Childhood & Motherhood
As mother's day approaches this weekend, I can't help but reflect on the meaning of motherhood and the tremendous emotion that comes with it.
It occurred to me that childhood is a short season, and we as moms know (and say all the time) it is going by way too fast. There are days I want to freeze them, and I have said this over and over. When they are little the days are long, as they grow, the years fly by. The innocence of childhood, and how truly fast it goes by when you watch children grow into teens and then young adults, "in the blink of an eye" and "just like that". If I had a do over (I would not change a ton) but what I would do is slow down more and embrace the present moment. We never get those times back, those beautiful faces and beautiful places they take us. As a mom, I rushed a lot, trying to juggle it all and keep it together. There were days I was in auto-pilot, and there were days I put work and home aside, and just focused on them. Those are my most cherished memories. I can get choked up thinking about how this time has flown by, how my kids are now teenagers, and think, how did that happen. My two oldest are taller than me and my baby is getting there. I am enjoying that he has not gone through puberty just yet, so I am loving and "taking in" his "still a boy" looks and antics.
As I reflected on this this morning, I had a revelation that Childhood is a short season that goes by too fast, but Motherhood lasts our entire lives. I am convinced there is no other love like a mother's love. I would literally do anything for my babies, anything, and I know you would too. I think of my mom, and the years and years of her putting her family first. Even as we left the nest, she never stopped loving, caring, worrying, and encouraging us as we grew, spread our wings, and created and built our own nests. While I watch my mom towards the end of her life, she still does and says things to protect us, and even though she is struggling each day with her health and the unknown, she protects us and is making decisions that she believes is best for all of us. We never stop being a Mother, and my mom tells me that all the time. I am learning to embrace new milestones, and that they are becoming more independent.
Admittedly it is hard for me, part of me does not want to let go, I want to hang on, nurture, protect, guide and love. The logical part of me and truly what I do want is to raise my children to grow up and become independent, it will be important for them to make decisions, experience new adventures and take on those next phases of life. So while their childhood is fading away, my motherhood is ever more present and it is a different kind of role and a different set of joys and worries. My intention for the teenage years is to be present, to be available, to be there, to not miss out on these important years which I will never get back. This feeling, this strong love, this bond will always be with me and will always be with my children. While I am blessed with a husband that is an incredible dad, his role helps me be a better mom. A question I always ask myself when it comes to business and the pull between work and family is this: "will it matter in 5 to 10 years?"
I know I will never regret making the decisions to be there, be available and be present. There will always be times I will miss games or performances but most importantly, a consistent feeling of being there is a feeling that brings so much peace, connection and fulfillment in my life.