Mind, Body, and the Bee!
No matter how much work we do on our mind and body, inevitably there will be times that our natural instinct, our temper, our reaction will prevail—it’s real, its life, it’s us. To do the work on the Mind & Body helps mitigate so much, we learn not to sweat the small stuff, it truly helps us on our journey on becoming a better version of ourselves.
My Dad was a great example of this my entire life. He did not have an easy life, yet he got up each morning (before the world) and did so in a cheerful, grateful and punctual way.
As a child he experienced things no child should ever experience, he never talked about it to me, but as an adult I can clearly see it was trauma, and I believe had an impact on his health. At the young age of 29, he had a massive heart attack, and was not expected to live. He fought through, and surprised the doctors as they say he fought for his life. A heart condition so severe, that he was no longer able to work. I will never forget being in a Psych 101 class my Freshman year of college and learning the role of the male, the provider (breadwinner) and how important it is for them, and if taken away, some cannot survive. I then thought of my Dad, and realized how truly remarkable he was, as he was fighting a fight most men don’t, and doing so with grace and dignity. He also fought addiction, and lived a great deal of his life in that journey, he worked on himself daily, which is something I reflect back on and realize how truly amazing and strong he was.
Charming, handsome, kind, funny, fresh would describe him well. He was a deep thinker, he loved deeply, and he had so much wisdom when it came to life (I have been told he has helped so many people, but I never knew this, he never spoke a word about the good deeds he did). He also would fly off the handle pretty easily, and it was usually about the smallest of things (but because he was taking care of himself in mind/body/spirit, he managed to learn not to sweat the small stuff the majority of the time. The big things in life he handled with empathy, compassion, understanding and resolve. The small things, he could brush off, with the exception of times where he would just react, raise his voice, swear and we would all have a laugh afterwards of his reaction (I think we all have had at least one parent like this—or perhaps we are that parent). The story I will share will then explain, the Mind, Body and the Bee!
My Dad, as I shared above, worked on himself and sought ways to take care of his Body (by walking), and calm his mind (usually by driving, listening to music or reading). I will never forget one day he was on the deck, it must have been late summer, early Fall and he was reading a book, Relaxation Response, by Herbert Benson, M.D. There was a bee buzzing around him, he calmly swatted to whisk it out of the way—this went on for at least 6 times. The bee was persistent and after so many whisks which were calm, my Dad had enough and took his “Relaxation Response Book” swatting it at the Bee yelling “you M——r F——g Bee!!!! It was funny and we all laughed at the irony of him reading a book on relaxation and mind/body and the reality of annoyance and reaction. To this day, this story makes me laugh, and any time a Bee is bothering me, I always think of my Dad.
A few years later the story came full circle as I was a Recruiter at a teaching hospital in Boston, and I was working with no other than Herbert Benson the author of this book, I was able to share the story of my Dad, and he laughed and thanked me and asked permission to use it in his speeches.
So did he close the book, give up and just react to life? No way, he lived the book, he got up each day, stuck to a schedule, enjoyed his morning coffee and the sunrise, he loved to drive and listen to music, that relaxed his mind and fed his soul. He walked daily, he met up with friends, he read, he helped others, he spent every single day with family, he visited his grandchildren (daily). While these things don’t seem like a big deal, they are, they are everything. The bee is in our life daily, it is the things that distract you, bother you, and buzz around in your head. When we do the things that bring us joy, that calm the mind, that lift the spirit, we take the sting out of the Bee.
Bee the change you want to see in the World! XO