Years ago in business, a mentor of mine shared this with me and many other Moms, “you’ve only got 18 summers with your kids”.  At the time I first heard it, it made me think about how important the growing years are, but quite honestly I still did not realize how quickly it would go (even thou the toddler to school years went by so fast).  

This past weekend, my first born and only daughter turned 18 years old.  We celebrated the weekend with some mother daughter spa time, shopping and then a nice family dinner in Boston. Leading up to this birthday, I really could not believe my baby girl was turning 18, it really does happen "in the blink of an eye".  As I coach other Moms in business and also share inspiration from the platform of Living HIPP, I wholeheartedly remind every single Mom that you only have 18 summers, and I say it with wisdom and knowledge of how true it is, and how they really do grow up.  We have another year of high school, so that makes these changes and these milestones a bit more easy to face as it is all so bittersweet.   

The boys are growing so fast too. Our oldest son is a full blown teenager that will get his license this summer, he will have a summer job and in the Fall will begin his Junior year in high school.  Our youngest has his own milestone of graduating 8th grade, he will join the other two kids in high school, 3 of them in high school at the same time will be a memory builder for them (and for us)! 

Our girl starts her Senior year, is 18 and in early spring, met a wonderful young man that she is now dating.  For the first time we are seeing her seriously fall for someone, and a beautiful relationship blossom.  Young love is a beautiful thing (I guess this is easy to say as we could not be happier with the young man in her life).  It has been our “Father of the Bride” moment, similar to the movie, it is about a girl that has fallen in love with a boy, and the Dad sees his little girl changing.  While she is not getting married, it is that sweetness in life that happens, we could not be happier for her, but her Dad has needed a little time to adjust.   Seeing them as a couple, and seeing two special people be together truly is a blessing.

So, only 18 summers.  Life is changing for us (and for many of you) in front of my eyes.  It just goes by, time keeps going, children keep growing and it is another reminder to be in the moment, live in the moment, and be grateful for the moments.  I find it is the simple moments, the laughs, the conversations, the memories that matter and for this season, the summer ones.  Our senses bring us back, they remind us of the sweet memories: the smell of fresh cut grass, the ocean, the lake, the grill and the sights of sun, of flowers in bloom, the pretty blue ocean and warm sand, the green grass & pretty tree’s—even the smell of rainfall in the summer, and splashing in puddles—it is all so sweet and reminiscent of summer.    

18.  How did we get here?   I am reminding myself that there will only be one summer of 2017 and to embrace it by living in the moment, and creating great memories for my family.  Finding that balance of working hard, but living better (meaning living life with meaning)—let the good times roll!   There were many moments I missed as a "work at home" mom, but also many many many moments we created because I could be there as well.  I can only share that you will never regret the moments & memories you made with your children and those you love.  You will never regret choosing your family first!  Remember, all you have is 18 summers, enjoy each one.  

Oh summer, I just love you!  XO

As I watch my newsfeed filled with graduation pictures, I can’t help but think about this important time in a young adults life. Of course, I think next year as a Mom I will have my first graduate, and those sentimental feelings come rolling in. So while I am not going through this as a parent myself, I would love to offer advice to our graduates, as a professional Life Coach & Strategist, as they begin a new journey into adulthood and take on this important milestone.

Graduation marks two things, the end of an era and also the beginning of the next chapter in life. I would like to focus on the next chapter, and life lessons that I have lived, learned, taught and practiced over the years—these are great guiding principles that are important at every stage in life, and are a great foundation from which to build upon. These are leadership and life lessons which should be at the core of everything we do, graduate or grandparent, they can be applied to everyone. For today’s post, I focus on the graduates:

1. Believe in Yourself.
Always believe in yourself, no matter what. You always need to know that you matter, you have a voice, you are capable, you are worthy, and you can reach any goal you set your mind on. There will be times in life you need to be your own best cheerleader, coach and advocate, always believe in yourself and never let anyone take this away from you. Remember these two important lessons: What other people think of you is none of your business (it does not matter what other people think, their thoughts are a reflection of them). Also, never compare yourself to others (everyone has a different journey, focus on your own, also, with social media, you only see the highlight reel, never compare your behind the scenes to someone’s highlight reel on Instagram).

2. Work Hard.
Anything that you want in life requires hard work. Be willing to be the person that goes above and beyond, that gets the job done, that doesn’t give up until you reach your goal. Hard work is essential in life. This is the one thing you have control over, so while you can’t manage what happens or who has better skills and/or opportunities than you, you can work hard. A strong work ethic will serve you your entire life, let it begin now, and be that person that people and companies, and communities can rely on and want on their team, until you create your own.

3. Create a Vision.
Cast a vision for your life. You don’t have to have it all figured out and this exercise is on going and an evolution. Visualize as well what you want in your life, and believe that anything is possible. Expand your imagination, reach for a better version of you, and cast a vision of what is possible, believe in it and nurture it (even if it seems impossible, that word alone really means I’m possible). Have something in your living space that reminds you of your vision, even if it is pictures or words—review it each day. This is a powerful tool that can transform your life, and help you at each stage as you learn to expand your vision, and manifest what you truly desire in your life.

4. Set Goals.
This exercise and practice will help you throughout your life. The key is to take action on the goals you set, it is the activity that helps you achieve your goals. You can apply this to every area of your life. Choose two areas to begin, and work towards these goals—make sure you write it down, post it and review it each day. It is important to know where you are going, and to be clear on what to focus on each day. Focus on the activities which bring you closer to your goals.

5. Think Positive.
This is probably one of the most important lessons you can embrace in your life. A positive mindset will be what makes your life go from good to great. Life is hard sometimes, it is going to knock you down, and you will experience a range of emotions which are unbearable at times. Always remember that “it could be worst”. Think about the positive in each situation and train your brain to go to the positive thoughts rather than the negative ones. We are in one of 3 modes: complaining, blaming or building—be the builder, be the person that takes 100% responsibility for your life and take ownership of that and your attitude. Share your positive attitude with others, this will not only help you, it will make our world a better place. Be the light for others, and always shine light on darkness. Also, surround yourself with people that lift you higher and are positive, avoid those that bring you down. You become like the 5 people you surround yourself with, choose wisely.

6. Practice Gratitude.
When we approach life from a place of gratitude, it helps to shift everything. Gratitude helps us to put things into perspective, and also aligns us with the magic, beauty and blessings in life. If you can begin each day by simply writing down 3 to 5 things you are grateful for, it will keep you grounded in a positive place, and will help you stay the course, and focus on what is really important. It also allows you to appreciate the simple things in life, it is the simple things that truly bring joy to each day. If you can’t get yourself to do this daily, do it on occasion to begin, and when your mind wanders, or you are in a rut or overwhelmed, just capture the 5 things you are grateful for. An attitude of gratitude will truly make you accountable for your life, and also appreciate all you have.

7. Live in the Moment.
Mindfulness and living in the moment will help you really be present for your life, for those you love and for what is really important to you. As a young adult, you will need to plan for the future, however, don’t do so at the cost of the present moment and present day. Living in the moment helps you connect to what is important to you. Living in the moment helps you stay focused, and to engage in relationships that are meaningful and important. Remember, yesterday is a canceled check, if something has happened which bothers you, learn to put the past behind you, do what you can to make things right (apologize when you mess up), and move forward with your best intentions. Learn to be a good listener, and be interested rather than interesting when it comes to your relationships and being present for those you care about and want to be with.

8. Do Your Best.
No one can “do you” better than you. Always do your best, and don’t worry about being the best. When you do your best, you allow yourself to truly blossom and bring your best gifts forward. When you try and be the best, you can force yourself into competition mode, which is okay, but it is at the risk of not being aligned to your true self. When you do your best, you will grow in many areas, while staying true to yourself. Being Authentic and being who you really are is important, never forget where you came from and always honor yourself. The world does not need more imitations, the world needs more of you! Take a brave step forward, declare who you are and what you want and go after it!

9. Be Kind.
Be kind to others, and always be kind. The world has too many bullies and there is too much angst and fear that needs to change, let that begin with you. Be kind to others, and also be brave enough to stand up for others when someone is not being kind. Always put yourself in the persons shoes, and look to make everyone in your path feel important and recognized. Very simply put, treat others as you want to be treated. One important lesson here also is to be kind to yourself. Say kind things to yourself, be good to yourself, take care of yourself, and practice self care. Empathy and compassion are two attributes that are necessary for to achieve greatness, because greatness is not just achieving, greatness is who you are being.

10. Be Humble.
While it is important to believe in yourself, to achieve and reach your goals, to do better and to create success in your life, it is equally important to be humble. Stay grounded in all you do, and be good to all walks of life, it is diversity that allows you to be well rounded, grounded and an amazing human being. See the best in others, give credit to others, recognize the people around you and focus on others—when we serve others and genuinely want to make a difference, it becomes less about us, and more about being of value and service to others.

11. Give Back.
Be generous with either your time, money, skills, compliments and self. When you create a mindset of service and helping others, it truly will bring you joy but also, it makes our world a better place. If you see a problem in the world, don’t complain, ask yourself “what can I do to make this better”. Exercise your voice, be the difference maker, stand up for others that can’t stand up for themselves. Find a purpose or cause that you are passionate about and get behind it, if it does not exist, then create it. All great movements in life start with one person, believe you can be that person, or at the very least, get behind a cause that you believe in. Do you want to create a legacy that is selfish or do you want to create a legacy that you are a generous person that gives back and helps others. In life, there are givers and there are takers, be sure you are the giver.

12. Love.
Lead your life from a place of love. You only have one life, and for some it can be short or go by fast, put your heart into everything that you do, and lead your life with love. Tear down any walls that you have built, or lay down the fear of what others will think. Expressing love and opening your heart is the greatest gift you can give to the world and those around you. Tell the people you love that you love them. Show your affection, write the letter, send the text, make the phone call, and share how you are feeling. Your emotional intelligence is far more valuable than your intellectual intelligence—the world has not caught up to this yet, but listen here, and own this now, it will be what sets you apart. Always lead your life with love, and let that love begin, by loving yourself first. Speak love to yourself and others and always remember that YOU ARE LOVED.

13. Eat Well & Exercise.
You are what you eat. When you eat better, you feel better, this is so important yet so hard for young adults. Strive to practice this to some degree and make it part of your lifestyle. Choose nutrient dense foods when possible, and always try and get exercise and fresh air, it really does matter and it will be important to how you feel. Your health is by far your greatest asset, don’t take it for granted, and fuel your body well, so that it performs well. If you take this on as a priority, you will create good habits, and will feel better on a daily basis. Sleep, exercise, eating, hydration are all important when it comes to daily living, be mindful of this, and make it part of your daily practice—this will fuel you today and shape your future in mind, body & spirit.

14. Make Good Choices.
By now you know what they are. Really try and make good choices, when you are presented with situations that may or may not be a good option for you—choose good. There are consequences to our choices and you need to think through this and be aware of this in the decisions you make. Live by this simple motto to help guide you through decisions and daily practices of life: “Do the Next Right Thing”. You can ask yourself “what is the next right thing for me to do”, this will help you stay the course, do the next right thing and live life in a way that helps you prosper and grow.

15. Cultivate Integrity.
Integrity and character are as important as your health. Choose to be a leader, and an example for others by making integrity important in all that you do. Having integrity means that you are honest, responsible, reliable, and a leader in the roles in your life. Character is important, and it begins with you. Character and integrity mean that what you do when no one is looking should be equal to what you do when people are looking. God is always watching, and being honest to yourself and others is important to your values and the values and the core you are building. You will be tested, and in those times, remember how important this is, and by doing the right thing, you are leading by example and living a life of honor and honesty—expect this of yourself and others.

These are just a few lessons that are really important to remember, embrace, practice and live by. You only have one life to live, so begin by owning it, and getting to know your heart and soul and what it is you desire. Be patient as you figure things out, be willing to make mistakes, it is not about the setbacks, it is all about the comebacks. Have fun, take chances, and make memories with those you care about. Congratulations to you, and this is not the end, this is the beginning to so much more, the journey ahead begins today, it begins with you! Make the world a better place as you step forward in creating your best most wonderful life!

XO

This afternoon I was laying on my daughter’s bed with her, petting my dog Poochie and looking at my dog's sweet eyes.  

I had this thought about kindness and I was reminded of a conversation I had earlier in the day with someone, yet another person, that told me, “I was bullied when I was younger”.  I was hit with the thought and reality that kids are bullied every day, kids are mean to each other every single day.  I thought how so many kids go through life with a lump in their throat, wanting to be accepted, but dealing with the unkind comments, mean behavior, and thoughts that swirl around in their heads.  They just want to be happy, to be accepted and to be loved.  Bullying isn't only between kids, it even happens with adults.  Some kids are abused or treated poorly by adults.   While I want to focus on the good, I cannot ignore this truth, this fact and this huge, real problem that we are not addressing in the way it needs to be addressed.  

I told Kaili that for some reason, that I had these thoughts and that it bothers me to see kids treated so unfairly by others, and she responded, "me too".

I was reminded that I am so passionate about this topic.  It bothers me, upsets me, and I see it as a big problem, one about which we should be doing more.  I said out loud to Kaili, “I need to do more”.  I have so much passion. I know I inspire others, but what am I really doing if I am not doing anything more about this important topic and both the kids and adults that need someone in their corner?  They (we) need someone to champion this more.

That was the end of the conversation.  Was it a God Shot?  Was it a reminder to teach kindness?   My daughter said something brilliant, which I could not agree with any more:  “They should teach this more than so many other subjects in school”.  True.  The emotional health of our children (our future) is so low, even though we like to believe it is so high.  Testing, standardization, scores, and so much content that they will never use in life is shoved down their throats in every grade. Yet, being kind, being compassionate, being empathetic, and being a champion of others is not at the forefront of where kids learn, where they develop and how they embrace these important characteristics.  

Why on God’s earth are we not doing more about this?

Why don't Moms (who I believe are the most amazing people on the planet) speak up and rally to create change, not only for children but for adults (we can’t even be good to each other sometimes, as we judge, criticize and compare)?   One might argue this should start at home.  We all know it does not or it only does for a few.  I even see great families, families that sort of talk about kindness, push their kids so much that they become so competitive and lack kindness and furthermore learn criticism from their well meaning parents.  These parents continue to unknowingly teach their children how to criticize and compete rather than to understand and empathize.  Emotional intelligence is not valued as it should be and we as a society are suffering, our kids are suffering.  

As I think about my purpose, this topic comes to mind.  While I love to inspire and teach people to live their best life, I can’t help but want to teach kindness; kindness to self and kindness to others.  Empathy, compassion, kindness are not valued to the level they need to be.  School is wholly about academics and I can’t help but think that they will never use so much of it. Instead, the important lessons on how to be kind, how to treat others, how to build others up are what matters.  This is what will make our world a better place.

It is all so big and overwhelming.  How do I make this world a better place by teaching kindness? By standing up to bullies, by calling others on mean girl behavior, by sticking up for the children that are being treated poorly by peers, adults, teachers???????

I don’t have the answers, but I need to understand that I am being guided and that I will be used in this purpose and in His purpose.

I will reflect more on this.  I will remind myself that my own experiences with childhood bullies and adult mean girl behavior were not there to hurt me.  Instead those experiences were there to help me and prepare me to be a voice for so many. It is so much bigger than me.

What is your purpose? How can you use your voice to create change and make our world a better place?

We all have a voice, we all have a purpose.  It is our job discover it, to uncover it, and to exercise it for the betterment of ourselves and others.

My purpose and my voice scare me.  It is so big at times that I can’t get my head around it.  I remind myself that my heart is bigger and that I have way too much passion inside to just follow someone else’s passion. I need to unleash my own even more!

XO

I love the underdog and have always had a heart to cheer them on, believe in them, want it for them and to know deep inside my core, in some way, we are all or have been the Underdog.

When was your underdog moment?

I believe it is our underdog moments that show us what we are made of.
I believe it is our underdog moments that push us out of our comfort zone.
I believe it is our underdog moments that build our character, determination and commitment.
I believe it is our underdog moments that humble us, and ground us in our humanity.  
I believe it is our underdog moments that make us more compassionate and empathetic towards others. 
I believe it is our underdog moments that are spiritual gifts we are given and should then share.   

It is unfortunate that some of our underdog moments are not necessarily a result of our aptitude or ability, sometimes they are based on others opinions or evaluation.  We know not to let that stop us, and we also know that we are 100% responsible for ourselves, our action and our results. The beautiful thing about our underdog moments, is that we persevere through any obstacle, doubts, fears, and people or things that are in our way, for these stones become steps in our journey and pursuit.  

My underdog moments have created who I am—they have been a series of lessons on life and shape my own experience on how I live and what I teach.  I believe I am a champion for the underdog because I am the underdog—my life would look completely different had I not reached inside of myself and listened to that voice that said “I want more”.  I would have had a completely different life had I followed the advice of others, and the path that was set for me to follow.  

Growing up, I felt like the underdog for a few reasons.  One being that school did not come as easy for me as it did for others, knowing myself today, I probably was ADD (most definitely) and a different learning style—to this day, this sets you back in traditional education.  Secondly, growing up with such humble beginnings and financial challenges just makes you feel like the underdog, it is apparent and beyond obvious to yourself that you don’t have the same advantages as your peers, this was something I felt to my core, you look at things differently and value them differently.  

My underdog Moment are many, but one that really stands out as my moment, and success story was as a high school student and my transition into Adulthood.  I will never forget being in the Guidance Councilors office discussing my plans for the future, and the path I should take regarding college.  In my high school, while people went on to college, a good percentage went in to the workforce so this was very much an acceptable path for many in my community.  I sat across the desk from my Councilor and I wanted her to tell me something like this “You have everything it takes to be successful in college, and we are going to do everything we can to support you in that process, I believe in you and want to help you”.  Those are not the words I heard and I will never forget how my heart sunk, and my hopes disappeared when she said something like (in a very kind voice), “I don’t think college is the path for you and I think you should look at getting an administrative job or secretarial job to start in”.  Gulp.  I was agreeable to her but inside I will never ever ever forget that feeling, disappointment, conflict, misunderstood, left out, labeled, mad, sad, confused, and hopeless.  I am certain I just put a smile on, agreed with her and thanked her for her time, I had not exercised my voice in that meeting, and buried the lump in my throat and the dream that was stirring in my heart.   Even though she did not say this, what I heard was YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.  

After graduation, I did get a job, and entered the workforce even thou I wanted to be going off to college as some of my friends were doing.  I hated it, it felt wrong inside, but by all accounts, I was doing what I was suppose to do.  I was working alongside some people my own age, but mostly women that were my mom’s age, I was stuck in a place I did not want to be, and did not know how to get myself out.  

Sometimes our Underdog moments have their break out moments because of a champion and someone who believes in you.  My girlfriend’s dads believed in the underdog (me), and took action and became my champion.  He said “Pammy, you really should be in college”.  It was music to my ears but seemed impossible.  I responded that I don’t know how I would do it, how I would afford it and how would I get in (two big huge hurdles that seemed impossible to get over).  As fate would have it, his friend was a Dean at a college and he would set me up on an interview.   I borrowed my girlfriends professional clothes, and brought my A game to the meeting (and Mr. F brought his belief and recommendation and obviously put in a good word).  I was accepted, the interview went well, and the next hurdle was financial—Mr. F told me that I would get scholarships, grants, Financial Aide and would probably need to borrow money, and with my parents help on filling out the paperwork, that is what happened.  My parents were concerned, could I really afford it, how will I do it.  I just told them, I didn’t care, I would make it work, it would somehow work out, and that is the path I followed that following Fall.  Faith filled my heart and fear slowly dissipated and while it was there, my faith was stronger.  

My underdog moment became my game changer moment.  I would thrive in college, work several jobs to support myself and not only put myself through college and earn a BS, I graduated Summa Cum Laude and would go on to receive my Master’s degree years later.  I love this story for many reasons, but at the heart of the story is a young woman (girl), that heard from an adult and professional that she “was not good enough”.   She also had a champion in her corner that validated the voice inside of her that said “there is more for you”, “you are worthy”, “you are smart enough”, “you can do it”.

It required me to be brave, it required me to move past the fear, to break down the labels, walls and opinions of others (even myself).  I moved past all of that and because I took that action, that step, it completely changed the trajectory of my life.  Education was the key for me to open up so much more inside of me, it put me in circles and circumstances I would never have been able to before.   Career, marriage and lifestyle would all change, because of this one very important Underdog Moment, the moment I had a choice, and decided to listen to the voice that said “what if”.  

What underdog moment are you facing today?
How can you be brave enough to step out in faith?
What will it take for you to break through the barriers, walls, and status quo?
What does God have in store for you that you are been neglecting.
Listen to your heart, listen to that whisper inside, listen to your soul.  It always knows the way!

Also, be the champion of yourself and others.
Who are you cheering on do do more, be more and have more?
Who needs you in their corner?  Who can you help go from impossible to I’m possible?

Be that person.  Be the champion.  Believe in yourself.  Believe in others.  

We are in this thing called life together.  Why not work together, see the best in ourselves and see the best in each other!

Having a business and/or working from home can be a challenge for many Moms.  

For over 15 years I have loved the ability to work around my family, work from home, have flexible hours and truly design my life, my schedule and be family centered while creating success from home.   

While there are so many benefits, it does not mean it is easy or that flexibility is care free, there were many times I had to struggle with the juggle, and have had to miss important things with my family in order to be successful and grow as a leader and create a thriving business.  

As a Mom Boss, I have had 15 summers of planning for work, 15 summers of planning for family life, 15 summers of making memories, making business grow, and some how, making it all work, from babies to now teens.  I have made mistakes, I have been held captive in my home office, I have had incredibly successful summers in business, and ones which were not so successful.  I have also experienced the joy of figuring out how to work smarter and more focused—and also coaching many women and moms how to do the same.  The summer months are a different animal, schedules are completely different, business can be really good but you really need to make that your intention and go after it and hustle for it.  Summer months can also be a great time for you and your family, to go on vacation, build memories and truly live in the moment with those you love—this is sacred time.  Over the years I have figured out how, and have also helped many Moms implement strategies to have a successful summer in business and at home as a Mom.  

Here are 5 HIPP TIPPS to prepare for your summer as a Mom Boss:

1.  Establish Office/Work Hours
This is so important to your success this summer.  Establish hours of when you will work, and make sure you have coverage or child care for your children during these pockets of time.   Also schedule in time for you, for exercise, meditation, reading non fiction content that inspires you.  

2.  Lazer Focus & Power Hours
Work smarter not harder!  Make sure the activity you do actually is income producing to your business and not busy work or administrative work (save that for either early morning or late night outside of your prime time work hours).  

3.  Increase Your Activity
My most successful summers in business have been when I have turned up the heat on my business, filling my calendar with more activity, and taking advantage of these awesome months to grow my business especially when others are not.  Also removing busy work, I will catch up with that in the Fall.  It is a mindset.  

4. Create A Summer Top 10 List
This has been really important to making sure we don’t miss out on the important things that we want to do as a family in the summer (or the very least, things I would do with the kids).  Sometimes it is a bigger adventure and other things on the list might be “picnic at the park”.  It is awesome to create with your kids, hang in the kitchen and check things off as you do them.  This guarantees fun family time & summer adventures and also helps to keep you family centered this season.  

5.  Daily Summer Fun!
Each day I would be sure that I was available to do something fun with the kids.  It could be a few hours on the beach, it could be a trip to the park, it could be going for ice cream, or just blowing bubbles in the back yard when they were little.  This is the time you shut off your phone and be present with your kids.

My Mentor Rita would tell me that we only have 18 Summers with our kids.  I can’t believe the little girl in my tribe will turn 18 next month.  It does go by in the blink of an eye so don’t miss out on being there, being present, and also know that you can build your business, you just need to get really good at planning, and working with extreme focus and tenacity (busy work does not work well to achieve all of these things).  

I have a saying, and it is “operators are not standing by”.  Meaning, put boundaries in place with your business or job, don’t always be available by phone, and responsive to every request, call and person that reaches out to you.  Unless you are a brain surgeon (which you are not), it can wait.  Be present, let texts come in, calls go to voice mail, and be present in the moment with your littles.  You can follow up in the evening or perhaps when they watch a show before dinner time.  Your office hours are your time to dedicate to work, and your family time is your time to be present with the kids, and I have done both (meaning present and interrupted, and the being present truly brings so much joy to you and your kids).  

When you feel stressed or overwhelmed, which more than likely you will at times this summer, try and remember how fortunate you are to have the ability to work from home, plan your day, your schedule and be able to be there for the memory builders, even just the ordinary day, which to many of us, is the true memory that we hold on to.

XO

Can You Have it All?

As women and moms, we have this desire, belief or curiosity at times, can you have it all?

Lets first define what “it all” actually means….

For most, it means having a career, business or purpose in addition to raising children, and feeling you are successful in both areas.  

I believe the answer to that question is yes, and no!

Having it all is a myth, because it is not something that is easy, natural, and without intention, thought, guilt, sacrifice and friction at times.

I believe you can have it all, when you don’t do it all!  Meaning, you need to let go of trying to do everything and be the end all and be all to your family, your business, your work, your life.  We all know that behind the curtain, behind the scene is a Mom that is exhausted, feeling guilty (you are not a good mom when you are at work and you are not a good business leader when you are at home)—at least that is the story you tell yourself sometimes because it is not easy, and you are not super woman (she’s a myth).   

This nagging question needs to be answered based on your priorities, based on your values, and based on your aptitude.  

You can have it all, when you learn not to do it all.  Delegating responsibility and simplifying areas of your life make this possible.  Likewise, carving out time that you are able to dedicate to your family and to each child is what makes this work.  Here are some ideas and things you can delegate, and create a support system that allows you to thrive in both life and business as a Mom Boss.

—Child Care:  Secure care for your children during the times you are working and they are not in school.  Even a mothers helper can be valuable for a few hours each day or week.
—Personal Assistant:  This can be a game changer even just a few hours a week.  Outsource some of your errands and things on your to do list.
—House Keeper/Cleaner:  You can save yourself hours each week (and stress) by hiring someone to clean your house, and perhaps fold your laundry as well.
—Grocery Delivery:  This can be a big time saver and allow you more time with your kids and/or on your business or work.
—Dry Cleaning Delivery:  Again, another option to mainstream and simplify your life. 
—Virtual Assistant:  This is a smart way to leverage your time and skill set, hire someone to do the work that is not a good use of your time or skills.
—Meal Delivery:  There are great options out there to have fresh meals delivered to your door, or ones that just need simple preparation.  

These are some ideas to get you started.  While there is a cost or investment to some of these, the payout on some is priceless and also in most cases, I have been able to grow my business even more, because I was able to build a support system, and leverage my time in my business and with my kids.

Having it all means not doing it all.  Having it all also means that you can’t have it all at the same time.  There are seasons and business cycles that pull at you more, and there are dedicated times for family that are sacred, guard each of these and be sure that you gain some balance when you are not in a busy season or project that demands more of your time.  Makes sure your life blends, and that you create time for the important areas and people in your life.  

XO

The theme in my life right now is the lesson of Letting Go.  It is so hard and I wrestle it a bit, and as a Mom, for some reason I am going with the flow, but never the less, it is not easy.  

My oldest is our only daughter and being the oldest, she has had the joy and pain of being first at all of our parenting experiences.  The joy is that we are fully present, we are there for her, we adore her, we embrace each milestone with enthusiasm & love.  The pain is that she is our first, our only daughter, and we hold on tight at times, we let our fears bubble up, we also make mistakes—we laugh with her about this as we acknowledge that her youngest brother will have it easier, in which he already does (the grip lessens with each one).  Many of her friends are either the 3rd or 4th child and I believe that has helped, as it pushes me along with the fact they are growing up, and it has helped me find balance in that need to protect yet prepare.  

I am learning with teenagers, that you play the role of teacher, protector, guardian, disciplinarian and keep a watchful eye on their world—setting boundaries that keep them safe from the realities of what happens in high school, and the paths you want them to avoid, and make good choices.   I feel a shift in me, I feel a shift in my parenting, I have been heavy on the rules & boundaries and I find myself allowing more space for choices, and letting go more, and allowing for space and independence.  I never think of myself as strict, but I do see myself as involved and protective.   She thinks I am cool because of my personality, but she knows I am tough when it comes to the important things, oh, that balance thing creeps in every crevice of my life.  

She likes to remind me she will be 18 next month, even thou she is finishing out her Junior Year in high school.   She also asks me to trust her, to trust her judgement, to trust her ability to expand her circle, her independence, it is all shifting.  I can clearly remember a conversation I had with my Dad when I was in college (I am the youngest of 5),  we were walking and we were talking about parenting teens, and he said “Pam, you’ve got to trust your kids, there comes a time that you just need to trust that you did the right things, and they will make the right decisions”.  A conversation from almost 30 years ago, is a lesson I am living out today, boy do I wish I could talk with him more about this.  But truth be told, I get what he means, you develop relationships with your kids, and it is through those relationships that you build trust.  

I have taught her from the time she was a tween to play defense when it comes to boys.  While she has her own values and I give credit to her for this, it has been a conversation we have had over the years, the importance of respecting herself, her body, and standing firm in those values (which can get confusing for teens as they are exposed to so much in high school).  I am proud of her, I am proud of who she is, I am proud that she takes this seriously, and has used discernment over the years.  While she begins a new relationship that came out of no where, that is progressing very nicely (and surprisingly fast), I find myself letting go even more and I am surprising myself as I see my girl go from girl to young woman.  While her Dad is having a harder time with it, we are both happy for her, and grateful to see two incredibly great kids be together, having fun, treating each other well, and the excitement, joy and magic of young love.  And just like that, she is expanding her circle—she is growing and she is becoming more independent.   

In a year she will be going off to college, in one month she will turn 18 and just like each milestone, her brothers will follow her lead.  I find myself trying to find the balance of holding on and letting go (it is hard) but it is beautiful.  I wish my mom and mother in law (who is ill), could be here, and talk with me, and tell me I am doing it right….  But, I can hear my mom now, she is saying “you’ve got this, you are doing this, you are doing this and you are there for her, but she is growing up, and so are you”!  My MIL who was captivated with our girl, she would be smiling and she would say she is lovely, everything about her is lovely, she would feel my trepidation and would express her own, but in the scheme of life, she would look at all of this as part of life, and would enjoy this stage of parenting.  Watching us both grow as women, me as a mom, and my daughter as a woman.  It is beautiful and wondrous, and the miracle that is life.  

If there is any such thing as holding on, while letting go, that is what I am experiencing right now.  Any Mom that sends her child off to college knows that you want them to experience independence before they go, and I am guessing this is part of it.  The evolution of of life, growing, parenting, childhood, adulthood, motherhood.     Generation to generation, the hopes and dreams we have all of a sudden happen in front of our eyes, it is happening.  I am holding on.  I am letting go.    

I will hold on forever, I am never letting go.  However, I will let go as I walk this path with her, and be behind her every step of the way and do the same for her brothers.  I don’t have it all figured out, but what I do know is that Moms are the most bad ass people in the world, that is what I know for sure! Not only do you need to raise human beings and care for them, you need to manage this huge emotion, this emotion of love that is so strong, that it can overcome you at times.   There is no other love than that of a mother, and that love never ends, it grows inside of us, and our children become our heart beat, even thou we let go, we are always holding on!  

XO

When it comes to People & Situations. 

I have had a few experiences in the past few years that have been hard for me to fully let go of.  Sound familiar?

While I can’t get into the details as it involves others, what I can say is that stuff happens in our life, and some things do happen to us, and how we manage it is either the burden or lesson.  I have experienced both.  It is a process.  It is really hard to let go sometimes, and this is a life lesson that we experience over and over again.  Faith truly can help out & heal in these moments.

Yoga has been transformational in my life and it continues to help me in my journey.  I find when I am not there, many things that have bothered me will bubble up, and when we don’t resolve issues, they will cling on, and show up at some point in time.  Resentment can transpire and this is not good for anyone, certainly not for the soul.  I choose joy.  In my journey of Living HIPP, I push myself to get past obstacles and be at peace.  Sometimes I can do this with grace, and other times it can be a struggle.  Letting go is really hard sometimes, and I am learning that in some situations it is a process.  Much like grieving, it is a process, and there are stages that we need to go through at times.  I recently had a situation that I realized (finally) that I needed to forgive in order to let go.  Forgiveness is a spiritual gift you give to others but most importantly, you give it to yourself.

It is really hard when someone has “wronged” you, or done something damaging.  It requires you to be the bigger person, it requires you to step forward in faith, humility, vulnerability and grace.  I have been on both sides of this, I have had to forgive and I have needed to be forgiven.  And in both situations, I have had to also let go of the results of that, and just be okay, and to just believe that I have done all that I can, and the rest is out of my control.  

So how do you let go?  It is really hard, but here are some things I have done, which I think are important actions for us to take, and I have had to revisit them over and over again, until one day, you are just lighter, at peace and willing to truly let go.

1. Surrender:  Realize you are no longer in control, hand it over to God, the Universe, and be willing to be open to it’s own journey.  Release it all...

2. Let It Out:  Communicate, write, speak, and do what ever you can to get your thoughts out of your head, we harbor anger and then that turns to resentment and that is not good for anyone.  Let it out.

3. Pray:  Pray for guidance.  Pray for the ability to let go.  Pray for compassion, wisdom and patience, pray for those you are challenged with.

4. Do Good:  Sometimes we need to shift our thoughts from judging to being, you can’t change others but what you can do is change yourself.  Be the person you want to see in the world.

5. Practice Gratitude:  When you practice gratitude each day, it allows you the opportunity to focus on what is important and what is good.

6. Think Positive:  This can be a challenge when it comes to this topic, but this truly can shift it all.  When we change our energy, we change our world.

7. Compassion:  Have compassion for those that have harmed you.  Hurt people hurt.  This is really hard, but when we realize we are all humans, and we all make mistakes, we are able to move past the challenges and look at them as opportunity for growth.  Be the bigger person.

8. Communicate:  Have a conversation or exchange with the person and attempt to resolve any conflict.  Apologize for your part in it.  

9. Forgive:  The shift in really letting go is forgiveness.  This is as much more for you than for the person who did something wrong.

10. Move Forward:  Looking ahead and moving forward is important to healing and moving past hurts or conflicts.  This requires you to be the bigger person, be that person, pick yourself up, and step forward with grace and love.  Take action, action conquers fear or hurt. 

As I watch my kids in high school learning subjects that they will never need to use in life, it is incredibly disappointing that we don’t teach kids and young adults more on these important life lessons that they will need to learn, understand and apply throughout their life.  This is a lesson I continue to learn and develop even through mid life.  

Who do you need to forgive? What do you need to let go of, lay down and put to rest?  Perhaps now is a good time to do so, so that you can move forward with your HIPP life.  

XO

The success of one woman is an inspiration for another.  
I am surrounded by successful women, and I choose to be inspired by them, and also to celebrate them.  

Are the women in your life successful?  Now lets first define success….
Are they living the life they choose to live?  Are they positive and do they practice gratitude in their life?   Do they demonstrate the behaviors and character that you want to emulate or that is aligned with who you are and how you want to show up in the world?

Most recently, I got to see many colleagues and amazing women shine as they were speakers at our company event.  I was most excited for my business partner, and to see her shine and share her gifts & talents.  I actually loved seeing each person do this, all are so different but shared their hearts, their passion, their hard earned experience and that to me is inspirational and an honor to see.  

Let's be real here….  Why is it that as women, we don’t always allow others to shine?  
What if we look at these women as a gift, and as teachers as to how we want to show up in the world (assuming they are good people, with good hearts, and good intentions)?  

I love to be inspired by others, and in return, it is my intention to inspire others by this and also through my life lessons (the good, the bad, the ugly).  Our greatest moments don’t come when things go well, our greatest moments come from the challenges and the behind the scenes events.  I personally am having one of my most challenging times behind the scene.  Most recently, it would have been easier to not attend a business trip, but I did so anyway.  It would have been easier to not attend a meeting, but I did so anyway.  I am glad I did, because while things are challenging at times, there is so much inspiration and people that inspire that in me.  I chose action rather than fear, I find when I do that, it helps me grow and stretch as uncomfortable as that is.  

Seeing the success of so many others recently was nothing but inspiration to me.  And what I love most, I am genuinely happy for them.  That spirit, that vibe and that passion is what fuels me, lifts me up, and helps me get through the more challenging behind the scenes situations.  Being happy for others is an energy and spirit we need more of, especially in terms of how women interact together.  

Who inspires you?  Are you inspired or intimidated by the women around you?
Choose inspiration.  Choose to celebrate others in their moment.  Choose to be the champion of others.  Choose to be open minded, positive and kind.   Remember, you are not perfect, there will be those women that are not your tribe and are not your vibe, that is okay, let go of them and be who you are, and cheer most others on!

Be the change you want to see in the world.  Be the woman you want to see in the world.

XO
 

I am being bombarded with this message, in my heart, soul and own personal experience.  Just coming off of a powerful event with my company, I personally have experienced the power of a positive tribe, the power of women supporting women and the power of how this can make our world a better place.  

I spent a few days with a team of women that inspire me.  To see them come together, get to know each other, share experiences, laughs, dreams and challenges was incredible.  I am reminded that we can’t do anything alone, that we are not alone and when we gather, and support one another, remain positive, that anything can happen.  

Over the years in business, I had the good fortune of a mentor that taught us how to work together, that taught us how to be better, that taught us the power of leading with our hearts, team work, building each other up, and how that not only feels good, makes our world a better place but helps to grow community.  I have also had the good fortune of my Mom who is that person, who genuinely sees the best in others, and lived a life of kindness and service—her example has and will always be the benchmark for me.  

While most of my experiences are positive ones that I have experienced over and over again, the power of women coming together in a positive way, I have also experienced the challenges of women that do not support one another, and how toxic this can be, and spiritually what it creates. Rather than spend more time talking about the negative impact, I would love to share some of the messages my Mentor shared with us as she grew a community of women that became a shield for each other and a brand—she not only influenced individuals, she developed leaders and culture.  I see this as an opportunity for all of us in the world.  I just read a post from a year ago where I wrote that I wish more women were like my Mom, because if they were, our world would be a better place.  We all need to be reminded of this, I hope these lessons help you as you lead with love, and expect nothing but the best from those around you.  

10 Lessons for Women working Together:

1.  Be Positive
Be a positive person and leader.  Look for the best in each other and yourself.  Speak life into yourself and others. Translation: Don’t you dare go running down (talking about) the women around you.

2. Be Generous
Give.  What act of kindness can you do?  Are you generous with your time, your money, your experience?  “To Whom Much is Given, Much is Expected”.  Acknowledge those around you with gifts and/or praise. We all wear a little sign that says “make me feel important”.  
Translation: Don’t be cheap. Even when it comes to tipping, always go with the bigger number in your head. It is by the grace of god you are not serving the meal, making the bed and cleaning the toilets. Money: It’s not yours anyways.  

3. Lead with Your Heart
Be that Caring spirit that brings love into everything that you do.  Care about others, treat others the way you want to be treated. Translation: You have a choice, love or hate, you will attract what you put out there.

4. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
There is always going to be somebody more successful, skinny, beautiful, smart, wealthier, healthier, etc…..  Stay focused on you, and don’t ever compare yourself to somebody else (especially when it comes to Social Media, don’t compare your behind the scenes with someone’s highlight reel). Translation: Suzie does not have it all together, it just appears that way.  Focus on you, and wish the best for those around you.  

5. Be a Champion for Others
There is so much power in championing others.  It just feels good.  It means so much to others, because they might not see what you see in them.  Be the champion for others, stand beside them, let them know you have their back.  Translation: Everyone needs someone in their corner, be that person for them.

6. Mind Your Mind
What you think about you bring about.  This is a choice you have in every day.  Guard your thoughts like you would guard your newborn baby.  What are you saying to yourself, what are you believing to be true, what is it you are attracting into your life. Translation:  If you want good, think good.  Positive vibes leads to positive tribes!

7. Praise
We work harder for praises than for raises.  Praise is so important when women work together—take time to acknowledge and praise each other, do so from a genuine place.  This requires you to step out of your comfort zone at times, be willing to go there, be the leader, be different and set the example for others to follow.  Translation: Be sure to recognize those around you, especially those that can do nothing in return for you.  Don’t just praise those that can do something for you, the beauty is when you do this expecting nothing in return.

8. Stretch Your Vision
Dare to think big, dream big and share big.  When we let go of what others think (by the way, they are not thinking anything), we allow ourselves to see a bigger picture and share that bigger picture with others.  Translation:  Be the vision caster for those around you, not only think big for yourself, but encourage this in others.

9. Be the Builder
When we are working together or on ourselves or our businesses, we are in 1 of 3 modes: 1. Complaining.  2. Blaming   3. Building.    Choose to Build.  When we get stuck in the other 2 categories we become complacent and when we share this with others, we bring them down. Translation:  You are 100% responsible for yourself, don’t blame others or use a negative voice, it does nothing but bring others down.  Raise them up.  

10. Have Faith
Leadership and Womanhood (how women work together) is a spiritual experience, when you put your heart in, and lead, good things happen (even in the face of adversity & challenge).  The challenge is that not all women behave in this way (as mentioned above) and that makes for a really difficult experience for many.   Have faith, and never let yourself stay down when others try and bring you down.   Get back up, and lift those around you up.   When you encounter this, let these individuals be teachers for you on how you want to show up in the world.  Translation:  Women are not all alike, choose the ones that are positive and light and let go of the rest.  You can’t change everyone, you can only change yourself.  Go where the love is.  

When women support each other, amazing things happen.  Be the woman you want see in the world, and inspire and teach that in others!  

Be Yo Self!    

Life is too short, it speeds by, and it is so important that we capture the moments, be in the moment and enjoy the ride and most importantly, be who we are and want to be.

This weekend was a reminder, I got a AARP card in the mail, what the what?  

I don’t even know what it is, I only remember my in laws talking about it and thats as far as I venture on this topic.  Rather than look in in that direction, I chose to look in the direction that I feel, a road ahead full of opportunity, memories, good times and ventures ahead.

On the same day, we decided to take the convertible for a ride, the weather was warm, spring is in the air, and it feels good just to play music, feel the warm air and enjoy the ride.

We drove through our coastal towns, music playing, care free and taking this time to not worry about family, life, parents, our kids and work.  We just cruised, sang, danced and had fun.  Simple moments like this feel good.  

My husband knows my personality, and this picture captures it so well.  He said, let me get a picture of you.  For over two weeks I have been sick, a virus that has kept me down and out.  I have also had some other things on my mind, it felt good to set that all free, and just be.  

We chose the road to be on.  Enjoying the moment. Singing while not knowing all the words. Hat on backwards, just because it feels good & playful Carefree, we let go of the realities in our world. Kids, we were kids for a few hours, not with ours. A couple, we took time for each other and not everyone else. Laughed.  We can always rely on a good time, or a few good laughs

Yolo.  An attitude of you only live once. A “this is me” moment, as in 'be yo self'! Peace Out.  Sometimes we just need to throw our hands in the air like we just don’t care!

The beach. The car. The Moment in time.  This is living HIPP. Capture the moments, because that truly is all we have and why not make the best of them!  

XO

Elegant is she who sees the beauty in others.  

“Elegance comes from being as beautiful inside as outside.” 
― Coco Chanel

Admittedly, for most of my days of being a Mom, I don’t know what I am doing but I do know how I am feeling….

Well, let me take that back.  I know what I am doing when it comes to the important things, but it is a journey, each stage in their lives, and learning how to love, lead, learn, and let go.   The emotions are high, strong and oh so vulnerable and full.  

I can’t tell you how many mistakes I have made and I will continue to make.  Balancing a business, motherhood, growing as a woman myself, and raising kids is not easy.  As much as we attempt to do it all, each and every Mom knows the work that goes into it.  Some days are long and mundane, some are insane, some are overwhelming and some are pure joy and magical.  

I am on the other side.  I have not arrived but I am on the other side.  The other side of this is the strong desire to raise a girl that is confident, kind, responsible, lovely, strong, and exercises beauty from the inside out.   While we have not arrived, I can see it all happening, I can see her light shine and it is that same light she has had since day one.  Beauty is an inside job, it all begins in the heart.  

That fine balance of a girl (or shall I say young woman) that will be kind but also stand up for herself and others.  As I watched my daughter stand (and pose) for Prom, I could not be more proud of the woman she is becoming.  As her Mom, of course I think she is beautiful on the outside, but what really takes my breath away is her inner beauty.  She really is that girl.  When she is not rushing out the door, or on her phone, or with her friends or at dance—she asks for hugs, she jumps on my bed and we talk, we laugh, we connect, we bond.  While in my professional life, I inspire others, and hold that honor sacred, I teach leadership, I teach life mastery, and I practice these things each day—being a mom is more visceral, vulnerable and is my most important work here on Earth.    

My mom was my teacher, and now I am hers….   
She hears me preach more than she wants to.  She hears these lessons she does not want to hear, all thrown in to the chaos of every day life at our home.  I pray she hears, I pray she knows, I pray she always believes in herself, her worthiness, her ability, her heart, her mind.  Today, I look at her and say, we’ve done good. This is not just me, it is my husband, it is the community that surrounds her, and it is her (and in all things it is God).  She is divine.  She is grace.  She is what is lovely.  She is my baby girl who is in this incredible evolution of womanhood.   I sit back in wonder, how did we get here, and how did it happen?  I am in this vortex of holding on and letting go….  Is she ready?  

So for those of you reading with younger girls, and want them to grow up to be beautiful human beings that a strong, independent, confident, kind….
I don’t have all the answers, I don’t know what I am doing all the time and I make mistakes…. but this is what I know for sure….
Don’t raise the best, don’t look to be #1 in everything, don’t get so caught up in doing it all, that you suffer the consequences in the next generation.

Teach kindness.  Be Humble. Fall down.  Hug them every day.  Make Time.  Forgive Yourself for not being there at all times.  Surround Yourself with Good People.  Put Family First.  Lean on God.  Laugh.  Follow Your Heart.  Embrace Your Humor.  Let it be.  

Ask the question, “will this matter in 10 years”, ask it again….   Teach empathy, compassion, love, grace, and exercise those things as much as you can.   

I made some really good decisions and I have messed up daily.  I have felt mom guilt, and have had moments that I did not think I was doing it right or good enough.  I am here to tell you that it does not matter, what matters is love, just love them with all your heart (which is one thing I did), and when they know this, and feel this, they capture it inside.    

Another milestone and another opportunity to see my girl, and to see Gods work, and to see love and her community (family, teachers, friends, parents, care givers) all shine through as part of her cloth.  This fabric all threaded together with different touch points, sewn together so beautifully.    
Raise them Up.  The dress, hair, make up & style will only carry them so far, it is the inner beauty that radiates and truly defines their beauty.

A girl should be two things, classy & fabulous!   It is she that sees the beauty in others that truly shines herself.  Stunning, grace, beauty, elegance are all simple measures of the heart.  And this girl right here has stolen mine, and will always have it captured.  

This is an invitation to unlock your potential.  

Every one of us has a potential that is within us.  It is unique to us and it resides inside.  
We have an opportunity to step up as a leader, the leader of our lives.  The answers do not exist outside of us, they are all within.  Each one of us holds special talents and gifts, and it is our option to discover them and honor them.  

Who are you and what gifts reside within?  

To begin on this journey, it is important to start trusting yourself and your power.  The truth is, only you hold the key to your greatest potential.  Can people see it and recognize it in you, yes, but you cannot rely on that.  I believe it is your belief, faith and courage that can open you up to so much more in your life.  

The following steps can help you along in this journey, this beautiful journey in discovering your best self and your most glorious potential.  

—mindset: shift your mindset to one of opportunity, optimism, hope, light, discovery, and elevate your self and your mind to a new height. 
—discipline:  be prepared to discipline your mindset, belief and actions and make sure they are aligned with where you want to be, not the circumstances of where you are at.
—belief: in order to reach your true potential, you’ve got to have faith and you’ve got to believe.  Believe in all that is possible, believe in all that is good, and believe in the impossible which truly means “I’m possible”.  
—create: understand that your potential is not someone else’s dream, someone else’s vision—it is unique to you, own that, marinate on it, and create it, take action each day to honor this.  
—plan: once you have a clear idea on where you want to be, plan to take action, to take brave steps in that direction. 
—activity: take action daily on moving in the direction of your dreams and vision.  Activity and momentum in that direction are what will help you dispel fear, and align more with your vision as opposed to your doubts.   
—people: surround yourself with people that believe in you, support you and are like minded, remove the nay sayers from your life.   

I believe we are the co-creators of our life.  Along with a high power, it is up to us to discover our truest potential and when we honor that and are brave enough to tap into it, we will live up to our highest and greatest potential.  

One Word.

One word can inspire so much thought, emotion, inspiration & clarity.  
Words are daily inspiration that can move us, calm us, excite us, and empower us.

I love words and depend upon them daily for inspiration.

What are your favorite words?  What inspires you to take action on the daily?  

Here are some of my favorites, not the full list, but enough to make me feel good:

-happy
-joy
-create
-love
-inspire
-passion
-faith
-simple
-peace
-courage
-strength
-leader
-family

What one word gets you inspired, focused, or moving in a positive direction?  
One word can inspire you, encourage you and ground you.

XO