go. My Mom used to refer to it as “stinking thinking”. It’s when you are not prepared or in a positive mindset, and something triggers a reaction rather than processing. Yep, it happens to the best of us.  

Mind Your Mind

Here are some reminders when you find yourself in the situation of making assumptions based on what you imagine versus what is.

• Remember, the past is a canceled check.

• It has nothing to do with you.

• Let go and let God.

• Breathe.

• Assume the best.

• Think before you act.

• Think again. Give it time, space, and less energy.

Stay Mentally Fit

In addition to minding my min, I do some things to stay mentally fit.  This was a reminder once again to make sure I am taking action on these things:

• Affirmations and mantras.

• Learning through stories, journals, and daily inspiration.

• Yoga - Om shanti all the way.

• Mediation. Take the time to clear the junk out of your head.

• Serving others. Take the focus off or yourself.

So, when you are feeling mad, angry, victimized, annoyed, sad, or any feelings that bring up old scars, remember, you are human. We all have our light and dark.   Secondly, ask yourself this question: what is the next right thing to do?  Breathe in, let it go, and never forget you are worthy, you are accepted, and you are loved.  

Making Assumptions Happens - We are Human

We all carry two voices, one on each shoulder. One is cheering us on, and the other is saying things that build fear, that put us on the defense, that tear us down.  Those feelings are how making assumptions happens. This is true for everyone, and that is why I am writing about it.  

It is okay to acknowledge the voice that is negative. Perhaps you need to tell it to go.  Maybe you need to say, “I know you feel vulnerable, but we are going to do this.” Whatever you do, don’t beat yourself up, and likewise, don’t beat anyone else up, either - with your words, thoughts or actions.  

At the End of the Day, Give Yourself Grace

Listen to the encouraging voice and try to operate in that space whenever possible.  Sometimes we need to be our own best cheerleaders, and our self-talk is everything when it comes to how we experience each day.

Give yourself permission to fall down, make mistakes, and know that these experiences are what build your character.  It is not what happens, it is how we respond.  When we respond reactively or make a mistake, just own it, apologize and/or fix it.  Easy Peasy.  

While you lean on your positive voice, be willing to let go of the thoughts that no longer serve you.  We are all human, and this is the human experience. Be loving, forgiving, and kind to yourself and others, especially after making assumptions. Because we all do it.  XO

Women empowering women is so important. There is so much power when we show up with a positive attitude, support each other as women, and cheer each other on.  This topic is so near and dear to me because I believe in it wholeheartedly.  In my corporate days, we taught the power of teams, relationship building, conflict resolution, mentorship, and collaboration (interestingly enough, it was a male-dominated audience with women as well).  

We Need a Community of Women Empowering Women

My experience outside of my corporate leadership and training days was and is all about women empowering women.  Personally, I have experienced both sides of this by being surrounded by the most amazing, encouraging women that are incredible. Unfortunately, I have experienced the ugliest behavior by grown women, and it is not pretty.  I always believe things happen for a reason, and I use those experiences to learn, teach and grow.  

Let me ask you this: are you the girl that fixes somebody’s crown when no one is looking, or are you the girl telling others about the crooked crown?  

The Fixer

She’s the loyal friend or colleague that stands by your side when things are good or not so good.  She has your back.  She genuinely is cheering you on and celebrates your wins. She comforts you and supports you when you are down.  She is authentic, positive, and speaks life into you and others—she has an open mind and an open heart. She cares. She is compassionate and understanding. She sees the light in your darkness, she sees you shine bright and is inspired.  She knows undoubtedly the power of relationships, loyalty, vulnerability, and grace, for she is grace.  

She’s the girl you can call, for a laugh, a cry, or a great conversation. She is your person. She is your tribe. The encourager, the down-player (calms you), the listener, the person that understands and the person that believes in you and see’s things in you that you sometimes don’t see in yourself.  She breathes life into you, in good and bad times.  

The Talker

She has negativity, even though she might be positive too.  She is judgmental and a critic. She does not see the best in others all the time. In fact, she looks for their weaknesses.  She is competitive in an unhealthy way and cares more about fitting in and looking a certain way than in the people that surround her.  

She bases life on accomplishments and perfection or she is complacent and is victim to circumstances. She gossips in a big way and finds faults in others so that she can hide behind them. So that no one sees hers.  She has deep jealousy, she compares herself to others too often and she is snide in her remarks. She cannot be trusted and puts her own interests first before supporting you emphatically.  Her weapon is the tongue, and she uses it to judge, to compare, to dismantle others (even in the slightest of ways).  

She has a lot of growing up to do, she has a lot to learn.  She might look like she has it all going on (in fact, she might be high performing) but she is weak. She is on the surface and she lacks the depth to be fully open-minded, fully present, and fully supportive and loyal no matter what.  Her language is strong and mostly negative.  Her body language speaks volumes, and her eyes, when no one is watching, are telling. She lacks wholehearted love, compassion, acceptance, and tolerance.  She has a lot of work to do on herself to be the fixer.  

Let’s all Strive to be Women Empowering Women

Not one of us is perfect. We are not always kind and positive or without gossip or opinions (hello we are human and women)! However, there are differences in the kind of women that interact, gather, and communicate. Women empowering women is vital. Our female power and strength lie in our ability to empower, support, encourage, and celebrate each other, even our differences.  

There is a saying that says “when Sally talks about Suzie, that says more about Sally than Suzie”.   Don’t be a Sally.  We are raising generations of girls that need role models. Perhaps kindness before strength would be the direction to go in.  

We are all Queens in our Kingdoms, but the true leader and Queen is the one that shines beautifully from the inside out.  Be the woman that fixes another woman's crown while no one is looking.  Choose your court (tribe) wisely. Surround yourself with the fixers - the girls that no matter what you do, say, or experience are there for you, supporting you and cheering you on!  Let’s be women empowering women. XO

Having a Plan B in place is so important, no matter the endeavor.

Plan B is on my mind, as my company had to cancel our conference due to the Carona Virus.  The first lesson was attitude, while many were disappointed, all were grateful that the company put the people first. It was a hard decision to make, but it was the right one.  Even better, they came up with a Plan B - which perhaps has been in their arsenal should events get canceled due to natural disasters or states of emergency.  

We will hold it virtually. It will actually offer more to all of us because every consultant will have the opportunity to participate. The lesson here? There is always another option. Be open to change.  

This is not important to just business, it is important to our lives.

Having a Plan B

I learned the importance of this when I first started out in the industry of Direct Sales, new to the industry, eager to learn, and at that point, not earning an income.  

My husband got laid off, and at that time and moment, an important light bulb went off for us—we did not have a Plan B.  

I worked tirelessly for months to learn the business, develop clients, and build a team so that I could build an income. My business had a purpose, and it was to create a Plan B.  While it was a challenging time, it also served as a realization that we had all of our eggs in one basket.  This Momma Bird realized she needed to build another basket, and create a backup plan and dual-income.  

Make Your Own Plan B

What is your Plan B? Do you even have one?

If you look at your life, your work, and the current situation, do you have a Plan B?   If not, what steps can you take towards having a Plan B?

Having a Plan B not only catches you when you fall, but it also opens up to opportunity at times, something you have not considered, and perhaps a better answer or situation and protects what you have already done.  Plan B can also relieve some stress, you are better prepared for unexpected changes.  

If we go back to my Plan B in building a business in Direct Sales, not only did it fill that need, but it opened up an entirely new opportunity for my family for many years after my Plan B became my Plan A. It truly emerged and changed the trajectory of my life as a stay at home mom turned businesswoman and leader.

Having a Plan B Means Everything

I want to share feelings that I had before I really dove into my Plan B in Direct Sales:  fear, judgment, uncomfortableness, weariness to name a few.

But, I persevered anyway.  Those feelings of fear, the unknown the uncomfortable experience of being out of my comfort zone turned into the exact opposite only when I jumped in with two feet.  They were replaced with excitement, confidence, faith, and action (which drove out the fear).  

We all need a Plan B (and sometimes C, D, E.). Let this inspire you to look at your life and the various segments of it, so you can take steps toward having a Plan B today.

Curiosity is a wonderful thing, it can lead down a path you might have not expected or when you expected.   The concept of curious came to mind to me today, as I realized it is exactly one year ago that I looked at the site to build our house.  We were not in the market of buying or selling, we loved the house we were in, but knew our long term plan was to be by the water, that was not just a wish, it was a vision, declaration and ultimately became a decision.  I happen to love realtor.com, and my hobby is studying the market, look at homes and making my own assessment and projection.   I knew houses would be built and for sale on this very small private enclave, in fact, I had called the year prior, but did not pursue it.  I told my husband I am just going to check it out, I am curious, and had to go in to my well known (by him) sales mode of, if you don’t explore, you will never know.   It was interesting after seeing the sight, it was hard to determine at that time if this would be a good move.  Once I became more serious, my husband said “I don’t want to go through moving, and getting house ready to sell and all that work” (his work schedule and care for his Dad is demanding enough).  I assured him I had it, I would to the leg work (which I did until it came to the financials and at that point, he worked on that part).  

There were so many obstacles in the way, it was not the right time, we did not have the time to do all the work that had to happen, our son is still in high school in our town, what if our house does not sell, is this too much on the kids?  

While the opportunity was special (and that is what drove our decision ultimately), it was not perfect.  Will we feel loss of privacy, there is no land, parking is so limited, the street is too narrow, will the train bother us, is the building process too limited, and not customized enough for us.  

We wrestled over all of these thoughts, fears and real concerns—it took a few months to go from interested to committed, it was a process.

I bring this up because I think about how many people may be curious about things in their life be it homes, work, businesses, lifestyle, geography, etc….   The curiosity for most is not acted on, and so goes sticking with the the way it is and staying in the same safe place (I know because I do this too).  

But, What If…..

What if you explored your curiosity?

What if you learned more?

What if you let your fear not stop you?

What if you looked beyond all the reasons it did not make sense?

Perhaps there is a path out there for you to follow.

Perhaps there are footprints you can follow.

Perhaps you need to be the one to take the first step.

Perhaps you break out of the norm, and take a chance.

Perhaps you need to get uncomfortable, do the work, and see the possible in what seems impossible.  

Perhaps can do needs to replace can’t do.

Perhaps that dream or vision is in your heart for a reason.

Perhaps it is time to realize timing is never perfect, situations are not perfect, and any change is going to feel overwhelming or scary, because it is.  

When you get to the other side, you see that the hard work was worth it, you also begin to trust your gut (not people’s opinions or doubts) even more.  

Keep taking steps in your journey that improve your view, fill your spirit and get you uncomfortable enough to create change.  Remember, you are never alone in your walk, God, Universe and your people are by your side always.  XO

The past few years our older two kids have demanded the spot light as they had prom, graduation, college and then respective college activities, it is part of growing up Guyer (and not unique to our family).  My baby (my Colby) just rolls with it as he has since day one.  

While he rolls, he was never behind the scenes, he has always been front and center in our family: delightful, charming, smart, funny, athletic and as a child sometimes mischievous.  We have a nickname for him and his world “Colbism”, meaning he just crushes most things he takes on—he is magnetic, and draws people in.   

This week, I get to brag on my baby, as he had two great things happen in his favorite sport, first was being selected by his coach for an interview for our local paper (seeing his words and feedback just warms our hearts).    Two days ago we just got a call that he has been recruited to attend an event for HS hockey players in St. Louis (I honestly don’t know much about it) and he is not an elite D1 player, so we don’t even know if it will be in his future, but to be invited is an honor.   This Mom Boss is so proud, I think about all those years of hockey practice, driving all over New England and thankfully my husband and I shared that responsibility—it is a big commitment (like it was for dance for my daughter) but so worth it when they love what they are doing and build friendships and miles of memories.  These moments make me so grateful for having a business that allowed me to flex my time and efforts to meet all these needs, it is never lost on me how fortunate I have been (and continue to be).  

My Baby, a junior in high school, and the only one home.  People ask me all the time what it is like having just one at home.  My first reaction is that it is weird, we are so used to more and miss the other two.   However, we are loving having him to ourselves, something he has never had (as the third child he just always rolled).  It helps that he is easy, this kid is so easy….  He takes care of his things (for the most part), is fun to be around and runs with a great group of kids, we could not feel more blessed.  

I future trip and think about in less than 2 years he will be off to college, but remind myself stay here, stay now.   He hugs me most every day, we tell each other “I love you” and we laugh even more.  He plays too many video games in his room, but I am at the point with my kids that I trust them, I know them and their values, heart, hard work, kindness and the important things are all there.  Junior/Senior year is preparing them too to be more independent, to be more about teaching than barking rules (although we bark the rules when we need too)!   I don’t love his screen time and food choices, but beyond that, I am so proud of who he is, how he is and how he shows up in the world.  My Colby.  

This boy has me wrapped around his finger, he owns my heart.  

My FAVORITE thing in life is seeing my kids be good humans, that by far is my greatest joy.

We never wanted (or shall I say pushed) them to be the best, rather, we demanded they be good humans, try hard, balance school work with fun/play time and to above all else, be kind.   There are so many things about parenting I am not expert on, or perfect at, I have fallen many times.  But….  Our priorities and what we expect of our kids, has been something we value and cherish, and continue to see the messages, lessons and beliefs being demonstrated in these young adults.   Are they perfect, NOOO WAY, they make mistakes, they screw up, and we use those moments as opportunities to take responsibility, and learn from it.  

So while the dynamics in our home have changed, we are loving our time with him, and as a Mom Boss, I am so grateful I have time for all the things, even when I need to make a decision not to be there, I am able to do so.  

He may be 17, but he is and will always be my Baby Boy!  

Love is our greatest power, to feel it, to share it, to use it in our words, in our gestures, in our way of life and being.   When I lead with my heart, life is just so much sweeter, richer and meaningful.   

How often do we get caught up in our heads?

I mean….   Negative thoughts, negative comments, I see it sometimes and yes, I do it too.  When I go there, nothing feels as good.  When I set my intention and come from a place of love, it feels so much more aligned with who I am.  

Here are a few tips to help you feel the love!

Lead with Love

Lead your life with love.  If you don’t love it, don’t do it.  If your heart is not in it, decide to embrace and/or erase it.  Set an intention each day to lead with love.   Look for the best in others, believe in the best for yourself, seek beauty in everything, remove the negative thoughts and replace them with kind, loving & caring ones.  

Go Where the Love is!

This is a BIG ONE that will set you free.  If you find yourself around people who don’t appreciate you, don’t get you, don’t build you up that is okay, you know why…. They are not your people!  Go where the love is meaning go where people are more loving, more caring, more positive and more accepting.   It is easy to be a critic and sit back and judge everyone and everything, it takes discipline to distance that behavior and decide to be the person that operates from a place of love (which is a place of vulnerability).   

Love Big!

Love the people in your life BIG.  Hug often, tell them you love them, show them how much you care.  I would much rather be a silly, loud, weird goofball than a flat, stoic, snide  and/or negative person.   Besides the people in your life, be sure to show big love in all you do.  Let your passion shine, talk about things that bring you great joy and put your heart in to what is important to you and what is magical in the mundane nature of life.  

Practice Self Care & Self Love!

Self love is hard for us sometimes because we tend to put others first.  We need to use positive words with ourselves, and be kind and compassionate not only towards others but towards ourselves.   In order to love others, we must love ourselves (and what that means is to work on our selves).  

Likewise be sure to practice self care, now hear me out on this, self care is not getting a mani and pedi (while those are nice things to do for yourself), self care is self discovery, it is things like: rest, meditation, setting boundaries, reading positive books, doing things that bring you joy, and pampering is on the surface, but certainly part of the self care process.  It all matters, but what matters most is what is on the inside, and how you take time to nurture yourself and your soul.  

Love is our greatest gift, our greatest power and something that unites us all.  Lead your life with love, lead with your heart, fill others up with positive words & genuine comments and most importantly, talk that way to yourself.   Pay attention to how you lead your life, what words do you use, are they positive or negative?  Be aware of the thoughts in your mind and the words that you share to yourself and others.   On the daily, we manage other emotions like frustration, anger, sadness, negativity and it is when we look at ourselves in the mirror (look at how we think & feel) and learn to lean in to love each time!  XO

Before it became so popular, a friend recommended I watch Cheer as a must-watch.  Taking this advice, I decided to put it on one Sunday afternoon.  While I was a Cheerleader in the ’80s (and loved it then), Cheer today is so very different and reminds me of my daughter’s competitive dance with the stage make up, hair and costumes (while I get it is for stage, up close it’s not pretty or what we think of as athletic).  I truly no longer relate to it, while they are so much more talented today, I was not sure I would like this series.  The first episode did not draw me in, but I stayed with it.  During the second episode I began to open my mind, become interested in where it was going, paid less attention to the things I don’t like or necessarily agree with (hello critic), and took in the story, the people, the lives, the challenges, the leadership, the community—I opened up my heart and mind to all of it.  By the time I finished the story, I enjoyed it on so many levels, first of all, it is a feel-good story, while not everything on there is good or relatable to me, I appreciate the differences, the hardship, the diversity of this team and it is a great reflection of the diversity that (should) exist on all teams (athletic, corporate, community).    While there are things that are unimaginable that are shared, and things we (or I may not agree with), there is a whole lot more I do.    There are so many parts to the series that serve as a teaching example, an example of inspiration for both business and life, let's get to some of these.   Truly we are all so much more connected than different, and when we get to the root of it all, we can see a part of ourselves in some of the main characters (even better real people).    By far my favorite is Gerry, I related to him in so many ways, his true spirit of encouragement, kindness, and cheering others on, it is so needed, and for me, it is a part of who I am (I relate to his soul).   My favorite girl is Morgan, how can you not love this sweet, brave, courageous young woman.  The vulnerable part in me (and in almost every one of us) needs to believe or know that we matter and we are enough.  She shares her struggle, her story and also shows us how to be vulnerable, and while our story is not hers or for most not as difficult, we all do wear a sign that says “make me feel important”—Morgan won the hearts of so many of us and forevermore we are cheering her on.   Another example is Coach Monica, she is tough, but what makes it work is that she is kind and loving and watches out for those kids.  I love her focus, her tenacity and practice of “over and over again” because it works, that is what success is, it is not the winning at the end, it is all of the hard work, disappointments, and challenges along the way.  Like many coaches, Monica stirred up for some of us the coach and/or winner in us, the taking on a goal and/or a challenge and delivering above and beyond—excellence comes to mind, and the part of me that operates in that way, I could relate to the hunger but more importantly, the heart and love behind it all, is what matters most.

Universal Lessons:

1.  Hard Work

NOTHING happens without hard work, it is necessary for any and every endeavor be it personal or business.   Hard work is practice, again and again, and again.  It is doing the same thing over and over and over again until you get it right.  It is dealing with all the challenges, failures and showing up regardless.  The injuries in the show were hard to watch, but the overall message is that these athletes train hard, work hard and prioritize this in their lives.  Hard work is part of reaching any goal or desired outcome.  

2.  Team Work

The example of the power of a team and how “united we stand and divided we fall” is truly a thing, it is real and I have seen this over and over both in business and also coaching teams in corporate and yes, back to my cheerleading days.   Not only do you need to share a common goal, but you need to support each other, believe in each other, raise each other up, and raise the bar and believe that anything is possible with teamwork, hard work and belief.   

3. Positive Attitude 

Along with teamwork and being a positive teammate, having a positive attitude towards anything, especially a goal or vision and the people on your team.  One negative person can bring the entire team down (incorporate we used to refer to it as the Cancer in the organization when I taught Team Development).   It took them a while to get there, but it was so obvious that they were not functioning as a high performing team.  In business, athletics or life, in order to achieve and sustain success, a positive attitude and team culture are imperative.  If players are tearing down others, it will dismantle the team, and on the other hand, if players are building others up, the team will elevate and create a vibe and energy that establishes a winning environment.   “Team Player” is an important trait to success and to leadership, this topic needs more attention as it is such a powerful concept and contribution to developing high performing teams.   A positive attitude also is belief, having faith and letting your faith in God, Universe and a power outside of you lead the way (this is everything when it comes to positive attitude and positive outcome).  

4. Servant Leadership 

Monica is no-nonsense, so we are not talking about Mother Theresa, when I refer to Servant Leadership it truly is about caring for the people you lead, helping them better themselves and as a result of the common goal developing in all areas to not only reach the goal but also to learn so many lessons along the way.   Monica loves those kids, and they love her and are so loyal to her because of the positive impact she has made on their life.  People need to know you care, they need to trust that you have their back.  This is a great example for us as leaders in business or our communities and how we can be tough, goal-oriented, no-nonsense—yet be caring loving and truly changing people’s lives by example. A servant leader (in this case Monica) demonstrates believing in them, coaching them, advising them, and looking at the whole person, and encouraging them to grow in all areas in addition to crushing the goal.  If we were to survey all of her cheerleaders over the years, I am certain her impact is immeasurable, and the lessons truly serve more in life than they did on the mat. 

5.  Tolerance and Acceptance 

There are so many layers and levels of this in the series.  First of all, not everyone likes cheerleaders or the sport—It is a preconceived notion which truly is unfair and the judgment is more about the person judging vs the actual cheerleader him/herself and/or the sport.  I think this series did a great job in telling the story of this sport, and how cheerleading has and continues to be a great program for people to build their skills, confidence, voice, and spirit.  Another layer here is the diversity, these kids had really tough backgrounds, all different things that touched on everything from race, sexual orientation, religion, beliefs, socio-economic differences to name a few.  At the end of the day we are all connected, we all need to learn even more tolerance and acceptance regardless of our own personal beliefs.   To be inspired by kids of all different backgrounds is humbling, spiritual and level setting no matter who you are and where you come from.  

8. Be Kind

Gerry!!!!!!!!  How can we not just love Gerry?  He is the example of kindness, he is the encourager, the light, the positive spirit, the believer in good and better.    Gerry also shows us how it feels good to be kind, you can see how much joy it brings him personally, it just feels good to be kind.   Likewise, this series teaches us that it is important to be kind because you never know what is going on for a person or how much they are hurting.  The example of Morgan being at school (not having any contact with anyone at home) if someone smiled or said hello, it made her day.  While all of this seems obvious to us, it still needs to be said, be kind.  As mom always said, “if you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all”.   The vibe on kindness in this show is demonstrated from all angles, including the mean spirited comments and behavior that is not kind, and how that damaged the team and it’s performance.  We either bring out the best or worst in people, kindness is a choice, we must remember to be the encourager and not the critic.  

7.  Strategy

While the personal stories, personal struggles, and human spirit in the series was the driving force of why so many people loved Cheer, there was also a strategy (system) for this team to reach its goal.  This was such a great reminder of the importance of listening to the coach, following the lead, and having a plan b (c,d,e) for when things don’t go as planned (which is the case for most situations).  This important lesson is all about planning and preparation—something that is so important to almost everything we do in work/business and life.  This lesson here helped me enormously in parenting, I had a system, I had a plan, a schedule and this allowed my family to operate in a smooth way (among the chaos of the baby and toddler years).   While it seems so obvious, it is always an important reminder to know your plan and “preparation, preparation, preparation”.

So, if you watched Cheer already you might agree with what I have said here.  If you have not watched it I recommend you do.  It will draw you in more as you watch it, so stick with it and be sure you watch with an open heart and mind.  Not everything in the series will be something you agree with or like, don’t let that deter you from the awesome lessons, and the positive vibe to be had from watching this.   With all that is on television, this short series is time well spent that will hopefully open your heart, mind, and spirit to all the life lessons we already know, yet somehow need to be reminded of over and over and over again.  Cheers!  

This post is inspired by watching Cheer, as it brought me back to my own experience of being a Cheerleader and what that meant for me then and now. Cheerleading has evolved tremendously and no longer looks like it did back in the ’80s, when I donned my blue & white saddle shoes, huge pom pom’s and long Farah Fawcet-ish hair (hello aqua net).  

I take offense when I hear people say that Cheering is not a thing, or whatever pre-conceived notions they have (or perhaps a bad experience with a bitchy cheerleader) because for the most part, it is an excellent program and community for a young woman (or man) to become a part of.

I grew up in a small working-class town, where Cheerleading was revered, I was a pee wee football cheerleader (following in my older sisters footsteps), and watching the Varsity cheerleaders was so inspiring, they were soooo good, and I wanted to be them someday.  

Athletics were (and still are) big in my small town, Cheerleading was always big too, and the team and squad were always one of the best in the area, if not the state (30 years later, they are crushing it at these major competitions).   When I was a cheerleader, we practiced more than any other sport in the high school, and it was really hard to make the team (which I did not make Varsity until my Junior year)—our style was militant, and the sharp moves and precision needed to be perfect (back then we did not do the tumbles and jumps, today’s cheerleader requires far greater skills).  I can still remember early morning practices all summer long, I think we met up at the H.S. at 7 am (maybe earlier), practiced two hours and two weeks before camp (competition) we had double sessions.   We went to camp (which was our competition) and the goal each year was to SWEEP.  We always left as grand champs, first place and went in with that expectation—likewise most spirited squad and for me, being selected most spirited girl out of hundreds at camp was truly a moment, when you put yourself out there, and are awarded for playing full out with a positive spirit.   Glory Days!

Being a cheerleader taught me so much, it was such a positive outlet for me in high school and I love my squad and the people in it.  Hard work was most definitely the biggest lesson (which served me for years beyond those 2 years of Varsity cheerleading).    I can still hear Karen my captain junior year, “Pammy Mellor get those jumps up”.  The fact was, I was not as skilled as some of the others on the team, and where I lacked I had to work harder, and also make up for it where my strengths lied and that was in my personality and stage performance.  Teamwork was the other big lesson, we had to work together, we had to make it about the team and not ourselves, and back then our pyramids were risky (compared to what others were doing at the time), and it took full participation, playing full out and trusting each other and supporting each other in our roles.  Lastly, it was a positive place for me, my friends were on my team, we had so many laughs (work hard/play hard) and also perhaps a foreshadow of where I would be and who I would be (perhaps it was Cheerleading that influenced much of this): 

1. Speaker:  on stage speaking and inspiring others in business and life

2. Coach:   I would coach hundreds of women in business and life

3. Leader:  I would use teamwork and leadership to grow large organizations 

4. Trainer:  I would teach and facilitate Team Development workshops in Corporate

Beyond the roles, it was the lessons that are most important.  I grew my confidence by being on this team and also working towards a goal.  I knew what it was like to win (I knew you had to fall down a lot, and practice even more), I knew what it was like to set goals, have a vision and work so damn hard until you met it.  I also learned to not be afraid to stand out, which is a really hard thing for many, that fine act of being a team player, yet shining your light and feeling free to be who you are (this was such a great platform for that).

As an adult and a Mom, I will never forget years ago a Mom friend of mine saying “I will never let my girls be cheerleaders, I don’t want them on the sideline cheering for someone else”.  I remember cringing at that harsh comment, because strong girls are not just on the field or court, in my humble opinion, strong girls stand in their own strength and play the game that is true to them.  The bottom line is this…..  can’t we just cheer everyone on!  XO