Go Where the Love Is

I have recently experienced that “feeling left out” feeling, the one that strikes a cord deep in my soul from a wound long, long ago—I tend to not go there for the most part, but I’m human, and humility requires vulnerability. I don’t like this feeling, and to me, I chalk it up as middle school stuff, but as I thought more about it the reality is, as grown women there are times we feel left out…. And, it sucks….

After feeling the ping, and the pain, I acknowledged it, I thought, well, that sucks, it hurts, but no tears flowed, and I reminded myself I am a grown woman and I don’t need to feel this way—that gulp, that pain, that fear I used to feel. Even still, I could not help but think “why would someone do this”, “how can they feel good about themselves”, and I also felt kind of used (ugh, the worst feeling ever). I call it, “dropped like a hot potato”!

So after I had those thoughts and of course, discussed it with my husband, he reminded me of who I am and he also reminded me of who I want to surround myself with. Yes, that same advice I give others—that fine balance of “feeling the feelings” and then moving forward (with grace).

The truth is as women, we do feel this way at times, and sadly younger women feel it more than ever with Social Media. I had to fall back on a quote I had to use years ago, I coach others with it, and I needed to embrace it myself.

“Go Where the Love Is”….

I could not do anything about being left out, in fact, that had nothing to do with me. I also can’t control what others do, it is hard not to think, I would never do that.... The only control that I do have is how I manage my mindset, how I respond, and learning to go where the love is…. How liberating is that? How beautiful is that? Along the lines of…. “What others think of you is none of your business”. It is true, blinders on, lean in to the love, and let go of what you cannot control. There is a saying that rejection is God’s protection, I seek spiritual meaning and somehow God leads you in directions and shows us signs but sometimes we ignore it, and it will show itself again.

I also had to remind myself of how I want to show up for others. Again, we can’t control other's behaviors but what we can do is be the person we want others to be. I want to be the person that is thoughtful about others feelings. I want to be inclusive. I am reminded about how I want to treat others—I want to be there for others in their best and worst. So, while the lessons in life are hard ones at times (and sometimes we need to learn them over and over) at the end of the day, we need to go where the love is!

Grace. Love. Hope. That is how I am going to move forward….

Go where the love is, if you look, it will find you!