Mid Life & Aging HIPP!
This is 57, not a monumental birthday, just a space and time of feeling tremendous gratitude for the gift of life and personally, the gift of my life, I am a blessed woman. I have been doing a lot of reflection on my life this past year, it is part of my growth and healing journey, but also part of my calling to teach, motivate, relate and speak in a meaningful way about vision, dreams, goals, manifestation and being the designer of your life. It also requires me to be vulnerable, to share the set backs, the vulnerabilities and the challenges we face in life, the key is knowing what is in our control and that most is not.
This will always be a practice for me, and the only reason I feel more wise is because of age, it is the experiences and the lense that I look through.
The past few years have been monumental for me in a very quiet and private way. I have never had a problem speaking up, standing up or addressing things head on, I have had a mama bear, advocate, passionate spirit and voice for most of my life (my Dad would be the first one to say I had gumption and my Mom would say, Pamela just never would back down, don’t mess with her). I suppose being the youngest of 5 kids required that I found my voice early, but I have had to navigate using it through trial, error and purpose, which is super hard for all of us at times because our emotions, beliefs, sensitivity get in the way, as does our ego, it is hard not taking things personally—these are mind traps we step on through life, and in our journey to learn to live with grace, humility, encouragement, acceptance and a vibrant spirit is beautiful work (and hard work) and I am living proof of this.
People will disappoint you, hurt you, talk about you, be threatened by you, judge you, misunderstand you, betray you, blame you, abandon you. I have learned this at many stages in life and what I have learned is this: other people’s actions are not your burden and also they do not reflect the truth of what really is….. It is humbling to be able to find grace, live with grace and practice grace both for ourselves and for others, this is a practice, and as I have grown, so has my ability to navigate this. As a passionate, emotion driven, deep thinking, heart centered woman, this is really hard, and it requires so much time and space to breathe, to become, to surrender and to build boundaries like never before. At this age, I have never been more in touch with myself than I am today—I did the best that I could years ago, but I was busy, overwhelmed, and in those seasons, did the best that I could and I think that is just how life works. Mid life (over 50) is a different time, because we truly get our time back. I have space and time in my life like I have never had before (and I relish in it). I have been dedicated to my HIPP Lifestyle for over 2 years of consistent Yoga, and moving beyond my formula (what works for me) and truly building my foundation (it is such good work, and while it has not been easy, it has been transformational). We all have a foundation, a formula and I created a framework which I am excited to teach others, and help them grow into their higher version, which requires us to dismantle the walls, stories and OPO’s (other peoples opinions or actions) and truly to own our power and never give it away as we have in the past. The key to all of this work and to living a HIPP life which feels authentic, joyful, aligned and loving is to truly understand our own values and to truly understand ourselves and to redefine how we live (what ever that means for you). In this we make mistakes, we will always make mistakes, we are human and that is what we do. Owning our mistakes and moving on is necessary, in life (and in business, I use this for coaching women) we are in one of 3 modes: blaming, complaining, or building. We need to build our life, and we need to build a solid foundation that allows us to live life full out, which for most of us requires rest, balance, alignment, growth, wellness, and a consistent practice for mind/body/spirit (HIPP). In this work, we surround ourselves with the people we love and who love us unconditionally—I have the best team in the world, my family and my people are my everything, they know it, I know it and those relationships are what matter most. Family is everything. Friends are like gems, the ones who love you, appreciate you and want the best for you through and through, those are your people.
You don’t do any of this work alone, this is spiritual work, it is a matter of handing things over and having faith you are being guided in ways that enlighten you, raise you, protect you, love you and free you from the people and things that are truly not for you.
I have asked God to do this for me, his answers have not been my choices, with the exception of freedom. He has worked miraculously in my life, and it did not feel that way, at times, it came in the way of hurt, pain or getting the short stick. None of that matters, what does matter is that we remember who we are, what we stand for and we stand up and do better, taking responsibility for ourselves and our experiences. My boundaries have never been better in my life and this has me standing on solid ground like never before. No achieving, no approving, no performing, no acceptance, no, none, nada….
Am I still ambitious, yes, but in such a different way, will I perform, not for anyone ever again (I did that for years and it was appropriate in corporate and in business), but not anymore, my worth is not in my connections, bank account, title, brands, networking/relationships, and what I observe and have done…. My worth and my life and love and spirit and heart are very simple, they are within me. They are me. They are not for everyone and everyone is not for me (this is HARD for a people pleaser, especially one that has a vision of changing lives globally). I’ve always had this spirit and energy, but what I have learned is that it grows and becomes stronger and wiser as we age. Life is far too short and far too precious to spend it on building someone else’s dream, falsehoods or the BS that happens out there, none of us are immune to it. We just need to awaken to it. Be in relationship with ourselves like we never have been before. Positive living, positive thinking and positive frameworks are essential, and sometimes they take negative experiences or challenges to arrive at. Keep moving in the right direction which is the “good” direction, it is where you are genuine, joyful, peaceful and free. It is leading with love.
What does this mean for you (the intention here is to write, share, and in my healing and hope and HIPP Life, I inspire you to be aware and to grow and evolve too)?
Before we make changes or grow or create more, we first need to understand the current situation and events, and get clear on our vision—this is what we do in Living HIPP.
Are you LIVING a life you LOVE?
The answer to that question is what will help you in your journey. I need to remind myself to be present, as I am a Visionary and finding that balance of here and now is important. True love, true joy and highly spirited living does not come in the form of what you have or things (even though they are fun and rewarding and pretty)—it is all in the JuJu. The life JuJu and Spirit, energy (your HIPP vibe) that holds value and is meaningful.
If I focus on the things that weigh me down, have not worked out and challenges (which we all do to some degree) I am only feeling it, attracting it and blinded by it (I know I know).
When we learn to shift and focus not only on what we are creating, manifesting and working on, we shift that energy. The key is not just on the creation, manifestation, the work is not just activity, the work is BEING. It is on the feelings, the emotions the energy and the present moment. It is both the simple joys and the tsunami of love you have for others. It is in the loving voice, the sarcasm and laughter, the magic that happens within you and between you and others.
You are the magic. You are and will always be the magic, and when you inspire others to discover, feel, their magic, you are lifting spirits and in doing so, lifting your own.
Okay, so the million dollar question is this….
How do you find your magic?
It is not outside of you my darling, it is not in that program, that person, that brand, that next venture or anything, it is inside of of YOU! It is you being you. It is you allowing your spirit to soar. It is you leading your life with love. It is you being the love, unapologetically and authentically—no one has access to you, or power over you or is better or less than you. You just need to show up as you and that better version of you. The better version os not the bitter version (oh I know, we all have that asshole in our lives, the inner mean girl, voice or gremlin that brings us down, it is always there and our job is to hush her with love, and take our power back. She is all the things that handicap our growth, our love, our leadership and our vibrant and authentic living. She is comparison, she is jealousy, she is negative talk, she is gossip, she is wrong….
People around you have her leading the way, so in order for you to truly rise and to truly lead your life with love, you need to be that magic, that love, that light, that beautiful version of you, it is your light. Your light is your love, it is your caring spirit, it is your positive thinking, it is your acts of kindness, it is the love you give to yourself, it is the love and service you are to others. Your light knows how to spark light in others, it is not competition, it is collaboration and elevation and edification.
Others will attempt to dim your light, this will always be the case, especially if you shine bright. Pay no attention to the dimmers and the downers and focus on the light and the love, that is what will not only light the way for you, it will light the way for many.
I have created a lifestyle and life that I enjoy (and I have bad days, and also fears and vulnerabilities), but for the most part, life is so good. Living in our Coastal home has been a dream for decades and to be here, at this stage feels really good. My daily schedule is by far a dream come true (I am so grateful for my business and GG, hard work does pay off).
--Magical Mornings (coffee, morning thoughts/gratitude, no hangovers or cloudy haze is magical), this is my happy hour.
—Yoga every day, it is a commitment to my HIPP life and supports me in mind/body/spirit. Beyond Grateful to drive through my communities to my Yoga studio by the river.
—Work from Home: I love getting cleaned up from Yoga, sitting by my big windows, seeing the ocean, sipping coffee or water and doing my work. Flexible work and working how much and when I want to is so important to me, it is how I have lived for decades. It is a gift!
—Walk the Beach: A Podcast and the beach, the sights the sounds, the smell, the beauty is breathtaking. Sometimes it is routines and sometimes I just pinch myself, when I am aware and present I pinch myself, and that gratitude shot is joyful.
—Music, Errands or Outings are always part of the day. The errands and running around are part of life, I just add music and enjoy the ride (spirit lifting, soothing, energy or healing). Outings are even better, giving myself the opportunity to have an experience be it meet up with a friend, go to a coffee shop or farm stand, or see a pretty sight or lovely experience (these need to be created, and they matter).
—Dog Walk: time with my furry friends, fresh air, movement is good for us all. Simple joys are abundant, we just need to look for them, create them, celebrate them and experience them by seeing them. Be it, feel it, do it, share it.
—Dance in the Kitchen, Stir up the Spirit, Share the Love and add this spice of life to your daily routine and your procrastination and your mundane list of things to do.
—Rest and Read: Rest, put your feet up, breathe, recharge, refuel, read something good, read something that takes you away, let words fill your heart and soul like affirmations, mantras and invitations but also allow yourself to get lost in a book and a story that takes you away.
Don’t wait until….
Create a lifestyle you love, it is that balance of doing the stuff you don’t want to do, delegating and saying no to what you can, and opening up space for simple joys, experiences, healing/heart centered living and giving yourself permission to retreat, be present, and shut down the noise around you, and tune into you.