Shine Light on ADHD & Let Your Light Shine
ADHD
I had a conversation recently with a friend that was concerned about a recent diagnosis, her child has ADHD. As a Mom, I related to her concern, but thankfully, I’ve got some experience with this, and I am at a point I see the light at the end of the tunnel, I have come through the tunnel—and I shared these memories & words with her.
I will never forget the moment my Pediatrician shared that my child had ADHD (less hyper, but inability to stay focused and how this impacts his learning). My face must have shown all of my concern and he said these words which changed everything for me…
“If we didn’t have ADHD/ADD in the world, we would still be rubbing sticks together”!
BOOM! In other words, with out imagination, innovation, visionaries and big thinkers, we would still be stuck in the caves—I could visualize this and see the brilliance in those that think differently, while it has it’s challenges, it’s opportunities are far greater, it’s opportunities are gifts to the world!
He also shared (now he is an incredibly successful well rounded Physician, and cute I might add) that he too grew up with ADHD himself—by all means he had me convinced by the time I left his office that it was a gift. As we went through the questionnaire, not only did I answer the questions about my son, I also took inventory of my own behaviors and at that point screamed, OMG, this is me! I self diagnosed myself with ADD, and began to study it a little more for myself and my son.
My Story:
A few years after my self diagnosis (and this would explain why I feel I can’t get my shit together at times), l wanted to better understand this, and how can I be able to achieve so much, yet still feel chaos, overwhelm, anxiety, all the while bored and stuck at times. I chose to have an evaluation done for myself to better understand how it plays a role in my life, and based on the assessment with a professional, it is the leader of the pack (I don’t call them mental health disorders, that is just total BS)—my brain just works differently and it is my brain health and ADHD is the most significant underlying “disease” to other things that can arise: anxiety/depression/OCD to name a few.
I don’t like writing about this, because I don’t even want to own it, I don’t want to deal with it, and I don’t want to be different (how many of us feel this way about what ever it is we are challenged with)? But, I am different, I am unique, I do learn differently, and while it is a challenge at times (a Physician told me that everything is harder for me than a person that does not deal with this), it also has it’s incredible benefits and those are the things I choose to focus on and those are the things that make me, ME!
I am a big dreamer, I have always had a huge imagination, and as such, I am a visionary, I know how to create this not only for myself but for others, and to communicate this vision to include so many others. I am creative, if I had another career option it would be in creativity/innovation in marketing & communications— but I digress! Emotional intelligence is a big part of how I operate, this is my jam, I am high on the emotional intelligence spectrum because I understand people, I understand emotions and I empathize easily to these topics (show me a spreadsheet and my head spins, I don’t like the details and get bored with facts and figures, just show me the bottom line)! Leadership has always been a natural path for me, by personally taking on leadership roles throughout my life, but also studying it both professionally and personally for almost 30 years. While I have been around this topic for a long time, it is not the number of years, more importantly, it is the self awareness and assessment that keeps me relevant on the topic of leadership and truly being authentic to my abilities—leadership is not one person, leadership is knowing your strengths and weaknesses, and surrounding yourself with a team that augments your needs. This very process can and should be applied to the person with ADHD, it requires being self aware and more importantly, it requires the ability to create a support system (team) to strengthen and grow.
In my own discovery, I even took a course on this for adults, which I ditched so many weeks in because I got bored, we looked too much at the downside and that just does not work for me. I do remember an image they shared in the class, it was of famous people that have ADHD. This caught my attention because I had heard these things before, but if you think about it, it is incredibly powerful and it is the big thinkers, the dreamers, the vision casters that innovate and create. Walt Disney, the master of dreaming, the vision caster is yet one of many world renowned leaders that had ADHD.
While it is a challenge (yes, the day to day challenges are real), it is a GIFT.
So to the person who does not have ADHD, and perhaps has judged others thinking they are a scatter brain, ditz, a mess…. Let me be very clear, I would love to see you operate for a day in their brain, perhaps they are not a ditz after all, or rude or unreliable, perhaps they just have had to learn to let go of the type A ways of the world (for which they might have those tendencies too). Look for the genius, look for the creativity, look for the zest, look for the good, it is there, it is always there.
To the parent of a child with ADHD. I am no expert on this, and at times failed miserably, one only has so much patience, and we lost our shit a few times with our brood. But, what we did do is focus on the whole, I think my ADD helped with parenting a child with it because my focus only went so far and dropping the details (and ability to dissect it all) kept us all just living life, focusing on the good, and trust me, they turn out just fine (I parented a lot with my heart, and as I always share, you can never go wrong leading with your heart). My child is now in college THRIVING, he is as handsome as ever, likable by adults and his peers, funny (oh so funny and a bit fresh), and doing so well. The downside is this, he loses things, misplaces his keys, and the cost of sunglasses, jackets and gear (he loses) does not compare to the creative human being we have raised, this kid is passionate, funny, loving and I can’t wait to see the things he will do in this world!
To the adult with ADD/ADHD (which more than likely is not diagnosed because we did not do that back in the 70’s and 80’s)—you are a ROCK STAR!!!!!! Yes, you have too many tabs open, your brain is constantly going (squirrel), you feel like hot mom then a hot mess all in one day and you beat yourself up because you actually are doing so much work under the surface that people can’t see but some days, just checking all the things off your list is a big deal. I see you, I hear you, I am speaking up for you. I use humor to mask the calamity of it all, but for years I made fun of myself, somehow I always came out on top, but always by the seat of my pants. Today, I better understand it, but the negative voice inside is always there, years of beating myself up for not getting it together, remembering everything, I get exhausted just thinking about it. Procrastination is real, it weighs heavy in the body & mind of a person with ADHD, yet our ability to turn it on and power through is amazing. The art of focus and forgetfulness, I think accepting both just feels good!
The image with this post includes famous people with ADHD, there are so many more from world leaders, billionaires, celebrities and then there is you (or your child) who is no different from them. So what ever crazy idea you have, go after it with abandon! What ever vision you create, believe in it and take action. You are gifted with a mind that is full of imagination, creativity, vision and power, you are also cursed with a world that expects you to dot all the I’s and cross off all the T’s, remember, F is part of the alphabet, and screw the I’s and T’s (someone has that), F that, step forward in your greatness (and give yourself permission to take a break, you are not lazy, you are just working over time in your brain). Shine your light on the world! XO